Adventure Time - Roxy the Human
by nene9131
Summary: A teenage girl with an unknown past falls into the land of Ooo literally. Now Finn is no longer the only human and now Finn and Jake have a new sister adventuring with them. Will she find out where she came from? What kind of adventures will she have? What friends will she find? Also who will she fall in love with? Roxy/?
1. Prolouge - Meeting Roxy

Roxie - The Human

 **Prologue**

 _Darkness…All I see is darkness. W-Wh-Why is it so...cold? Wha-wha...What's that noise? It's so….loud. I'm scared….I'm so scared. Help. Help! Somebody help! How long! How long have I've been floating!? What's….that light!?_

 **Candy Kingdom**

"PB! PB!"

A young boy wearing a blue shirt and shorts with a white polar bear cap is seen running through the halls of the candy kingdom looking for the princess of said kingdom. This young fellow is Finn the Human.

"This way bro!"

Leading the charge is a short yellow dor who surprisingly can stand on his two hind legs and talk. This is Jake the Dog.

"Princess Bubblegum!" "Huh?"

Answering the two young heroes is the princes of the Candy Kingdom, Princess Bubblegum. Not only is she a kind ruler but she's one of the smartest people in all of Ooo, which is why the young heroes are seeking her today.

"What is it you guys?" PB asked

"We found this weird crystal while exploring some ruins." Jake answered

"Yeah. We were looking through some old stuff that was from the mushroom war. Suddenly there was a bright light and we found THIS!" At the end of his sentence Finn presented the weird gem to the Princess.

"Hmm? Let me see that." Bubblegum said with her hand out. Finn put the crystal in her hand. She walked over to her many scientific machinery and examined the crystal.

"Very odd."

"What is it Princess?" Jake asked.

"It seems that this crystal is alive."

Both Finn and Jake had a surprised face. "What do you mean alive?!" Finn asked

"Well," Princess Bubblegum put her hand on her chin and turned towards the boys, "The gem itself isn't alive, but it's emitting some type life essence."

"Ooooohhhh" The two said

"You guys have no idea what I'm saying do you?" PB replied

"Nope." Finn said

"Nah." Jake said, shrugging his shoulders

PB sighed rubbing her forehead. "It means that-"

Bubblegum is cut off by a Cinnamon Bun opening the door. "Hello Princess. Watcha doing?"

"Nothing important. Why don't you go and stand over there for a second Cinnamon Bun." PB said waving over to Cinnamon Bun.

"Okay."

While PB explained the crystal to Finn and Jake the shininess of the gem caught the eyes of Cinnamon Bun.

"Oooo pretty." He said, picking up the crystal and playing with it.

"Ahahah! So pretty." Cinnamon Bun seemed to be having a good time with the crystal watching it emit swirls of various colors over an onyx backdrop.

He was so enchanted with the crystal he failed to see the chair that he was about to trip over.

"Hahaha-Agggh!" Cinnamon Bun had not only tripped over the chair and dropped the crystal but he dropped it….out the window.

"Oh no the crystal!" Finn yelled.

Bubblegum, Jake, and Finn ran to the window to witness the gem plummeting to the ground and shattering upon impact. All three ran out of the castle and down to the remains of the once beautiful gem.

"Awww man." Jake said sadly

"Nuts." Finn said, snapping his fingers.

"Well, there goes another scientific discovery." PB stated.

"C'mon Jake le-" Finn is cut off by the crystal shards that started to grow brightly.

"What's happening!" Jake screamed

"I don't know!" PB yelled, shielding her eyes.

Suddenly the light created a beam which shot up into the air. The bright beam of light could be seen all across the Candy Kingdom, even to vast regions of Ooo.

The beam of light stopped but that was not the end of the magic. A large portal had opened up in the sky.

"Cool. What is it Princess?" Finn asked, staring in awe of the swirling vortex.

"Hmmm? It seems to be some type of portal or blackhole. The crystal might have been some type of doorway to a different dimension. Once it was shattered the doorway was opened." PB answered

"That sounds awesome. I wonder where it goes." Jake asked, quizzically.

"Who knows?" PB said, shrugging her shoulders. "Unfortunately doorways work both ways. We can go in and explore the other dimension, but that also means whatever is on the other side can come into our world too. Finn. Jake."

"Yes Princess."

"I need you two to stay and watch over this portal. Who knows what might come out of there. We have to protect the Candy Kingdom." PB said, seriously.

"You can count on us Princess." Jake said

"Jakes right. As long as-what's that!" Finn stopped mid sentence to point up at the portal.

"I think something is coming out!" Jake yelled

"What is it?" PB said, looking up at the portal and squinting her eyes.

"I think. It's a person." Jake said, staring at the portal too.

"WAAAAAAZZZZZ UUUUUUUUUPPPPPPP!" A female voice yelled.

A female figure started to fall through the portal and was quickly heading towards the ground.

Finn being the young hero he is jumps in trying to save whoever is falling from the portal.

"I've got you!" Finn yelled, diving after the figure.

"UGGGGH!"

Instead of catching the person, the person ended up landing on Finn.

"Oh I'm so glad I didn't land on something sharp." A girl said, exasperated.

 **A Few Minutes Before in the Portal**

" _What's...that light?"_

" _I'm being sucked down!"_

"WAAAAAAZZZZZ UUUUUUUUUPPPPPPP!"

 **Current Time**

"Ow my head. What a rush. Huh? Where am I?" A young girl with long black hair said.

"Ugghhh." A voice said beneath the girl.

The young girl looked under her. "Ahhhh I'm so sorry!" The girl got off Finn and and helped him up.

Everyone stared at the young girl as she stood in front of the Princess and the two heroes.

"Uhh hey?" She said, awkwardly raising her hand.

 **Timeskip - Inside the Castle**

"So you're saying that you've been floating in a dark abyss for who knows how long. You can't remember anything from your past but your name and a few images and sounds." Princess Bubblegum said summing up what the teenage girl had said to her.

"Yup, that's about it." The girl said.

"Wow that's so mathematical!" Finn said shouting, excited.

"Huh?" The girl said, tilting her head.

"By the way what is your name?" Jake asked

"Oh!" The girl said covering her mouth. "It's Roxanne, but something tells me you can also call me Roxy."

"Another question." Finn asked, raising his hand.

"What is it?" Roxy said, turning to the boy who was slightly shorter than her.

"Are you a human?" Finn asked.

"Of course I am. Uh I think" Roxy said, with uncertainty.

Princess Bubblegum came up in her lab coat. "A simple test can determine if your human or not. All I need is a sample of your hair," She said plucking out one of Roxy's hair."

"Oww!"

"Aaannnddd some of Finn's hair," She said plucking out some of Finn's hair.

"Oww!"

"Just give me a few minutes and we'll know for sure if she's human." BP said walking out of the room.

"Soooo. What's this big deal about being human anyway?" Roxy asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, I'm the only human." Finn replied, sadly.

"Really?!"

"Yep. My bro here is the only human left." Jake said, wrapping his arm around Finn.

"The only one left huh." Roxy said to herself.

Roxy got up from where she was sitting and stood in front of Finn. She put her hands on his shoulders and looked him straight in the eyes.

"Finn. I know we just met but I feel in my heart that I'm 100% human, and as the last two humans we've got to look out for eachother. I promise that I'll look after you like a, like a, like a big sister!", Roxy exclaimed, "From this day forth Finn no longer the only human, I promise to be your big sister."

Finn is left speechless after Roxy's proclamation.

"Hey if your Finn's sister that makes you mine too." Jake said wrapping the two up in his stretchy body.

"Hahaahaha!" The three laugh hugged up enjoying their moment together, like a real family.

In the middle of their hug Finn's hand had accidentally rang the bell on Roxy's neck.

 **TING TING**

 **CRASH**

"Woah!"

"Wow!"

"What is that!"

Once Roxy's bell had rung a white light came from the bell dropping off a giant hammer larger than any of them.

"It's so big!" Fin said, he goes to pick it up but it's far too heavy.

"Ugghhhh I almost...got it." Finn said, struggling.

"Haha, No you don't dude," Jake said pushing Finn aside, "Let me try."

Jake grew his hands to a tremendous size and attempted to lift up the hammer, the key word being attempted.

After several minutes of grunting Jake hadn't budged the hammer at all. "Okay I give up there's no moving this thing."

"Hmmmmm," Roxy taps her foot and studies the hammer, "I'm gonna give it a go."

Roxy wraps her hands around the hammer and pulls straight up falling over and bringing the hammer down with her.

"Woah, that was lighter than I expected." Roxy said

She stood up and held the hammer with one hand and easily slung it over her shoulder.

"Amazing Roxy, you're super strong!" Finn exclaimed

"Maybe only I can lift it." Roxy said

"Yeah. It must be some mystical weapon that only you can use Rox. Hey! That must mean you're a hero too." Jake said

"Haha I guess you're right Jake." Roxy said, jovially.

Roxy rung the bell on her neck and the hammer disappeared back into the bell.

 **SLAM**

The three turn their way towards the door that Bubblegum had entered earlier.

"The result are in!" PB shouted

Everyone had gathered around the Princess as she held up a piece of paper.

"According to my results, our new friend Roxy is 100% purebred human," PB said "Also she's 16 years old."

"Hahah did you hear that Finn," Roxy said excited, "Well I guess it's official I'm your new big sister."

"Hahahahhahwe'vegottotakeyouhomeandshowyouaroundOoo-" Finn said rather quickly.

"Woah Finn slow down! Breathe!" Jake said

*Huff* *Huff*

"What Finn means is you're going to be staying with us and we'll show you everything there is to when it comes to Ooo." Jake said

"Cool." Roxy said, with a smile.

 **Outside**

Finn and Roxy are now sitting on top of a now large Jake getting ready to leave for the Treehouse.

"Bye Princess. Thanks for the help." Finn said, waving towards the Princess.

"See ya later PB." Jake said

"It was nice meeting you Princess Bubblegum. See ya soon." Roxy said, waving too.

"Goodbye Finn and Jake. Goodbye Roxy and you're welcomed to the Candy Kingdom anytime."

 **Treehouse**

The trio had just arrived at the large treehouse home.

"Wow when you guys said treehouse you weren't kidding." Roxy said, amazed.

The two got off Jake's back and headed inside showing Roxy around.

"It's even more amazing on the inside."

"Hiya!" A little voice shouted

Roxy had felt a small thump on her foot and looked down to see a small videogame console hitting her foot.

Roxy picked the box up studying it, "Hey there cutie whatcha yah doing?"

"I am Bimo you intruder!" Bimo said, yelling at Roxy attempting to karate chop her face.

Roxy pulled Bimo away from her face, "Woah there tough guy," Roxy said laughing.

"Bimo this isn't an intruder. This is Roxy, she's a human just like me. She'll be living here." Finn said

"Oh okay. Hugs!" Bimbo said, wrapping his arms around Roxy's head in a hug.

"Hahaha you're adorable!" Roxy said

"Okay that's enough Bimo we've got to show Roxy around the treehouse." Jake said

 **After the Montage Tour**

"And this will be your sleeping." Jake said showing Roxy the bedroom.

"Don't worry we'll build you a bed." Finn said

"Well I think this place is perfect." Roxy said

"We're glad you like it." Finn and Jake said

"It's time to start dinner." Jake said, leaving the room.

"Roxy." Finn said grabbing her attention. "Why don't you and me play some videogames while we wait for food."

"Sure. Sounds fun." Roxy replied, with a smile.

 **Timeskip**

The four of them had gathered around the table ready to have dinner.

Jake had brought out three covered dishes.

"For dinner we've got spaghetti." Jake said, pulling the lid off the first dish.

"And for dessert I've got a special surprise," Jake put his hands over the two other dishes, "Finn and Roxy cakes!"

"Wow!"

"Amazing it's my face!"

"I thought since Finn likes Finn cakes so much you might like some Roxy cakes." Jake said

"Thank you so much Jake, that's so thoughtful of you." Roxy said, happily.

The four of them enjoyed dinner happily welcoming their new family member.


	2. Slumber Party Panic

**Slumber Party Panic**

A beautiful sunset can be seen over the horizon. The beautiful colors it gives off is casted over the Candy Kingdom. Jake and his woman Lady Rainicorn are seen playing in the forest beyond the Kingdom.

"Yeah, you think you're pretty way up there but I can get you!" Jake stretches up so that he can reach his flying girlfriend.

Lady Rainicorn flies up and over the forest calling after Jake, "나 잡아봐봐".

While the two lovers play a game of cat and mouse Finn, Roxy, and Princess Bubblegum, are doing important work in the Candy Cemetery.

"Alright. Let me just add three more drops of explosive diarrhea." Princess Bubblegum adds the drops of explosive diarrhea. Once she adds the drops a giant cloud shaped like a skull puffs out.

"Hey Princess Bubblegum, when we bring the dead back to life, will it be filled with worms?" Finn asked, tapping the table.

Princess Bubblegum shakes her head, "No. If my decorpsinator serum works, all the dead Candy People will look as young and healthy as you do."

Finn happy about the announcement beats his chest giving out a healthy Tarzan like yell.

"Wow Princess you sure are smart." Roxy said, looking at the beaker.

"Thank you Roxy, if you'd like I could teach you a few things." PB said

"Really?!" Roxy asked happily, "That would be great."

"Hahaha of course," PB pats Roxy back, then she turns to Finn, "Now pick up that platter, tough guy."

Finn picks the platter on the table and opens the lid, revealing a Candy Person corpse. "Old Mr. Cream Puff?"

Princess Bubblegum giggles, "We used to date."

She applies the decorpsinator serum to Old Mr. Cream Puff.

The three wait with baited breath hoping that the serum will work. Hope starts to light up in their eyes once they see Mr. Cream Puffs corpse start to move. Unfortunately the body starts to glow and he starts to foam at the mouth and ooze out the decorpsinator serum.

"Something's happening! Come on, come on…" Finn chants

"He's moving, he's moving!" Roxy exclaims

Princess Bubblegum clenches her fist staring at the corpse, "Work."

Mr. Cream Puff continues to move and ooze out but instead of turning back to normal he just becomes a saggy bag of candy flesh and moans constantly.

"Algebraic!" Finn shouts, happily.

"Uhhhhh…." Roxy looks at the candy corpse with uncertainty and moves her face away from Mr. Cream Puff.

Princess Bubblegum quickly stops Finns cheering, "Wait, something's wrong."

Mr. Cream Puff's Corpse starts reach toward Princess Bubblegum, "Sugar!"

"Ew!" PB and Finn shout

"Awww sick!" Roxy said, making a grossed out face.

The Zombie Mr. Cream Puff leaps off of the plate and into a giant test tube turning the liquid within from pink to green. The test tube shakes violently and falls over spilling its contents over all the candy graves. The serum takes effect immediately and Zombie Candy People start to rise out of their graves.

Finn looks around at all the Candy People rising for the grave, "Hey, look, the decorpsinator serum is working!"

Princess Bubblegum rubs the head of a Zombie Candy Person, "No, this is wrong. They're not coming back to life. They're still dead! The decorpsinator serum it's **incomplete!**

"AH! Princess!" Roxy grabs the Princess's hand pulls her away as the Candy Person attempts to take a bite out of her.

"Rah! Must eat sugar!" The Zombie struggles while trying to get at the princess.

Roxy kicks the Zombie back into the hole, "You are grounded, Mister."

"Nice one." Finn says high fiving Roxy.

"Oh, this is really bad. They're going to be attracted to the Candy Kingdom!" PB said

"Why?" Finn asked

"Candy eating Zombies, people made of Candy." Roxy said, trying to connect the dots for Finn.

"People are made of sugar, ya ding dong!" PB said, to Finn.

Zombie Mr. Cream Puff reached up to PB and grabbed her ankle, "Gimme some sugar, baby."

Finn quickly kicks the Zombie away, "Chew on this!"

"Good one, Finn. Quickly, to the kingdom!" PB said, running towards the kingdom followed by Finn and Roxy.

Finn kicks one last Zombie as they run out of the graveyard, "Get a life!"

Once Princess Bubblegum reaches the castle she climbs to the very top of a tower where she starts to ring a bell, "All citizens of the Candy Kingdom! Report to the palace, immediately!" She continues to shout gathering the Candy People to the castle.

Candy People start to flood out of their homes and towards the Castle.

Princess Bubblegum see's the zombies from the graveyard start to slowly make their way towards the castle. "Hurry, sweet citizen's." She hurries the Candy People into the castle.

Finn helps corral the Candy Citizen's into the castle, "Alright, you heard the princess, everyone in! Alright, no pushing, come on!"

"Come on sweet thangs in you go. Into the castle. There's room for everyone, no shoving. Hey! I saw that Popsicle be nice!" Roxy said helping to get the Candy People inside.

Jake stops in front of the two humans, "Dude, what's up?" Jake asked, Finn.

"The princess will explain everything," Finn pushed Jake inside, "Tree Trunks, get those hot buns in here, girl."

Tree Trunks walks up the steps of the castle carrying a basket full of hot steaming buns "Oh, I hope it's not bad news."

"I've got you TT." Roxy said, picking up Tree Trunks and helping her inside.

Finn and Bubblegum close the door and lock it turning around to face the Candy Citizens.

"Did we get everyone?" Finn said, looking around the room.

Manfried the pinata hanging from the ceiling gives the all clear to Finn, " All present and accounted for."

"Thanks, Manfried." Finn thanked

"You're welcome." Manffied replied

Princess Bubblegum gathers in front of the Candy People getting their attention, "Citizens, we are assembled here in the candy foyer for a momentous announcement. Tonight we are all going to have... a slumber party!"

"What _?!"_ Finn and Roxy yelled.

The Candy People shouted out in happiness over the idea of a party.

"Wait! What about the zom-?!" Finn is cut short by Princess Bubblegum covering his mouth.

"Go ahead and start partying." PB said, to the Candy People.

Roxy goes to put her input into the situation, "But, Princess, the Undead-", But she is also cut off by Princess Bubblegum who covers her mouth with her other hand.

Princess Bubblegum starts to pull the two into her lab, "We'll be right back, everyone."

As soon as they leave Jake immediately gets the party started, "Whooo!"

 **In PB's lab**

"Finn, Roxy, the Candy People can't know about the zombies." PB said

"Wha?!" Finn questioned

"Huh!?" Roxy said

"If they knew, they would flip out." PB said

"What do you mean flip out?" Finn asked

"I mean they would _**flip out**_!" PB said, with a  disturbing face.

 **Candy Cemetery**

Starchie the graveyard digger arrives at the Candy Cemetery carrying a large shovel, "Princess? It's me, Starchie the gravedigger. I brought you a larger corpse shovel. Oh, Princess? Well, I'll just wait for you here, then. By the mausoleum. With my back turned. And my defenses lowered," Starchie turns away from the mausoleum completely unaware of the Candy Zombie behind him.

The Zombie gets closer and closer towards Starchie until it's right behind him.

"Ragh! Sugar!"

Starchie quickly turns around and comes face to face with the deceased corpse of a Candy Citizen.

"AHHHHHH *gasp* AHHHHH *gasp* AHHHHHH, AHHHHHHHHH!"

 **BOOM** **!**

 **Back at the Lab**

"Candy People explode when they get scared?!" Finn and Roxy yelled

"Not telling the Candy People about the zombies is so important that you need to promise, Royal Promise, not to let anyone find out about the zombies, ever."

Finn easily agrees, "Okay, sure."

"You got it Princess." Roxy replied

"No, Finn. Roxy. You have to _Royal Promise."_ BP said

Finn kneels down in front of the Princess, "Yes, I Royal Promise."

Roxy does a curtsey to the princess, "I vow a Royal Promise to you Princess Bubblegum."

Princess Bubblegum satisfied by their answer nods her head, "Now I must cloister myself in the lab and finish the equation to my decorpsinator serum. You keep the candy folk distracted and ignorant. Can you do that?"

"Yes, your highness." Finn said

"You can count on us PB." Roxy said

The three walk out to the party.

"Good. Don't tell anyone about the zombies. Never ever." PB said, leaving back towards the lab.

"No, wait. Can we at least tell Jake?" Finn asked, the closing door.

"Tell me about what, dude?" Jake asked, surprising the two.

"You know, about the outbreak of zom-" Roxy quickly slaps her hands over Finn's mouth.

Jake laughs at the two, "Alright, what's going on?"

Roxy let's go of Finn's mouth, "Uhh, nothing at all, buddy!" Finn laughs awkwardly, while Roxy shifts her eyes away from Jake.

"Hey, dude's. I think you and Bubblegum are up to something." Jake said

Finn getting increasingly nervous attempts to answer Jake, "Ahha ah, what? No, no way."

"Whoa, you guys are up to something. Is it some sort of prank? Can I get in on it?" Jake said

"C'mon Jake if we were pulling a prank we would let you in on it," Roxy said, "Unless it was on you." She whispers the last part to herself.

Finn gather the attention of the Candy Party-goers, "Who wants to play 'Truth or Dare'?" Finn asked

"Hmm…", Jake rubs his chin getting even more suspicious of the two.

A circle is quickly formed as they set up for a game of truth or dare, with Jake sitting in between Finn and Roxy.

"Ok, Chocoberry, you may ask someone to tell a deep truth or a saucy dare." Finn said

Chocoberry points at Mr. Cupcake, "Mr. Cupcake, truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"I dare you to take off your wrapper."

Everyone watching Ooo's at the saucy dare.

Jake shoulders both Roxy and Finn grabbing their attention, "Hey seriously. I'm your bro. We're supposed to tell eachother everything all the time. What are you and Bubblegum up to? Is everything alright?"

"Yep! Fine! Everything is great! Heh, heh," Finn said sweating but his attention is quickly drawn to a wrapper less Mr. Cupcake, "Except for that. Whoa."

Roxy jokingly wolf whistle's Mr. Cupcake.

"I didn't know he was chocolate."

Now it is Mr. Cupcake's turn to pick a person and he chooses Jake, "Jake, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Do you prefer chocolate or fudge?"

Jake ponders the question for a few seconds before replying, "I can't eat chocolate or fudge 'cause I'm a dog and they'd probably kill me, but hmmmmm probably... neither. Finn! Truth or dare?"

" _OH GLOB!"_ Roxy thought.

"Dare! Haha!" Finn said, thinking he out witted Jake.

Jake being slightly smarter than that asked "I dare you... to tell me the truth about what's going on in your mind. What were you and Bubblegum talking about when you were alone together?"

More Ooo's came from the Candy crowd

"We weren't alone Roxy was with us and Umm, ahh, the truth is, ahhh…" Finn said, nervously with a slight blush.

Finn imagines PB and remembers the promise he and Roxy made, with a little extra added to it.

" _You promised you wouldn't freakin' tell anyone! Oh, you're so cute, Finn."_

"Ahhh... the truth is…" Finn continues to struggle with an answer until he comes up with an idea, "I'd rather play Dodge Socks!"

Finn takes off his shoe quickly and throws it at Jakes face.

"Yeah dodge sock!" Roxy shouts holding two tube socks in her hands, trying to encourage the game and throw Jake off the trial.

"I'm not playing dodge socks 'til you stop dodging my questions. Hey…" Jake sniffs the sock, "Old Mr. Cream Puff? Isn't he dead?"

Finn quickly grabs his sock, "Hey, give me my sock back! Dodge Socks was a bad idea!"

"Whoa. Look you two, just tell me what's up, 'cause you are crazier than a cannonball tonight." Jake said, angry

Finn and Roxy glance at each other and then out at the window to see the Zombies outside the window.

" _Oh, my goodness! Princess hasn't finished the equation and the zombies are here!"_ Finn thinks

"We, uh, she just want this slumber party to be super fun, and if we did have something to tell you, then we would in a second, and it would make our life easier, unless there was something stopping us, like a promise, but there isn't, so we won't, so it's cool." Finn said, to Jake.

During his whole speech Roxy stood in the background nodding her hard agreeing with whatever Finn said.

A Zombie appears at the window behind Jake and reaches for him.

"Sugar!"

Roxy quickly shuts the window.

"What? You lost me." Jake said, confused

"Umm... Hey, you know what time it is?" Finn asked

"Adventure time?" Jake questioned

"No, time for uh…"

"Seven minutes in heaven!" Roxy interrupts

"Really?" Jake asked

Finn pushes Jake in the closet, while Roxy pushes in Lady Rainicorn.

"Lady Rainicorn! In the closet with Jake!" Roxy said

"뭐? 나? 웃겨 정말. 그래, 좋아. 하자." Lady said

"Okay, okay, alright," Jake agrees. Finn shuts the door on the two.

"But in seven minutes, I'm gonna come out and make you spill your beans." Jake said, through the door.

"I can't hear you all the way in heaven!"

More Zombies can be seen coming to the castle and as they gather at the main entrance they start to bang recklessly on the door scaring one of the Candy Citizens.

"Umm, does anyone else hear that?" Asked a Candy Person

"What? Hear what? I, I don't hear anything." Finn said

"I hear something I don't understand... and it makes me scared!" The Candy Person begins to shake starting the first stages of flipping out.

"What? No, Chet. Everybody, wait. What noise? You mean this noise?" Roxy said, turning on a boom box.

"Oh. Hahah" This quickly eases the nerve of the Candy People

"Yeah! Dance it! Bust it up! Uh! Uh! Uh! Oh!" Finn said, dancing.

"DJ Rox is in the house!" Roxy said, pulling out a turn table.

Suddenly a Zombie comes through the window but is quickly stopped by Roxy who threw a record at its head. Finn quickly runs toward the window and boards it up.

"What is this game you are playing at now, Finn?" Chocoberry asked.

"Uhh, it's... Blockado. Haha, the game of barricades. Come on, let's block all the entrances and windows!" Finn said

The Candy People cheered over the new game and quickly started to participate by blocking all the doorways and entries.

"Alright, this is not a permanent solution. Think Finn, how can you keep everyone from finding out?" Finn said, himself.

Finn's words are overheard by Manfried, "Find out about what, Finn?"

"Manfried, the talking piñata! Your convient appearance gives me a great idea. Everyone, grab a stick! New game! We're gonna smash some piñatas!" Finn said

"What?" Manfried said scared

"Except for you, Manfried."

"Oh, thank goodness."

Roxy pulls some strips off of Taffy girl and hands them out to the Candy People.

"Now everybody don these blindfolds. Thanks, Taffy Girl." Roxy said

Finn and Roxy run to the middle of the blindfolded Candy People.

"Alright, everybody, get together. We're hanging the piñatas," The Zombies break through the barricades,"They're all around you. Smash the piñatas!"

Roxy summons her hammer and starts taking out multiple Zombies.

"Yeah! You guys are on fire!"

Chocoberry hits a Zombie and it burst open. She kneels on the ground and starts eating the Candy Zombie.

"Oh, it is so tasty."

"Yes! We did it! My improbable plan worked!" Finn shouted

Jake and Lady finally come out of the closet.

"Whew!" Jake said

"안녕!" Lady said

"Seven minutes up yet?" Jake said eating a doughnut, "Whoa! What the nuts happened here?!"

"Oh, we killed all the zombies that Princess Bubblegum and I raised from the dead." Finn said

"Really!?"

Jake stops moving. That's when Roxy and Finn notices that everyone had stopped moving.

"Jake? What's going on?" Finn asked

"Uhh? I don't like this." Roxy said

Princess Bubblegum enters the room seeing everything is frozen.

"What? Huh? Oh, Finn! Did you break your Royal Promise?" She asked

"Yeah, but, I mean, all the zombies are dead. The Candy People won't freak out. What's the big deal?" Finn questioned, "Hey! Why didn't you think Roxy broke the promise?"

"This is really, really bad, you guys. You can't break Royal Promises. Never, ever, never. No matter what, forever." PB said

"Ummmm PB what happens when you break a Royal Promise?" Roxy asked

The room starts to shake violently throwing the trio off balance.

"The Guardians of the Royal Promise are coming for us." PB said

A giant hand burst through one of the windows and grabs the three of them.

"Finn the Human. You have broken a Royal Promise for which the penalty is trial by fire." The Guardian said breathing fire.

Roxy grabs Finn and brings him in a hug.

"You can't burn my baby bro!" She screamed

Finn gets out of Roxy's grip, "That's stupid."

Princess Bubblegum stops the Guardians, "Wait! He's my friend! Isn't there another option?!"

"Yes. Because you care for the promise-breaker, we will give him a less hot trial. You must now answer…Math questions!"

"Mathematical!" Finn shouted

"Finn, you're terrible at math." PB said

"She's got you pegged there." Roxy said

"Awww." Finn said, sadly.

"Now, solve this!" The Guardian puts up a hologram projects of an extremely hard math problem.

"Uhh..."

"Oh Crud."

"Oh, wait, wait, I thought of a better one." The Gumball Guardian said

He changes the nearly impossible problem to one of the simplest out there.

"Yes! Two plus two. Solve it or die." The Guardian said

"Uhh. Four, right?" Finn answered

The Gumball Guardians start to laugh.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-"

The Guardians abruptly stop laughing.

"Oh, correct." The Guardian said

The Guardian's head explodes and time starts to rewind.

"What's happening, Princess?" Finn asked

"You've defeated the broken royal promise! The Gumball Guardians are resetting!" PB yelled

Finn, Roxy, and Princess Bubblegum are teleported back into the Candy Kingdom.

"Slamacow! That was tops! Who's not good at math? I was all 'Four!'" Finn said, excited.

Princess Bubblegum gets a quizzical look on her face, "Four, four... Four, four, four... That's it! The answer was so simple, I was too smart to see it!"

"You're welcome!" Finn said

"What'd you mean?" Roxy asked

"'4' is the last figure I need to perfect my decorpsinator serum." PB said

 **Timeskip**

Princess Bubblegum, after a short time in the lab, had returned with the corrected serum and was pouring it all over the Zombie Candy People.

"Woohoo! Yeah!" Finn exclaimed

"This is messed up, but sweet." Jake said

"진짜로." Lady said

Starchie the grave digger is revived by the serum.

"Starchie!"

"Mornin'." Starchie greeted

Jake walked up to Finn, "Man, you broke a Royal Promise? You're nuts. All you had to do is say that it was a royal secret. I know what's up."

"I hope you grasp the full consequences of breaking promises." BP said, to Finn.

"Heck yeah! If I break a Royal Promise, I get to fight zombies, throw slumber parties, awake Gumball Guardians and... and…" Finn said

"Calm down you." Roxy said

"And reverse death itself!" Finn finished

"Oh, you are adorable. But keep your promises, okay?" PB said

"I will, Princess." Finn said

Finn feels something chewing on his leg and looks down to see Starchie chewing on his leg.

"Starchie, you're not a zombie." Finn said, picking up Starchie

"I can't help it. Flesh is delicious!" Starchie said

"You're delicious!" Finn replied

Starchie laughs, "Don't squeeze me! I'll fart!"

Finn squeezes Starchie and he farts.

 **END**


	3. Trouble in Lumpy Space

**Trouble in Lumpy Space**

 _ **Candy Kingdom**_

It's another beautiful day at the Candy Kingdom. Our young heroine is currently enjoying this beautiful day by making a new friend by the name of Lumpy Space Princess.

"Sooo you're from lumpy space and the princess of it." Roxy questioned

"Yeah it's like totally like the coolest place ever, and I'm like totally the coolest person there, because of all these lumps" LSP said.

Roxy had no idea how to respond to the Lumpy Princess so she just decided to copy the girl's words. "That's like totally cool, and so are your lumps." She said

"Yeah girl I know. You're like totally my new NLFF" LSP said

"Huh?" Roxy said, tilting her head

"My Non Lumpy Friend Forever." LSP said, with her usual sassy tone.

"Uh okay. Cool." Roxy said

"C'mon you two! It's time for the Mallow Tea Ceremony!" Finn called to the two girls.

"Coming Finn! Let's go LSP." Roxy said

 _ **Mallow Tea Ceremony**_

Finn, Jake, Roxy, Princess Bubblegum, and Lumpy Space Princess were currently jumping on giant marshmallows attempting to drink tea. Although the only one's who succeeding were Princess Bubblegum and LSP, even though LSP was floating.

"Whoop! Huh?" Finn said, bouncing attempting to drink tea.

"Whoopiiieee…" LSP said, jum-floating and drinking her tea.

Princess Bubblegum was currently sitting at a table sipping her tea while the table bounced on the giant marshmallow's, "Cheers, Lumpy Space Princess."

Everyone takes part in cheers with only about 20% of the cheerers being able to drink the tea.

"Princess, this tea party sucks in a big way! But thanks for the invite!" Finn said

"Oh, don't worry, Finn. The Mallow Tea Ceremony takes years to master." PB said

"Almost...almost got….it!" Roxy said, concentrating on drinking her tea. Although she had got the bouncing down she was having trouble keeping the tea in her cup. "Almo-glob darn it!" She screamed, when the tea spilled out.

Finn was starting to get more steady with his bouncing and attempted to bring his cup of tea to his face, "Princess! I think I just now mastered it!", The tea splashes in his face, "One more bounce," Finn does one final large bounce and dismounts from the marshmallow's. "Alright!"

Then he face plants on the ground. "Unh! Tea partying hard, huh, Jake?"

"Oof! Yes!" Jake said, hitting the ground too.

"What?! No way! It's super easy!" LSP said, floating.

Finn pointed at LSP, "Lumpy Space Princess, you big faker! You're floating, not bouncing!"

Roxy bounces down from the marshmallows covered in tea. "Yeah LSP. It's pretty easy when your lumps keep you afloat."

"Fine. I'll prove it," She stops floating and lands on a marshmallow, "Huh? Ah! Oh, no!" Unfortunately this doesn't go well for her and she immediately falls over, "Oh, snap!"

LSP continued to bounce off the marshmallows until she lands on the ground biting Jake on the leg.

"AAAAAGH!" Jake screamed

"Oh. Sorry I bit your leg." LSP said, her voice muffled because she was still biting Jake's leg.

"You're still biting me!" Jake yelled

"Oh, my gosh. Oh, right. Sorry." LSP said, finally unlatching her teeth from Jake's leg.

Finn notices Jake's leg starting to lump up, "Dude! Your leg!"

Jake looks down at his leg "This is... new. It's nothing' ominous, though. Just a bump."

Roxy pushes down on Jake's lumpy leg, "Haha it's like a jiggly balloon. Boop Boop," She said poking at his lump.

Lumpy Space Princess floats over to the three, "Nah, that's no bump. It's the early stage of the lumps."

"Is it serious?" Finn said

"It just means he's changing into a Lumpy Space guy, on account of my bite. It's just like, um, y'know... werewolf rules?" She raises her hands to mimic claws and bares her for some reason sharp teeth, "Ar, rawr rawr rawr rawr rawr rawr!"

"Oh, no!" Finn yelled, shocked.

"Well that's not good. Boop." Roxy said, still poking at Jake's lumps.

"What? You think I'm gonna- will you stop that!" Jake said to Roxy.

Roxy raises her hands in surrender, "Sorry bro. Haha it was just too fun."

"Anyways you think I'm gonna turn all lumpy like her? Get outta here," Jake's arm suddenly lumps up, "Wha? Finn, Roxy I think I'm freakin' out!"

Roxy attempting to calm down her dog bro wraps him in a comforting hug.

"Calm down, bud! I'll... I'll sock the lumpiness outta ya!" Finn said, raising his fist.

Before Finn could punch out the lumpiness a teacup shatters on the ground and Princess Bubblegum jumps down to join them.

"Hey, now! Royal intervention! Surely there must be an antidote to the lumps." PB said

"Yeah. There's an antidote, but you have to go all the way to Lumpy Space to get it. And Jake has to use it by sunset." LSP said

"What happens if he doesn't take the antidote by sunset?" PB said

Lumpy Space Princess stares at them holding for dramatic pause, "He'll be lumpy, like, forever." She finally said.

Finn starts freaking out even more, "LSP, please! Can you tell us how to reach Lumpy Space?"

"Yeah, I mean, there's a portal nearby. I can show you whenever." LSP said, crossing her arms.

Finn, Jake, and Roxy crowd around LSP, "Take us now! Take us now!" They plead running off with LSP.

Princess Bubblegum is left alone but all that tea finally hits her. "I should not have drunk that much tea!" She said, running off while grabbing her stomach.

The group are walking in the forest following LSP to the Lumping Space entrance.

"Don't go telling everyone about this portal or whatever. It's kind of a secret." LSP said

The trio look around not seeing anything.

"Where is it?" Finn asked

Lumpy Space Princess points down, "Portal's that Frog and mushroom."

The green frog ribbit's then it jumps up on the mushroom.

The frog's chest expands with another ribbit before it questions LSP, "Password, please."

"Whatevers2009!" LSP yells

"Good day, Princess. Is your father okay with you entering Lumpy Space with three… non-Lumpers?" The frog said

Finn whisper yells to LSP, "Just say yes! Yes, yes, yes!"

"Yeah, whatever, fine." She said

The frog extends it tongue and pulls the four into its mouth one by one.

 _ **Lumpy Space**_

"Whoa... Lumpy Space. So, where's the antidote?" Finn said

Lumpy Space Princess puts her hand up, "Hold it. First, you should check out my house. It's, like, kind of lame, but way less lame than, like, your house."

"Uh that's nice." Roxy said, not trying to be rude.

"Uh, could you skip to the part where you tell us where the antidote is?" Jake said

Lumpy Space Princess points up and over towards a lumpy hill, "It's up there at Makeout Point."

"That's so close! We can run there in no…" Finn seeing how close the hill was runs towards it only to see that it's actually a separate lumpy cloud. "...time. Aww, what?! It's, like, a million-mile fall into space!"

Roxy stands on the edge and whistles, "That's a long way down." She said, looking down.

"Yeah. You have to travel by car in my world, or else you'll fall into the Lumpy Abyss." LSP said

Suddenly a car drives up to with an angry looking purple lumpy man in the driver side.

"Daughter! Have you brought smooth people into our domain?!" He yelled

"I had to, Dad... I'm trying to help them, so don't lumping yell at me!" She yelled back.

The Lumpy Space King turns around and shows the Lumpy Space Queen attached to him.

"Woah." Roxy said, surprised not seeing that coming.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?! What did you just say?!" Lumpy Space Queen yelled, just as angry.

Lumpy Space Princess got even more angry at her parents, "I SAID, "LUMP OFF," MOM!"

Lumpy Space Princess starts to flip out and waves her arms shouting some incoherent words.

"Uh…" Finn said, awkwardly.

Lumpy Space Princess still angry turns to Finn, "WHAT?!" She yelled

Roxy decided to just keep her mouth shut and just watches the drama shifting her eyes back and forth between the two, her eyes mimicking that of a tennis game.

Finn puts up his hands mimiing out driving a car, "Vroom vroom?"

Lumpy Space Princess calms down, "Oh, yeah," She turns to her parents, "I need to borrow the car."

"You have made your mother cry for the last time, daughter! You are hereby banned from using the royal car!" Lumpy Space King yelled, he turned around and entered the house slamming the door.

"Shucks! I lumping hate them! I'm really, really sorry, Finn. But I can't help you because my parents are horrible idiots." LSP said

"Don't you know anyone else with a car?" Roxy asked

"My friend Melissa has a car. But she's dating my ex-boyfriend Brad." LSP said

"Call her NOW." Finn said frustrated

"Hmm." She pulls out her phone, "Call BFF 66."

"Hey, Melissa. What's up?" LSP said, into her phone.

Finn tries to squeeze himself in between LSP and her phone, "What's she saying?"

LSP whispers to Finn, "I'm asking her, jeez!" She turns back to her phone, "Melissa, just listen! Melissa. I'm trying to help out some friends."

Roxy just goes over and sits next to the semi-lumpy Jake.

"Do you think he needs help?" Jake asked

Roxy looks over at LSP and Finn. LSP is just talking on the phone while Finn spazzes and jumps around her.

"Nah he's got this." She said.

LSP pauses for a moment listening to her friend over the phone. She suddenly gasp listening to her friend, "Oh, Glob. I forgot."

"What'd she say?" Finn said

"Tonight is the weekly Promcoming Dance!" LSP shouts out. She turns back to the phone, "It's gonna be so flipping awesome!" She said with excitement.

"LSP, we don't have time for this. Ask for the ride, LSP." Finn said

Lumpy Space Princess is still dazed over, "Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh-"

Finn takes the phone away from LSP who doesn't notice because she's still thinking about Promcoming."

"Melissa, you should totally drive us to Makeout Point to make out with hot boys!" Finn said, in LSP voice.

"Biyah." Finn hangs up the phone.

"Hmm." LSP said, taking back her phone.

"Sorry. But Jake's lumpiness is worsening!" Finn said

"Actually, I think I'm beating it back with sheer willpower!" Jake said, but then suddenly his face starts to lump out.

"Yeah I don't think so." Roxy said

"Oh, my." Jake pushes down on the lumps trying to make them go back down.

"Yeah, whatever. Just don't mess with my phone again." LSP said, putting her phone away.

Melissa arrives in her pink car.

"Hi!" She yells, waving.

Melissa drives her car into Finn knocking him over.

"Ugh... OKAY! Let's go, let's go, let's go!" Finn said

All of them pile into the car and Melissa drives off.

"Aw, Finn, this music ducks, right?" Jake said. Suddenly his voice changes and he sounds like LSP, "Ah. I love this song. We should totally TP Shandala's house!" Jake said like LSP freaking out Finn and Roxy.

After his outburst Jakes goes back to normal, "Gracious! That was terrible! Finn, Roxy, if you can't save me from the lumps... if I do turn... if I become lumpy like them, I want you to—"

Finn and Roxy cut off Jake by embracing him in a tight hug with tears in their eyes, "It's not gonna come to that. But if it does, we'll bury you beneath the nicest, most shadiest tree!" Finn said, sadly

Roxy sadly rubs her head on Jake's, "And and I promise to visit you everyday and bring-"

Jake pushes the two away, "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm saying that if I go totally lumpy, then I want you to get used to lumpy Jake. What did you think I was sayin'?"

Roxy looks away and coughs into her hand, "Oh."

Finn joins Roxy in the awkwardness and looks away too, "Oh, um... Heh heh." Finns turns to the front of the car, "CAN'T THIS CAR GO ANY FASTER?!" He yelled, to the front.

"We're already here!" Melissa said, parking the car. She turns around and looks to the back of the car focusing her attention on Finn, "Hi, Finn." She said with a blush.

"We've been here for, like, five minutes." LSP said

"Finally! Huh?" Finn looks around, "This doesn't look like Makeout Point."

"Where are we?" Roxy said looking around.

"This is Brad's house. You wanted a ride to Makeout Point? You think I want to make out with you?!" Melissa said grabbing Finn by the shirt and lifting him close to her face.

"Uh…" Finn said, not knowing what to do.

Melissa blushes at Finn, "Well, maybe I do, but... wait. I HAVE A BOYFRIEND, FINN!" She throws Finn down but Roxy catches him.

"LSP, we gotta hurry! Jake's running out of time!" Finn said still in Roxy's arms.

"Hey. This is hard for me, too. I mean, I used to eat chili cheese fries with Brad... so there's gonna be a lot of romantic tension on this ride!" LSP said, emotionally.

Suddenly a small lumpy dude gets into the car.

"Hey."

"Oh, Braaaaad…" Melissa said giggling.

Brad turns his attention to LSP, "You miss me yet, LSP?"

Lumpy Space Princess gets up and makes her way to the back of the car, "Scooch over, you two. I'm gonna sit in the back."

Brad's focus follows LSP until Roxy comes into his field of vision.

"Well hello there. I'm Brad." He said, raising an eyebrow.

"Uuuhhh Hi?" Roxy said, awkwardly.

He winks at her causing her to cringe. He continues to stare at her so she just picks up Jake and places him in front of her face.

"Uhh what are you doing?" Jake asked

"Oh nothing. Just giving you a nice view. It might take your mind off of the lumpification. Hahaha." Roxy said, awkwardly.

The car drives off and they soon arrive at Makeout point.

"This is it." LSP said, when they arrived.

Melissa parks the car. Finn and Roxy jump out of the car.

"Let's go!" Finn said

Lumpy Space Princess stops them, "Wait. Watch yourself, you guys. The guys who use the antidote up here are notorious for being…" She leans in and whispers, "smooth posers."

"Smooth posers?" Roxy questions

"What does that mean?" Finn asked

"It just means what it means. Hurry. Get the antidote so we can get outta here." LSP said

"Thanks, LSP." Finn and Roxy said.

"BUUUUMPS." LSP said.

"Um... bumps." Jake said

"Uh, yeah, bumps." Finn said

"Yep, bumps totally." Roxy said

Jake starts lump out more freaking them out.

"Aw, man!" Jake yelled

The three start to head up the hill, but Roxy pauses when a voice calls out to her.

"See ya later Roxy~" Brad calls out.

Roxy shivers and keeps running to catch up with her brothers.

When they reach the top of the hill they see three guys chilling out. Two which are lumpy while the other one sitting down is smooth.

Finn greets the three, "Hey, guys. Lookin' smooth!"

"Really? You think we're smooth?" The one with the glasses said.

"Well, mostly you in the center, but yeah!" Finn replied.

"Why are you sucking up to us?" The one sitting on a sphere, Monty, said.

"My best friend needs an antidote for lumpiness." Finn said

Roxy emphasizes Finn's point by pointing at Jake, who was starting float away. She notices this and jumps up grabbing onto his leg and pulling him down.

"Chyah, lumpiness suuucks. Hey, Monty, time's up, sphere-hog!" The pink guy, Lenny, pushes Monty off the sphere. Once Monty falls off he goes back to being lumpy. "My turn!" Lenny sits down on the orb turing smooth.

"So the antidote is in that orb you were sitting on!" Finn said

"This orb is the antidote, bruh." Lenny said, pointing down at the orb.

"Can my friend borrow it?" Finn asked

"Pllllleeeeaaaasssseeeeee." Roxy asked

"Yeah, sure, as long as you give it right back." Lenny said, picking up the orb and gives it to Finn.

"Hammacow. Thanks, fellas." Finn said, about to take the orb.

That's when Lumpy Space Princess decides to enter the scene.

"What's taking so long? Did those smooth-heads give you the orb already, or what?" LSP said

Lenny pulls the orb away from Finn.

"Wait!" Finn said reaching for the orb.

"AW C'MON!" Roxy screamed, grabbing her face in anger.

"Is this another friend of yours?" Lenny asks

"What do you care? Just give 'em the antidote already, and stop being such a poser." LSP said

"Sorry, guys. We changed our minds." Monty said, walking away with the others.

Finn turns to LSP with a super angry face, "Why did you have to say all those rude things to them?!"

"What? I was helping you." LSP said

"Thanks a lot!" Finn said, sarcastically, "They were right about to hand over the antidote!" He yelled.

"You're welcome a lot." LSP said, with a bitterness to her tone.

Meanwhile Roxy seems to be having a little freakout of her own by herself, or it would be by herself if Jake wasn't next to her. "We were this close," She cried to herself. Jake pats her back trying to comfort her. "I had to sit in a car with him staring at me making those weird faces. I was polite to that weirdo for nothing." Roxy continued to cry to herself.

Back to Finn and Lumpy Space Princess

"You insulted them! And they got mad! And now Jake's gonna be lumpy forever! This is all your fault!" Finn yelled

"Wow. Now I know how you really feel. I was just trying to help, but whatever. No. No, not whatever! I know I mess things up sometimes, but I'm really trying! And you guys are supposed to be my friends!" LSP starts to tear up, "Not like the fake ones I have here! So do what you want! I'm going to Promcoming! Are you coming or not, Lumpy Jake?" She finished

"No. Because no matter how messed up and lumpy I get, this guy never turn his back on them!" Jake said, proudly. That is until he completely turns lumpy. "Oh, yah. Right behind ya. Just gotta turn my back on these guys."

Jake and LSP float away leaving Finn and Roxy alone.

"JAKE! IT'S ALMOST SUNSET!" Roxy yells out.

"Jake... I didn't save him... I…" Finns falls to the ground and starts punching the ground, "I'LL KILL YOU, LUMPY SPACE!"

"Jam on, man!" Monty said

"Huh? I thought you guys left!" Finn said

"We were drawn back by your plaintive wail. We dig your directionless fury." Monty said

"Um, thanks." Finn said

"Respect. Here," Monty tosses the orb to Finn, "Take it. Win your girl back!"

"Yeah, there's no girl. But there is still time to save Jake! Do you guys know where Promcoming is?" Finn asked

"Promcoming takes place way down on that land-lump." Monty said, pointing down.

"Awesome. Do any of y'all have wheels?" Finn asked

"Nah. We were all ditched here just like you." Monty said

"Well... you think we can make it to that land-lump if we jumped off this cliff?" Finn asked

"You kidding?! Smoothie's like you will plummet right into the eternal void!" Monty yelled

"What if I was lumpy? Could I float over?" Finn said

"No, no! It's too dangerous!" Lenny said

"I'd say there's a 50/50 chance of you making it!" Glasses sadi

"That's good enough for me. Now bite me!" Finn yelled

The three just look at him in disbelief. Finn not having any time to argue forcefully makes the three bite him.

"Yes! I can feel the multiple bites accelerating the lumpification process! I'm starting to float!" Finn yelled

"Don't jump, guy!" Lenny yelled

"I have to! For my buddy," Finn jumps down, "RAAAAAAGH!"

"Wow. He's insane." Glasses said

"Well I guess it's my turn," Roxy said looking down. She looks back at the three guys, "Can one of you guys bite me?" She asked

All three of them laugh bashfully and blush

"Haha I'd be happy to bite someone so smooth…..and cute." Lenny said

"Uhhhh" Roxy said, awkwardly

"I'll bite you too!" Monty exclaims

"Yeah yeah me too!" Glasses said

"Hey I said I would bite her first!" Lenny said, pushing his friends

"No I'll do it!" Monty says, pushing back.

"No me!" Glasses, whines.

Pretty soon the three lumpy boys are in a fight. Punching, biting, and name calling are being used to hurt physically and psychologically.

Roxy just sighs and tries to come up with an idea of getting down. "Hmmm, I would need something that could make me float." Roxy looks down at her large overshirt and gets an idea.

She takes her shirt off leaving her in her black sports bra, not noticing that the fighting behind her had stopped.

"If I tie this here and there aaannnddd done." Roxy exclaims, holding up her makeshift project. She had turned her shirt into a parachute.

"AH ha ha! I'm coming boys!" Roxy preps to jump but not before turning back to the three guys, "Thanks for you help. Finn! Jake!" Roxy yelled, jumping over.

The three boys are left alone in a crumpled heap blushing.

Roxy crashes through the roof of Promcoming. She lands on her feet and dust herself off and puts her shirt back on looking up at the hole, "Huh? Didn't hurt," She just shrugs her shoulders and looks for Finn and Jake, and oh boy does she find them.

She finds not only a lumpy Jake, but also a Lumpy Finn. She runs over to break the boys apart. "Okay you two break it up!" She yells, pushing the two apart.

"Oh look at this loser." Lumpy Jake said, pointing at Roxy.

"Yeah, what do you think you're doing smoothy." Lumpy Finn said, slapping Roxy's hand away.

"I'm trying to help you two." Roxy said, frustrated.

"Hahaha we don't need any help from some loser smoothy." Lumpy Jake laughs at her.

"Haaaaghh that's it! I've lost all my patience!" Roxy yelled, grabbing the orb from Lumpy Finn.

Roxy grabs Lumpy Jake in a choke hold and forcefully puts him on the orb de-lumping him.

"Oh, I'm not lumpy anymore! Thanks Rox!" Jake yelled

"Your welcome." Roxy said, still seething a little. She picks up the orb from Jake and turns to Lumpy Finn. "Now it's your turn." She said, scaring him a little.

Lumpy Finn tries to make a break for it but Roxy quickly chases after him. "You get back here mister! Sit on this orb!" She yelled, running after him.

"No! You can't make me! Smooth—OOF!" Lumpy Finn crashes into someone knocking himself out.

"It's a good thing Lumpy Finn isn't as tactical as normal Finn." Roxy said

She picks up Lumpy Finn and places him on the orb, de-lumping him just like Jake.

Jake joins the two while a crowd gathers around them with one of the onlookers being Lumpy Space Princess. "Hey, you did it Roxy!"

"Yeah. I guess I did. Haha I couldn't let my two bros stay lumpy forever." Roxy said

Jake goes up to Finn and attempts to wake him up, "Finn! Hey, Finn! Hey, buddy! Finn."

Finn stirs and starts to open his eyes, "Huh?"

"Hey, dude. We made it. Thanks to Rox here." Jake said

"Man... There's something cold under my butt," Finn looks down to see the orb, "Oh! Haha, The antidote! Just in time, too!" Finn turns to Lumpy Space Princess, "LSP, I'm sorry I blew up at you before. I didn't mean it. I was just really stressed out."

"You know, it's fine. You and Jake can make it up to me by dancing this last dance with me." LSP said

"Sounds good to me. Whaddaya say, Jake?" Finn said

"That sounds totally lame." Jake said, in a lumpy voice.

Everyone gasps

"Heh heh heh. I'm just kiddin'. Let's dance!" Jake said

Everyone begins dancing enjoying the Promcoming dance.

 _ **A few days later**_

 _ **Treehouse - Night**_

All of the heros have been relaxing at home after the Lumpy Space incident, well almost all of them.

"Roxy phone for you!" Jake yelled

"Coming!" She yelled back.

Roxy climbed down stairs and took the phone from Jake.

"Hello?"

Jake and Finn watch Roxy on the phone watching her face turn into a grimace.

"Not happening!" Roxy yelled, into the phone and then quickly hung it up.

"Haha was that Brad or one of those lumpy smoothie guys?" Jake questioned

"Ughhh does it matter!?" Roxy yelled, waving her arms around. "They've been bugging me ever since we got back and Brad gives me the creeps. No matter how much I turn them down they keep calling back. How the heck did they even get this number!"

"Haha your just irresistible sister." Jake said

"Guess you better stop being so appealing." Finn said

Finn and Jake both poke fun at her.

"Waaaagh!" Roxy slams her head on the table.

RING RING RING

"NOOOOOO!"

SMASH

Roxy in her dismay smashes the phone onto the ground and starts to stomp on the phone chanting "Die, Die, Die."

Finn and Jake just stare at her.

She finishes her job and turns to the boys. "Uhhhh I'll buy you new one Jake."

 **END**


	4. Prisoners of Love

Prisoners of Love

Roxy's time in the Land of Ooo has been quite enjoyable. She's made some interesting new friends and is loving being the sister of Finn and Jake. She also loves being a heroine. It seems like fighting monsters comes natural. Even though she's only experienced a small sliver of Ooo she's loved every part of it. Although today might change her mind.

Ice Kingdom

Today Finn and Jake have taken Roxy to the Ice Kingdom to go sledding. Roxy loved the snow, although she couldn't remember loving the snow, but as soon as she felt the crunch of fresh snow under her feet she knew she was going to love being in the snow.

Right now Finn and Jake were piled onto a office chair, while Roxy was sitting on a trash lid. All three were riding down the snowy hills of the Ice Kingdom. Their laughs of excitement can be heard as they crash through a slow golem's head.

The chair and trash lid goes up another hill and launches the trio into the air. As they land back on the snow the chair breaks on impact.

"Oh, no, our sled's broken! Hey, let's build one out of snow!" Finn said. He started to gather up snow trying to make a snow sled. Roxy stops next to Finn and kicks up the lid into her hands.

Finn is stopped by Jake who grows five times his size.

Jake picks up Finn, "What are you doing Jake?"

"Sled's are for suckers just ride on my gut." Jake said

"Okay!" Finn said, cheering.

Roxy puts the lid back down on the snow and steps on it. "Try and keep up boys!" Roxy said, laughing. She kicks off and starts riding down the hill.

Finn jumps onto Jake's giant gut and rides down the hill following Roxy.

The three ride down the hill neck and neck. Finn and Jake start to take the lead and pass by a Iceclops. It reaches for the two but misses. Roxy follows after and uses the Iceclops back as a jumping ramp.

"Woooooo!"

Roxy soars off into the air and lands on the snow not even noticing that she veered off a different path from Finn and Jake.

"AAAAWWWWEEESOOOOMMMME!"

Roxy continues to sled down the mountain enjoying her time down the slopes. She heads up a slope flying over the snow.

"WOOOOOOOOO-AAAAAAAAA!"

*SMACK*

Roxy had made a perfect landing unfortunately after she landed she sleded right into the side of a giant ice structure knocking herself out.

TIMESKIP

Roxy woke up a few hours later with a splitting headache.

"Ugggh wha?" Roxy said, sitting up and holding her head. Roxy stood looking around her surroundings. "Where the heck am I?"

"FINN! JAKE!" Roxy yelled, searching for her brothers.

Roxy started to make her way across the snow searching for Finn and Jake.

"What is that?" Roxy questioned

After a while she came upon a structure that looked like some ice mountains with the one in the middle having a face. Roxy's curiosity got the better of her and she headed towards the mountain.

Roxy climbed up the mountain and finally made her way inside.

Roxy looked around exploring the structure. "Wow. This place is really cool." She walked through various hallways searching the place. She loved the beauty of the ice cave and was in complete awe of the place.

*Sniffling*

"Uh? Sounds like crying?" Roxy questioned

Roxy headed towards the cryinging. She saw a doorway and headed towards it. Once she entered the room she saw someone curled up on the floor. Before she could make her way to the figure she is stopped by a smaller figure.

"Wenk wenk." Something said.

Roxy looked down to see a-

"Penguin?"

"Wenk wenk." The penguin said, waving his arms around at Roxy.

"Gunther be qutie. I'm trying to sob." The man said, not looking up and waving his hand in the direction of the two.

Roxy found the little guy to be quite cute. She bent down and started to pet Gunther. He seemed to enjoy the affection and leaned in further to Roxy.

"Wenk wenk." Gunther jumped up into Roxy's arms making himself comfortable. "Wenk wenk."

"Gunther what did I sa-" The man on the floor got up and turned to face the two.

Roxy noticed that the man seemed to be older than she thought due to his long white beard that hit the ground. His skin was a pale blue and he wore a yellow crown with red jewels.

He seemed to be staring at Roxy with an amazed face. "A princess has come to see me." He said, making his way towards Roxy.

Roxy looked around the room but she saw no one else. "Who me?"

"Of course my princess," He held his hands out beckoning Roxy, "Now come to the Ice King so we can get married." He reached out to grab Roxy who quickly ducked out the Ice King's reach.

"Woah! Not happening." Roxy said

The Ice King attempted to grab Roxy a few more times but she easily dodged him with Gunther still in her arms. The Ice King started to grow frustrated with Roxy being unable to grab her.

"Come to me my princess!" Ice King said, using his beard to float off the ground.

" _What the bonk! He can fly!"_ Roxy thought

Suddenly his hands started to glow and he shot out ice from his hands. Roxy dodged the attack, unfortunately one of her feet didn't escape the attack and was frozen solid.

" _He can make ice too!"_ She screamed in her mind. "Ohhh." A light bulb went off in Roxy's head. "That's why he called himself Ice King-aahhh!" Roxy's mumbling was cut off by the Ice King who shot more ice at her.

"Get back here princess!" the Ice King yelled.

"NEVER!" Roxy yelled, running away from him, with Gunter still snuggled in her arms.

Roxy continued to run around the ice room but was soon cornered by Ice King.

"Now I've got you my princess."

Roxy quickly looked around not finding anyway out. She looked down at her iced foot and came up with an idea.

Roxy charged straight at Ice King, "Not a princess!" Roxy screamed, she used her foot that was encased within ice and kicked the Ice King across his head. Roxy's kicks were already extremely strong but backed up behind the strength of the ice she was able to knock the Ice King to the other side of the room.

"Woooo that was close. Isn't that right Gunther?" Roxy said, holding up Gunther to her face.

"Wenk wenk." Gunther said, excitedly.

"Now to fin... are you crying?" Roxy asked

The Ice King was in the fetal position crying. "Why won't any princess love me."

"Uhhhhhh….." Roxy became extremely uncomfortable with the situation.

She slowly made her way to the Ice King. "Uhhhhh?"

She slowly approached the Ice King and sat down next to him.

"Waaaaaaa!" The Ice King cried.

"Uh?" Roxy shifted Gunter into one of her arms and placed her other hand on the back of the Ice King and patted his back. "There there."

The Ice King's cry's started to quite down to a whimper.

"Look I'm sorry for ice drop kicking you." Roxy said

The Ice King suddenly stopped crying and faced Roxy, "So you'll marry me!"

"NO!" Roxy yelled, jumping back from the Ice King.

The Ice King got a sad look on his face and it looked like he was about to start crying again, freaking Roxy out.

"Look dude, I'm not even a princess." Roxy said

"Wha?" Ice King asked

"I'm not a princess. I'm just Roxy. Roxy the human girl." Rox told him.

"A human huh?" Ice King pondered, placing his hand on his chin. "Oh like Finn!" He said, happily.

" _Woooow he sure flips his switch quickly."_ Roxy thought " _Ahhh I get it he's just some nut job with powers."_

"Yeeeaaahhh. Like Finn." Roxy said

"If your like Finn. Then you're her to steal my princess!" The Ice King yelled, angrily raising his now glowing hands.

Roxy unfazed by this replies, "What princess?"

The Ice King stops, "Oh right." He sits down next to Roxy with a solemn look on his face.

The three of them sit silence.

Roxy growing uncomfortable by silence tries to start up a conversation. "Sooooo….you live here by yourself."

"Yeah," Ice King puts his chin in hands, "Well me and the penguins. Isn't that right Gunther." He said patting Gunther on the head.

"No friends either?" Roxy asked

"No." Ice King replied

" _Know wonder why he keeps trying to kidnap princess he's just lonely." Roxy thought_

"Ahhh I know I might regett this but how about I you know be your friend." Roxy said, with uncertainty.

The Ice King suddenly had a large smile on his face and squealed like a little girl. "Really! You'll be my friend."

"Ugh yeah." Roxy said

"Whoopie!" Ice King shouted, getting up and doing a little dance.

Once his dance was over Ice King laid on his stomach in front of Roxy with his chin in his hands and his legs up in the air.

"Sooo tell me about yourself frieeennnddd." Ice King said, stretching out the word friend.

"Well there's not much to tell I don't know my past." Roxy said

"Wha? Don't know your past?" Ice King asked

"Yeah. I kinda fell out of some swirling portal in the Candy Kingdom one day." Roxy explained

"So you don't remember anything. Home?" Ice King asked

"Nope." Roxy said

"Friends?" Ice King asked

"No." Roxy said

"Family?" Ice King questioned

"Nothing I can remember," Roxy looked at Ice King then down at Gunther and started to pet him. "I guess I'm not that sad because I've made myself a new home and found new friends. I even found myself a new family." Roxy gave Ice King a smile. "Although I kinda wish I did know where I came from especially who my parents were. They must of known what happened to me."

Ice King stared at Roxy with a blank look but then a smile popped onto his face. "I've got it!" He said, snapping his fingers.

"Got what?" Roxy asked, looking at him.

"I shall be your new father!" Ice King said happily.

"Wait what!?" Roxy questioned

"Hahaha! Now come and give your Ice daddy a hug!" Ice King said holding his hands out.

"What the bonk man!" Roxy said, backing up from the Ice King.

Ice King ignored Roxy's shouting and went in for a hug. "Come to papa my little diamond."

Roxy held up Gunther like a shield, "Gunther defend!"

Instead of defending her Gunther turned around and wrapped his flippers around her for a hug, making it easier for the Ice King to grab her in a hug.

"Awww man." Roxy said, in the Ice Kings arms.

Timeskip

"Sooooo are you gonna let me go?" Roxy asked

The Ice King had been hugging Roxy for about 20 minutes and showed no signs of stopping.

"Just a little longer." Ice King whispered

"Hey I've got-"

"ROXY! ROXY!"

"YO ROX! WHERE ARE YOU!"

Roxy was cut off by someone shouting her name in the distance.

"Huh?" Roxy attempts to turns her head the best she can towards the yelling voices.

"Finn and Jake." She said

"Look Ice King this has been fun and all but I've got to go." Roxy said

"No you can't leave papa!" Ice King said, hugging Roxy tighter.

"Ugghhh tooo much loove." Roxy said, suffocating under the Ice King's hug.

"I've got to get back home." Roxy said, struggling.

Roxy kept trying to get out of the Ice King's grip but he would not let up.

Roxy sighs giving up. "Alright. If you let me go I promise to visit you *glup* Papa." Roxy said

"Ahhhhhh!" Ice King shouted, extremely happy with Roxy calling him papa. "That's right I'm your papa." He swung Roxy around.

"Look...papa. I've got to go home to Finn and Jake, but I'll visit you whenever I can oaky." Roxy said

Ice King let go of Roxy with a happy smile and patted her head. "Alright my little diamond."

Roxy finally relieved to be let go set down Gunther and gave him a few goodbye pets. "Bye Gunther," She leans down into him, "Keep an eye on him." She whispers to him.

Roxy heads towards the window and turns around to Ice King. She decided that someone like him just needs a little compassion so against her better judgement she gives him what he wants.

"Goodbye Papa." Roxy said, waving at the Ice King. She hops out the window and slides down the side of the ice mountain.

The Ice King sticks his head outside the window and waves happily at Roxy. "Bye my little diamond! Papa will see you soon! HAHAHAHAH!"

Timeskip

Roxy follows the yelling of her name and finally spots a giant yellow dog.

"JAKE! FINN!" Roxy yelled

Jake turns around and see's Roxy.

"Roxy!" Jake yells, running towards her.

Roxy runs towards him and they meet in the middle. Roxy hugs Jake's giant leg.

"Roxy we missed you!" Jake said

Jake picks up Roxy and puts her on his back. Roxy is greeted by Finn and some princess.

"Roxy you're okay." Finn said

"Yeah I'm perfectly fine I had a little run in with the Ice King but other than that I'm cool." Roxy said

"The Ice King!" Everyone shouted

"Did he hurt you?"

"Did he put you in his dungeon?"

"Did he try to play games with you?"

Roxy was bombarded with questions.

"Woah woah everyone it's okay. I could easily handle him." Roxy said

"That's a relief. The Ice King is a BIG nerd." Jake said, making everyone laugh.

"Now Finn why don't you introduce me to your new friends." Roxy said, raising an eyebrow and elbowing him.

"Ahaha." Finn laughed, awkwardly.

Slime princess went up to Finn and grabbed his attention. Finn picks her up to hold her at eye level.

"Finn remember when you vowed to marry us to the thing of our choosing?" Slime Princess asked

"Yeah…" Finn questioned

Slime Princess blushes, "Well, I'd like to marry you."

"Ooooh!" Everyone said

Finn blushes too and awkwardly spurts out, "Oh, heh heh, well how 'bout that…" Finn whispers down to Jake, "Help me!"

"Oh, eh... Slime Princess, you shouldn't marry Finn. He pees his pants constantly. All the time." Jake said

"Ewww!" All the Princess said in disgust.

"AHAHAHAHAHAH!" Roxy falls down laughing.

Slime Princess freaks out, "Oh, gross! Put me down! Put me down!"

"Heh heh, I'm sorry." Finn said putting her down, "Jake!" He yelled at his friend, "And it's not funny Roxy!"

"HAHAHAHAHAH!" Roxy continues to laugh as Jake continues to walk away from the Ice Kingdom.

END


	5. Tree Trunks

**Tree Trunks**

 _Tree house_

*YAWN*

"Good Morning Finn and Jake." Roxy said, waking up and stretching her arms.

Roxy was really getting accustomed to her new home in the tree house. Finn and Jake had built her the perfect bed, well not exactly a bed. The boys had hung up a large hammock and stuffed it with numerous pillows to make it as comfy as possible. Roxy was a little hesitant at first to sleep so high off the ground. Since she didn't know anything about her past she didn't know anything about her sleeping habits and was scared she might roll off at night and wonk her face up. But as soon she laid in her new bed she loved it.

Finn and Jake both woke up to the sound of Roxy's morning greeting.

Finn jumped right out of bed performing a flip landing right in front of the window getting the perfect view of the sun just rising. Roxy having just as much energy as Finn swings her hammock back and forth then uses it to propel herself to the opposite wall above Jake's bed. Once her feet makes contact with the wall she pushes off to backflip and lands right next to Finn.

"Wow that's some sight." Roxy said, as she watched the sunset with Finn.

Jake not having as much energy as the two humans woke up stretching his arms, a clear popping noise can be heard as he cracked his back.

"Ahhhhh morning guys." Jake said, stretching and scratching his back.

"Finn, Jake, it's the perfect day." Roxy said

"Roxy's right Jake it is the perfect day. The perfect day for…."

"Pie!" The two boys finished together.

"Off to Tree Trunks!" Roxy said

 _?_ _ﾟﾐﾘ_ _?_ _ﾟﾐﾘ_ _?Treetrunks House ?_ _ﾟﾐﾘ_ _?_ _ﾟﾐﾘ_ _?_

Once the trio had arrived at Tree Trunks they immediately asked for one of her perfect apple pies, and she was happy to oblige.

Right now the Finn, Jake, and Roxy were outside Tree Trunks house cutting apples.

"Hey Finn. Jake. Look." Roxy said, getting the boys attention.

Roxy was currently balancing 4 apples on head with a basket in her hand.

"Wow cool Roxy." Finn said

"That's not all." She said

Roxy bent her knees and started to count down, "1. 2. 3!" She let the apples drop off of her head and kicked each one in the air.

As the apples started to come down she pulled out a small dagger and cut each apple into perfect slices and having them land in the basket she was holding.

"That was awesome Rox. But where'd you get the knife?" Jake asked

"My hair." Roxy stated

To prove her point Roxy cleaned off her dagger and stuck it in her super long hair.

"It's been growing like crazy, might as well get a good use out of it. But I'm thinking about putting it up in some sort of style." Roxy said

"You guys, stop horsing around with my apples!" Tree Trunks said, coming out of her house. Roxy, Finn, and Jake stop what they're doing, "Aw,Tree Trunks!"

"Now, come on over! I baked y'all an apple pie." Tree Trunks said

"Yeah, apple pie!" Finn yelled, happily.

"Whooo-hoo-hoo!" Jake cheered

"I'm gonna get my eat on!" Roxy said, with excitement.

Finn points at Roxy and Jake, "I'm gonna eat it all before you two even GET there!" Finn runs off towards Tree Trunks house laughing.

"Noooooo!" Jake said, shaking his fists and running after Finn.

"Never! I'm gonna get that pie!" Roxy yelled, running after the two laughing.

The three of them make into Tree Trunks house.

"Apple pie!" Finn shouted, reaching the door first.

Jake jumps in front of Finn blocking him, "Don't let him eat it all!"

Roxy jumps over both boys and blocks them both, "That's right cause I'm going to eat it all!"

Tree Trunks chuckles at their antics, "Now, you three sit down and behave yourselves. Oh!"

Tree Trunks happy mood is stopped when a fly lands on the pie she was about to serve.

Tree Trunks makes a horrified face, "Shoo, fly! Get off my apple pie! Huh! A fly landed on my pie. That's no good" She throws away the pie, "Bye-bye."

"Why are you throwing the pie away?" Finn asked

As soon Finn says that a bunch of flies swarm the now trashed pie causing them to groan in disgust.

"Flies wanted it, they can have it." Tree Trunks says, with a dramatic face.

Tree Trunks walks over to her over, "Anyways, don't y'all worry 'cause the new pie is coming in the wag of a lamb's tail."

"New pie?" Finn, Jake, and Roxy ask

Tree Trunks puts an oven mitt on her trunk and pulls out a fresh pie from the oven.

"Woohoo! Pie, yeah!" Finn cheered

"Yeah! Wowowowowo!" Jake said, fist pumping the air.

"Sa-weeet!" Roxy said

The three of them sit down at the table where Tree Trunks brings them the fresh apple pie.

"Here you are." Tree Trunks said

Finn marbles at the pie, "Wow."

"Come on, go ahead." Tree Trunks said, encouraging them to dig in.

"Don't mind if I do." Roxy said

She took a fork and took a chunk of pie stuffing it in her mouth. "Ah-hah so hot," Roxy waves her hands in front of her mouth, "but so good."

After Roxy's short display Finn and Jake both dig into the pie as well.

"What you think?" Tree Trunks asked

Jake stopped eating,"Best apple pie ever!" Jake said, with pie sauce smeared on his snout.

Tree Trunks gushes at the compliment, "Oh, Jake, thank you, but that ain't the _best_ apple pie."

Finn stops eating pie and looks up at Tree Trunks with pie sauce over his face too, "What are you talking about, Tree Trunks? What can be better than your apple pie?"

Jake looked down at the now empty pie dish, "You two ate all the pie…"

"Finn, Roxy, what would you do if you could do anything?" Tree Trunks asked

"Anything? Well, I'd catch a shooting star, travel to outer space and fight space monsters!" Finn said

"I'd want to find my parents oh and learn some cool secret technique that would help me destroy evil." Roxy said

"I'd carve my face on the moon so the moon would look like my face!" Jake said

"What would _you_ do, Tree Trunks?" Finn asked

"Yeah girl, tell us your dreams and aspirations." Roxy said

"I would go pick an apple." Tree Trunks simply said.

"...Lame." Jake said

Finn and Roxy simultaneously smack Jake upside the head. Jake rubs his head and grumbles under his breath as he picks up a cup of tea.

"I'm sorry. I mean, it's just you pick apples every day." Finn said

Tree Trunks gets a dazed look in her eyes, "This apple ain't like the apples that I pick. They say it's the apple of apple's; rarest kind of all. Legends call it the Crystal Gem Apple"

Jake spits out the cup of tea he was drinking soaking Finn and Roxy in tea and saliva.

"That sounds awesome!" Jake said

Roxy pulls out a handkerchief from her leg pouch and starts dabbing away at the tea on herself and Finn, "Yeah Tree Trunks, that's pretty cool."

"Where is it?" Finn questioned

"I've Heard that it grows at the deepest end of the Evil Dark Forest." Tree Trunks said

"Whoo! Tree Trunks you gotta go pick that apple!" Finn said, riling up Jake and Roxy.

"YEAH!" Jake yelled, excited.

"What? Me? Oh, no I'm just a cute little elephant. I'm not cut out for adventuring." Tree Trunks said, solemnly with a saddened smile.

"Tree Trunks if there's one thing I learned in Ooo is that when you have a dream you can't just wait around for it, you gotta go out and pursuit it, and kick every monsters butt on the way!" Roxy said

Finn slams a fist on the table, "Tree Trunks! This is your dream! Think about eating that apple with your own mouth."

"Or your trunk." Jake inputted

"Think of the delicious pie you could make with it." Roxy said

"Imagine the flavor." Finn said

"And you're satisfied face." Jake said

"Really? You think I can handle the Scary Dark Forest?" Tree Trunks asked

"Yeah, and we'll help you." Finn said

"We love you, Tree Trunks." Jake said

"We've got you girl." Roxy said

"Okay. I'll do it. Call me... Adventurer Tree Trunks." Tree Trunks said

"Whooooooo!" Roxy shouted, with excitement.

 _Adventure Time_

With an adventure planned and a picnic packed the group was ready to go.

The four had made their way to the creepy dangerous forest. The trees made Roxy feel like she was being watched. For some reason the trees looked like they had multiples mouths with several rows of teeth.

While Finn, Jake, and Tree Trunks were having their own conversation. Roxy was too busy watching the trees. She finely tuned into the conversation when she heard 'weak heart'.  
"What's this about a weak heart?" Roxy asked

"Tree Trunks she has a weak heart." Jake whispered to her.

"Huh?" Roxy asked, not completely understanding the conversation.

Jake was about to explain to her but stopped when he stepped in something.

"Wha-?

"Ewww, why is this ground all squishy?" Finn said, stepping into the pink gooey stuff too.

They continued to walk on the squishy ground.

"Whatever it is, I'm liking it. Oh, yeah!" Jake said, playing in the stuff.

"I wanna try!" Tree Trunks said, from the top of Finn's head.

Finn lifted Tree Trunks off his head, "Okay. I'm cool with you letting you do whatever you want."

Finn put Tree Trunks down and she started to play in the stuff too.

"Heeheehee! It's like some cookie dough!" Tree Trunks said, with laughter.

Tree Trunks fun was cut short when she heard deep breathing behind her. She turned around to be greeted by a giant eye.

"Oh, hello there." Tree Trunks said

Finn and Jake noticed Tree Trunks talking to someone else.

"Uhh, Tree Trunks, stay away from that." Finn said

As the two boys put their attention on Tree Trunks they failed to notice the wall of flesh rising behind them. The flesh grows two arms and a mouth, using one of its arms to attack Finn and Jake.

"Ugh, you're gonna get it, wall of flesh." Finn said.

Finn and Jake stand up and start punching the wall of flesh, but this seems to have no effect.

While the boys were fighting Tree Trunks was studying the strange monster.

"An eye and a mouth. Well, I think I got the perfect thing for him or her... stickers!" Tree Trunks said, pulling out a sheet of stickers, surprising the fleshy wall.

"Careful, Tree Trunks, this thing is evil." Finn shouted, while he continued to punch.  
Tree Trunks pulled out a rainbow sticker, "Here's a rainbow sticker, and here's a scratch-and-sniff sticker. Smells just like a pickle. Oh, and this one is a holographic unicorn, but it doesn't have a horn."

She continued to place stickers on the flesh monster that is until the monster picked her up.

"Oh, now, whatcha doing?" Tree Trunks questioned

Finn noticed Tree Trunks being picked up, "Huh? Tree Trunks!"

Finn drew his sword and attacked the monster just as it was about to drop Tree Trunks into its mouth. He chopped off its arm causing the monster to scream and retreat into a tree.

"You better stay in that tree, baby. Um, Tree Trunks were you putting stickers on that evil monster?" Finn asked

"Yes, I thought it needed some tender love and affection. Oh, what a pretty butterfly!" Tree Trunks said, getting distracted by a small skeleton with butterfly wings.

She follows the butterfly deeper into the forest.

"Tree Trunks? Ugh. Jake, I just realized that Tree Trunks is old and bonkers. We can't take her through this Evil Dark Forest." Finn said

"Nah, she'll be fine." Jake said, "Speaking of fine have you seen Roxy?"

Finn looked around him and didn't see her anywhere, "Where'd she go?"

"I don't know sh-"

Jake was cut off when they heard a rustle in the surrounding trees.

Finn pulled out his sword, "Jake get ready it might be another monster."

Finn and Jake got prepared to fight whatever came out from behind the tree's but were surprised when Roxy came out. Her eyes were wide and she waa breathing heavily. Her hair was messy and she was carrying her hammer.

"Woah what happened to you?" Jake asked

"The treeeeees." Roxy said

 _A few minutes earlier_

"Ewww, why is this ground all squishy?" Finn said

Roxy was about to step into the flesh monster but was grabbed and pulled into the trees and away from her friends.

Roxy was dragged deeper into the forest until whatever grabbed her stopped in front of a giant tree. Roxy was dropped in front of the giant tree and she could finally see what had dragged her away, it was branches.

"What the-?"

"Silence!"

"Okay, maybe I ate a bad pie, or that tree just talked." Roxy said

"Silence. You are the one!" The giant tree said

"Uh the one?" Roxy said

"The one who will replenish my children!" The tree said

"Children? You mean the trees? I mean I could get you guys some fresh water and fertil-"

"Silence!" The tree shouted

"You sure like that word a lot." Roxy said

"I said SILENCE! Your power will sustain my children and we will be able to grow a new and replenish this forest." The tree said

"Yeah I'm not getting you." Roxy said

"I will devour your flesh and bone, and absorb your power. Giving it to my children." The tree said

"Wait you're gonna eat me!" Roxy exclaimed

"Yes!" The tree said

"Riggggght," Roxy summons her hammer, "Not gonna happen."

"Get her!" The tree said

Hundreds of branches attack Roxy and she fights back taking them all out.

"You shall be come one with the forest!" The tree said

"How about you become one with my hammer!" Roxy shouted

She swung her hammer into the giant tree cracking it.

"AAAAGGGGHHHH!" The tree screamed

The branches stopped attacking Roxy and that's when she makes a break for it running back in the direction of Finn and Jake.

 _?_ _ﾟﾒﾎ_ _?_ _ﾟﾒﾎ_ _? Present ?_ _ﾟﾒﾎ_ _?_ _ﾟﾒﾎ_ _?_

"That's what happened." Roxy said

A tree branch slithered its way to Roxy's ankle but she steps on it without even looking.

"Good job." Jake said, giving her thumbs up.

"Thanks." Roxy said, "By the way where's Tree Trunks?"

"Tree Trunks!" Finn shouted, "We gotta find her! Tree Trunks!"

"Where are you, Tree Trunks?" Jake said

Tree Trunks was in a clearing setting up a picnic with the butterfly unaware that the signs posted around the forest came to life and were approaching her.

"And here's your teacup, and here's my teacup." Tree Trunks said

"Tree Trunks *GASP*" The three said, when they spotted Tree Trunks surrounded by the evil signs.

Tree Trunks offered one of the signs a sandwich, "And here's your sandwich." But the sign slapped it out of her trunk, "Oops, you dropped it."

"Tree Trunks, run!" Finn screamed

"Oh, hey, Finn." Tree Trunks said

This drew all of the evil signs attention to Finn, Jake, and Roxy.

Finn drew his sword and Roxy gripped her hammer ready to attack.

"Hiya! Time to call your mama's, evil signposts." Finn said

The three take out the sign posts with ease, like true adventurers.

A group of the signs got even closer to Tree Trunks.

"Patience, you guys. There's enough tea for everyone." Tree Trunks said

Finn ran in between Tree Trunks and the signs blocking their path to her.

"Errr…" Finn grunted, as he struggled against several signs.

Unfortunately more evil signs surrounded Tree Trunks and picked her up.

"NO!" Finn yelled, breaking free from the signs and grabbing Tree Trunks.

"Oh, Finn. What a nice hug." Tree Trunks said

As Finn held a tight grip onto Tree Trunks he used his body as a human shield which resulted in him getting all wonked up by the evil signs.

" Ag-I'm not-Ah-hugging you! I'm trying to-Aarg save your life! There's too many!" Finn yelled

Jake and Roxy notices Finn distress and comes to his rescue.

Jake runs toward Finn and wraps him in his body. He suddenly inflates himself causing an airbag like effect propelling the surrounding signs into trees, smashing them on impact.

Roxy used this distraction to take out the last of the sign posts. She gripped her hammer and started to spin around fast, "Roxy tornado crash!" Roxy spun like a tornado taking out the rest of the signs. She smashes through a group of trees giving Jake and exit to roll out taking Tree Trunks and Finn with him. Once they're in the clear Jake unfolds himself letting go of Tree Trunks and Finn.

"Oh, Finn. That tea party was crummier than a big old biscuit." Tree Trunks said

"Errrr. Tree Trunks, I'm all jacked up because of you. Look at my jacked up face!" Finn said, pointing at his swollen and bruised face.

"Yeah it's pretty bad." Roxy said, examining his wounds.

Tree Trunks eye's got big and you could see the sadness in them, "Are you mad at me?"

Finn let out a sigh, "No, I'm not mad," Finn brings Tree Trunks into a hug, "You're too super-cute for me to be mad at you, and you're a top notch adventurer. Now, let's go find and eat the heck out of that crystal gem apple together."

As soon as Finn finished talking a monster appeared out of the trees. It looked like it was made of multiple snakes and had crystals for eyes.

"Dang it!" Finn said

Jake leaned into Finn and Roxy, and whispered, "You go fight—Roxy and I will keep Tree Trunks out of trouble."

Finn handed Tree Trunks to Jake "Awesome." Finn said, drawing his sword and running after the monster.

The monster screeched at Finn who attacked it with his sword.

"J-Jake, Roxy, I think Finn is getting jacked up again." Tree Trunks said, with some concern.

"Yeah, Finn can handle it. He's 12." Jake said

"I think I know a way to help him out." Tree Trunks said

"Uhh, you should stay here, Tree Trunks. I'll go help him." Roxy said, summoning her hammer and joining Finn.

"I thought Finn told me that I was a top notch adventurer. And my adventurer instincts tell me to seduce that tentacle critter with my womanly charms and elephant prowess." Tree Trunks said

"Uhh, no way." Jake said

Finn and Roxy were having a little trouble with the monster since the snake heads kept biting them and blocking their attacks.

Suddenly Tree Trunks appeared dolled up in makeup and started dancing in front of the monster.

"Whaaaaaaaa?" Roxy said, raising an eyebrow.

"Uh, what are you doing here, Tree Trunks?" Finn said, blocking some snakes.

"I'm helping you two by tempting this guy with my body." Tree Trunks said

"It's not a guy, Tree Trunks! It's a Snake Armed Ruby Brain Beast!" Finn shouted

"Even brain beasts get lonely, Finn!" Tree Trunks said, as she continued to dance.

"Jake! You were supposed to watch her!" Roxy said

Jake was laid up on the ground covered in kiss marks, "She got passed me, man. I tried to stop her, but she overpowered me."

"GET her out of here!" Finn yelled

"Huh?" Jake said, turning around. He noticed the danger Tree Trunks was in and ran to help.

Jake grabs the snake arms that were about to attack Tree Trunks.

"You guys, kill it!" Jake yelled

"We can't find it's magic gem weak spot!" Finn yelled

Roxy rolled under the monster trying to dodge the snakes and saw the giant gem on its back.

"Oh Haha, there it is." Roxy said, spotting the giant red gem. "Batter up!" Roxy said, swinging at the gem and smashing it.

The monster exploded into a red dust.

"Hahah, I did it! I helped! I'm the sexiest adventurer in the world!" Tree Trunks said

"Tree Trunks! You're not an adventurer! You nearly got yourself killed again! Do you wanna die, Tree Trunks?! Is that what you think adventurers do?! Die and make all their friends feel terrible 'cause they couldn't save them?!" Finn yelled

"Wow." Roxy said

Tree Trunks started crying making her makeup run down her face.

"Whoa, man." Jake said

"I'm- I'm going home now." Tree Trunks said, turning away.

Roxy puts her hand out to the sad little elephant but pulls back with a forlorn look.

"Ugh... Tree Trunks. Tree Trunks!" Finn called out to her.

"Don't follow me." Tree Trunks said, walking away and still crying.

Roxy lifts her hand up and slaps Finn on the back of the head.

"OH! That hurt!" Finn said

"Good, it was supposed to. You were too hard on her Finn." Roxy said

Finn sat on the ground with a sad look.

"Man, I feel horrible. I was only yelling because I care about her safety." Finn said

Jake tried to balance Finn's sword on his nose to lighten up the atmosphere.

"That's what happens when you care too much, dude." Jake said

"OH!"

Roxy and Finn look up hearing the voice of Tree Trunks yell out.

All three of them run further into the forest calling after the yellow elephant.

"Woah." Roxy said, when they stopped.

Finn and Jake follow behind Roxy and stop right behind her and gasp.

In front of them was not only Tree Trunks but a tree growing out of a crystal ground with one single gem apple.

"You guys, I found the crystal gem apple." Tree Trunks said, with a smile.

The three of them stepped up to the crystal patch on the ground, but something strange happened when Roxy's foot made contact with the ground. The bell on her necklace collar started to glow slightly and then it stopped just as fast as it started.

"Weird." Roxy said, to herself.

"Woohoo!" Finn cheered

Roxy walked up to Tree Trunks holding out her hand, "Good job girlfriend!" Roxy said, giving Tree Trunks a high five.

"You're the man, Tree Trunks!" Jake said

"Tree Trunks, I'm a huge butt guy for getting mad at you. I'm a huge fart. I was only upset because... I love you and I don't wanna see you get hurt." Finn said, apologetically.

"That's precious, Finn, and I'll accept your apology if you let me kiss your cheek." Tree Trunks said

"Ohhh spicy." Roxy said

Finn grew uncomfortable, "Uhhhh, I don't know, I-"

"Whoa! Let her kiss your cheek, man. It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity." Jake said

"Whoa! Let her kiss your cheek, man. It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity." A strange warped voice said.

The group looked up to see some type of Crystal Guardian that had both Finn and Jake's face and was mimicking the two.

"Uhhhh, I don't know…" The Crystal Guardian said

"A Crystal Guardian! Tree Trunks, stay out of the monster battle this time. I don't want you getting hurt." Finn said

"Alright, I promise I will." Tree Trunks said

"I'll stay with you Tree Trunks." Roxy said

"Radical!" Finn turned to the Crystal Guadian, "Back off you!"

"Back off you!" Crystal Guardian Finn yelled.

"Stop copying me!" Finn raised his fist, "Grrah!" Finn yelled as he ran at The Crystal Guardian.

The Crystal Guardian copied Finn and ran after him with the same punch, "Stop copying me! Grrah!"

Thier fist collide but The Crystal Guardians crystal hand was too tough for Finn.

Roxy winced at the collision, "Oh that's gotta hurt."

"Ahhhh! A-a-oww.." Finn yelled, pulling back his red hand.

"Finn! Graw!" Jake yelled

Jake stretched himself over to the Crystal Guardian, unfortunately the Crystal Guardian did the same thing.

"Graw!" The Crystal Guardian mimicked, stretching itself the same as Jake.

The two collide head on knocking Jake back and giving him a massive headache.

"Ow! Ow." Jake yelled, pulling back.

"He's copying everything we do." Finn said

Tree Trunks and Roxy had sat down and were playing with mushroom's until the butterfly skeleton reappeared.

"Hey! It's my butterfly friend. That's precious." Tree Trunks said

"Aww and it's got a teeny tiny keyboard." Roxy said

The butterfly skeleton started to play its keyboard and Tree Trunks started to dance. Roxy shrugged her shoulders and decided to join Tree Trunks. As the two danced more butterfly skeleton's with instruments joined creating a mini band.

"Whoo! Shake it, Tree Trunks! Roxy!" Jake said

"Whoo! Shake it, Tree Trunks! Roxy!" Crystal Guardian Jake said

The Crystal Guardian turned into both Roxy and Tree Trunks, and then started dancing like the two. Roxy saw the hybrid the Crystal Guardian made of them and didn't seem to enjoy it.

"Hey don't mash us up!" Roxy screamed

The Crystal Guardian suddenly separated itself into a Crystal Roxy and Crystal Tree Trunks as if it was following Roxy's command.

"Wha-?"

Roxy was the only one really seemed to notice this change.

"Gem-clam! Let's beat it up while it's copying Tree Trunks and Roxy! Yaah!" Finn said

Finn and Jake run towards the Crystal Guardian with an attack but it was easily mimicked back at them knocking them across the ground.

"Crud, this is barf dude." Jake said

"Oh, man, I'm a total moron! We gotta fight this one Tree Trunks style." Finn said

"I'll get the makeup." Jake said

? ﾟﾒﾄ? ﾟﾒﾄ? ﾟﾒﾄ? ﾟﾒﾄ? ﾟﾒﾄ? ﾟﾒﾄ? ﾟﾒﾄ? ﾟﾒﾄ? ﾟﾒﾄ? ﾟﾒﾄ? ﾟﾒﾄ

The boys left and came back wearing some horribly done makeup. Once Roxy saw the two she fell to the ground laughing.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I-I can't...breathe!" Roxy said, laughing.

The Crystal Roxy that was still separate from the crystal mashup of Tree Trunks, Jake, and Finn, and joined the teen in her laughing.

Finn and Jake did some weird dance adding on to Roxy's laughter. They picked up Tree Trunks and Jake stretched them up to the crystal apple.

"Hey! Crystal Guardian, are you okay with Tree Trunks taking a bite of that apple?" Finn asked

"I'm okay with it." Jake said

"I'm okay with it." Crystal Guardian Jake mimicked.

"And I'm stupid." Jake said

Crystal Guardian Jake mimicked this too, "And I'm stupid."

"Heh-heh, you heard the guardian, Tree Trunks. Bite that thing." Jake said

Jake lifted Tree Trunks up to the apple.

"Okay!" Tree Trunks said, before she took a bite of the apple.

"Whoo! How's it taste, Tree Trunks?" Finn asked

"Yeah! How is it?" Jake asked

Tree Trunks got a funny look on her face and then suddenly explodes, leaving Finn, Jake, and the Crystal Guardian shocked. Roxy stopped laughing and had a horrified look on her face.

"No-no-no way!" Roxy yelled, in disbelief and anger.

She summoned her hammer and ran at the Crystal Guardian. The Crystal Guardian just stood there and Roxy smashed it into to pieces. She turned to the Crystal Guardian version of herself and charged at it.

"I hate this forest!" Roxy yelled, smashing the last Crystal Guardian.

Roxy huffs out in anger and puts back her hammer.

"Let's….Let's just go home." Roxy said, sadly.

The three leave the evil forest thinking about the poor little yellow elephant.


	6. The Enchiridion

**The Enchiridion**

Roxy was having the time of her life right now. The Candy Kingdom was throwing an awesome party and Roxy was the DJ.

"Candy Party! Jake! This party is so crazy!" Finn said  
"I know, Finn! I know! Hahaha!" Jake said

"DJ Roxy is here to pump up the tunes. I'm playing music from the past, present, and future!" Roxy said into her microphone.  
"So, Finn... Do you have a girlfriend?" A Pink Gumdrop said  
"Oh, my gosh! I can't believe you just said that." A Blue Gumdrop said pushing her friend slightly.  
Cinnamon Bun was standing by himself by one of the castle walls and was attempting to pump himself up, "Okay. I'm gonna do it. Okay-okay-okay. Everyone watch! I'm gonna do a flip!"  
Cinnamon Bun bends his knees and jumps but stumbles backwards and hits his head on a tower wall, cracking it.  
The crack travels upwards the tower wall and to the balcony where Princess Bubblegum was dancing. Once the crack reaches the balcony it breaks sending Princess Bubblegum falling from the tower.

Roxy cut the music short when she heard the Princess falling and every stopped dancing and looked up.  
"Princess Bubblegum's in trouble!" Finn yelled  
Finn dives towards Bubblegum and catches her in his arms just before she hits the ground.  
The Candy People worried for their Princess safety murmur and whisper.  
Princess Bubblegum gets out of Finn's arms and dust herself off, "Please! Calm yourselves, my people. I am safe! Oh, thank you, Finn. You truly are my hero this day."  
"Cool." Finn said  
Princess Bubblegum gets a pondering look on her face, "Hero... Hmmm... Heeeeerroooo... Hey, I just thought of something!"  
"Uhh... What'd you think of?" Finn asked  
"I'll show you. Come on! We'll go through my secret entrance," Princess Bubblegum turns to the Candy People, "Alright, everyone. Turn around."  
The Candy People just stare blankly at Princess Bubblegum not understanding.  
"Well, turn around. This entrance is secret." PB said  
"Oh." They said  
Everyone turns around including Jake who was in the crowd. Roxy who was still at the booth closes her eyes and puts her hands over them.  
Princess Bubblegum pulls a brick in the wall and opens a secret hole, "Math. Hurry, Finn!"  
"Haha, No way!" Finn said  
Princess Bubblegum and Finn both dive into the hole in the wall leaving everyone else alone.

After a few minutes Roxy uncovers her eyes.

"Hey everyone you can look now." Roxy said

The Candy People turn back around but seem a little lost on what to do now.

"Finn saved Princess Bubblegum let's' party!" Roxy said starting the music up again.

All of the Candy People start to cheer and dance again. After a few minutes Roxy see's Finn jump out of the window in the tower. She takes off her headphones and hands them to Lady Rainicorn.

"Okay, Lady you're up." Roxy said

She runs over to where Finn was falling and see's Jake catch him. She runs next to Jake and gives a whistle, he picks her up too and starts running.  
"You know what time it is, you guys?" Finn asked  
"Aaaaadventure time?" Jake and Roxy asked  
"Yeah, man!" Finn said

All three of them fist bump as they continue their journey.

* * *

 **Finn, Roxy, and Jake arrive at their destination which was a gate in a wall surrounding Mount Cragdor.  
** **"** **Greetings, young heroes to be. This mountain is called Cragdor. Its purpose is two-fold: To protect the Enchiridion and to test the hearts of those who seek to possess it. Many noble challengers have entered the temple to pass the grueling trials that lie behind these walls, but no one has ever left here alive or dead! Only the truest most worthy hero can receive the heroes' Enchiridion and walk out these doors again! If it is you, friend, Hehe and I cannot say that I am certain, but you are verily welcome to try; However, first you must pass my riddle. My name is Key-per, and duly so, for I carry the key to this door, but all is not how it appears, you see. Or perhaps you do not see at all. Hehe, Perhaps the key is in you, child, but you cannot use your brawn here. The door is magically sealed." The** **Key-per** **said**

The little guy was talking so fast that Roxy's head was starting to spin. Luckily the Key-per was cut off when Finn picked him up and shoves his head into the key-hole and turns him.  
"Oh ho! You've unlocked the riddle of the door. Hahah Brilliantly done, child! Please, reveal to me how you unraveled my clue." Key-per said  
"I just thought you'd look cute stuffed in that lock." Finn said  
"Oh, yes. That's how most people get in." Key-per said  
Finn, Jake, and Roxy walk into the gate waving bye to Key-per.  
You've passed the first trial, young heroes, but prepare yourselves! For there are many trials ahead of you, and each trial is more treacherous than the last."

* * *

 **Jake sniffs the air, "Enchiridion is... That way."  
** **"** **What?! Dude! You can't smell the book from here!" Finn said**

"No way dude." Roxy said  
"It's in the castle on top of the mountain. *Sniff* In a room," Jake taps his nose, "Wish you two had one, huh?"  
Finn stops walking when he hears voices yelling for help.  
"This way!" Finn said running into the forest.  
"What about the book?" Jake asked  
"It can wait. Someone needs our help." Roxy said following Finn.  
Finn jumps over some brambles and lands on his face. Roxy does the same thing but lands in a crouched position next to Finn. "Haha-argh!"

Roxy was too busy laughing in triumph that she didn't fall on her face that she failed to notice her foot get caught on a vine and fell flat on her face.  
"Yo, Finn, Rox. Are you guys alright? Did you get brain damage?" Jake asked  
"I'm fine! Keep going! We have to hurry!" Finn said getting up and running after the yells for help.

Jake helps Roxy untangle her foot and they both follow after Finn.  
The three come up on three gnomes trapped in a boiling lava pit. Finn reaches in and pulls them out.  
"I gotcha." Finn said  
The Gnomes fly up in the air, "Thank you for saving us."

The Gnomes seem friendly at first but their happy smiles turn into menacing ones, "Now we can destroy this old lady!"  
The gnomes fly towards an old lady who is tied to a stake. She was singing to herself blissfully unaware of the impending danger.  
"What?!" Finn screamed  
The gnomes zap the old lady with magic and she disappears in a cloud of smoke.

"Ah fudge!" Roxy screams  
"Every time you say "what" we'll destroy an old lady."  
"What?!" Finn screams  
The gnomes zap another old lady and she disappears too.  
"Every time you say "no" we'll destroy an old lady."  
"No! Wai…" Finn said panicking.  
The gnomes zap three more old ladies.  
"Please…" Finn said  
The Red Gnome zaps an old lady.  
"Don't destroy…" Finn said desperately.  
The Orange Gnome zaps an old lady.  
"Anymore…" Finn said  
The Blue Gnome zaps an old lady.  
"Old women." Finn said with his face showing his desperation.  
"Every time you look sad we'll destroy a big old woman!"  
The Gnomes show a big old woman and without missing a beat they zap her.  
"Hey, guys. Every time he's a big wuss, let's destroy an old lady."  
"Yeah!"  
Finn runs off.

"Okay I've had it! Back off!" Roxy said

"Yeah! Back off, you gnomes! That kid just saved you guys! You should thank him, not destroy old ladies! Do you even know what I'm talking about? Say thank you! Say... Thank... You." Jake said  
"Kill them!" One of the gnomes said.  
The gnomes try zapping Jake and Roxy with magic, but they easily dodge the attacks.

"Jake catch!" Roxy yelled

Roxy jumps up and kicks the three gnomes like soccer balls to Jake. Jake twists his body and grabs the gnomes.  
Jake shoves the gnomes back into the lava pit.

"Gooooaaaallll!" Roxy yelled high fiving Jake.  
Jake and Roxy walk towards where Finn ran off to as the gnomes scream for help.  
"Hey, Finn. You okay?" Jake asked  
"No way, dude. Those old ladies are destroyed because of me. I'm not righteous. I'm wrongteous. Stupidteous." Finn said sad.  
"Awww. Don't let those gnomes and their illusions get you down. They're just gnomes and illusions." Roxy said throwing an arm over Finn's shoulder.  
"Illusions?" Finn questioned  
"Yeah, man. Think. What would regular, old, sweet ladies be doing wandering the hills of Mount Cragdor?" Jake said  
"Maybe they're lost?" Finn said  
"No way. This place is designed to mess you up." Jake said

"Yeah, Finn this place messes with your head. None of this is real. It's all just trials to test your heroic attributes." Roxy said  
"Hmmm... Hmmm!" Finn said understanding.  
"Now let's go get that book." Jake said  
"Yeah! You guys are the smartest." Finn said laughing.  
Jake and Roxy join Finn in his laughter but their joy is cut short when Jake is eaten by a giant.  
"Jaaaaaaaake!" Finn and Roxy yell.  
"You cannot pass!" The Giant said  
"Gimme back my friend!" Finn yelled

"You spit him out right now!" Roxy yelled  
"No!" The giant screamed  
Jake popped out of the giants nose, "It's ok, you guys! I can get out!"  
The giant reacts by shoving his finger up his nose pushing Jake back inside.  
"Let Jake go, or I'll…" Finn runs to the giant's foot, "I'll kick your foot!"

"Me too!" Roxy said joining Finn.  
"Hahah It is impossible for you to hurt me!" The giant laughed  
Jake popped out of the giant's ear, "Don't worry! I found another way—oof!"  
The giant stopped Jake by putting a finger in his ear forcing the yellow dog back into his body.  
Finn and Roxy start climbing up the giant's leg.

"I'm coming, buddy!" Finn yelled  
The giant gives off a large burp, "I think your dog finally fell into my stomach. Hey... Where'd you go?"

Finn and Roxy had climbed to the back of the giants pants and pulled out his wallet.  
"We got your wallet, man!" Finn said  
Roxy grabs a giant dollar out of the wallet. Finn and Roxy fold the opposite edges of the dollar and glides away on it like a hang-glider.  
"No! My big money! Give it back!" The giant said running after the two.  
"Give us back our friend!" Finn yelled  
"But I killed him already!" The giant yelled  
Finn starts to tear up, "Fine. We'll give you your dollar."

Roxy guides the dollar towards the giant and her and Finn dive bomb, "Here's your dollaaaaaarrrrr!"  
They glide back towards the giant and does a flying kick into the giant's stomach making him vomit. As the vomit flows out of his mouth Jake comes running out on the stream.  
"Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa-oa!" Jake said  
Finn and Roxy glide on the dollar towards Jake and grab him by his feet, "Jake!" Roxy said

"You're okay!" Finn said  
"Hahah, Stomachs are weird." Jake said  
The three of them land at the entrance of the castle on the top of the mountain.  
"Dude! We just flew us all the way to the top! Wait a minute. *Sniff* I can smell the book right through this door." Jake said  
The three look back over at the giant when they hear crying, "You're under arrest for stealing my dollar!"  
"Just a minute, you guys." Finn said  
Finn folds the dollar into a paper airplane and launches it towards the giant.  
The giant catches the dollar and laughs happily.  
"You know what that was? That was righteous." Jake said

"Yeah man. A real hero act." Roxy said  
"Thanks, Jake, Roxy. Now Jake sniff out that book for me." Finn said  
"You got it!" Jake said  
Finn picks up Jake using him like a dowsing rod and walks into the castle followed by Roxy.  
They walk into a long hallway with arms holding knives sticking out from the pillars.  
"Whoa!" Finn said

A dark figure appears in the room and Finn zonks out.

"Huh Finn? Hell? Yohoo?" Roxy said snapping her fingers in front of Finn's face. Roxy looks over at Jake who just shrugs his shoulders at Finn's weird behavior.

Roxy looks over at the dark figure. "What did you do to Finn?"

When Roxy finishes talking Finn wakes up screaming never and kicks the magician, making him explode.  
The door at the end of hallway opens and the Key-per appears wearing a fuzzy little devil suit.  
"Congratulations, Finn the human. Now you have truly reached…" The Key-per is cut off by a yelling Finn.

"Never!" Finn screamed  
Finn runs up and punches Key-per in the stomach making him fall and knocking his hood off.  
"Oh, no! Mr. Key-per! I-I'm sorry. Why are you wearing that little devil costume?" Finn yelled as Roxy helped the little guy up.  
"These are my pajamas. I was getting ready for bed." Key-per said  
Suddenly a minotaur runs in the room, "Finn... Jake… Roxy... You made it!"  
" Are you another trial?" Finn asked  
"Trial? Oh, no! Hahaha, I'm Mannish Man, the minotaur." Mannish Man said  
"The manly minotaur from Princess Bubblegum's story! So, can I check out the Enchiridion? Can I? Can I? Can I?" Finn said  
"Yeah. Come on. Let's go check it out. Woohoo!" Mannish Man said  
All of them walk outside to a picnic area where the old woman from before were eating.  
"We've been watching you guys on our magical viewing globe. Take a seat, have some juice. There's grape and apple and the gatekeeper made spaghetti. And... Alright, Finn. Are you ready for this?" Mannish Man said  
Mannish Man pulls out the Enchiridion and makes a small explosion noise with his mouth making Roxy giggle at his behavior.  
"The Enchiridion!" Finn yelled  
"You deserve it, Finn." Mannish Man said  
"Really?" Finn asked  
"Yeah, Finn. You're the goodest of heart and most righteous hero I've seen here. Tenderness, ingenuity, bravery, nard-kicking ability, and when you took that giant ogre's dollar... Hahah, Oh, man! The Key-per nearly fainted!" Mannish Man said  
"It's true!" Key-per said  
"Hahah, Hey! Crack open that book and read something for fun's sake, alright?" Jake said

"Yeah open up that bad boy." Roxy said  
"Oh, yeah." Finn opens the book, "Whoa. How to Kiss Princesses? Haha."  
"Whoa. What'd you just read?" Jake said  
Princess Bubblegum suddenly appears on the magical viewing globe, "Yeah. What does it say, Finn? Mannish Man won't tell me."  
Mannish Man whispers to Finn, "Hey. Don't tell her, Finn."  
"It doesn't say anything, Princess." Finn said  
"Mannish man!" Princess Bubblegum said


	7. The Jiggler

**The Jiggler**

"Raaaaarghhh!"

This was the noise that Roxy made when she was running out of a burning building holding two cantaloupes under one arm and a basket full of kiwis under the other.

She continued to run through a burning city and followed Finn and Jake out of the inferno.

The three of them walked into the forest covered in soot.  
Finn was singing as they walked but his voice sounded like it had been autotuned.

/QMlBon2LmQo

"Hey, how can you sing like that, dude?" Jake asked  
"Remember when I swallowed that little computer?" Finn asked  
"Oh Yeah," Jake and Roxy said with realization.

The three of them had arrived at a small house where they dropped off the fruit and meat they rescued from the burning city.

"Alright, Stanley. You and your family are safe, Again…" Finn said  
"Seriously, Stanley. For a watermelon you get into trouble way more often than you should," Jake said

Roxy bent down to the two cantaloupe twins, "Keep an eye on Stanley."  
Finn, Jake, and Roxy were now walking across the Grasslands and Jake was whistling. As they continued to walk they heard a second whistling.

"Cool Jake, how can you harmonize with yourself?" Roxy asked

"I can't," Jake said

Suddenly the bushes next to them started to rustle and a black and white creature rolled out knocking Jake off of his feet.  
"W-whoa!" Jake yelled as he fell over.  
"What the... Shmow-zow! Look at that!" Finn exclaimed  
"That... is the most adorable thing I have ever seen. And he loves your baby song. Sing some more of it, dude," Jake said  
"Alright. Baby! You lookin' so good. You lookin' like you might... want some baby food," Finn said singing.

Roxy joined in singing a light background melody.  
The creature really enjoying the music started dancing along to the song.  
"Keep it going, guys! Hahaha," Jake said  
"Baby! You lookin' so fine. You lookin' like you might... just start cryin'," Finn sung

"Dude! This guy... is a pal for life!" Finn said He picked up the little guy, "It looks like he's got two jiggly bellies stuck together."  
"I've got that on my back. I call it my butt," Jake said  
The creature jiggles Jake's butt making them all laugh.  
"He's the Jiggler," Finn said

"You are the best thing ever. Let's take the Jiggler back to the house and just stick him by our bed so we can wake up…."  
"Next to a little dancing guy every morning!" Finn and Jake said together

"Uhhh I love the little guy too, but are you guys sure that this okay," Roxy said with uncertainty.

"It'll be fiiiiinnnneeee," Jake said

Finn picked up the Jiggler and started walking home with Jake right behind him. Roxy sighed and followed after them hoping that this was would be okay.

"Welcome to your new home. Feast your eyes on... everything!" Finn said as he put the Jiggler down.  
The Jiggler wolf whistles as it looks around making Roxy giggle.  
"Nice huh," Finn said

Finn picks up his toothbrush and breaks it in half vertically.  
"What are you doing?" Jake asked  
"Splitting my toothbrush in half, so he can use half," Finn explained  
Finn hands Jiggler a half of the toothbrush, "Here you go. It's for your teeth." Finn mimics brushing his teeth for Jiggler, "Like this."

Jiggler put the toothbrush in its mouth and started to swish it around.

"Yeeeaaahhh, I don't think he has teeth," Roxy said  
"Enough hygiene," Jake pulls out a record and puts it on the phonograph, "Let's do it!"

The music starts playing and Jiggler is instantly hooked on the jams dancing it's little heart out.

"Oh cool Jake I've never seen that before," Roxy said sitting next to Jake to look at the phonograph.

She picks up one of the record and stares at it. Her mind starts to go blank the more she stares at the record and suddenly she is in a dazed state.

" _How's about some music for my two lovely ladies," A man's voice said_

 _The back of a man could be seen walking around what looked like a cozy home holding a record in his hands. He places the record on the phonogram and sweet music starts to play._

" _Haha, your favorite right?" The man asks as he turns around. Roxy can almost see his face when-_

"Rox!"

"Uh?! Wha?!"

Roxy looks up from the record and sees Jake standing in front of her with a worried expression, "You okay?"

"Hmmm? Oh! Yeah I'm fine, just a little poo brain for a second," Roxy said

Jake smiles excepting the answer and pulls Roxy up, "Then let's jam!"

"Haha alright," Roxy said

" _Was that a memory from my past?" Roxy thought_

Roxy is brought out of her thoughts when she hears Finn.  
"Yeah! Toothbrush dance. Haha, This is cool!" Finn said dancing too.  
Pretty soon everyone one in the Treehouse was dancing and following Jigglers fun moves.

Jake breaks a table in half, Finn flips over the fridge, and Roxy breaks a window in their fun dance party. As the dancing continues they break several more things as the sun started to set.

? ﾟﾌﾄ? ﾟﾌﾄ? ﾟﾌﾄ? ﾟﾌﾄ? ﾟﾌﾄ? ﾟﾌﾄ? ﾟﾌﾄ? ﾟﾌﾄ? ﾟﾌﾄ? ﾟﾌﾄ? ﾟﾌﾄ?

Night soon falls upon the Tree House as the inhabitants started to grow tired from their constant hours of dancing.

Jake was flopped out on the floor passed out, while Finn and Roxy were leaning against the trunk of the tree. Only Jiggler seemed to be ready to party all night long because the little guy was still bouncing around in a frantic fashion.

"Dance... dance... *YAWN* dance…" Finn's eyes start to slowly close before they snap back open, " I'm not tired! How about you, Jake? Roxy?"

"*Grunt* Wha-!" Roxy said coming out of her half-sleep state.

Finn looks over at Jake and sees's him asleep on the floor.  
Finn picks up Jiggler and puts it on his back, "Maybe we should go upstairs." Finn said climbing up the ladder to the bedroom.

"*YAWN* Good idea," Roxy said following right behind Finn, leaving a sleeping Jake on the floor.  
You can have the comfiest spot on the bed. Goodnight," Finn said putting the Jiggler on his bed. He whistles to Jiggler who whistles back. Finn lays on the edge of the bed giving a majority of the bed to Jiggler.

Roxy was already on her hammock bed as she watched the sweet interaction, "Awwwww-*SNOOOOOORE*" Roxy was out like a light.

? ﾟﾌﾙ? ﾟﾌﾙ? ﾟﾌﾙ? ﾟﾌﾙ? ﾟﾌﾙ? ﾟﾌﾙ? ﾟﾌﾙ? ﾟﾌﾙ? ﾟﾌﾙ? ﾟﾌﾙ? ﾟﾌﾙ? ﾟﾌﾙ? ﾟﾌﾙ? ﾟﾌﾙ?

Morning quickly comes, Finn and Roxy were up and ready to go coming down the ladder. They see Jake in the kitchen area making himself tea.  
"Mornin', Jake!" Finn said  
"*Yawn*, Mornin'," Jake said  
"Are you ready to get down? Let's get this party started!" Finn cheered

Roxy laughs at his enthusiasm.  
"Hehe, Yeah, ok," Jake said  
"Hey, Where's the little guy?" Roxy asked looking around  
"Over there," Jake said pointing to the Jiggler who was laid out weakly on the couch.  
Finn runs over to Jiggler, "Hey, pal. You ready to cut loose? Wake and shake, buddy. Let's do this thing!"  
Jiggler whistles back to Finn but instead of its usual upbeat sound it gave out a sadly struggled sound.

"I think there might be some more jig in this Jiggler," Roxy said looking over Jiggler.  
"Slam-a-cow! Rox's is right, that fool looks rumped," Jake said

The Jiggler falls off the couch with a thud and makes no attempt to move.  
"What do you guys mean?" Finn asked  
"Well, look at him. He's all limp... and weird" Jake said

"Aww... I bet he just needs some breakfast after a night of extraordinary jiggling. Hey! Let's combine everything we can find in the kitchen... and have the Jiggler drink it! That'll wake him up! And then we can... Get doooowwwn!" Finn said

The Jiggler whistles again just as weak as before.

"I think the Jiggler protest," Roxy said  
"Yeah, He doesn't want to drink that goop, man," Jake said  
"Then let's just give him some, uh... purple whatevers," Finn said pulling out some grapes from his backpack.  
"You mean the grapes?" Roxy questioned raising an eyebrow.  
"Yeah. Whatever," Finn said  
Finn puts a grape in Jigglers mouth and it just holds it in there.  
"Hey! I think he's diggin' it!" Finn said  
Suddenly Jiggler's body contorts and it makes a strange humming noise

Roxy scoots back with worried look.  
"That doesn't sound good," Jake said  
Jiggler's body violently changes color and shape.  
"AHHHHH!" Finn, Roxy, and Jake scream.  
Jiggler stops spazzing out and makes this strange humming noise, making the three look at it worried.  
"Uhh…" Finn said  
Jake look at on of Jiggler's holes and sees that it's leaking pink juice, "Uh, you think we... think we fed the wrong hole?"  
Jake flips Jiggler upside-down.  
"Nah. He just doesn't like purple whatevers. What we need to do is figure out what he does like to eat," Finn said

* * *

Finn had decided that they should draw out various foods to see what the Jiggler picked.  
"Here, Jiggler. What kind of food do you like? Meat? Some banana? This looks like corn... I think. Uh... hot dog. Stanley the watermelon," Finn said as he drew.

"Maybe a taco or some waffles," Roxy said adding to Finn's drawings.  
Finn holds up the paper and the Jiggler places a hand on paper, "Look! You guys! He likes it!" Finn said  
The three get a surprise when the Jiggler literally lifts the drawings right off of the pages.  
"Wow!" Finn exclaimed  
"No way!" Jake said

"Whoa!" Roxy said  
Jiggler slurps the drawings into its mouth and eats them.  
"His favorite food... is drawings! Awesome!" Finn said  
Jake picks up Jiggler, "Holy fig, that's awesome! What food are you drawing now?"  
"I'm drawing a picture of you," Finn said  
"Well, don't feed it me!" Jake said with a distressed tone.  
"Haha, Come on. Eat him up, Jiggler!" Finn said holding the drawing up to Jiggler.  
Jiggler slurps the drawing off of the paper, but before he could swallow the picture Jake pulls him away.  
"No!" Jake said running with the Jiggler in his arms.  
The drawing of Jake floats and follows them around the room.  
"Ahhh! Keep it away! Shoo! Shoo! Ahhh!" Jake shouted as he waved away the floating picture.  
Roxy grabs the drawing, "Haha, Alright. Alright. I got it."  
Finn takes the drawing from Roxy, "Calm down. I'll eat it," Finn opens his mouth about to put the drowning in his mouth, "Ahhhhh."  
Jake puts down the Jiggler and snatched the photo away from Finn, "Dude! You eating me is just as bad as the Jiggler eating me."  
"Well, are you gonna eat yourself, tough guy?" Roxy asked with a coy smile.  
"Yes. If that is what must be done," Jake said  
Jake puts the drawing in his mouth and chews it before swallowing, "I taste awesome."  
"Ok. Alright. Now, let's get back to some jiggling!" Finn said  
"I'll get the tunes!" Jake said going over to the ponogram and putting on music.  
The Jiggler is shaking and whimpering.  
Finn and Jake start dancing, "Like this. Yeah! Woo! Come on Jiggler! wiggle and whistle!" Finn said  
"Yeah, Jiggler. Go nuts! Go nuts like there's bugs on your butts!" Jake shouted

Roxy was off to the side not dancing but observing the Jiggler, "Uhhh guys…."  
The Jiggler shakes its head and then pink juice spurts out of the hole on the top of its head, then it collapses on the floor.  
"Ahhh!" Roxy said  
"Whoa!" Jake said turning off the music.  
Finn turns around and gasps, "Jiggler?"  
He picks up Jiggler and sets him upright, while he is still gushing juice.

"What the heck? What's wrong with him?" Jake asked  
"Uh... There's nothing wrong with him. We just gotta plug up his holes," Finn said

"Quick use your fingers!" Roxy said

Finn uses his finger to plug up the top hole in Jiggler.  
"See? That worked. Ready to jiggle again, little guy?" Finn

Instead of being fine Jiggler started to gush out more juice from a different hole spraying Jake in the face.

Jake plugs up the hole but the same thing happens with juice hitting Roxy's feet. She plugs up that hole with her finger too.  
"Not good, not good, not good!" Roxy said  
"Oh, man…" Jake said  
Once Roxy plugged up that hole another one started to gush out.  
"Quick! We gotta plug those holes!" Finn yelled  
Jake walks out of the room leaving the hole he plugged unplugged. Roxy and Finn were being soaked in the juice the Jiggler was gushing out.

"Jake, hurry!" Finn yelled  
"All I could find was your glass eye collection!" Jake yelled  
"What about your eyepatch collection?" Roxy asked  
"Aw, man. They're in mint condition," Jake said  
"Jake!" Finn yelled  
Jake runs over with glass eyes and eye patches, "Alright! Coming!"  
They start plugging up the Jiggler's holes shoving glass eyes into its holes and placing eye patches over the other ones.  
"One... more... patch! *sigh" Finished. Ugh. He looks terrible. Finn, I know you don't want to hear this, but I think we should cut our losses and bring this fella back to where we found him," Jake said  
"We can't just abandon him. Look at him, Jake. He needs us now more than ever we just need to take better care of you from now on, right little guy?" Finn said

Roxy looks at Jigger sympitcally. Her eyes widen when she see's the Jiggler starting to swell.

"He's gonna-!"

*BOOM*

The Jiggler exploded and splattered juice everywhere. It's body stretched and contorted all across the tree house.  
"Jiggler!" Finn yelled

"Wahhhh!" Roxy yelled  
"Oh... Finn. Ok... Our pet exploded," Jake said  
"Ahhhh!" Finn yelled as he picked up a piece of the Jiggler.  
"Maybe we can... scrape him up! And... eyuhh…" Jake said

"I don't think that this is something that we can just scrape up," Roxy said looking around with a worried expression.  
"Wahhhh! Oh, holy moly! Don't worry, Jiggler. We'll fix you," Finn said  
The Jiggler tries to whistle, but only makes raspberry noises.  
"Let's gather him up. He's all over the place... even between the floorboards!" Finn said  
"And the cupboards!" Jake said  
"And the galoshes!" Roxy said

Roxy, Finn, and Jake walked over the treehouse cleaning up the Jiggler.  
"I wonder... Where's his heinie?" Jake questioned  
Jake looks over and sees the Jiggler's heinie on the phonograph kicking its little legs.  
"Found it! Come here, you!" Jake  
The Jiggler's heinie jumps away from Jake's grasp and starts to run away.  
"Hey!" Jake yelled

Jake chased it around and jumped on it catching it.

Finn, Roxy, and Jake gather together with the now collected stretched out Jiggler.  
"Come on. Let's put him back together," Finn said  
"Ok," Jake said

Roxy nods her head and they attempt to put the Jiggler together.  
"Squeeze real hard. He's slipping!" Finn said  
Finn and Jake hug with the Jiggler in between them while Roxy tries to keep the Jiggler stuck in between them.  
"Got him!" Jake said  
The Jiggler gets squished back together but looks like a wad of chewed up gum.  
"Well, at least he's all in one piece," Jake said  
The Jiggler falls over. "Sheesh. You think he's dead?" Jake asked  
"No way! I won't let you die, guy! Not this time," Finn said

Finn picks up the Jiggler and starts to blow air into various holes, and then kisses the Jiggler's head.  
"Uhhhhhh…." Roxy said  
"Finn. Stop it, man. What are you doing?" Jake asked  
"I'm kissing him! What do you think? It's all I could think to do," Finn said  
"Just put him down," Roxy said  
Finn lays him down and the Jiggler starts making kissing noises. The Jiggler starts kissing the floor and leaves various colored kiss marks.  
"He's kissing colors with his dying breath," Finn said sadly.  
The Jiggler finishes his kissing and the three can see he created a picture with his kiss marks.  
"I think he's trying to tell us something. This looks like it could be his Mama Jiggler," Jake said  
The Jiggler crawls up to the image of its mother and hugs it, whistling a small tune.

"We took this child away from its mama. We're kidnappers and murderers! I just wanted to have fun and jiggle!" Finn said freaking out.  
Roxy grabs Finn shoulders, "Calm down bro."  
"We can fix this. Check it out. His mom looks like she's out by Stanley's house... where we found the Jiggler. If we get him back to her, she'll be able to fix him up!" Jake exclaimed  
Finn quickly picks up the Jiggler, "Then there's no time to spare."

* * *

 **Finn, Jake, and Roxy were quickly walking through the Grasslands trying to find the Jiggler's mother. Finn was holding the Jiggler close to him, as the little guy whimpered and let out heavy breaths.  
** **"** **Shhh. Just hold on a little longer, buddy," Finn said  
** **"** **Hey, do you hear that?" Roxy said as she stopped walking.  
** **"** **Whistling!" Jake said  
They run off in the direction of the whistling and find a cave. They go inside and see a giant Jiggler with children around her, in a pound of the same juice that the The Jiggler was squirting out earlier.**

"Holy juice!" Rox said  
"Perpendicular! It's the mama!" Finn said happy.  
The Jiggler in Finn's arms struggles to whistle as it reaches out for its mother.  
"Look! The little guy wants to go home!" Jake said

Finn gives the Jiggler a hug and then sets it down, "Well. This is it, buddy."  
Roxy and Jake wave goodbye as the Jiggler tries to walk over. The Jiggler walks up to Mama Jiggler and she sniffs it. Suddenly she goes into a rage, screeching and changing colors.  
"Hey! Stop that!" Finn yelled as he ran over.  
Finn grabs the Jiggler and protects him from the mother's attack, and carries the Jiggler back over to Jake and Roxy.  
"I don't understand. That crazy mama almost killed him," Finn said confused.  
"He feels cold," Jake said touching the Jiggler.

"He needs to get in that pool of juice now," Roxy said  
"What are we supposed to do now, man? We can't bring him home, or he'll... or he'll…" said tearing up.  
Finn gets a frustrated look on his face, "Dang it! Why doesn't she love him? I love him!," He looks at Jake, "You love him!," He turns to Roxy, "And you love him! It's not fair!

Finn runs to the Mother Jiggler, "Ahhhh! Mama's supposed to love baby! She's supposed to love baby!"  
"Huh?" Jake questioned looking at the juice of pool.  
"What is it Jake?" Roxy asked  
"Oh, man!" Jake said sniffing the air.

"What!" Roxy yelled looking at Jake.

Jake turns Roxy head so that she could see the pool of juice that had other baby jiggler's in it.

"Uh? Oooohhh!" Roxy said getting it.

"It's yours, idiot!" Finn yelled at the attacking Jiggler mother. He jumps up on top of Mama Jiggler's head and holds the Jiggler up close to her face, "Don't you recognize your own baby?"  
"Finn!" Roxy yelled

"I figured it out, dude. It's the juice. The Jiggler needs to smell like it's mama's juice. That's how wild animals know what's going on... and this guy right here is all drained out. We gotta toss it in the soup, brother," Jake said  
"Alright. Ok," Finn turns to the Jiggler in his arms, "] I loved you, baby. I hope you know that."  
Finn lifts up the Jiggler and throws him at the pool, "Word to your motheeeerrrrr!"  
The Jiggler flies through the air and lands in the pool of juice. When he resurfaces he looks completely normal and healthy. He whistles to his Mama Jiggler picks it up and sniffs it, then holds it against her cheek and they both whistle.  
"Awww…" Finn, Roxy, and Jake said.  
"I'll never kidnap again," Finn said  
"You said it! That was a nightmare," JAke said  
"True that," Roxy said 


	8. Ricardio the Heart Guy

**Ricardio the Heart Guy**

"GET HIM!"

As of right now Roxy, Jake, and Finn were running after the Ice King who had just kidnapped Princess Bubblegum. They had made it all the way to the Ice Kingdom border.

"Hey, fart-face!" Finn yelled

"Huh?" Ice King questioned

"Unhand Princess Bubblegum!" Finn yelled

"Foolish interlopers! Zah!" Ice King yelled shooting an ice beam at Finn and Jake. He turned to face Roxy, "Hello daughter!" He said waving his hand with wiggling fingers.

"Still not your daughter!" Roxy yelled back.

"Haha that's our little game we play," Ice King said to PB.

"Uuugghhh!" Roxy yelled slapping her forehead.

Using this distraction Finn picks up a snowball and throws it at Ice King.

"Ee hee hee hee—OOH! MY EYESIGHT!" Ice King yelled rubbing his eyes, losing his grip on PB.

Finn grabs some rocks and puts them into Jake's butt who forms it into Princess Bubblegum's shape. Jakes then stretches his butt to Princess Bubblegum and Ice King he slips his butt into PB's place.

"Huh? Hee hee hee!" PB giggled as she slipped away.

"Hey, Ice King! I bet you'll never kiss the princess!" Finn shouted to the Ice King.

"I will kiss her! I will!" The Ice King removes his crown and closes his eyes to face who he thinks is PB, "Hold still. Mwah!"

"Hahaha!" PB and Roxy laughed leaning on each other.

"Hahaha! You just kissed Jake's butt!" Finn laughed pointing at Ice King.

"What?!" Ice King yelled looking at Jake's butt.

Jake's butt reforms back to normal as the rocks fall out.

"EEEEGH!" Ice King yelled grossed out.

Everyone else laughs hysterically while the Ice King starts to lift off of the ground.

"The hour is yours, but the day shall be mine! Just like you, Princess—MINE!" Ice King yelled as he flew away.

"What a patoot. Thanks for saving the day yet again, you guys," PB said

"You're welcome, Princess," PB wraps Finn in a hug, "Uh…" Finn said blushing as Jake and Roxy raise their eyebrows.

"I'm gonna throw you three a party. Meet at the Candy Kingdom—TONIGHT!" PB shouted.

The three cheer excited for the upcoming party.

* * *

Finn, Roxy, and, Jake had headed home earlier to prepare for the upcoming celebration. As the sun went down the three of them made their way to the Candy Kingdom. Finn was holding a paper crane, as the three of them walked on a path.

"That paper crane for Princess Bubblegum?" Jake asked

"I just thought I'd bring 'er a gift... in return for throwing us this party," Finn said nervously.

"Heh. I bet you wish you were my butt," Jake said with a smile.

"What?" Finn said confused.

"No, no, no, Jake, Finn wishes he were the Ice King and the princess was your butt!" Roxy said

"Right! Haha!" Jake said

"What?!" Finn said

"You wish Bubblegum would kiss you, too! Like the Ice King and my butt! Hahahaha!" Jake said

"That's ridiculous!" Finn said, he gets a dazed look on his face, "Huh? Uggghhh!" Jake and Roxy laugh and run ahead of the now blushing Finn, "What's so funny?!"

? ﾟﾎﾈ? ﾟﾎﾈ? ﾟﾎﾈ? ﾟﾎﾈ? ﾟﾎﾈ? ﾟﾎﾈ? ﾟﾎﾈ? ﾟﾎﾈ? ﾟﾎﾈ? ﾟﾎﾈ? ﾟﾎﾈ? ﾟﾎﾈ

The three heroes made their way through the front door if the Candy Kingdom. The front entrance had two ice sculptures of Finn, Jake, and Roxy in heroic poses.

"Hey, everybody. Finn, Jake, Roxy are here," Peppermint butler said letting the three in.

"Who's ready to party?!" Jake shouted raising his arms.

The crowd instead of cheering along with Jake seemed to be focused on something and were gathered around something else. The three of them look at each other confused.

"What's everyone laughing at?" Finn asked as the three of them walked up to the circle.

"Shh!" Wildberry Princess said shushing Finn.

In the circle as Lumpy Space Princess laying down on a table and was getting a massage by a what looked like a heart.

"Stand back, everyone. This style of massage is called, 'Best Friend Massage.'" The heart guy said massaging LSP with his feet.

"Oh, my gosh…" LSP said

"Because it can only be done for friends. It is completely consensual," The Heart Guy said

"Oh, holy cow…" LSP said

"Relax yourself now, Lumpy Space Princess," He walks to the end of LSP and preps himself for a backflip, "YAH!" He backflips onto LSP.

"Oh! I feel so great!" LSP said sitting up.

Everyone cheered and clapped.

"Who is that guy?" Finn asked

Jake shrugs but Roxy just stared at the Heart with a weird expression.

A horn interrupts Finn as everyone turned their attention to a bookcase. The bookcase opens up and Princess Bubblegum is carried into the room by Peppermint Butler.

"Greetings, party-goers! Glad you could all make it!" PB said waving.

"Princess Bubblegum!" Finn said happily.

No one seems to notice except for Roxy, but the Heart Guy starts to beat crazy and had a bit of snot dripped out of his nose.

"Princess. I just wanted to thank you for—"

Lumpy Space Princess cut in front of Finn, "Oh, my gosh! PB, ya gotta check out this super cute guy. You're gonna love 'im, you too Roxy," LSP grabbed the two girls and started to drag them over.

"Uhhh…" Finn said with a deflated expression.

"This is... Oh. Oh, my gosh. I don't even know your name," LSP said

"Ricardio. Ricardio at your service. I've been waiting all evening to meet you, Princess," Ricardio grabs PB's hand kisses it, "Mwah!" He turns his attention to Roxy who gets a cringed expression, "Hello to you too, sweetheart," Ricardio said grabbing Roxy's hand and pats it. HIs tone of voice was different that it was to PB's it was less flirtatious and more gentle. Yet it still crept the young teen out.

Ricardio turns his attention back to PB, "I've heard you appreciate ancient technology. Have you ever used the balbaflonic laser to align the hybernotalist rift in the bubaflon plasmodial formation?"

"Whoa! No, I haven't!" PB said

Music starts up and everyone starts making their way to the dance floor.

"Wanna continue this conversation on the dance floor?" PB asked Ricardio.

Ricardio grabs her hand and starts to lead her to the dance floor, "It would be my pleasure, Princess."

"Why didn't the princess invite me to dance?" Finn asked with a frown.

"If you wanna dance, just go dance!" Jake said

"But now she's dancing with him! Ah... I feel... weird!" Finn said with a confused angry tone rubbing his forehead.

"Huh, it sounds like you're dealing with some new emotions you don't understand... like jealousy," Roxy said

"BLAAAARGH!" Finn shouted freaking out.

Jake grabs Finn shirt, "Look, man, just go out there and get down!" He pushed Finn onto the dance floor.

The poor boy awkwardly makes his way to the dance floor and to PB.

"Yeaaaahhh he's gonna bomb it," Roxy said crossing her arms.

"Yep," Jake said in agreement.

The two just shrug and make their way over to the buffet.

After a few minutes of stuffing their faces Finn runs over to them sweaty and an agitated look on his face.

"They're talkin' about science, man! I can't compete with that!" Finn yelled waving his hands around.

"Do the Science Dance! Remember it? It was sorta like this. Wah unh we ah eeh…" Jake said doing some weird dance moves.

"You think that'll work?" Finn questioned

"No wa-" Roxy was cut off by Jake.

"Yeah! Probably. Do it, man! You're a pro!" Jake said pushing Finn back onto the dance floor.

Finn starts doing some weird robotic dance moves. Roxy slaps her forehead for the second time this day. She then proceeds to smack Jake on the back of the head.

"Ow! What was that for?" Jake asked rubbing the back of his head.

"That," Roxy said pointing over at Finn who was hovering of PB and Ricardio spastically dancing.

"Oh," Jake said

Roxy just sighs and goes back to eating, but notices Ricardio walking out of the party with a strange look on his face, "Hmmmm? Weirdo. What he's up to?"

"I'm not jealous! I'M WEIRD!" Finn yelled making everyone stop what they're doing and stare at him.

"Woof! Rox... This is goin' bad," Jake said

"Yeah I noticed, let's get him out of here," Roxy said

"Hey, Finn. You gotta come help me and Rox slay these peanut monsters at the bar. It can't wait," He said grabbing Finn and pulling him away.

"Wow, man, what happened out there?" Jake asked

"Agh... I don't know! I was tryin' to warn 'er, but she twisted my words around and—" Finn said trailing off.

"Yeah. Ladies are twisty, man,-"

"Hey!" Roxy yelled offended

"-Bubblegum's super smart, too," Jake said

"I know! And I can't shake this weird feeling about Ricardio. I think he's... a villain," Finn said

"Why? Is it because his face is so foldy and dramatic?" Jake asked

"That just makes him a weirdo, which he clearly is," Roxy said

"No, it's not that! I can just feel it in my gut! He's up to something sinister!" Finn yelled

"Maybe what you feel is romantic rivalry," Jake said

"I'll prove he's a villain!" Finn said

"How?" Jake and Roxy asked

"Stakeout," Finn said with a serious face.

* * *

So, in the end, Finn's paranoia led the group to a roof across from the castle. Finn held up a pair of binoculars looking at the door. Roxy just laid back on the roof looking up at the sky and counting stars.

"Here he comes! They're talking!" Finn whisper yelled.

"Lemme see," Jake takes the binoculars from Finn, "I can read their lips."

'Hey, shorty, you should pick your boogers and then fart!' Jake mimicked PB.

'You look kind of like a big pink baguette!' Jake mimicked Ricardio.

Finn snatches the binoculars back, "Get serious, Jake! This is life and death!"

Roxy sits up on her elbows and raises an eyebrow, "Is it? I'll admit he is creepy aaaannnnddd evil looking….you know what never mind." Roxy just flops onto her back.

"Dude, I'm all about stakeouts and spying on this guy, but what if he's not a villain? What if he just looks wicked? Some people look wicked but are super nice," Jake said

"I gotta trust my gut!" Finn said

"Hmm," Jake said grabbing his gut. He turns to Roxy, "What does your gut say?"

"Hmmmm?" Roxy questioned grabbing her stomach, "It says, Ricardio is a weirdo and go with Finn's gut. Guess the heart guys evil."

"He's on the move! Let's roll!" Finn said

Finn and Roxy jump onto Jake's back as he uses his arms to stretch and swing across rooftops. The stop on top of a gumball guardian. Finn looks through the binoculars and spots Ricardio running into an alley.

"I see 'im. He's holding rope and going into the trash. He's smashing bottles—and pretending to stab someone!" Finn shouted in concern.

"He's doing what?!" Roxy exclaimed grabbing the binoculars.

"So... he's recycling... or what?" Jake said

"Yeah because I always try to draw blood when I recycle," Roxy said with sarcasm.

"Yeah Jake, I think your gut's a little naive," Finn grabs the binoculars from Roxy, "Holy moly! He's... he's with the Ice King! They're shouting something!Ricardio is tossing him in the dumpster and running away!"

"So I was right! He is a good guy who's just cursed to look suspicious!" Jake looks down at his gut, "You and me, gut! Together forever! Solvin' crimes and makin' up rhymes!"

"No way. This proves he's a super-villain! More powerful than lesser villains like the Ice King!" Finn said

Jake just ignores Finn and starts singing a song about his gut.

"I think your actually right Finn," Roxy said

"Then it's settled! We're gonna confront Ricardio face-to-face and prove he's evil!" Finn said with determination.

"Or good!" Jake said

"No, an evil creepster," Roxy said

? ﾟﾒﾔ? ﾟﾒﾔ? ﾟﾒﾔ? ﾟﾒﾔ? ﾟﾒﾔ? ﾟﾒﾔ? ﾟﾒﾔ? ﾟﾒﾔ? ﾟﾒﾔ? ﾟﾒﾔ?

Ricardio was walking down the street when he suddenly runs into a figure.

"Oof!" Ricardio said taking a few steps back.

"So what're you doin', Ricardio? Are you evil?" Finn asked

"Or nice with an evil face?" Jake asked

"*Sigh* No subtly at all," Roxy said

"That's none of your business," Ricardio said

"The safety of Princess Bubblegum is my business!" Finn said

"Yeah, we just wanna know if you're evil or not," Jake said

"Oh, yeah?" Ricardio questioned making a weird look.

"Yeah," Finn and Jake answered.

"Oh, yeah?" Ricardio questioned with more force.

"Yeah, Yes!" Jake said with annoyance in his voice.

"You stay away from Princess Bubblegum with all that stuff!" Finn said

"Now that my plan is nearly complete, there is no way you could stop me," Ricardio said

"I could stop you if I wanted!" Finn exclaimed

"Oh, yeah?" Ricardio asked

"Yeah!" Finn shouted

"Not this again," Roxy said to herself.

"Oh, yeah?" Ricardio questioned

"YEEEAAAH!" Finn yelled socking Ricardio in the face and knocking him down.

At this moment PB walks around the corner.

"*GASP* What's going on here?" PB asked

"Princess?!" Finn asked looking up.

"Ohhhh talk about bad timing," Roxy said

Princess Bubblegum walked over and knelt down next to Ricardio, "Ricardio?!"

"Yes... I'm alright, Princess," Ricardio said weakly.

"Finn... why'd you do it?" PB asked

"He was gonna hurt you with those ropes and bottles!" Finn said

"These were for our balbaflonic laser," PB said

"Huh?" Roxy questioned tilting her head.

"It's not all his fault, Princess. I might've looked a little threatening," Ricardio said

"Finn... you shouldn't punch brainiacs. You know how fragile they are! You gotta stop this jealous business," PB said

"But…" Finn said

"C'mon, Ricardio. I'll patch you up and give you candy," PB said leading Ricardio away.

"*SIGH* She hates me now. I was totally wrong about Ricardio," Finn said saddened.

"No, Finn!" Ice King suddenly emerges from the alleyway looking sickly pale, "You were not wrong. He is evil!" Ice king said collapsing on the ground.

"Ice King! What do you know about this? Tell me or I'll do something!" Finn said threatening Ice King.

Jake holds Finn back, "Hold up, Finn! The Ice King looks sorta damaged!"

"I don't care! I only care about Ricardio!" Finn said angrily.

"But my enervated condition has everything to do with him. I was trying to cast a spell that would give me total control of Princess Bubblegum's heart! ...But I messed it all up... and lost control of mine. He planned to rip out Princess Bubblegum's heart... to make it his bride. Without my heart, I grew weak. [But I made my way to the Candy Kingdom to look for him. In an alleyway, I begged him to return to me and leave the princess alone. But he threw me in the dumpster and left me for dead. Stop Ricardio!" Ice King finished reaching out for Finn.

Finn slaps the Ice King's hand away, "Agh! Come on, Jake! Roxy!"

Thier about to run to the castle when they notice one less person, "Where's Roxy?"

* * *

 **Few Minutes Earlier**

As soon as PB and Ricardio left Roxy had followed the two back to the castle. She stayed hidden in the shadows and followed the two back, right now they were just discussing science stuff.

" _He's up to something definitely,"_ Roxy thought

"Oh Princess, I have something I'd like to show you," Ricardio said

"What is-ahhhhhhhh!"

Ricardio jumped Princess Bubblegum and tied her up in the rope.

Roxy gasped and jumped out of her hiding place, "Oh no you don't!"

"Roxy!" PB yelled

Ricardio turned around to face Roxy with a smile, "Little Roxy I'm so glad you could make it."

"I knew you were creepy!" Roxy said

"Haha and I knew you'd be HERE!" Ricardio yelled pulling on a rope.

"GAHHH!"

Suddenly Roxy was pulled up. A rope was wrapped around her ankle dangling her upside down.

"Man, I can't believe I fell for that," Roxy said

Roxy struggled to pull herself up and grab the rope around her ankle but the knot was too tight.

"Don't worry sweet little Roxy. Once I cut out Princesses' heart, I'll take yours too so we can be one big happy family," Ricardio said holding up the broken bottle.

"What! You're crazy! Wait family?" Roxy yelled

Roxy thought back to who kept calling her his daughter, "Y-you came from the Ice King!"

"Correct!" Ricardio said

"Princess Bubblegum!"

"Princess! *GASP*"

Finn and Jake yelled kicking open the door.

"Finn! Jake!" PB yelled

"You were right all along, Finn! Now I'm going to cut out Princess Bubblegum's heart and make out with it! And then I'm gonna take Roxy's to be our love child," Ricardio said

"Not if I can help it!" Finn yelled

Finn and Jake chase after Ricardio around the room.

Roxy who was still upside down had a red face as she struggled to untie the rope around her ankle, "What am I doing." Roxy reached into her hair and pulls out the dagger. She swings herself up and cuts the rope falling down and landing gracefully on her feet.

"Now to put Ricardio back to where he belongs," Roxy said running out of the castle.

Ricardio had made his way to PB and held the glass bottle to her chest.

"One step closer and I'll remove her heart!" Ricardio yelled

"Finn! I feel like a big idiot for doubting you! He was just so engaging! ...But his knowledge on plantoids is actually pretty weak," PB said

"Shut your mouth up, Princess!" Ricardio yelled

Jake uses one of his jowls to knock down Ricardio.

"I'm gonna smooch that heart! It will be my bride!" Ricardio yelled

"Why don't you marry someone your own size?! Like my foot?!" Finn yelled

"Huh?!"

Before Ricardio could react he was kicked by Finn.

"And my fist!" Finn yelled punching him.

"Stop! Stop it! That's my heart, you piece of—"

"Ice King," Finn said

The weak Ice King was being helped into the to castle by Roxy who had one of his arms slung over her shoulder.

"Should we... let 'im take his heart back? He is... villainous…" Finn said

"I don't wanna watch an old man die on Princess Bubblegum's carpet, man," Jake said

"Yeah. Besides I'd rather deal with this lump," Roxy gestured to Ice King, "Than that one," She gestured to Ricardio.

Roxy lays the Ice King next to Ricardio.

"Oh, yeah…" Ice King said as he grabbed Ricardio.

"Wait! Wait! No!" Ricardio yelled kicking and struggling.

"Come to daddy…" Ice King said

"Noooooooooo!" Ricardio yelled as Ice King lifted up his beard.

"Yeah, there you go…" The Ice King shoves Ricardio into his chest, "Like that? Huh?"

Ricardio slowly starts to sink into the Ice King's chest, "Seeee you guys laterrrr…"

Within a matter of seconds, Ice King regains his normal blue color and is up and ready to go.

"I feel wonderful! Hahaha! And now that I've saved the Princess, she'll marry me and live in my dungeon every day!" Ice King said

"No, she won't!" Finn yelled at the Ice King.

"Yeah, no, I won't!" PB said chiming in.

"Yes, you WILL!" The Ice King's hands start to glow ready for an attack but he's quickly stopped by Finn with a swift kick to the face, "Well... maybe not today... or tomorrow... but another day! Another—" As the Ice King tried to fly out he hit the door frame. He grunts before flying out.

? ﾟﾍﾝ? ﾟﾍﾝ? ﾟﾍﾝ? ﾟﾍﾝ? ﾟﾍﾝ? ﾟﾍﾝ? ﾟﾍﾝ? ﾟﾍﾝ? ﾟﾍﾝ? ﾟﾍﾝ? ﾟﾍﾝ?

For saving the day once again PB had a small celebratory spaghetti dinner made for the trio.

"Thanks again for saving me... again," PB said

"Don't mention it," Finn said with a full mouth.

"Now that Ricardio's gone, you don't have to be jealous of anyone anymore," PB said with a wink.

"I never get jealous," Finn said looking down at his food.

PB snickers and does a handstand. On her rump was mask of Jake, she faces it towards Finn who was still looking down at his food, "Kiss me, Finn."

Hearing these words Finn blushes with a wide mouth.

"Ahem. I mean... kiss me, Finn. Am I doing it right, you guys?" PB asked Roxy and Jake.

Jake and Roxy just laugh while Finn grabs his face with a horror stricken look.

"NOOOOOOOO!"


	9. Business Time

**Business Time**

"HAHAHAHA! I FOUND SOMETHING!" Roxy yelled

Roxy was having a lot of fun, more fun than she thought. Finn wanted to build a gauntlet, but the trio had no materials to work with. Jake and Finn told Roxy that plenty of stuff washed up on the beach. The idea of sifting through sand for hours finding building materials didn't sound appealing to Roxy, that is until she saw the large chunks of ice and Finn handed her a flame thrower.

"Yeah," Finn lights an ice chunk, "Yeah!"

The ice melts and reveals several bike and tech parts.

"I found another bike and more computers. What do you got?" Finn asked Roxy and Jake.

"I keep finding baby shoes!" Jake said with dismay.

"I found car parts!" Roxy said holding up a hubcap.

Jake torches another iceberg with his flamethrower and exposes more baby shoes.

"WHAT THE HECK, MAN?! And they're all lefties! Sorry, I'm not finding any loot," Jake said frustrated.

"Keep it together, chubby, because I think we found enough scrap to finish building our gauntlet dock; a dock that is also a gauntlet," Finn said pointing over to the dock.

"Aww. Building this gauntlet dock is hard, man. Hard work sucks," Jake said

"Don't be lazy, Jake. Look at Roxy," Finn said pointing over at the girl.

Roxy lights another ice chunk on fire with a smile, "Haha!"

"I think she just likes lighting things on fire," Jake said staring at the laughing girl.

A bubbling noise distracts the two boys and they turn around back to the ocean to see a giant piece of ice float to the top and over to the beach.

"Huh?" Finn said

"Incoming iceberg!" Jake said

Roxy turned around hearing this and giggles lighting the flame thrower.

"Whoa! That one's huge!" Finn said as the iceburg slid onto the beach.

Jake starts to run over the to iceburg, "I got dibs! Ooo. I hope it's not baby shoes."

Jake wipes the surface of the ice, which reveals a face within the ice.

"*GASP* It's a guy," Jake said

Finn and Roxy walk over to the iceburg wiping it off too to reveal multiple faces.

"Creepy. It's a buncha guys," Finn said

"You know what they remind me of? Well-dressed pickles," Jake said with his face pressed against the ice.

"Stand back, Jake! I'm gonna melt 'em outta there! Full charge," Roxy said

"Whoa, don't roast 'em, girl. You gotta flambé," Jake said as he lets out a gentle fire on the iceburg.

The ice quickly melts revealing the well-dressed man.

"You got them out but that wasn't that much fun," Roxy said sulking to herself.

"Ah. Perfecto. Bon appetit," Jake said

Finn walks over to one of the men and knocks on his head, "Hey! Can you hear me? Hello?"

"I don't think they made it," Jake said

Roxy snaps her fingers in front of one of the guys getting no response.

"Hey," Finn for a briefcase, "This one's got some kind of pack."

As soon as Finn touches the briefcase the man's hand grabs Finn's face making the poor boy scream.

"I remember... business," Red-tied Businessmen

"Let go! Let go! Let go!" Finn screamed

The man drops Finn and easily breaks out of the ice along with the other men.

"We... are Business Men," Red-tied Businessmen said once all of the men are out of the ice.

"Oooh... Well, I'm Finn and he's Jake, and she's Roxy," Finn said

"Yo," Roxy said in a greeting.

"What kind of business do you do?" Jake asked

The man with the red tie grabbed his head trying to search his mind for the answer, "Been frozen... so long, I…"

Suddenly all the Businessmen start to scream in pain not being able to recover the memories.

"Hey, hey, calm down you guys," Roxy said running over to the guys, "I know trying to remember lost memories can be painful so just take it slow."

The men stop screaming and calm down, but they all had sad expressions from not being able to remember.

"Oh. Looking for help, your business? We love work for you," Red-tied Businessmen said

"Nah. Adventurers don't need any help-," Finn said

"Yes! Help us fix that dock," Jake said jumping in front of Finn.

"Dock-ka?" Red-tied Businessmen man questioned

"Yeah! Right over there," Jake said pointing over to the dock.

Red-tie businessman had a pondering look, "Yes. This dock-ka... could be more... efficient."

"No! Wait!" Finn shouted making the men jump back.

"Jake, this dock is our fun pie. We should be the ones to bake it," Finn said

"Wow, Finn that was a great analogy," Roxy said

"An-al-ogy?" Finn questioned

"Huh? Smart people stuff, just know what you said was awesome," Roxy said

Jake hopped in between the conversation, "But they're begging for it, Finn. Just look at 'em."

Jake points over at the businessmen who were blushing and drooling at the mouth just thinking about doing business.

"Aww they're like little business puppies who want their business bones," Roxy said

"Finn. These poor souls are lost without jobs. We can't ignore their plight," Jake said

"Uhh…" Finn said

"Maybe they could-"

Jake cut off Roxy, "Go on guys, fix it up!"

All of the businessmen whooped and hollered in excitement and ran to the dock with incredible speed. As soon as they reach it they start immediately building up the dock.

"Well... they do seem really happy to do it," Finn said

"Of course, man. They said they 'love work for you.'" Jake said

"Uhh... We finish."

The three look over at the dock to see and incredible gauntlet dock.

Roxy lets out a low whistle showing her impressment.

"Whoa!" Finn said

"Told ya so," Jake said

"Come on! Let's try it out!" Finn said

He and Jake take off running to the dock while Roxy stays.

"I'm gonna burn more stuff," Roxy said with a sly smile.

When Roxy turns around to go find more ice a hand stretches out and grabs the back of Roxy shirt. Jake pulled Roxy over to the dock and set her next to businessmen.

He removes the flamethrower from her back.

"Hey man," Roxy said

Jake hands the flamethrower to one of the businessmen, "Watch her and don't let her have this."

Finn and Jake run through the gauntlet dock, avoiding the traps and obstacles, while Finn screams excitedly the whole way. The boys reach the end of the dock and jump off and into the water. They appear a little beaten up but nothing too major.

"Those boys," Roxy said with a smile.

"Haha! Yeah! Woo!" Finn said popping out of the water.

Jake's head pops out of the water, "Yeah! Woo! See? If we hire them full time, they'll be back in business and we'll be able to focus on fun stuff. Everybody wins!"

"Maybe you're right," Finn said

"You hear that, guys? Maybe I'm right!" Jake yelled up at the dock.

"That'll be a first!" Roxy yelled back with a laugh.

"Hey!" Jake said

Red-tie businessman looks down at Jake, "Really? Job? With... ad-ven-tur-ers?"

"Yeah, man's!" Jake shouted

The businessmen started to cheer and dance happily about having a job. The red-tie businessman throws down his briefcase and brings out a chisel, he quickly chisel's out 'Finn, Jake, & Roxy Adventuring Incorporated' into the side.

? ﾟﾒﾼ? ﾟﾒﾼ? ﾟﾒﾼ? ﾟﾒﾼ? ﾟﾒﾼ? ﾟﾒﾼ? ﾟﾒﾼ? ﾟﾒﾼ? ﾟﾒﾼ? ﾟﾒﾼ? ﾟﾒﾼ? ﾟﾒﾼ

The three brought the Businessmen to their treehouse and they immediately went to work. They were sharpening weapons, doing laundry, and shining shoes.

Jake, Roxy, and Finn were on the couch while Jake played a videogame on BMO.

"Feels weird doing nothing," Finn said

"Yeah, I feel weird just sitting here," Roxy said

"Relax, you guys. This is your day off," Jake said

"Help! Somebody help!"

Finn and Roxy sit up when they hear cries of help.

"Trouble, dude! Get your ax!" Finn jumped off of the couch, "I'll get my... wha?"

The Businessmen were standing in front of Finn holding his backpack with his sword into it. Another also had Roxy's side pack.

"Adventure packs... ready for you," Red-tied Businessmen said

"Hey, thanks, man," Finn said taking the bag.

"Yeah thanks," Roxy said getting up and taking her pack.

Finn, Jake, and Roxy ran out of the house heading towards the cries for help.

"I have to say, Jake. My sword is totally shiny and stinkin' sharp!" Finn said as his sword gleamed.

"Uh huh," Jake said

"Even my shoes feel different. Not only are they clean, I feel radder, faster, more... adequate," Finn said

"Cool!" Jake said

"Hmmm, maybe I'll have them fix my shoes," Roxy said

As the three ran forward the businessmen followed behind writing notes the whole time.

They reach where the yells were coming from and saw Hot Dog Princess being attacked by floating cubes.

"Help!" Hot Dog Princess cried out.

"Don't cry, Hot Dog Princess! We'll will fend off these battle cubes!" Finn shouted

Roxy brought out her hammer and swung at the cube's but every time she took a swipe a one they would just float right out her reach.

"Get back here!" Roxy shouted chasing after the floating cubes.

One of the cubes shoots a laser at her making her yelp and jump back.

"Oh, now you're gettin it now!" Roxy said mad.

She swings her hammer and hits the cube sending flying away like a home run.

"Haha got ya!" Roxy laughed

Suddenly she saw a white dot floating in the sky and soon it turned into a square.

"What?!" Roxy shouted when she saw that the cube had just floated back unharmed.

"Rggghh!" Roxy growled.

During the whole fight, the businessmen were sitting and observing taking notes.

After what seemed like hours Finn, Roxy, and Jake's attacks have had no effect on the cube's, and they were looking pretty worn out. Even Hot Dog Princess looked worn out and laid down to take a nap.

Roxy yawned as she lazy swung her hammer at a cube missing it completely.

"Man. I'm getting tired," Finn said poking a cube with his sword.

"Me too. These cubes are... frickin' resilient. Hey, business dudes! Hold off these cubes so we can catch our breath?" Jake said

"Jake!" Finn and Roxy shouted

"They don't know how to fight," Finn said

Before anyone could say anything the businessmen all run at the cubes carrying various weapons and yelling out battle cries.

Finn, Jake, and, Roxy sit down out of breath. As soon as they sit down, a Red-tied Businessmen comes up with a plate of orange slices and water.

Roxy immediately grabbed an orange slice and shoved it into her mouth.

"Water. Orange slices. Help rehydrate," Red-tied Businessmen said giving them the tray before running back into battle.

"These guys are great, right?" Jake said

"I gotta admit... they are helping," Finn said

"It is but I'm not 100% sure ab-"

"Oh!" Finn said cutting off Roxy, "I think I figured out how to defeat the battle cubes!"

"That's 'cause you had time to rest your body and refresh your brain," Jake said finishing off an orange slice.

Roxy, Finn, and Jake stand up ready for battle.

"Ok! We'll take it from here, guys!" Finn said to the Businessmen.

"Yeah! Good work," Jake said

Finn, Roxy, and Jake run towards the battle cubes. Jake roars and grows large.

"Grab all the cubes together!" Finn said

Jake stretches his hands to become giant and clasps them together, grabbing all the cubes together.

"Got 'em!" Jake shouted.

Finn pulls out a rope and jumps into Jake's hands. After some brief movement under Jake's hand Finn comes out and Jake opens his hands showing that Finn tied the cubes all together.

"It worked!" Finn said he turns down to look at Roxy, "Take em out!"

"Gladly!" Roxy said

She jumped up to Jake's hand and swings her hammer at the cubes sending the far into the distance.

"Haha, their not coming back this time," Roxy said

Finn walks over to Hot Dog Princess who was still asleep on the ground, "Wake up, Hot Dog Princess. You're free."

Hot Dog Princess jumps awake, "Oh! Thank you, Finn, Jake, and Roxy! Especially you, Finn."

Hot Dog Princess stands up on her hind legs and puckers her lips to Finn. Finn immediately gets a disgusted face leaning away from her.

"Ugh. She smells like old hot dog water," Finn whispered to Jake and Roxy.

Jake and Roxy just giggle at Finn. Hot Dog Princess leaned in further but before her lips would make contact with Finn's cheek a businessman steps in between the two taking the kiss.

Hot Dog Princess kept her eye's closed as she giggled and walked away not knowing she didn't kiss Finn.

"I take one for a team," Red-tied Businessmen said to Finn.

"This is awesome! You get a promotion, fella," Finn said

Red-tie businessman cheers and dances around. Hearing this all of the businessmen immediately start kissing Hot Dog Princess saying "take one for a team too".

? ﾟﾌﾭ? ﾟﾌﾭ? ﾟﾌﾭ? ﾟﾌﾭ? ﾟﾌﾭ? ﾟﾌﾭ? ﾟﾌﾭ? ﾟﾌﾭ? ﾟﾌﾭ? ﾟﾌﾭ? ﾟﾌﾭ

The group made their way back to the treehouse, Finn and Jake made their way to the couch and immediately started to play on BMO.

Roxy walked to the kitchen about to make something to snack on. As she grabbed a plate she felt someone else take the plate out of her hands.

"We make food," Red-tied Businessmen said

"Oh no, I've got this-"

Roxy was cut off when a businessman grabs her hand and leads her over to a chair. Soon she's surrounded by other businessmen and props her feet up and takes her shoes off.

"What are you-?"

Another Businessman grabs her hand and brings out a manicure kit while the one at her feet starts to work on her feet.

"Relaxation important for woman," Red-tied Businessmen said

"No, I don't-oh that's good!" Roxy said when a Businessman started to massage her feet.

"Food," A Businessman said presenting Roxy with a bowl of chips.

"Okay this is niiice," Roxy said

While Roxy was enjoying her spa treatment Finn and Jake were getting into their game.

"Oh... Lost again!" Jake said

"My turn," Finn said taking the controller.

Jake gets up from the couch and walks over to a businessman, who was operating a large collection of wires and monitors.

"What's that?" Jake asked as he went into the freezer to get some ice cream.

"Hero vision monitor. Use satellite to tell us world problems," He said

"Oh, wow. Anything going on?" Jake asked

"Just small things. You save stress for big thing," Businessman said

"Freakin' awesome, man," Jake said

He made his way back over to the couch passing by Roxy.

"Enjoying yourself?" Jake asked with a smirk.

"Oh yeeeaaahhh," Roxy said

"What are they doing?" Finn asked as Jake sat down on the couch.

"Takin' care of business," Jake said

Jake turns his hand into an ice cream scoops and scoops a large amount of ice cream into his mouth.

"Jake, hit me!" Finn shouted

Jake flings a scoop of ice cream into Finn's mouth.

? ﾟﾍﾦ? ﾟﾍﾦ? ﾟﾍﾦ? ﾟﾍﾦ? ﾟﾍﾦ? ﾟﾍﾦ? ﾟﾍﾦ? ﾟﾍﾦ? ﾟﾍﾦ? ﾟﾍﾦ? ﾟﾍﾦ?

Time passes on and more ice cream tubs started to stack up around Finn and Jake, and it seems the two have gained some weight.

Roxy, however, had been using the free time to destress. Right now the girl was laying face down on a table wrapped in a towel with a heated rock on her back.

"Mission complete," The videogame said

"Yeah!" Jake shouted as he and Finn jumped up.

"We beat Adventure Master!" Finn shouted

"Holy moly!" Jake said

"We're adventure masters!" Finn said

"Woo! Yes!" Jake said

"Whoooo," Roxy said in a low voice raising her fist lazily.

Finn and Jake jump around shaking their giant guts after a few seconds of jumping they become winded and stop and go sit down.

"Ooo," The two boys huffed out.

"I never knew being fat and lazy was so rewarding," Finn said

"Yeah," Jake pushes Finn's gut, "Your gut is so huge and moldable."

"Hey!" Finn said

"Hold on a sec!" Jake said messing with Finn's gut.

"Haha, Man, that tickles," Finn said

Jake molds Finn stomach to make Ice King's face.

"I'm the Ice King, and I'll never find a bride because I'm such a tool," Jake said in the Ice King's voice.

"Haha, Alright, let me try," Finn said grabbing his gut.

He shapes his gut to form Princess Bubblegum.

"I'm Princess Bubblegum and I'm a dork, because I like science! I've also got a really annoying voice that Finn thinks is attractive!" Finn said as Princess Bubblegum.

"Haha, That's a- Hey, what'd you say?" Jake said

Before the awkward moment could continue Finn and Jake her a cry for help.

"Ahh! Oh, my gosh! Leave me alone. All I said was "you're ugly," which is totally true. Somebody help me! Oh no!" LSP said on a monitor running from a swamp giant.

Finn and Jake struggle to get off of the couch and stand in front of the monitor.

"Man, I am not in the mood for saving Lumpy Space Princess," Jake said

"Hey, business dudes!" Finn said

The Businessman all run into the room from various places and stand next to the boys.

"What do you guys think?" Finn asked

"Hmm... Just one monster. We do," Red-tied Businessmen said before the men run off.

One comes back and brings Roxy a lemonade before running back out.

"Thanks, man," Roxy said

"Right. We'll just save our strength for the big adventures, then," Jake said

Finn and Jake plop back down onto the couch with a heavy sigh.

"Ahh. Nice call, dude," Jake said

"Imagine how awesome the adventure's going to be when it's time for us to go out there," Finn said

"It's gonna be a rad man," Roxy said from the table.

"I'm too tired to imagine stuff, but I bet you're right," Jake said

Finn and Jake pick up a carton of ice cream and hold up for a toast, "To being great adventurers!" They said

Roxy raised her glass of lemonade, "Cheers!"

Finn and Jake both begin shoveling ice cream into their mouths while Roxy fell asleep on the table. After about 20 minutes Finn and Jake had stuffed themselves with ice cream, their faces were covered in vanilla ice cream and so were their shirts. Thier guts are even bigger, and Finn's gut was poking out of his shirt.

"ZZZZZZZZZZZ!"

Roxy was passed out on the table snoring.

Finn and Jake both groan and waiver until they fall over and off of the couch.

"Oh, gosh," Finn said

Finn and Jake groan some more holding their stomachs.

"Help us!"

Roxy jumps awake and falls off of the table with a loud thud.

"Huh? Jake! Roxy! Did you hear that?" Finn asked in an alarmed tone.

"Yeah. Let the businessmen handle it," Jake said laying down on the floor.

"Help! Please!"

Roxy sits up from the floor peeking over the table holding the towel around her so that it wouldn't fall off.

"What's going on? Who's screaming?" Roxy asked slightly groggy.

"I heard it again," Finn said

"Businessmen, dude," Jake said

"Heeeeeelp!"

Finn struggles to get up and then walks over to the window and gasps, seeing the businessmen in a large robot shaped like Finn, sucking up Fuzzy Friends into a container.

"We messed up! The businessmen have gone bat-crazy!" Finn shouted

"Wait what!?" Roxy screamed standing up now fully awake. She runs over to the window still in the towel and gasps when she see's the problem, "Holy muffins!"

"Man, just lets the businessmen handle it," Jake said

"THE BUSINESSMEN ARE THE PROBLEM, you lazy plug-hole!" Finn shouted at Jake.

"Huh?" Jake said surprised

Finn sticks himself out of the window, "Guys!" Finn yelled trying to grab the businessmen's attention. He jumps out of the window and climbs down the tree to the bottom.

Roxy ties the top of her towel tight and follows Finn outside the window. She grabs onto a vine and slides down the side of the house to the bottom.

Finn and Roxy run up to the robot yelling, "Guys stop!"

"Stop it, guys!" Finn shouted

"Hey, stop!" Roxy yelled waving her arms.

"Stop what, boss?" Red-tied Businessmen asked

"You're jacking up those Fuzzy Friends!" Finn yelled

"But... We're being heroes. Like you, boss. We're protecting them. Collecting them in our care-sack so they cannot be hurt. It's the most efficient way to save people," Red-tied Businessmen said

"That's not how you be hero's," Roxy yelled

"You're making them unhappy!" Finn yelled

"Irrelevant! These people are in our care-sack. Their happiness is not priority," Red-tied Businessmen said

"I am your boss! And you guys are all fired!" Finn yelled

"Fi-red?"

The businessmen get an angry look on their faces and shout angrily. They start sucking up the Fuzzy Friends even faster than before. They rampage across the field in the robot and it crushes one of the Fuzzy Friends.

"Oh, my glob!" Roxy yelled. Her face turns red and she brings out her hammer.

"Nooo! Alright, guys. Now I've gotta take you down... Finn style," Finn yelled

Finn runs over to the robot and gets sucked up in the care-sack.

Roxy grips her hammer and goes to hit the robot but as she went to take a swing at that she too was sucked up in the care sack leaving her hammer behind. She lands on the fuzzy friends next to Finn.

Finn and Roxy stand up and start kicking the inside of the care-sack.

"We're kicking your care-sack, dudes!" Finn yelled

Jake stuck his head out of the window holding another carton of ice cream, "Finn? Roxy? Whoa... Crud." He tries to go out of the window and gets stuck because of how large he had gotten. He pulls and struggles and finally squeezes out of the window and falls to the ground in a heavy plop.

"Ahh. I'm so fat, dude's; I don't know what to do," Jake said

"*GASP* That's it!" Roxy and Finn said looking down at Jake.

"Jake! Demoralize them!" Finn said

"What? Why?" Jake asked

"Do it, man! I have a legit plan!" Roxy yelled

"Ok, Alright," Jake said, he looks up at the businessmen, "Hey! You guys are horrible at business!"

The businessmen lash about angrily and try to suck Jake up into their care-sack, but since he's so fat he easily gets stuck in the tube.

"Huh? They're sucking me up, dude!" Jake yelled

"Now, eat that ice cream some more to become fatter," Roxy yelled

"Also using your Stretchy Powers to grow huge!" Finn said

Jake shoves his head into the ice cream carton and chows down on the ice cream and starts getting bigger and bigger.

Jake grows huge and gets sucked up in the tube making it grow larger and larger.

"This sucks," Jake said

"Yeah, dude! Keep growin'! You're breaking apart their robot!" Finn shouted

The robot begins to shake violently, and the businessmen scream.

"Oh no!" Roxy yelled

*BOOM*

The robot explodes sending everyone flying into the air.

"I'm going to kill you, not-boss!" Red-tied Businessmen said trying to grab at Finn.

"Wait, man! Wait! I wanna re-hire you guys!" Finn said

Red-tie businessman stops trying to grab Finn and has a surprised look on his face, "Re-hire? Really?"

"Yeah, man," Finn said with a smile.

The group stops going up and starts falling down.

"Woo hoo!" The Businessmen cheer as they grab Finn and Roxy's hands in a circle, but leave out Jake who just freefalls by himself.

? ﾟﾕﾴ? ﾟﾕﾴ? ﾟﾕﾴ? ﾟﾕﾴ? ﾟﾕﾴ? ﾟﾕﾴ? ﾟﾕﾴ? ﾟﾕﾴ? ﾟﾕﾴ? ﾟﾕﾴ?

After the group landed one of the businessmen gave Roxy his jacket because throughout all of this she was still in her towel. Once she got dressed Finn brought the group to a beach, joined with the Fuzzy Friends.

"Yay! Hip-hip hooray! Pancakes!" The Fuzzy Friends shouted

The group was sitting on the beach waving at to ocean. Floating away was the businessman in an iceberg.

"So, wait... What'd you hire them to do?" Jake asked

"I hired them to stuff themselves in that iceberg and get outta here," Finn said

"Sweet idea," Roxy said

"*Sigh* I'm gonna miss 'em. And I'm gonna miss this gut," Jake said

Jake uses his stretching powers to shrink back down to his normal size.

"Haha, I'm gonna miss my gut too," Finn said

Finn strains and tries to suck his gut in but realizes that it won't work.

"Aww! Aww…" Finn said

"Haha, guess it's time for your big sister Rox to whip you back into shape," Roxy said with a laugh and jiggling Finn's stomach.

Finn just looks down with a frown and sighs.


	10. Memories of Boom Boom Mountain

**Memories of Boom Boom Mountain**

The day was going pretty good for Roxy. She was sitting at a table eating a large leg of mutton watching men wrestle around.

"Haha now this is entertainments, go Finn!" Roy said

Finn and Jake had brought Roxy to Marauder Village.

The Head Marauder was fighting Finn and the Head Marauder fighting, "You're not too bad for a human boy!"

"Not too bad!? I'm better than that!" Finn continues to fight but pauses when he hears the sound of crying in the distance, "Huh? Jake! Roxy! Do you guys hear that?"

Jake who was riding a bucking half-stag half-marauder looks over at Finn, "What'd you say? Whoa!" Jake gets tossed over to Finn as Roxy walks over.

"I think someone's crying, "The Head Marauder jumps on Finn knocking him over, "Stop!" Finn knocks the Head Marauder off of him, "This is serious! I gotta go find out where that crying is coming from!" Finn shouted before walking away.

"Get back here you chickeeeen!" Head Marauder called out

All of the Marauders oooooohhhhh at this.

"Oh no," Roxy said

Finn quickly turns around, "What did you call me?"

"You can't just walk away from a roughhouse!" Head Marauder said

Finn runs back and jumps on top of a table, "Hey! Listen up you cold-hearted marauders! Someone's out there crying for help and I'm not gonna ignore that!"

"Awwww here it comes! Lay it down Finn!" Jake said

"A long time ago when I was a baby, I went boom boom on a leaf. Boom! Boom! And I fell backwards and sat in my own boom boom. I cried for a day. But no one came to help me. That day I vowed to help anyone in need! No matter how small their problem. And that's why I need to go," Finn finished his story and ran off towards the crying followed by Roxy who was still chomping on her mutton.

The Head Marauder starts a slow clap and soon the others follow.

"He still cries when he poops. Thanks for being cool guys. Wait up, you guys!" Jake said going after the two humans.

As the three make their way up the mountain they dodge boulders that rolled down. Roxy was dodging still eating. She dodges a boulder coming towards her head and protects the mutton in her hand, "Haha no one's getting my mutton, the deliciousness belongs in my belly!"

"The cryings comin' from up there!" Jake said

"Someone must be caught in that avalanche! Let's get it on!," Jake grows large allowing Finn and Roxy to jump onto his back, "So, who's crying?"

"I am."

The three look up to see the mountain itself talking.

"Whoa! Aww, what's wrong fella? You cryin' boulders?" Finn asked

"Yes, I am sad. Having been forced to watch roughhousing men for centuries," Mountain Man said still crying.

"Ohhhh! I see. You're feeling left out and you wanna roughhouse too! Well, I can take you on tough guy! Come on Jake! Back me up!" Finn said starting to punch the side of the mountain.

"Yeah, do it, Finn! Hit 'im with a boulder! And then hit 'im with another rock! Wanna join Roxy?!" Jake said

"Nah, I'm good here *CHOMP*," Roxy said sitting on a boulder.

"Please! No roughhousing! It…m-makes…me…soooo.. SAD!" Mountain Man said crying, even more, boulders.

"Huh? Why?" Finn questioned

"Because they're so rough on each other!" Mountain Man said

"B-B-But a smooth well-controlled roughhouse bolsters your guts and rejuvenate the muscle," Finn said

"No! It's raunchy and maddening! All those men and their disgusting fantastic bodies!" Mountain Man said angrily.

"I find it entertaining," Roxy said

"How could you find that entertaining?!" Mountain Man said

"Whoa. This guy's got problems," Jake said

Finn gasps and gets a vacant look in his eyes. Roxy looks at Finn weirdly and waves the bone of her now fully devoured mutton in his face.

"Yo, Finn you okay their little bro?" Roxy questions.

Finn snaps out of his little stupor, "I'll help you mountain!"

"Whoa! What!" Jake said

"I'll stop those rough housers from being rough!" Finn declared

"Really? You'd do that for me?" Mountain Man asked happily.

"Yes, sir! My names Finn and I'm gonna help you out!" Finn said

"That's gonna be tough order to fill," Roxy said

"Rox's is right Finn, we're not gonna shut down the roughhouse for real are we?" Jake questioned

"No way! But there's got to be some kind of solution. I'll figure this out Mountain Man!" Finn said before jumping down the mountain.

* * *

Finn, Jake, and Roxy made their way back to the Marauders village.

"Aw! Finn! Ready to get destroyed!" Head Marauder exclaimed

"N-nooo! Wait, um, actually, could you guys stop being so rough," Finn said

"What!?" A Marauder screamed hitting his head on a table.

"Huh? I was expecting a much worse reaction," Roxy said

"Whoa whoa whoa! What are you talking about Finn?" Head Marauder questioned

"Could you guy just tone down the roughhousing a little?" Finn asked

"What!?" Another Marauder screamed slamming his head on a table too.

"Whoa! Hey, hey. Shh. It's all right fellas. Finn, I'm sure this tone down the roughing thing has something to do with your boom boom, and I can respect that, but how can we POSSIBLY, Make roughhousing, Less rough?!" Head Marauder shouted

Finn gets a thoughtful look before spotting two animals on the ground, "I think I have a perfect idea!" Finn picks up the animals and goes around tying them onto the hands of the marauders, "This'll soften your punches for smooth knock outs. Like punching a dream!"

The Head Marauder punches someone and the ducks on his hand quacks.

"Ha! Ha! Pigs on my knees! Pigs on my knees!" Someone yelled before kneeing someone else in the face.

"That's like math," Jake said fist bumping Finn.

"Mathematical," Finn, Jake, and Roxy made their way back to the Mountain, "What do ya think? Fixed all your problems right!" Finn asked the Mountain Man.

"No! That was terrible! Now they're just punching animals! It's worse than before and it's in no way a good solution!" Mountain Man said

"I'm sorry!" Finn said

"Well, you should be! It's not fair to those animals and it's not fair to me! I might just start to cry again, you know?" Mountain Man said as he started crying.

"Aw, man," Jake said

"Uggghhh," Roxy said dragging her hands down her face.

"Come on Jake, Rox, I gotta give this another shot!" Finn said

"Finn this guy seems like a real nut job. You know what I mean? I don't wanna get sucked into this guy's hang-ups," Jake said

"Yeah, man he seems a little ya know bonkers. You really wanna help?" Roxy said

"Yes, I do. That's what I vowed! To help anyone in need! No matter how small their problem! *Boom Boom* At least I have to try," Finn said

"So be it, brother," Jake said

"So be it," Roxy said clenching her left fist. She slowly brings up her right fist and takes a bite out of her new mutton.

* * *

"Hey, guys. I'm back. Hey, guys. Guys? Men! Men. Please stop a second. Men! Boys? Please? I have more to ask of you! Bros? My bros? Brother?" Finn questioned petting one of the Marauders.

"What? Did you just pet me? I'll pet you! Pet pet! Heeeey! Pet pet," A Marauder said petting Finn, "Hey this is great!" He goes to per another Marauder.

"Hey! Did you just pet me?!"

"Yeah! I did!"

"Well, I'll pet you back! Wha-whoa. What the-? This is awesome!"

All of the Marauder's start going around petting each other, which stops all of the roughhousing.

"Alright! This could be it!" Finn said

"Finn! Hahaha! You're really mixin' things up in the best of ways today!" Head Marauder said

"Maybe you can solve everyone's problems. Like a cherub with its bottom out," Jake said as he was being petted by other animals.

Roxy just lets out a satisfying burp as she laid out on a table with a plate of mutton and bones next to her, "Good job man," Roxy said lazily.

"Haham Okay, cool. Hey, I'm gonna go tell the mountain," Finn said

"Alright I'm gonna-stay here this time," Jake said

"Me too man," Roxy said

Finn left to go to the mountain as Roxy rolled up on the table hugging a leg of mutton close to her.

Roxy let out a large yawn, "I think I'm going into a food coma. No one touch my mutton."

While Roxy drifted off to sleep Finn made his way back to the Marauder's village.

"So the mountain is totally fine with everyone petting. I feel great," Finn said

"Right on man! The marauders are going crazy over the petting! They're petting each other raw! Check 'em out!" Jake said

The two look at the Marauders and see that parts of their skin was looking raw and pink.

"They look kinda rashy," Finn said

"Hey, Finn! Hey man. As you can see the petting got sorta out of hand," Someone comes up to the Head Marauder and tries to pet him but he slaps their hand away, "Stop that! We are done with that! We're going back to roughhousing!"

"No, wait fellas! The mountain doesn't like roughhousing," Finn shouted

"Well, we don't like not roughhousing! Ya, see the problem here?" Head Marauder said

"Well. Well, what if we rotate the entire mountain 180 degrees around, so the mountain's facing the other direction. That way, you guys can keep roughhousing and the mountain doesn't have to watch it!" Finn said

"Sounds fine with me!" Head Marauder said

"What do ya say mountain!" Finn shouted up to the mountain.

"That's okay. Only if you guys promise to stay healthy and not roughhouse after you rotate me," Mountain Man said

"That mountain can talk?" Head Marauder asked

"Just promise him anything, he's out of his gourd," Jake said

"Yeah! We'll stay healthy!" Head Marauder said

"Oh! Thank goodness! Alright kids, spin me the math around!" Mountain Man said

"Jake wake up Roxy we're gonna need help. Now I just need to set up some sort of pulley system," Finn said

Jake walked over to Roxy who was sleeping soundly curled up with her mutton. He pokes the teen girl but she just lets out a snort and rolls over.

As Finn continued to think about how to move the Mountain Man and Jake tried shaking Roxy awake they heard a loud feminine voice.

"No! Over here! Don't turn him around! If you do, I'll miss looking at his beautiful back! It's gorgeous!"

Everyone looked behind the Mountain Man and saw a Mountain Lady.

"Huh? What? Really!?" Mountain Man said surprised.

"What!? A-but-ahh. Um, maybe what we can do is…" Finn said

As Finn was thinking small mushroom people walked up to Finn.

"Excuse me. We need your help. There's no music playing and we desperately want to dance!"

"Ooh, aah just a second you guys. I'll a- I'll help you out in one minute," Finn said

"Hey! Pipe down over there! I want some peace and quiet!" A Coalman said

"Let me just a-"

"I need to be pollinated!" A Cactus Creature shouted out cutting off Finn.

"Huh!?

"Pollinated all over to make my babies!" The Cactus Creature said

"Everybody, please! One problem at a time!" Finn said

"RAAGGGHH! My butt's itchy, but I can't scratch it!" A dragon said

"This water's too cold!" An ice cube man said sitting in a puddle of water.

"Mommy! Please keep the flies away from our mommy," Some fish said as their fish mother was out of the water with flies flying around her.

"That guy stole our triangle," Electroids said

"They swiped my plum," A Toad said

"We wanna roughhouse! We wanna roughhouse!" The Marauders chanted.

"I'm naked! HAHAHA!" An old man cackled

"What's happening!" Mountain Man said freaking out.

All of the demands started to get to Finn and started freaking out, "Ahhhhh! Everybody wants different things! And some of them want stuff that's exactly the thing the others don't want.

"Whoa, dude. Hold on. So this guy wants this and that guy wants that, but man. What do you want?" Jake asked

Finn gets a look on his face and blanks out.

"ROX WAKE UP! SOMEONE'S STEALING YOUR MUTTON!" Jake shouted shaking her.

"WHA! MY MUTTON!" Roxy said bolting awake. Roxy blinked a few times and looked around, "Uhhh what's going on?"

"Everybody's freaking out and wants something?!" Jake said

Before Roxy could say anything Finn appears.

"*GASP* Hmm. Jake. Roxy. What I want is to help anyone in need, so everyone is happy!" Finn said

"Haha, Wow, that's pretty corny man, but let's do it, dude! Woohoo!" Jake said

"Uh yeah, uh cool, still no sure what's going on," Roxy said

* * *

Finn set to work quickly directing everyone for his master plan to help everyone. After a while, everything was finally set up.

Finn pulled out a megaphone, "Ready over there mushroom gang?"

"Ready Finn!"

"Ready dragon?" Finn asked

"Yes, sir!"

"Ready Mountain Man?" Finn asked

"Haha…I'm ready," Mountain Man said

"Go!"

The Marauders begin roughhousing with strings attached to their limbs. The strings make several fans blow and the fans blow away the flies on the fish mother, as well as playing music.

"Yay! The flies are leaving!"

The flies fly to the coal man and plug the coal man's ears, "Heh. Can't hear a thing!" He throws coal rocks onto two teeter-totters which has a plum and triangle on it. This gives the toad back his plum and the Electroids back their triangle, making them cheer.

The Mushroom Creatures hear the music and begin to dance in the flowers which then pollinate the cactus, "Pollen! Here they come!" She buds and the babies fall off.

The dragon scratches his butt on the cactus, "Oh yeah!" The dragon then blows out some fire melting the Ice Cube Creature.

Steam rises up and the Naked Wizard grabs a chunk and puts it on his head, "Not naked!"

The steam continues to rise up and blocks the Mountain Man's view, "Hey, I can't see anything! Is anyone roughhousing?"

"No!" Jake and Roxy yelled to the Mountain Man.

"Radical," Mountain Man said

"And I can still see this gorgeous back!" Mountain Lady said

"Thank you, Finn! You really helped everybody!" Mountain Man said

The Marauders cheer and lift Finn up.

"Stop! I've got a problem," Jake said

"Well, what's the matter?" Finn asked

"This dolphin fell in love with me!" Jake said

"That's the opposite of a problem!"

* * *

Finn and Jake make their way to the beach and catch a ride on their new dolphin.

"Adventure Time!"

Roxy was laid out on the beach with a pair of sunglasses on.

"Ahhhhh," Roxy said leaning back into the sand. She pulls out a leg of Mutton, "Adventure Time."


	11. Wizard

**Wizard**

Finn, Jake, and Roxy were currently walking through the Grass Lands.  
"Hey, Jake," Finn asked  
"Yeah?" Jake said  
"You ever wonder what a demon's heart looks like?" Finn asked  
"Of course, dude," Jake said  
"What about you Roxy?" Finn asked  
"Hmmmm, know that you say it, I do," Roxy said  
"You guys ever wonder what a demon's heart tastes like?" Finn asked  
Before either Jake or Roxy could answer a creepy skeleton man in a cloak appeared.  
"Hey, kid...You want some magic powers? Magic powers for absolutely free…" The guy said  
"Heck yeah!" Finn said  
"Wait! Let's not be too rash! Just look at this guy!" Jake said  
The three look over at the guy and see him cackling menacingly.  
"Check out the sunken, lifeless eyes...The foul stench of decay...You know what that means?" Jake described  
"Means he's evil, I guess," Finn replied  
"He looks like the Grim Reaper to me," Roxy said  
"Well, evil, sure...but mostly, he's unattractive, and unattractive people are desperate. You should haggle with him!" Jake said  
"Uh?" Roxy said confused  
"Hey! I want more than just free powers! What else ya got?!" Finn said over to the reaper like guy.  
"Alright...Free magical powers and…," The guy pulls his left arm off, "Eh! And this keychain."  
"Whoa," Roxy said  
Finn starts jumping up and down, "OH! OH! OH!"  
"Play it cool, Finn," Jake whispered  
"Right, I begrudgingly accept your offer," Finn said  
Storm clouds suddenly begin to cluster above the guy.  
"Yes...Then the deal is struck! WAHAHAHAHAHA! You can pick up your powers right through that door," The guy said as a menacing looking door appeared, "This way…"

* * *

 **A floating door opens and it drops out Roxy, Finn, and Jake. The three stand up to see that they're in front of a large temple.  
** **"** **This place looks magical. You think this is where we get the powers?" Finn asked  
A door behind the opens and the large frogman dressed in wizard robes appears, "Yes, I do. Free powers for all. Want some?"  
** **"** **Yeah! Are you the guy handing 'em out?" Finn asked  
** **"** **You seek Bufo, the wizard!" The Frog said  
** **"** **So, where's that guy?" Finn asked  
The Frog points at his chest, "He is here, of course."  
** **"** **Uh…" Finn said  
** **"** **He's here... but he's not you," Jake said  
** **"** **That's right," The Frog said**

 **"** **I'm confused," Roxy said  
Jake made his first grow large and he pointed at the frog, "We should beat 'im up until he starts makin' sense!"  
** **"** **Agreed," Roxy said summoning her hammer.  
The Frog pulls back in fear and then puffs out his neck. A clear sack appears and several Tadpoles emerge.  
** **"** **We are Bufo!" The Tadpoles said simultaneously.  
** **"** **Ohhhh…" Finn said as Jake put away his fist and Roxy put away her hammer.  
As the Tadpoles talked one of them seemed to be lagging behind making the words somewhat muffled, "So...you wish to be inducted into the ancient order of—Dang it, Leonard! If we don't talk at the same time, nobody can understand us!"  
** **"** **Sorry...geez…" Leonard said  
** **"** **Ahem...So...You want free wizard powers...Powers like…" Bufo's hands begin to glow and he thrust them in the air creating fireworks and explosion, "these!"  
** **"** **Hahaha! Yeah! We want 'em! Give us the stuff!" Finn said jumping up and down.  
** **"** **Oh, boy!" Jake said  
** **"** **Cool. I wanna blow stuff up!" Roxy said  
** **"** **Then follow..." Bufo said mysteriously as he glided back inside the temple.  
** **"** **Whoo-hoo!"  
** **"** **Whoo!"  
Finn and Jake cheered as they followed after Bufo.  
Roxy just smiled and casually walked in.**

* * *

 **As the four made their way inside the temple there were several other people present practicing magic.  
** **"** **Behold the Grand Hall of Wizardry! This is where young potentials train to become Ultimate Wizards! Most are not ready for the responsibility that comes with it," Bufo said  
** **"** **I'm responsible, dude!" Finn said  
** **"** **Yeah! So am I!" Jake said  
** **"** **That's a lie!" Finn said with a smile.  
** **"** **It is a lie...and I take full responsibility for it!" Jake said  
Bufo looks over to Roxy. She just smiles and just shrugs her shoulders.  
** **"** **Yes, yes...very responsible," Bufo's hands glow, "Now I bestow upon you these wizard cloaks!" These cloaks appear in the air floating above, Roxy, Jake, and Finn.  
** **"** **Whoa!" The three said  
The cloaks fall and the three lift their arms up putting the cloaks on.  
** **"** **Hey! This is a dress!" Finn said  
** **"** **Yeah! And I am into it! It's, like, gossamer!" Jake said  
Roxy looks down at her cloak, "Hmmmm….maybe it could use a little tailoring."  
Finn stuffs the bottom of the cloak into his shorts and takes off the hood, making him look ridiculous, "This way I won't be embarrassed!"  
** **"** **Fine, fine. Now for every power that you accrue," Bufo creates star badges, "you shall receive a star badge like these," Bufo points at his chest, "This final star betokens the rank of Ultimate Wizard!"  
** **"** **Mark me, you two. I shall have that final star! Where do we start?!" Finn asked  
** **"** **Level 1—Dustomancy," Bufo said  
** **"** **Dustomancy?" Roxy questioned  
** **"** **Yeah! Dustomancy! Whatever that is! Gimme gimme gimme gimme gimme!" Finn said jumping up and down.  
** **"** **To receive this power, you must first...eat these brooms," Bufo said making three brooms magically appear. He gives the brooms to Finn, Jake, and Roxy.  
** **"** **Alright," Finn said taking the broom.  
Roxy looks at the broom with a confused expression, "I wanted to blow stuff up not eat brooms."  
Finn and Jake immediately start eating the broom, "Ah, wait!" Finn spits out splinters and sticks tongue out, showing splinters all over his tongue, "This is gross! Man, I can't eat this!"  
** **"** **Yeah, you can! Do what I do! RAAAAWR!" Jake grows to an enormous size and swallows the broom whole. He shrinks back to his normal size, but the broom remains the same size, "Oops, Ah, there we go."  
A star forms on Jake's cloak.  
** **"** **Whoooaaa! You got a star!" Finn said  
** **"** **Haha! Observe my magics!" Jake said  
** **"** **Wait, Jake! Don't use 'em until we finish our brooms!" Finn said  
He immediately starts gnawing on her broom.  
Roxy looks down at her broom and then sighs, "Alright fine." Roxy goes to take a bite out the broom but it glows pink making her scream and drop it, "What the drip!" The broom stops glowing and it was completely crystallized, "Uhhhh, I don't know what happened." Roxy picks up the crystal broom and sniffs it, "It smells sweet." She licks the broom, "Wow it's really sweet like rock candy!"  
** **"** **Oh oh do mine!" Finn said  
Roxy touches Finn's broom but nothing happens. She taps the broom several times but still nothing happens.  
** **"** **Sorry little bro," Roxy said  
** **"** **Aw man," Finn said going back to gnaw on his broom.  
Roxy goes back to eating her broom kind of enjoying it since it was made of rock candy.  
** **"** **Hmmmm, very interesting," Bufo said staring at Roxy.**

* * *

 **Finn, Jake, and Roxy were now sitting on the floor. Roxy had long finished her broom and had a star on her robe. Jake and her were now waiting for Finn to finish his. He had just one bite left.  
** **"** **Last...bite…," Finn said before putting the piece of broom in his mouth.  
As soon as he swallows the last piece a star appears on his chest.  
** **"** **Dude, you got your star, too!" Jake said  
** **"** **WE'RE DUSTOMANCERS!" Finn starts waving his hands around making grunting noises trying to use his new powers, "Nothing happened! This is a total ripoff! Bufo! You tricked us! Stupid power doesn't even work!"  
** **"** **Calm yourself, boy," Bufo said hitting Finn, "You are acting hysterical. Do you not see that you are using Dustomancy? Behold…"  
A floating dust speck appears in front of Finn.  
** **"** **I'm doing this? So...I have—"  
** **"** **Yes. Mastery over all dust motes. You can also read their emotions. For instance, this mote is very unhappy in his marriage," Bufo said pointing to one.  
** **"** **Well, that's...sorta cool," Jake said  
"Meh," Roxy said  
"Sorta cool?! THIS IS RADICAL!" Finn said  
** **"** **Whoo, yeah! Force that enthusiasm!" Jake said  
** **"** **Are you going to try out your new powers?" Bufo asked Roxy.  
** **"** **Nah, I'll just wait til we start the magic that blows stuff up," Roxy said  
** **"** **Very well then. Are you ready for more magic?" Bufo asked  
** **"** **We get more?!" Finn asked  
** **"** **So much more...like Level 2...the power of...Shadowcery!" Bufo said summoning blindfolds onto the three, "You can't see through those, right?"  
** **"** **Nope...Not at all," Jake said  
** **"** **To gain provenance over the shadows, place your hands into" Bufo summons a bowl of grapes, "this bowl!"  
** **"** **What bowl?" Jake and Roxy asked  
** **"** **No! Cover your eyes!" Bufo said  
** **"** **Mmmm, fine…" Jake said  
** **"** **No need to be angry," Roxy said  
** **"** **Thrust your hands into this bowl...of eyeballs," Bufo said  
** **"** **Eyeballs?!" Finn exclaimed  
** **"** **Dude, it's okay. They're just peeled grapes," Jake said  
** **"** **No! They're eyeballs…" Bufo said before grinning mischievously.  
Finn, Roxy, and Jake put their hands in the bowl making disgusted noises as they felt around the bowl.  
** **"** **Well done. You have groped the eyeballs fearlessly," Bufo said  
They each get a new star on their cloaks.  
** **"** **Another star! Yeah! Shadowcery…" Finn morphs his shadow into a three-dimensional form of a horse and the horse neighs. "Onward, my shadow steed!" Finn said trying to sit on the horse," but as he tries to jump on the horse he phases through it and falls to the ground, "Huh?"  
** **"** **No touchies," The horse said before it disappeared.  
** **"** **Wizard powers are so cool...I want ALL THE STAR BADGES!" Finn said  
** **"** **Haha!" Roxy just giggles at her brother's enthusiasm.**

? ﾟﾅﾾ? ﾟﾆﾃ? ﾟﾅﾶ? ? ﾟﾅﾸ? ﾟﾅﾴ

Level 3 - The three balance pencils on their lips.  
"Excellent," Bufo said  
They are each rewarded with their third stars and the power of hair creation. Jake chuckles and makes himself a mustache. Roxy joins in and grows her hair out to create a 6-foot long braid.  
Level 8 - Finn, Roxy, and Jake spin coins by flicking them.  
"Well done," Bufo said  
The three of them are given the power of mayonnaise creation. Finn and Jake start to feed themselves with mayonnaise. Roxy just makes a gagged out face watching the two.  
On the next challenge, Finn flips a hammer and is rewarded with a star.  
Jake puts an orange slice in his mouth to create a fake smile and is rewarded with a star.  
Roxy plays a game of whack a mole and is given a star.  
All three balance themselves on tilted chairs.  
Level 15 - Jake is rewarded with Beauteous Wings.  
Level 27 - Finn is rewarded with the Vorpal Hand.  
Level 29 - Roxy creates flowers, but for some reason, their all crystallized. Bufo rubs his chin as he narrows his eyes at the young teen.  
Level 31 - Finn, Roxy, and Jake are granted the power of firework creation. They laugh and cheer as they blast fireworks into the night sky.

 _ **?**_ _ **ﾝﾒﾩ**_ _ **? ❁? ?**_ _ **￢ﾝﾀ**_ _ **?**_ _ **ﾝﾒﾯ**_ _ **?**_ _ **ﾝﾒﾢ**_ _ **?**_

"All we're missing now is the big star! You ready to complete the set?" Finn said  
"Nah, I'm good," Jake said  
"Me too," Roxy said making more fireworks.  
"WHAT?! How can you stop now?" Finn said  
"Eh...I've got everything I need. A limitless supply of mayonnaise, this captivating new hairstyle...and I just learned the best spell of all!" Jake said  
"What's that?" Finn asked  
"Sleep," Jake said  
Jake cast a spell and makes himself fall asleep.  
Finn turns to Roxy who was laughing blowing up more fireworks.  
"Aw...What lame-o's. Bufo! I'm ready to get that big star!" Finn said  
"To tell true, the last power is not free," Bufo said  
"Wha? You can't do this to me, man! I've got no money!" Finn said  
"No, no cash. For the final star, you must take the pledge of ultimate responsibility," Bufo said  
"Okay. I'll take that pledge," Finn said nonchalantly.  
"Are you sure? Perhaps you are not sufficiently familiar with-"  
Finn cut off Bufo, "I'm ready!"  
"Well, there may be ramifications that you cannot-"  
"Just let me take that pledge, man!" Finn said impatiently.  
"My word, I've never met someone so irresponsibly responsible. Very well, then. You must...grasp my hand," Bufo said putting his hand out.  
"That's it?" Finn grabs Bufo's hand, "Easy!" He shines with a magnificent light as a big star glows on his cloak. As this is happening cords wrap around Finn and pull him up into the air, "Huh? My big star! Yes! Wha-hoo! Yeah! Wait, where am I?" Finn looks around to see him in a room with other wizards.  
"Direct your attention to the scale-model orb," Bufo said  
"Huh?" Finn looks at the orb and sees an asteroid heading towards the temple, "Is that an asteroid heading for this very temple?"  
"Yes. It's been heading for this temple for 847 years. Only the magic of the ultimate wizards keeps it from getting any closer. Quickly, add your power to that of the orb," Bufo sai  
"Oh, okay. Whoa! I got it! Now, what?" Finn questioned  
"Now I release the elder Jeremy from his pledge. Razzamafoo!" Bufo said  
He cast a spell and one of the eldest wizards is taken down and put in his arms.  
"It's about time…"  
"And you take his place... for the rest of your natural life," Bufo said to Finn.  
"Awesome...Wait, what?!" Finn exclaimed  
"This is what you signed up for when you took the pledge of ultimate responsibility," Bufo said  
"This is what all the wizard training was about?!" Finn stops supplying power, "You tricked me!"  
"Young wizard! The asteroid approaches!" An older wizard said  
"Oh, yeah. Sorry," Finn said putting power back into the orb.  
"I tricked you, of course...but would anyone really volunteer to do this? I'm out," Bufo said walking out the room.

* * *

 **While Finn was being held captive, Roxy's big sister sense's were tingling.  
Roxy looked around the room and only saw a sleeping Jake.  
** **"** **Hmmmm, where's Finn," Roxy questioned out loud suspiciously.  
Suddenly a door appeared and Bufo walked out of it.  
** **"** **BUFO!"  
** **"** **GAH!"  
Bufo jumped back as Roxy shouted out his name.  
** **"** **Where's Finn?" Roxy questioned  
** **"** **Yes, the young boy. He's busy doing wizard stuff," Bufo said not looking at Roxy.  
** **"** **Wizard stuff huh?" Roxy said narrowing her eyes.  
** **"** **Yes, very important wizard stuff," Bufo said  
Roxy just narrows her eyes more making Bufo nervous. Bufo starts to sweat and looks anywhere but Roxy.  
** **"** **Young Roxy, your magic is very strange," Bufo said changing the subject.  
** **"** **Wha-?"  
** **"** **I would like to offer you some special training," Bufo said  
** **"** **Special training?" Roxy questioned  
** **"** **Yes, very special training," Bufo said  
** **"** **Huh-?"  
** **"** **This way my dear," Bufo said leading Roxy through the door he came from.  
** **"** **Oookaayyy," Roxy said  
Roxy walks through the door. When she enters she sees a large orb with a picture of an asteroid falling to the temple.  
** **"** **What's going-?"  
** **"** **Roxy!"  
Roxy looks up to see Finn hanging from a harness with several other wizards.  
** **"** **Finn! What the glob is going on?!" Roxy said  
Before she could react Roxy is shot with a beam of light and trapped in a clear pink box.  
** **"** **What?! What's going on?!" Roxy yelled banging on the walls of the cube.  
** **"** **You shall be perfect," Bufo said  
** **"** **Perfect for what?" Roxy questioned raising an eyebrow.  
Bufo walks over to the globe and presses a panel beneath it on the floor. A slot opens in the floor in the perfect shape of the cube Roxy was in.  
** **"** **As a battery!" Bufo said  
** **"** **A battery!" Roxy and Finn said  
** **"** **Yes, a special magic like yours will provide the perfect source of energy to the temple for many years to come," Bufo said pushing Roxy's cube into the slot.  
The cube glows white while Roxy starts to glow too, and then lights in the room get slightly brighter.  
** **"** **Perfect," Bufo said  
** **"** **Man this is complete trash! Trash I say!" Roxy said beating on the cube's wall. As Roxy angrily beats on the wall the lights grow slightly brighter.  
** **"** **Yes angry you'll provide much more power. Bufo out," Bufo said walking out.  
** **"** **This sucks. Old people! There's gotta be a better way!" Finn said  
** **"** **Nope...This is how the ancient ones wanted it," An old wizard said  
** **"** **NO! I'm not spending eternity as a battery!" Roxy said as the glow of the box flares up.  
** **"** **I've got a younger idea!" Finn said jumping out of the harness, "Stay here Roxy!" Finn said running out of the room.  
** **"** **You fool! Your newfangled thinking will get us all killed!"  
** **"** **Youth culture forever!" Finn yelled running outside.  
** **"** **He's gonna kill us all," One of the old wizards said  
** **"** **Bail," Old Wizard said  
** **"** **Bail, The other said  
They hop out of their harness and run out of the room.  
** **"** **Hey don't leave me here!" Roxy said, "Man this is wonk!" Roxy yelled angrily.  
Roxy's anger started to build up and she furiously pounds on the cube's walls.  
** **"** **LET ME OUT!"  
As Roxy was about to bang on the wall of the cube again the room started to shake violently. She looked up and saw the globe, the asteroid was coming but the temple was being lifted up in the air by Finn.  
** **"** **Whoa go, Finn!" Roxy said  
Unfortunately Finn's power alone wasn't enough. Finn turned to Jake who was sleeping against a tree.  
** **"** **I need some help! Jake! Awaken!" Finn said firing a spell.  
** **"** **Reflect," Jake said reflecting the spell in his sleep.  
The spell hits a rock, and it comes to life.  
** **"** **Hey, I'm alive! What's that up there?" The Rock looks up and see's the asteroid and starts freaking out, "AH! OH, NO!"  
** **"** **Hah...My stupid young idea will be responsible for hundreds of deaths!" Finn said  
** **"** **Come on Finn you can do it!" Roxy cheered kicking the cube still trying to escape.  
Suddenly the other older wizards suddenly appear.  
** **"** **Huh? Old wizards! You ditched your responsibilities to help me!" Finn said  
** **"** **What? No! We left so we wouldn't be killed by that asteroid!" Old Wizard said  
** **"** **Oh, okay, um, since you're here already, could you lend me a hand?" Finn said The Old Wizards and Finn all use their magic powers to create giant hands, they move the village out of the meteor's path. The meteor crashed where the temple was and creates, a giant explosion. This destroys the clothes of the Old Wizards, Finn, and Jake. They drop the temple harshly making which makes Roxy's cube pop out of its slot. The cube falls over and Roxy lands on her back roughly, "Aww my back!" Roxy said, but her bell necklace rings summoning her hammer and the hammer falls on her stomach, "Ah my stomach!" That's when Roxy finally notices her hammer.  
** **"** **Oh yeah, haha I'll just smash my way through," Roxy said picking up her hammer.  
She holds the hammer tightly in her hands and pulls it back but she doesn't notice the head of the hammer glowing bright pink.  
** **"** **RAAGGGHH!" Roxy screamed swinging her hammer forward.  
The hammer smashed through the cube and shatter it like glass.  
** **"** **Whooooo! Freedom!" Roxy cheered, she throws off the cloak and steps on it before running outside.  
When she makes it outside she see's everyone naked but Bufo. Roxy gets angry and grits her teeth. She runs forward towards Bufo anger clear on her face.  
** **"** **Oh...okay...Good idea...Glad I thought of it…" Bufo said about to walk away.  
** **"** **GAHHH! KICK IN THE HEAD!" Roxy yelled kicking Bufo in the back of the head knocking him into the dirt. Roxy turns to Finn and Jake, "Let's go home."  
** **"** **That was nice kick Rox," Jake said  
** **"** **Thanks, man," Roxy said  
** **"** **Hey, naked kid. you want some free...Demon heart?!" The skeleton guy from earlier said appearing with a demon heart in his hand.  
** **"** **Aw, ha ha ha haw, yeah!" Finn said  
** **"** **Full circle!" Jake said  
Roxy just sighs and facepalms herself.**

 **END**


	12. Evicted

**Evicted**

It was night time at the Tree Fort. Finn and Jake were upstairs in the bedroom.

"And as it waded through the carnage that it had wrought, the vampire smashed their skulls just for the fun of it!" Jake said smashing a jelly donut.

"No way!" Finn said

"Yes way, it did. And also the vampire hunched over its victims and breathed their vaporized blood mist," Jake said

"Ah, jeez! Jake, is this stuff you're saying true? Or are you just trying to mess me up? You have, to be honest," Finn said

"Oh, it's true, man. I heard it through a reliable source," Jake said

"Reliable? Rats!" Finn said

"Yeah. Some say it haunted this very tree!" Jake said

"This tree?!" Finn exclaimed

"Hey, guys!"

"AHHHH!" Jake and Finn screamed

Roxy raised her eyebrow staring at the two.

"Okay, I'm just gonna grab my stuff and go. I'm having a girly slumber party with PB," Roxy said grabbing a sleeping bag, "Night boys don't let the vampires bite," Roxy giggled out.

Finn looks slightly scared as Jake smiles again. He goes downstairs saying "Good niiiight…" ominously.

"Jake?" Finn questioned when the dog is out of view.

Jake makes weird noises from downstairs freaking Finn out.

"You're full of it, Jake!" Finn said

Jake keeps making the noises.

"Errr…" Finn said curling up in his bed. He hears a croaking noise and looks down his bed to see a worm crawling across, "NO WORMS ON THE BED!" He picks up the Enchiridion and throws it at the worm knocking it off.

Finn hears a tapping noise and looks over at the window, he sees a tree limb tapping on his window, then a mysterious figure taps on the window.

"Huh?"

Lightning crashes and a scary face appears in the window.

"AAAAAH!" Finn screamed running downstairs, "Jake! Jake! I saw someone outside the window! It must be the vampire, and I think we're unprepared, so I-"

"Relax, buddy. I made that story up. I was just trying to scare you," Jake said

"But you said you heard it from a reliable source!" Finn said

"Ha ha! I made that up, too. I was trying to scare you, and it worked! Hahaha!" Jake said

Suddenly the window blows open and the lights go out, causing Jake to jump and scream.

Finn walks over to the window and closes it, "No one's outside."

"Whew!" Jake said

"It was just the wind, scaredy-cat," Finn said

"I wasn't scared, I was singing. I was singing my scream song. Ahh! Ahh! AAaah-uh-ahh!" Jake said

"You're a total wuss, man," Finn said

A bag drops from the ceiling. Finn and Jake look up and see a vampire who hisses at them. Finn and Jake scream flipping out and falling onto the couch.

"Hey, guys. What's up? I'm Marshall Lee the Vampire King," Marshall Lee said sitting in between Finn and Jake on the couch.

"Are you gonna smash my skull and breathe my blood mist?!" Finn asked afraid.

"Don't suck our blood!" Jake said

"Haha, Calm down, weenies. I'm not gonna do that," Marshall Lee said lighting some candles.

"Soooo, you don't suck blood?" Finn questioned

"Sometimes, I do. But it's not the blood that I like. It's the color. I eat shades of red," Marshall Lee said holding up a strawberry. He sucks the red out of it and hands it to Finn, "Ugh, I am exhausted. I've been traveling all over the Land of Ooo. And I've seen some stuff that would really make you say 'like what?'"

"Like what?" Finn asked

"I encountered a school of goldfish beasts. And I fooled around in the Fire Kingdom," Marshall Lee said

"OOO!" Finn said

"Oh, and check these out," Marshall Lee holds out his hand and shows a bunch of nuts.

"Nuts?" Finn questioned

"Oh, these aren't ordinary nuts," Marshall Lee squeezes his hand with the nuts, he opens his hand and revealed a bunch of tiny creatures. One of them freaks out and squirts Finn in the face with ink.

"Haha, You're wonderful," Finn said

Jake who was still nervous tries to scoot away from Marshall, "Um, yeah. Thank you for not sucking our blood."

"You guys seem cool, too, but as you can imagine, I'm really tired, so you two should probably get going," Marshall Lee said

"What?" Finn questioned

Marshall Lee lets out a sigh and walks over to a picture on the wall, "Look," He lifts up the picture with psychokinesis and reveals an "M" carved into the tree, "'M' for "Marshall Lee."

"Aw, man," Jake said

"I carved in this tree years ago. Way before you two rascals started squatting here," Marshall Lee said picking the two up and flinging them outside in the rain, "But seriously guys, thanks for keeping the place warm for me, I mean really great!"

Marshall Lee shuts the door in their faces, "Good night!"

Finn and Jake are now standing out in the rain with nothing but clothes on their back, and Jake's viola.

"Come on, Finn. Let's get out of here," Jake said

"He can't kick us out of our house!" Finn yelled

"Finn!" Jake said

"Get down here, man, and fight me!" Finn yelled up at a window.

"He's a vampire, dude!" Jake said freaking out.

Marshall Lee sucks the red out of a doughnut and throws out the window and it hits Finn.

"I'm gonna kill him," Finn said

"Dude, if half the stories I've heard, and/or made up are true, vampires will kill you. There's no question!" Jake said

Marshall Lee hisses at them and then walks away, laughing.

"But, what about our home?" Finn questioned

"A VAMPIRE TOOK IT! Aw, we should go house-hunting. Bag us a new house," Jake said

"But I like our home, and what about Roxy?" Finn said

"Finn, house-hunting is wild! You've got to try it, and we'll just leave a note for Roxy. She'll come and join us later," Jake said

"Really?" Finn asked

"Yeah, man! It's gonna be so nuts!" Jake said

"You always know what to say," Finn said

"Bla-bla-bla-ble-ble-bla-bloo-bloop!" Jake said

"Okay. I'm convinced. Let's roll!" Finn said

Jake grows big and covers Finn from the rain, "Sweet, things are gonna start going our way," The two start to walk away and the clouds disappear, "Hey, look, see? What'd I tell ya?"

* * *

"Hahaha!" Marshall Lee laughed as he played with BMO.

*CREAK*

"Huh?" Marshall Lee questioned he got up from his seat on the couch when he heard a creaking noise. Finding nothing he shrugs and goes upstairs. He looks around but sees nothing and goes back stairs. As he flies back downstairs his eyes widened when he sees the back of a girl searching for something.

He's about to question the girl but then gets a smile on his. He creeps behind her with the intent to scare her. He starts to morph his features into that of a monstrous creature and opens his jaw making it look like he was gonna eat her.

Roxy slowly turns around and comes face to face with the monstrous Marshall Lee.

"GAAAAHHHHH!" Roxy screamed pointing at Marshall Lee.

Marshall Lee was about to laugh but it never came out because Roxy threw her fist forward and punched Marshall Lee in the face.

"GAH! My cheek meat!" Marshall Lee said grabbing his face and falling back morphing into his normal form. Roxy stares at the boy and rubs her chin.

"Huh?" Roxy questioned looking down at Marshall Lee, "What's going on here?" She studies Marshall Lee, "Yo, have we met before dude?" Roxy questioned

Marshall Lee looks up at Roxy and finally gets a good look at the girl. His eye's widened as he stares at the girl in disbelief. He stands up and goes over to Roxy and starts to pat her face. Roxy just stands there confused not knowing what was going on. First this guy or demon, whatever he was tried to eat her now he's patting her. Marshall Lee then pinches the girl making her flinch and slap his hand away.

"What's your deal man!?" Roxy said

"Uhhhhh….." Marshall Lee said, He turns away from Roxy and starts pinching his own cheeks, "Okay, not a dream." Marshall Lee said to himself.

"Dream?" Roxy questioned

Marshall Lee quickly stands up straight, he takes a deep breath and turns back around to face Roxy. He puts a smirk on his face and uses his vampire powers to look like he was leaning against a wall.

"Hey," Marshall Lee said cooly to Roxy.

Roxy just makes a confused face and looks away.

"Yeaaaaahhhhhh, who are you?" Roxy questioned

"I'm Marshall Lee the Vampire King. Now, what's a sweet thing like you doing here?" Marshall Lee asked seeming to try to be smooth.

"Uh I live here," Roxy said

"You live here?" Marshall Lee questioned

Roxy deadpans and points behind Marshall Lee. He turns around to see a picture of Roxy. She was holding her hammer and standing on a pile of fallen enemies.

"Oh," Marshall Lee said

"The real question is, as I've asked already, what are you doing here?" Roxy asked starting to get annoyed.

"I live here," Marshall Lee said lifting up another picture to show his M on the tree wall.

"What? You know what, whatever man. Where are my brothers?" Roxy asked

"Brothers?" Marshall Lee questioned

"Yeah. super energetic boy and a yellow dog?" Roxy said

"Oh I kicked them out," Marshall Lee said

"What!?" Roxy said, she runs over to a window and opens it about to jump. As she sticks her leg out she turns to Marshall Lee, "When I find them I'm coming back for you man!" Roxy jumped out of the window with a battle cry screaming for Finn and Jake.

"Yeah see ya later….Roxy," Marshall Lee said

* * *

It turns out Roxy was a pretty good tracker and easily found where Finn and Jake were, well it also helped that they left a mess of complaining people who said that a boy and his dog were trying to overtake their home.

Roxy stood outside of a cave and knocked on the door.

The door opened and revealed Jake.

"JAKE!" Roxy said happily.

"ROXY!" Jake said happily.

The two hug and Jake drags Roxy inside.

"Roxy!" Finn said happily running over to the two.

"Finn!" Roxy said pulling him into the hug, "I'm so glad you two are alright!"

"Hehe, we're happy you found us. Good thing we left you that note," Finn said

"What note?" Roxy questioned

"You didn't get our note?" Jake asked

"Nah," Roxy said

"Then how'd you find us?" Finn asked

"With my sister powers," Roxy said waving her hands around, "So what happened. I met this weird dude who said he lived in the treehouse."

"Yeah that was a vampire he kicked us out," Jake said

"Vampire seriously," Roxy said

"Yep, he stole our house!" Finn said angrily.

"Yeah, but we found this new home," Jake said

"Uh cool," Roxy said, she looked around the cave seeing Finn and Jake were in the middle of fixing the place up, "Well it's not the tree fort but as long as I'm with you two it's home."

"Awww," Jake said, "Come on once we fix the place up were gonna throw a party!"

"Whooo party!" Roxy said

? ﾟﾎﾉ? ﾟﾎﾉ? ﾟﾎﾉ? ﾟﾎﾉ? ﾟﾎﾉ? ﾟﾎﾉ? ﾟﾎﾉ? ﾟﾎﾉ? ﾟﾎﾉ? ﾟﾎﾉ? ﾟﾎﾉ? ﾟﾎﾉ? ﾟﾎﾉ? ﾟﾎﾉ?

Just as Jake said the cave was cleaned up and a party was on. Finn was dancing while Jake was playing his viola. Roxy was leaning against a wall holding a cup of punch.

"Ah this is it, feelin' good, I'm feelin', I'm feelin' like we did it. I'm feelin', like, completely satisfied. Nothin' else could go wrong, ya know?" Finn said

"Yeah, man," Jake said

"Aww, yeah, I know, too," Finn said dancing.

Roxy smiles at Finn as she takes a drink out her cup. She looks behind Finn and then suddenly spits out her drink in surprise. Marshall Lee came in through the front door.

"Hey, Finn," Marshall Lee coming up behind Finn.

"He's back!" Jake screamed

"Wow, pretty awesome party ya got here," Marshall Lee said

"What do you want, Marshall Lee?!" Finn said

"Oh, I just wanna show you somethin'," Marshall Lee walks over to a rock and lifts it up, "This cave belongs to me!"

"What!?" Finn exclaimed

"Thanks for fixing the place up for me," Marshall Lee said

"Y-You can't take our home twice!" Finn said

Marshall Lee pulls out a guitar, "Yes, I caaaannnnnn!"

"AAAAAAAHHHH! It's vampire-fighting time!" Finn yelled raising his fist.

"Finn! Nooo! Vampires will kill you...remember!?" Jake said pulling Finn back.

"Then I'll beat him up!" Roxy said about to run forward.

"NO! Roxy, vampire!" Jake said pulling Roxy back too.

"But he's taking our home again!" Finn said

"We're home as long as we're together, bla-bla-bleep-bla-bloop, remember!?" Jake said

"Oh, yeah. Okay, Marshall Lee, I'm gonna let you keep this cave, but only because Jake is my home along with Roxy, and they're way better than all your homes combined!" Finn said

"Ya know, you're right. I guess I'll take them too!" Marshall Lee said grabbing Jake and Roxy.

Jake screams as he's grabbed and Roxy just shout out in annoyance.

"What!?" Finn yelled

"I'll bite them a little, maybe turn them into zombies," Marshall Lee said holding the two close and barring his fangs.

"Nooo!" Jake said

"My neck is off limits!" Roxy said

"Let go of them!" Finn said

"Make me," Marshall Lee said

Finn slaps Jake out of Marshall Lee's grip, but the vampire pulls away before Finn could grab Roxy.

"You okay, pal?" Finn asked

Marshall Lee starts to transform into a large bat-like creature, "No one...makes me...let go...of Jake!"

"How about you let go of Roxy," Roxy said struggling Marshall Lee's grip.

"I'm not scared of you!" Finn shouted at Marshall.

"Finn!" Jake said

"Hahaha! You're pathetic, little boy!" Marshall Lee said

"You're pathetic!" Finn spits, "Get ready for an uppercut, you dog! Let go of Roxy!"

"Make me. Haha Bleh-bleh!" Marshall Lee said sticking his tongue out.

"I've...gotta help my buddies," Jake said

"Your blood is mine!" Marshall Lee sad

Jake overcomes his fear and jumps at Marshall Lee screaming. Good news Marshall Lee dropped Roxy, but bad new he caught Jake.

"Jake!" Finn screamed

"Uh oh," Jake said

Marshall Lee sucks Jake's blood and he shrivels up turning gray. He throws Jake's remains on the ground laughing.

Roxy screams out panicking and summons her hammer.

Finn let out a scream and him along with Roxy runs up to Marshall Lee. He punches the vampire in the face while Roxy bashes him on top of the head with her hammer, making Marshall Lee reel back.

"Ow! That actually hurt, you two," Marshall Lee said, he lets out a chuckle and patts Finn on the head and then gives Roxy a peck on the cheek.

"Why didn't you just kill us?" Finn asked

"'Cuz that was fun! I haven't fought like that in years! Thanks, Finn, thanks, Roxy," Marshall Lee said

Roxy doesn't say anything but just tubs the cheek Marshall Lee kissed. For a split second when Marshall's lips connected with her cheek Roxy had a small flashback. It left as soon as it came but Roxy couldn't help but think the fleeting memory was important.

"Finn! Roxy!" Jake said appearing.

"Undead!" Roxy said pointing at Jake.

"Aren't you dead?" Finn asked

"Naaah, before she bit me I used my powers to shrink all my guts and blood over my thumb, see?" Jake said showing them.

"You three are pretty hardcore. I can appreciate that," Marshall Lee said

"Soooo so does that mean we can have our old house back?" Finn asked

"Yeah! Keep it, as a gift from me. Blaeargh!" Marshall Lee said hissing at them.

Finn and Jake both run away screaming while Roxy remains unfazed.

"Haha," Marshall Lee turns to Roxy, "Nothing?"

"Nope. You scared me once not gonna do it again," Roxy said

"You really are hardcore," Marshall Lee looking away and strumming his guitar.

Roxy smiles at Marshall, "I better go."

Roxy goes to turn away but she's stopped when someone grabs her wrist. She looks back and sees Marshall holding her wrist but he isn't looking at her.

"You-*cough cough* you can come back anytime," Marshall Lee said

"Yeah sounds fun. See ya later vamp dude," Roxy said

"Yeah see ya, Roxy," Marshall Lee said with a small smile.

Roxy runs outside and manages to catch up Finn and Jake. Once Roxy was out of view Marshall Lee pulls out a picture and hangs it up.

"To home!" Roxy said

"To home!" Finn and Jake said

* * *

"Yeah!" Finn and Jake said opening the front door.

Once they open the door they see worms all over the room.

"Huh? Did you guys get on the bed? I told you, you're not allowed!" Finn said

Suddenly a giant worm with a crown crawls out and stands in front of them.

"Oh, hey, guys. Come here, friends...Hug me…" The Worm king glows, "wawawawawawawa…" He lets out a strange wail and then Finn, Roxy, and Jake hug him, "Aw, yeah, hug me... wawawawawawawawa…"

* * *

As the dark came so did bedtime. Roxy had changed into her pajamas. As she got up to get in her hammock something falls out of it. Roxy sees a woven leather bracelet with her name on it.

"Huh? I don't remember this," Roxy said picking it up.

As soon as Roxy picks up the bracelet she has a flashback.

Roxy was sitting on a log, with someone next to her, but she can't see who it is.

"Here. I um made you something."

The person presents their hands and opens them to reveal the leather woven bracelet.

"So we can always be connected no matter where we go."

The person ties the bracelet around Roxy's wrist.

"I love it thank you," Roxy said grabbing the person's hand.

She looks up and-

Roxy is knocked back into reality as she looks back down at the bracelet.

"This...is really important," Roxy said to herself.

Roxy puts the bracelet on and rubs her fingers over her name.

"Maybe this will help me find out where I came from," Roxy thought.

 **END**


	13. City of Thieves

**City of Thieves**

Roxy was staring at a wall in the treehouse. She had been standing there for what seemed like forever. Her hand was on her chin and she was staring intently at the wall with her hand on her chin.

Jake came downstairs and made his way to the kitchen. He came back into the room holding a mug, he walked over to Roxy who was still staring at the wall. He looked at the wall and took a sip out of the mug. He tilted his head looking at the wall and then looked back at Roxy.

"Whatcha look at Rox?" Jake asked

"Nothing…." Roxy said

"Nothing?" Jake questioned

"Yeah nothing," Roxy said

"Why are you looking at nothing. Nothing is boring man," Jake said

"The issue is there's supposed to be something," Roxy said

"What?" Jake questioned

"There was something on this wall and now there's nothing," Roxy said

Jake looked back at the wall and stared too. He started to squint at the wall and let out a hum.

"Hey, your right! There is supposed to be something here," Jake said

"I knew it! But what? I just can't remember," Roxy said

Jake and Roxy continued to stare at the wall when Finn ran into the room.

"Hey hey, you guys!" Finn said

Jake and Roxy don't listen and keep looking at the wall.

"You guys?!" Jake said

Nothing.

"YOU GUYS!" Finn shouted

Jake turned around to face Finn while Roxy still stared at the wall.

"What's up man?" Jake asked

"Remember when you said walking on all four with long legs was harder than it looked?" Finn said

"Yeah," Jake said

"Well I found some stilts and I'm gonna prove you wrong," Finn said

"Oh, you are so on dude! "Let's go!" Jake said getting excited. He downed the rest of his drink and ran out the house with Finn.

Roxy didn't move and still stared at the wall. Jake's hand stretched back through the front door and grabbed the back of Roxy's shirt. The girl didn't react as she was dragged out the room, her eyes not leaving the wall until it was out of her view.

* * *

Roxy was riding on the back of Jake while Finn walked next to them on his super tall stilts. Roxy at on Jake her legs crossed hand still on her chin with a thoughtful look on her face.

"Ugh, what was on that wall. This is gonna bother me so much!" Roxy thought

"You're totally slow dude, speed up them gams," Jake said to Finn.

"Auh...I'm not used, uh...to running on all fours! Oahh!" Finn said

"Ready to admit it's harder than it looks?" Jake asked

"I'll never admit anything to you," Finn said

Jake shrunk back down to normal size and set Roxy down, who stayed in her thinking position.

"Hey, where'd you go?" Finn asked

Jake stretches his leg up and trips Finn's stilts.

"Heh heh heh," Jake laughed

"Whoa aoh oh! Umpf!" Finn yelled out as he fell in front of Roxy and Jake, "Okay I admit it's, it's harder than I thought."

"Hmmmm, Finn when did you get here? Wait when did we get in the forest?" Roxy said looking around.

Finn and Jake both laugh making Roxy even more confused.

"Haha, you did pretty good man! Hey, check it out!" Jake said pointing at something.

Finn and Roxy look to where Jake was pointing, "Whoa!"

"Looks like a giant dead turtle," Jake said

"I think it's some kind of city of…" Finn said

The three start to walk up to the town but jump back when a tree moves.

Suddenly a witch appears camouflaged to look like a part of the tree, "Thieves! It's the City of Thieves! Be warned boy! All who enter the city are destined to become thieves themselves! Hahaha, Even you."

"I wouldn't become a thief lady! I'm a pretty good guy," Finn said

"I haven't stolen anything and I don't really see a reason why," Roxy said

"Yeah, get your glasses on grandma, these kids are pure. In fact, they're about to help that little crying kid," Jake said pointing to a little girl crying.

"Oh, whoa!" Finn said running over to the girl.

"Where'd she come from?" Roxy asked running over too.

"Be warned!" The witch yelled.

"Enough lady!" Finn turned to the little girl, "Hey little girl, are you okay?"

"Please, don't steal anything from me!" The girl said scooting away from Finn.

"Whoa! We wouldn't do that. We're heroes," Finn said

"Yeah young lady you can trust us," Roxy said

Jake stretches his stomach to look like a face, "We want to turn your frown all the way around," He makes the face frown and then twist it all the way upside down.

The girl screams and continues to cry.

"Jake!" Finn said nudging Jake.

"I'll face the other way, but I'm gonna keep doing this," Jake said turning around.

"Yeah you do that man," Roxy said

"So what's wrong?" Finn asked the girl.

"Oh, it was terrible. I was trying to sell my flowers out here in the desert, when these two thieves came and stole my whole basket! Then ran into the city," The girl said.

"The city?" Finn questioned

"...of Thieves!" The witch said reappearing.

"Oh boy," Jake said

"Heed my warning: enter the city, and you'll come out a thief!" The witch said

"Never," Finn grabs the girl and places her on his shoulders, "I'll get this girl's flowers back-"

"My name is Penny," Penny said

"I'll get Penny's flowers back, and come out of that city as pure as the driven snow. Let's go, Jake! Roxy!" Finn said running off.

"Yeah! We're gonna purify that city!" Jake said

"I don't know what I'm gonna do but whoooo!" Roxy said following the boy.

* * *

The four of them were now in the city. There was no sunlight within the city and it looked dark and dirty.

"Cool," Finn said

"Crud," Jake said

"Well then…." Roxy said

A short goblin runs by and steals a ring from a large guy.

"My ring!"

"Stop thief!" Finn yelled

The Short Goblin runs away while the large guy runs by a woman and steals her baby.

"*GASP* Baby thief!" Roxy yelled pointing at the guy.

The baby steals reaches up and grabs the ruby from guys tooth.

"My ruby!"

"Stop, baby! Don't steal!" Finn yelled out.

The Baby runs into a Turtle. The Baby falls over and the ruby is thrown into the Turtle's hands who had a large crown on. The Turtle runs off with the ruby.

"Don't steal, Mr. Turtle!" Finn said

"Finn, it's hopeless to try stopping a thief here. Everyone steals from each other. It's redoodoodiculous!" Penny said

Finn takes Penny off his back and holds her close to his face, "Penny! Never say that!"

"Redoodoodiculous?" Penny questioned

"No! The whole thing you said. About hopelessness. 'Cause I'm gonna get your basket back from whoever took it. And then I'm going to ahhhh beat my purity into them!" Finn said

"And then I'm gonna beat your purity outta them. And then beat a sandwich into them! And then beat them to the punch! And then punch 'em!" Jake said

"Ha! I'll just whack 'em with my hammer," Roxy said

"We can beat these thieves while we search for Penny's flower basket!" Finn said

"Okay," Jake said

"Whoooo! Helpful rampaging!" Roxy cheered

Finn, Roxy, and Jake start running towards the Turtle.

"Hey, turd-le! I'm gonna kick your butt! Also, have you seen this little girl's flower basket?" Finn said

"You're going down, turtle!" Jake said

Roxy just summons her hammer and holds it threateningly.

The Turtle suddenly flies off in the air with rockets from his shell.

"Woah! I want jets!" Jake said

The Turtle lands on a roof and a guy with a crossbow steals the jewel from the Turtle's crown.

"Come back, Crossbow Guy!" Finn yelled

Finn punches the Turtle and goes after the Crossbow Guy.

When the Crossbow Guy lands a Two-Headed Thief steals his crossbow.

"My crossbow!"

"Hey, my basket! That's my basket!" Penny said

"Don't worry, Penny. We'll get it right after I deal with this guy!" Finn punches the Crossbow Guy, "Stealing's wrong, doofus!"

"I've got the double headed guy!" Roxy said

Roxy uses her hammer to propel herself up into the air and launches herself onto a roof. She jumps roof to roof following the two-headed guy.

"You can't escape my hammer of righteous fury!" Roxy said

As the double headed guy jumped to another roof he looks back and lets out a scream as Roxy lands on top of him. They both fall to the ground with the mallet part of Roxy's hammer on the guy and Roxy sitting on the handle. Finn and Jake run up as Roxy smiles at them.

"Hey boys, look what I got," Roxy said

"Awesome job Roxy!" Finn said

As Finn is about to grab the basket a wizard appears and snatches the basket running off. As the wizard ran off he's stopped by a cyclops.

"I'm gonna steal your flower basket, wizard!" Cyclops said

The Wizard casts a spell, but misses the Cyclops.

"Pancake, pancake, pancake," The Wizard said

The Wizard turns into a cat dropping the basket and runs away. The Cyclops picks up the basket and runs away, followed by Finn and Jake, but Roxy stays unmoving.

The vicious cycle of stealing counties on and on that Roxy couldn't keep up with who's doing what.

"Ugghhh! All of this stealing is messing with my noggin!" Roxy said

Roxy brings out her hammer and starts knocking out anyone in her way. After about 10 minutes she's out of breath from the nonstop fighting.

Finn and Jake somehow make their way back to where Roxy was.

"Did you guys just run around the whole city?" Roxy questioned

Finn and Jake nodded out of breath.

"*HUFF HUFF* How are we supposed to get that basket back if it keeps being stolen?!" Finn said frustrated.

"Hey! We can steal a new one from that guy!" Jake said pointing to a little store that a sign that said Baskets & Boots. The owner was asleep at the counter, "He's got lots of flower baskets. And boots! I'd like to steal me one of them pairs of boots, especially."

Roxy bonks Jake on the top of his receiving a loud ow.

"No, Jake. We can't steal. We have to stay pure!" Finn said

"Okay," Jake said reluctantly rubbing the spot where Roxy had hit him.

"I have an idea! My mom used to tell me that there's a King of Thieves who lives in the center of the city, and everything that gets stolen from little girls ends up at his tower. Maybe we'd find my basket in his treasure chest!" Penny said

"That's a great idea, Penny!" Finn said

"There's one thing, though. The tower that he lives in is surrounded by a magical barrier. Which magically keeps thieves out," Penny said

"Have you forgotten?! We three ain't thieves! We're pure! Right, Jake?" Finn turns to look at Jake, but he isn't there, "Jake?"

"Huh Finn," Roxy said, she was pointing over at the store.

Jake was tiptoeing towards Baskets & Boots and whispering to himself, "Just gotta steal these boots…"

"Jake!" Finn yelled

"Huh?" Jake questioned

The store owner wakes up, "Hey! Go away!" The owner swats at Jake making him run away.

"What are you doin', man?" Finn asks

"Bad Jake!" Roxy said giving him a swift tap on the snout.

Jake pulls back and puts a hand on his nose, "It's the city, it's getting to me. Help me, guys!"

"I'm here for ya buddy," Finn said hugging Jake.

"Me too," Roxy said hugging them both.

"Thank you, Finn, thank you, Roxy," Jake said

The three were enjoying their moment until Jake suddenly breaks away from the hug running to the 'Baskets & Boots' store screaming.

"Nooo!" Finn yelled tackling Jake, "I won't let you become a thief!"

Roxy runs over and jumps on Jake too. Finn and Roxy both grab his hands and tie something on them.

"Uh, what are these?" Jake questioned pulling up his hands.

"Bells. That way, we'll hear you if you try to steal again," Finn said

"Oh. Hmm," Jake said wiggling his fingers making a jingling sound.

* * *

The group made their way to the tower led by Penny.

"The King of Thieves' tower is right up here," Penny said

"Woah," Finn said

In front of them is a large tower with a blue glowing barrier around it.

"You read to pass through, Penny?" Finn asked

"I'm too afraid! Is it okay if I wait out here?" Penny asked

"Sure. C'mon, let's go, Jake! Roxy" Finn said

"Comin'!" Jake said standing up.

Finn and Roxy look down surprised to see something on Jake's feet.

"Jake, where'd you get those boots?" Finn asked

"Huh, what? What boots?" Jake said looking down, "Oh, no! I stole! The city! It took advantage of me!"

"*sigh* Jake, you're a thief now! You won't be able to get in anymore!" Finn said

'Yes, I can," Jake runs up to the barrier and gets knocked back, "Oh. Hehe."

"*sigh* It's up to us, now, Roxy," Finn said

"Nah bro. I'll just wait here and watch these two," Roxy said sitting down.

"Okay," Finn said

"Legend says you'll find the loot in the King of Thieves' chest. Good luck, Finn! Oh, yeah, and that high window is the only entrance," Penny said

"Hmm. Alright, wish me luck!" Finn said

"She already did, man," Jake said

"Oh, yeah. Right," Finn yelled running to the tower and passes through the barrier. He climbs up the tower while Jake and Roxy cheer him on.

"You guys wanna play cards?" Roxy asked

* * *

"You see, if you have too much earwax, you won't be able to hear anymore," Jake explained

"How the whiz did we get on this subject?" Roxy thought

That's when Finn came running back out the tower holding a chest.

"I got it, guys!" Finn said running up looking very dirty.

"The chest! Gimme that!" Penny said snatching the chest from Finn.

"Huh?" Finn questioned

Penny puts the chest down and she pulls out a black crooked knife.

"Wwwwwhhhyyy does she have that?" Roxy said

"Woah, woah, woah. Easy, kid," Jake said

Penny opens the chest and inside is gold coins, jewels, a dagger and even a Game Boy.

Once seeing the treasure within Penny starts to laugh maniacally.

"What?! Is you basket under all that gold?" Finn asked stammering.

"Of course it's not! I set you up to steal this chest of gold! I couldn't get past the barrier 'cause I'm a thief!" Penny said

"But you're just a cute little girl!" Finn said

"And, I'm a thief!" Penny said

"Well, if this isn't yours, I'm gonna return it right now!" Finn closes the lid of the chest and starts to walk back toward the tower but he's knocked back by the barrier, "Huh?" he puts hand and body against the barrier, but can't push through it, "Why can't I...?"

"Because you stole something in the city! Now you're a thief!" Penny said

"Uh I'm not a thief," Roxy said lifting up her hand, "I can put it back."

"No! Ahhhhh! No!" Finn said screaming.

"No thief here. Thief free right here," Roxy said

"What have I done?! What have I become?!" Finn said still screaming.

"You've become a thief, stupid!" Penny said picking up the chest, "Hahahah!" Penny laughed running away with the chest.

Finn looks down at his hands, "My hands. They're all dirty. Covered in the dust of a criminal act! I'm a thief!"

Suddenly a shrill laughing is heard. Jake looks around for the source and underneath him, the floor rises up and the witch from before emerges.

"Oh, what did I tell you, boy? This city will get you, no matter how pure you think you are! Haha! I was right," The witch said

"I'm still not a thief," Roxy pointed out, but once again she was ignored, "Ya know what if you're gonna ignore me I won't talk," Roxy said crossing her arms.

"Hey, that's enough from you, Hag!" Jake puts feet around Hag's face and throws her away, "Finn?"

"Don't touch me! I'm impure, man! Unfit to be a hero! Unfit to be your friend," Finn said

"Come on, Finn, keep it together!" Jake said

"No, Jake. This is a one-way path, down a jacked-up road. And I gotta walk it...alone," Finn said

"I'm not gonna leave you alone in the city. You're my buddy. Besides, I stole these boots. These super-big style boots. So I'm just as dirty as you are, Finn. We gotta walk this filthy path together!" Jake said

"Then we shall embrace the darkness of this wicked city and use the methods of the criminal to seek vengeance on Penny," Finn said

"Cowabunga," Jake said stretching himself into a cape and wrapping himself around Finn's neck.

"Cowabunga, indeed," Finn said seriously. He turns to face Roxy, "Tosy you stay here, you're too pure for this."

"Oh so now I'm here," Roxy said

Finn jumps away leaving Roxy alone.

Roxy lets out a huff, "I guess I better go follow the idiots," Roxy said

Finn jumps rooftop to rooftop and Roxy follows below running on the ground. He goes into a house and Roxy here's a shout and Finn reappears holding a crossbow.

He goes through a second house and reappears holding two swords.

"Oh great he steals one thing and now he's a stealing machine," Roxy said

Finn enters a third house and Roxy hears a whiny f a horse and he appears with a bar of soap.

Finn keeps jumping rooftop to rooftop with Rox hot on his heels.

"Where are you going now?" Roxy questioned

* * *

Roxy follows Finn to the outskirts of the town, to where a small tent was set up. She gets close up to the tent and puts her ear close to the tent so she could hear everything inside.

"Mmm. Yes. Yeah," Penny said, Roxy heard shuffling, and then a twig snap. "Wha? Is someone there?!" Penny said in a scared tone.

She then hears Finn whisper Penny's name.

"It's me, Penny. The hero whose purity you stole! And I'm here to enact my revenge upon you!" Finn said

"Hi, Penny," Jake said

"Finn, please don't punch my lights out! I'm just a poor, homeless baby girl," Penny said

Roxy rolls her eyes hearing that.

"I trusted you, Penny. You made me steal. And you took my purity. You ruined me!" Finn said

"I'm sorry, Finn. Let me give you some uh, gems, or some gold, or uh, have some knife in your neck!" Penny said

"Watch out, Finn!" Jake said

Roxy hears two thumps and Penny cry out.

"Thanks, dude," Finn said

"Yeah, dude," Jake said

"You may have soiled my purity, but I think you can still come out clean. C'mon, Jake!" Finn said

"Hahaha!" Jake laughed

"No! No!" Penny said

Roxy hears some struggling and sees some suds flow out of the tent.

"Nice work, dude," Jake said

"She's purified!" Finn said

"I feel...clean! Like all the filth of the city and wrongdoings are gone! Thank you, Finn and Jake! I haven't felt like this since I was young!" Penny said

"You're welcome," Finn said

"Woah, dude!" Jake said

Roxy hears some squeaking noises that make her cringe and grab her ears.

"The soap got on us, too!" Jake said

"We're clean!" Finn said

"Yes!" Finn and Jake said

"This good deed we did has purified us once again. We're virgin islands!" Finn said

"Finn, thanks for the second chance to live a pure life," Penny said

"And you know what that means, Penny. No more stealing!" Finn said

"Never again," Penny said

"Well, I think it's time for us to get the math out of here," Finn said

"I'm going to miss you, Finn!" Penny said

"I'll miss you, too," Finn said

"G'bye!" Penny said rushing out the tent.

"Woah, dude. Why are you naked?" Jake said

"Penny!" Finn yelled out.

Penny laughs and continues to run away but then she is suddenly picked up off the ground.

"Oh no you don't you let gremlin," Roxy said holding Penny up.

"Let me go!" Penny said

"Not until you give back what you stole," Roxy said

"NEVER!" Penny shouted out.

"*sigh* Guess we gotta do this the hard way," Roxy said

"Wait what's the hard way!?" Penny said

Roxy tosses Penny up in the air and then catches her upside down by her ankles. She starts to shake the young girl making her drop various things. Once objects stop dropping from Penny Roxy stops shaking her.

She puts Penny down and the girl twirls around clearly dizzy.

"Not get outta here ya little thief," Roxy said giving Penny a push forward.

Penny walks off stumbling and hits a wall before she makes it out of Roxy's view.

Roxy gathers up Finn's things and walks back to the tent. She enters to see Finn still fuming.

"Here ya go," Roxy said tossing Finn his clothes.

"Wha? Roxy?" Finn questioned

"The one and only," Roxy said

"You got my stuff back," Finn said

"Yeah what are big sisters for," Roxy said

"Thanks," Finn said with a smile.

"Your welcome, now get dressed and let's leave this city and never come back," Roxy said

"Agreed," Finn and Jake said.

 **END**


	14. The Witches Garden

**The Witch's Garden**

A frog was carrying a crown walking. Finn, Jake, and Roxy were walking behind the frog following it.

"Dude...how long are we gonna follow this frog?" Jake asked

"I just wanna see 'im put on that crown," Finn said

The frog walks up to a gate and through the bars.

"Wooow!" Finn and Jake said approaching the gate.

"Hmm a locked gate of unexplored land, Roxy is now interested," Roxy said

"It looks cool in there!" Jake said

"Too bad we don't have the key to this," Finn said

"What're you talkin' about? I got two keys right here!" Jake said pointing at his legs.

Finn laughs and gets on Jake's back. Jake waits for Roy to climb on but she shakes her head.

"Nah man you go. I wanna try something out I've been working on," Roxy said

Jake stretches over the wall and goes into the garden.

Roxy smiled and summons her hammer, "Here I go." She grabs onto the pole of the hammer, "Pole extended!"

The pole of the hammer shoots up growing with Roxy on the top of it. Once she reaches the top of the gate she hops over retracting the hammer's pole She lands on the other side of the gate right next to Finn and Jake.

"Cool," Finn said

"Thanks, man. I hope I can put it into battle soon," Roxy said

The three start look around their surroundings walking around the garden.

"Wow! Look at this place!" Jake said

"Jake. Are these donuts?" Finn said pointing to a bush.

"They look like donuts," Jake said

"They definitely look like donuts to me," Roxy said

"But maybe they're poisonous donuts!" Finn said.

Jake starts sniffing the donuts.

"Yeah! Sniff it, Jake! Suck up those toxins!" Finn said

"Wait a second...I don't know what poison smells like," Jake said

"Well do the donuts smell good or bad?" Roxy asked

"Hey!" A shrill voice called out.

The three turned around to see a tall witch who was hunched over in a U shape walking on a cane.

She lifts up her cane and waves it at Finn, Roxy, and Jake, "Razzamafoo!"

There's a poof and the witch switched places with the three.

"Hey!" Jake said

"What gives?!" Finn said

"Was that necessary?" Roxy asked

"You ate one of my donuts!" The Witch yelled

"No, I didn't. I just sniffed it," Jake said

"RAAAAAGH! You're lying! The stink of magic dog lips is everywhere!" The Witch screamed out.

"Holy slug, lady! Calm down!" Finn said

"Do you not have an inside voice?" Roxy questioned

"My voice level is fine!" The Witch screamed

"Listen, Mrs. Witch," Jake said

"I never married!" The Witch yelled

"Well, I never ate your donuts," Jake said

"You...you're eating one right now!" The Witch said

"No, I'm not!" Jake said with a full mouth.

Roxy coughed, "Ehmmm Jake," She said pointing at his hand.

He looks down and sees a donut in his hand, "Whoa-hoa! Hm...That's weird...I don't even remember grabbing this. My subconscious must be hungry, huh? Huh...whatever," He said finishing off the donut.

"MAGICUS NOMORICUS!" The Witch shouted

"Uh-oh," Jake said getting blasted by the witch.

"AAH!" Finn and Roxy shout.

"Dude, are you okay?" Finn asked

"Yeah...I think so. Just a little chilly," Jake looks down to see he has a man-boy body, "WHOA!"

"Ahahahahahehehe!" The Witch laughed

"What did she do to you?" Finn asked

"I stripped him of his magical powers!" The Witch said

"For stealing one of your billions of donuts?!" Finn said

"Yeah, it's not like I killed your husband or somethin'," Jake said as he started to mess with his man bosoms.

"I AM NOT MARRIED!" The Witch yelled

"The point is you overreacted," Finn said

"And what gives? I used to have like eight more of these things," Jake said still messing with his chest.

"Stop that," Roxy said smacking Jake's hands down, "It makes me uncomfortable."

"The only way I'll give back your powers is if you admit your error and say you're sorry and mean it!...'Cause I can tell the difference," The Witch said

"Well, you can forget it because you're the one who's wrong!" Jake turns to Finn and Roxy "...Right?"

"Total support, dude," Finn said

"You did kind of flip out," Roxy said

"RRRRAAAARRGH!" The Witch screamed out, she started to wave her cane, "Go-backicus-from-whence-you-came-icus!"

"Aw, now you're just makin' these up!" Finn said

With a poof, Finn, Roxy, and Jake disappear.

* * *

The three were now back at the Treehouse. Finn was pacing around while Jake was laid out on the couch. Roxy was sitting on the arm of the couch watching Finn pace.

"There's gotta be a way to get your powers back! Where'd they come from, anyway? Were you born with them? Or...did you have a freak industrial accident?!" Finn said

"Ha. That takes me back. Let me just...remember," Jake gets a thinking face on and rubs his head,"I see a memory. When I was just a pupster…" The more Jake thinks the more strained his face gets, "I'm rollin' around in a mud puddle, and I'm just... lovin's it. Oh, no! Whoo... Remembering is hard work."

"What happened next?!" Finn asked

"Oh. Um...I went into the mud, and...I guess I became a magic dog?" Jake said

"Hmmm," Roxy pondered raising an eyebrow, "Are you sure about that?"

"Pretty sure," Jake said

"Okay! Then our course is clear! We'll roll you in every mud puddle in Ooo until we find the one that'll restore your powers," Finn said

"That's nuts, man. You got any idea of how many mud puddles are in the land of Ooo? Four? Maybe even five?" Jake said

"Jake, come on! We've always been lucky, buddy! Maybe the first mud puddle we find will be the right one!" Finn said

"Nonsense...but I like it!" Jake said standing up.

"Then away! Hyuh! Whoo-hoo!" Finn said jumping out a window.

"Yeah, let's do it!" Jake said jumping out the window too.

Roxy runs over to the window just in time to see jake land flat on his face.

"Ohhh that's gonna hurt in the morning," Roxy said wincing.

"Oh, my gosh!" Finn said

Roxy jumps out the window and lands next to Jake on her feet as the dog picks himself up.

"I forgot that I don't have magic powers anymore. How do we search for the mud without my powers?" Jake questioned

"We run! Run like energetic little boys!" Finn said

"*COUGH COUGH*" Roxy said

"Or energetic little girls!" Finn said

"Thank you," Roxy said

Finn and Roxy run off fast.

"This whole time, I thought running was some sort of...leg magic," Jake said, he starts running too, well it's more like slowly jogging, "Huh... Look at me. I'm runnin'!" After only a few steps he starts to pant heavily and slow down, "Oh, no…" Jake stops moving out of breath, "Running...is...evil…"

Finn and Roxy run back to where Jake was.

"Come on, lazy bones!" Finn said

"It's too hard!" Jake said

"Nothing is too hard. It's all in the mind man," Roxy said pointing at her head.

Jake just lets out a huff and flops onto his back.

"I guess you could ride on my backpack," Finn said

Jake puts his arms up to Finn but makes no effort to get up, "I can't reach," Finn crouches down and Jake grabs on to Finn's neck, "You good, Finn?"

"Gahaugh, You're...strangling me...a little, is all," Finn said

* * *

After traveling for some time the three came across the River of Junk.

"Look there! Across the River of Junk! There's an ideal mud puddle," Finn said pointing over the river.

"I'll stretch into a boat!" Jake gets on all fours and tries to stretch but only just lets out a fart.

Roxy holds her nose and tries to fan away the farts, "Man that gas is beastly. What do you eat Jake?"

"I'm startin' to really miss that old magic of mine," Jake said

"We can swim this river easy!" Finn jumped into the river followed by Roxy.

"Wow, this actually smells better than Jake's poots," Roxy said

"Come on, Jake!" Finn said

Finn and Roxy start swimming across the river but Jake stays on shore. When they make it across the river they see Jake is still on the opposite side but he was now wearing a pink hat and talking to himself.

"Seriously?" Roxy said

"Jake! Stop talking to yourself! Cross over already!" Finn shouted over.

"Uh, I can't swim that river, dude. My subconscious says it's too hard. Check out this hat, though," Jake said pointing at his head.

"Grrrrrr! What's wrong with that guy?" Finn said, "'Then just wait for me there!" Finn shouted over

Finn dives back into the river. Roxy watches him swim around and gather various pieces of junk. Finn swims back over to the other side and begins building something.

Roxy observes Finn building with an annoyed look on his face.

"Oh, he made a catapult. That'll get Jake over," Roxy said

Finn pulls down the catapult and Jake gets in, without warning Finn lets go and sends Jake flying over the river and he lands in the mud puddle splashing Roxy.

"Mud-venture!" Jake said

"Did it work?!" Finn asked as he got back over.

"Oh, yeah! I can feel this workin'! In fact, you two should roll in the mud with me! We can all be magic!" Jake said

"YEAAAAH!" Finn said jumping into the mud.

Roxy just looks at them then shrugs her shoulder, "CANNONBALL!" She shouted out jumping into the mud.

The three roll around the mud laughing, but after a few minutes, their merriment stops.

"This isn't working at all," Finn said

"This isn't the right mud. I was just really hopin' this was over and done," Jake said

"*Sigh* Okay...Then let's just go find another mud puddle," Finn said standing up with Roxy.

"Actually...I'm feeling kinda chubby-tired. Can't we do this tomorrow?" Jake asked

Roxy just lets out an annoyed grunt before falling back into the mud making a mud angel.

"Agh! This is stupid! Just go back to the witch and apologize and get your powers back!" Finn said

"Never! I'd rather be powerless forever then apologize! I'm lazy but prideful," Jake said

"YOU'RE NOT EVEN TRYING, MAN!" Finn yelled knocking Jake's hat off, "First, you won't run, a-and now you keep-and...a-and no matter what, I ju-you...Roxy do something!"

"Can't too busy," Roxy said continuing to make her mud angel.

"Adventuring is too much hard work for a bro without his powers," Jake said

"But you are an adventurer," Finn said

"Nah, from now on, I'm just your regular old dog...Ironic given my current man-baby body," Jake said

Finn is about to say something else but the junk in the river start to shake catching their attention. They all look over to see something emerge from the river.

A large fish skeletal woman with long hair appears floating over the river.

"Behold the beautiful mermaid of the river," The River Mermaid said

"Now that puts a new meaning to beauty is in the eye of the beholder," Roxy said

"Which one of you mortals wants to mate with all this? Heh heh heh…" The River Mermaid said gesturing to her body.

"Oh, um...How do I say, "You're the grossest thing ever," without offending you?" Finn said

"RAAAAAARGH!" River Mermaid screamed

She starts to conjure a fireball.

"I'll scare her off! Ruff! Ruff Ruff!" Jake barked out.

River Mermaid blast them but they evade the attack.

"How do we beat power like that?!" Finn said

"Finn! I've got an idea!" Jake said

"What is it, buddy?" Finn asked panicking.

"Rub my belly! Yeah, I'm one of those kinda dogs," Jake said

Finn and Roxy growl angrily at Jake.

Finn turns back to the River Mermaid and charges at her, "YAAAAH!"

The River Mermaid shrieks and spits a black substance on Finn, knocking him out. The River Mermaid picks him up and carries him to her nest.

"Oh, Glob Finn!" Roxy said summoning her hammer. She runs at the River Mermaid but it shoots a fireball at her knocking her into the river of junk.

"Finn? Roxy?" Jake questioned, he looked up to see Finn being carried to the River Mermaid's nest, "Finn! Come on, Finn! You gotta save yourself!" He runs over to the tree where the nest is, "I'm just a dog! ROXY!" Jake called to the river but nothing happened, "Aw, man. Oh, geez...Okay. Then I'm back on the team!" He attempts to climb the tree, "I'll save you! Don't worry!" He only makes it a few inches before he slides down, "Hey, Finn...Can you help me to get up there?"

The eggs in the nest start to hatch.

"Hungry! Hungry! Hungry!" The Hatchlings chanted

"If only I had my powers back!" Jake said

The Witch appears in a thought bubble, "The only way I'll give back your powers is if-"

"I know, I know! I have to apologize to that Witch," Jake said

* * *

Jake now had his powers back and was making his way back to rescue Finn. As he stretched over the river of junk Roxy's hand shot out of the river holding her hammer.

"Roxy!?" Jake said

He stretches his arm down and grabs Roxy's arm. He pulls her out and she gasps for air. She was covered in dirt, soot, and scratches, and she was wearing a steampunk like crown that had a silver octopus medallion on it.

"Whoa girl what happened to you?" Jake asked as he put Roxy on his back.

"Jake what year is it? There's a whole city under the river filled with junk river people. They were ruled by a tyrant skeleton octopus and I defeated him, now I am their queen," Roxy said looking into the distance.

"Oh, okay, then…..uh let's go save Finn," Jake said

"Very well," Roxy said

* * *

Finn was being surrounded by the Hatchlings.

"Remember to save the brain for dessert," The River Mermaid said

As the Hatchlings move towards Finn Jake appears over the nest.

"Honey, I'm back! How about a big kiss?" Jake said

He smashes his face into the River Mermaid's face knocking her back into the river.

"You guys are so cute! I could just maul you to death!" Jake said

The Hatchlings all jump out of the nest running away.

"Jake! I never should have doubted you!" Finn said

Roxy extends the pole of hammer to Finn, he grabs on and Roxy pulls him onto Jake's back.

"Well, I'm glad you learned your lesson: that in a crunch, there's nothin' I wouldn't do for ya," Jake said

"Ahhh, so is that how you got your powers back? You apologized to the witch?" Finn said

"Uh...No way! I must have found the right...mud puddle! Yeah...I don't remember. Heh…" Jake said

"Roxy where'd you get that crown?" Finn asked

"From the war," Roxy said

"Uh…..ookkkay," Finn said

 **END**


	15. What Is Life?

**What Is Life?**

Roxy was currently in the kitchen looking at the oven when Jake walked in.

"Hey, Rox, whatcha up to?" Jake asked walking over to the fridge.

Roxy turned to face Jake to show she was wearing an apron, "I found this cookbook and when I looked through it and really wanted to make something."

"Do you know how to cook?" Jake asked opening the fridge and pulling out a giant bag.

"We'll see. What in the bag?" Roxy asked

"Oh, nothing?" Jake said with a smile before walking into the living room.

Roxy shrugs her shoulders and goes back to watching the oven.

"EAAH!"

Roxy looks up when she hears Finn yell. She runs over to the doorway to look into the living room.

"HAHAHAHAHA!" Jake said

"Ohhh, butter pranked! I can't believe I didn't see that coming!" Finn said

"Heh, yeah, I'm a genius," Jake said

Roxy hears a ding from the kitchen and runs back in the kitchen. She opens the oven and pulls out a pie.

"Wow, it looks good," Roxy said

She walks back into the living room holding the pie.

"Hey Finn, Jake you want some-"

"Pie! That's it! I'll throw never-ending pies at Jake's face forever! Hahaha!" Finn yelled

Finn stands up and runs out the treehouse.

"Uhhhhhh….." Roxy said

She goes back into the kitchen and sets the pie on the table to cool off.

* * *

Roxy goes outside to see Finn building something and singing.

"It's never-ending pie-throwing time! C'mon, dude! Turn on! Why isn't it working?!" Finn throws the thing and Roxy ends up chatting it, "I'll never make a prank better than Jake's garbage bag full of butter," Finn said

"Hey, Finn what is this?" Roxy asked setting the robot down.

"It's a robot to throw never ending pies at Jake," Finn said

Suddenly a bolt of lightning strikes the robot right next to Roxy. Roxy yelps and jumps up landing in Finn's arms.

"Ouch!" The robot said.

"Holy stuff! It talked! Wow-cow-chow!" Finn said

"Hey, you made life Finn," Roxy said getting out of the younger boy's arms.

"Greeting, creator!" The robot said

"Oh, whoa! Hey, man!" Finn said

"My name is Neptr, which stands for Never-Ending Pie-Throwing Robot," Neptr said

"Oh, perfect! You're exactly the kind of robot I was trying to make!" Finn said

"Creator, I am eager to commence the creation and propulsion of pies forever, but," Neptr tries to move his little arm, "my pie-hucking appendage is...malfunctioning, and my oven lamp is cold," then he tries to move forward but only ends up making skids, "and my tank treads do not roll! They only do skids! Why, creator?! Does it please you to watch me struggle?!" Neptr said

"Neptr! Don't say stuff like that!" Finn said picking up the robot.

"Yeah little dude calm down," Roxy said

"Look, I know we just met, and you're probably goin' through a lot of personal stuff right now, but I really like you, Neptr, and I'm not gonna rest until you're working properly and throwing hot pie on my best friend's face. Together, we're gonna prank the poots out of Jake!" Finn said

"Haha! I'll always love you, creator!" Neptr said

"I know you will, Neptr. Now, all we need is more lightning power so you can be operating at full capacity!" Finn said

"I know where to get some," Roxy said

? ﾟﾌﾩ? ﾟﾌﾩ? ﾟﾌﾩ? ﾟﾌﾩ? ﾟﾌﾩ? ﾟﾌﾩ? ﾟﾌﾩ? ﾟﾌﾩ? ﾟﾌﾩ? ﾟﾌﾩ? ﾟﾌﾩ? ﾟﾌﾩ? ﾟﾌﾩ? ﾟﾌﾩ?

Finn and Roxy were now holding onto some balloons while Neptr was in Finn's bag.

"Are you my second creator?" Neptr asked Roxy.

"Nah, little dude. I'm Finn's big sis so I guess that makes me your Uhm Aunt?" Roxy said

"Yay!" Neptr said

The group floated into the Ice Kingdom.

"Ooh, what beautiful piles of sugar!" Neptr said

"Heh. No, Neptr. We call that snow," Finn said

"Snoooow?" Neptr said

The group comes up to Ice King's home and they crash into the side of the ice mountain.

"Did y'all smack us into that mountain on purpose?" Finn asked the balloons.

"Yeah!" The balloons said

"Take note, Neptr. These guys are grade-A pranksters. You guys hang out in case we need a daring escape!" Finn said as he and Roxy went inside the window.

"Yeah! Sure! Daring escape, yeah! Absolutely! We got your back!" The balloons said

When the three are inside one of the balloons whispers, "I got his wallet."

"Just gotta sneak around until we find his lightning bolt stash," Finn said

"But, creator, is not breaking and entering wrong?" Neptr said

"No, we're pranking and entering, which is awesome!" Finn said

"Sneaking! We're sneaking…" Neptr said as they crept around.

"Shush, Neptr!" Finn said

"Sneaking…" Neptr said

"Shh!" Roxy said

"Sneaking…" Neptr said

"Neptr, you're gonna get us caught!" Finn said

"Sneaking!" Neptr said loud.

"Is that you, honey?" The Ice King's voice said

Finn and Roxy run away and hide before he can see them.

"How was your day at work?" Ice King starts faking a woman's voice, "Terrible! How could I possibly stand to be apart from you, the Ice King?! You see, Gunter, that's how it would go if I actually had a wife."

"Wenk," Gunter said

"Game time!" Ice King sits down in his chair, "Kill the frog! Kill the frog! C'mon! Oh, he's right in front of you! Lower! L—Stupid lady. Kill it…"

"Creator, Auntie, if we get caught, I want you to know that I will always love you," Neptr said

"Shh! You already told me that! And we're not getting caught! We're gonna get you working so you can prank Jake! He could wake up from his nap at any second!" Finn said

With Jake

" _I might wake up at any moment! Naaaah, I'm still asleep."_

Main Story

"No, no! That frog is casting magic missiles on my babe!" Ice King said playing a game.

"Quickly! While he's distracted!" Finn said sneaking away with Roxy hiding behind an ice pillar.

"No, c'mon, get out of the—UGH! Move!" Ice yelled

"Wenk!" Gunter said

"Baaaugh!" Gunter walked towards were Finn and Roxy are hiding, "This game cheats anyway!" Ice King drops his game console, accidentally smashing it, "LOOK WHAT YOU DID, GUNTER!"

Gunter followed Roxy and he holds his arms out to her but Roxy puts her finger over her mouth signaling Gunter to be quite. Gunter doesn't appreciate not being picked up and waves his arms around trying to get Roxy to pick him up.

"Wenk wenk wenk wenk wenk wenk wenk!" Gunter said waving his arms even more.

Ice King gets up from his chair and walks over to the pillar as Roxy and Finn scoot around it to stay out the Ice King's view.

"What are you on about? You're starting to infuriate me...It's almost like you're trying to alert me—warn me about...I don't know, an intruder or something? Perhaps he's lurking in this very room, just outside my field of vision!" Ice King said

Roxy and Finn climbed up the ice pillar and hang on the ceiling from some icicles.

"Wenk wenk wenk wenk," Gunter said waving up at the ceiling.

"Well, knock it off!" Ice King said

"What'll we do, creator?" Neptr asked

"We're gonna prank 'im, Neptr. Hardcore," Finn said

Ice King was now holding Gunter's arms up and looking at their reflection in the ice wall, "Hmm. You're lookin kinda fat, Gunter! Look at these arms! Fat fat fat! Daddy's little fattie! Oh, you'll never get a prom date with all that chub on your face, you know!"

Finn breaks off a part of the icicle and drops it in the back of Ice King's underwear.

Ice King jumps up in shock grabbing his rear end. Roxy, Finn, and Neptr quietly laugh.

"Ooh! Oh, blast these melty ceilings!" Ice King said finally getting the ice out of his underwear.

"Creator, you have shown me the joys of pranking! I cannot wait to throw pies infinitely at Jake's face!" Neptr said

Finn starts to slowly lose his grip on the icicle and slides down. Roxy tries to grab onto him but Finn slides off and hits the icy ground then slides away into another room

"What was that?" Ice King said looking around.

"Don't look up don't look up don't look up," Roxy whispered

As if reading her thoughts Ice King looks up and spots Roxy.

"Uhhhh hey," Roxy said

Ice King lets out a girlish squeal and smiles, "My little Diamond you came to see your papa!"

Roxy looks over to where Finn slid off too, "Uhhh yeah, of course, that's why I'm here…..there's no other reason."

Ice King puts his hands up and holds them open, "Now come to papa. Give him a big hug!"

Roxy lets out a sigh looking down at Ice King and his open hands. She slides off the icicles and lands in the Ice King's arms.

"Huggys!" Ice King said holding Roxy close.

"Wenk wenk wenk!" Gunter said tugging at Roxy.

"Gunter, don't ruin this beautiful family moment!" Ice King said putting his foot on Gunter's head and giving him a light shove. Gunter slides away on the ice floor.

*SMASH*

"What was that?" Ice King said looking behind him.

"Uh, nothing!" Roxy said pulling Ice King back into a hug.

"Awwww," Ice King said hugging Roxy closer and laying his head on Roxy's.

*BOOM*

"I heard a sound," Ice King said

"No, you didn't!" Roxy said

"Alarm! Alarm! Alarm!"

"*gasp* An intruder. Stay here papa will protect you from the intruders," Ice King said running out the room, "Ice-o-pede!"

"Bunks," Roxy said

Gunter jumps into Roxy's arms and cuddles into her arms.

"It's a good this your cute," Roxy said

"Wenk wenk," Gunter said

"Whoaaaaa!"

Finn slides through the door again with Neptr in his arms and hits Roxy and she drops Gunter, as the two slide to the widow. The two stand up and head out the window where the balloons are waiting.

"Quick, Jump!" The balloons said

Finn and Roxy jump out the window and attempt to grab onto the balloons, but the balloons fly up making them fall. The two cry out but then float back up as four balloons were carrying them laughing.

"Whew. Haha you really scared us," Roxy said

"Heh heh. You guys got us," Finn said

* * *

The balloons dropped Finn and Roxy off at home.

"Thanks, guys. Your blood-oath is fulfilled," Finn said

"Yay! To the mesosphere!"

"Finally we can die!"

"I am troubled, creator. Troubled by a sudden urge to...collect princesses," Neptr said

"Uhhhhhhhh…." Roxy said

"Neptr, that's a heavy unsettling thing to say, but pull yourself together. We're about to prank Jake!" Finn said

"Uh-huh. Sure," Neptr said

Finn walked over to the front door.

"One...two…"

"THREE!" Ice King yelled opening up the front door.

"Ice King!" Roxy yelled

"Run, Neptr!" Finn yelled

Finn charges at the Ice King with a kick, "Hah! Hah! Hah!" Ice King freezes Finn, "Aw, man."

"Ice King what are you doing here?!" Roxy said

"I've come to take my son," Ice King said

"Your son?!" Finn exclaimed

"Son?" Roxy said tilting her head in confusion.

"Come to Papi, son. I won't attack you...unless provoked," Ice King said

Roxy sighs and shakes her head.

"He's not your son! If anything, he's my son!" Finn yelled

"It was my power that activated his full potential," Ice King said

"Oooh…" Neptr said

"When you were struck by my lightning, you also became infused with my private particles. He wants to be with me, Finn!" Ice King yelled

"Really?!" Roxy said

"Come with us my little diamond we can be one big happy family. It'll be even better when I steal a princess and marry her," Ice King said

"No way! Neptr wants to help me prank Jake!" Finn said

"I am torn! I am processing a love for both princesses and pranking!" Neptr said

"Oh for the love of glob," Roxy said

"Don't worry, son. I'll show you the life you deserve!" Ice King said

Ice King picks up Neptr and starts to spin quickly.

"No! Neptr!" Finn yelled

He and Roxy manage to grab onto the Ice King as they all disappear.

They all reappear in a green endless void.

"Yes! Now that we've entered my imagination zone, allow me to tantalize you with this!" Ice King snaps his fingers and princesses appear, "Princesses! As my son, you will carry on the tradition of capturing ladies!"

"Tell me more, Papi!" Neptr said

"No, Neptr!" Finn said

"I want a son who can do better than I. One who can succeed where I...have failed. You can mate with robot princesses!" Ice King said

"Can I still prank with Finn after?" Neptr asked

"NO! I'll show you what will happen if you hang out with Finn!" Ice King said

Ice King creates a vision of Finn and Jake farting on Neptr appears.

"Yeah! Pootin' on Neptr to the max!" Finn and Jake said

"Haha! Yeah, I love Finn's pranks!" Neptr said

"NOOOOO!" Ice King yelled

The four exit the Imagination Zone and Finn lands on the groundbreaking him out of the block of ice.

"I'm through playing around, son. Who do you choose?" Ice King said

"Come on, Neptr. Choose me, buddy. Choose pranks," Finn said

"I...uh, I...choose...Ice King!" Neptr said

"Wait seriously?!" Roxy said

"WHAT?! You've gotta be flippin' kidding me!" Finn said

"He made his choice! Get over it, crybaby!" Ice King said

"I'm not finished. I choose Ice King...to prank! Hardcore!" Neptr said

"WHHHAAAAT!" Ice King yelled angrily.

Neptr launches a pie at Ice King hitting him in the face, "Aah! My face! I birthed you and I can unbirth you!"

"NEVER!" Finn yelled hitting the Ice King.

Ice King gets knocked out and falls to the ground.

"Sleep well, Papi. In your Imagination Zone full of beautiful princesses," Neptr said

"You wanna prank Jake?" Finn asked

"It's why I was created," Neptr said

"Haha, okay. Let's gooooo!" Finn picked up Neptr and carried him into the house, "Jake! Wake up!

"Ahhh, hey, du—AAAAAH!" Jake yelled

Roxy smiles and shakes her head as she hears Jake being hit with multiple pies.

Roxy looks down to see the still knocked out, Ice King. She lets out a sigh and goes into the treehouse. She comes back out holding a pillow and blanket. She goes over to the Ice King and puts the pillow under him and throws the blanket over him.

"Sleep tight ya big dunce," Roxy said


	16. Ocean of Fear

**Ocean of Fear**

 _~In the dark recesses of the mind, a disease known as fear feasts upon the souls who cannot overcome its power…~_

Roxy had her hands behind her head as she casually followed after her 'brothers'.

Finn and Jake were running after a Fire Newt and farting on him.

"I…..don't get boys," Roxy said  
"Come back, thief!" Finn yelled  
The Fire Newt opens it mouth and spews fire at Finn and Jake.  
"Whoa!" Jake said dodging.  
"Stop farting on me! It's gross!" Fire Newt said  
"You can't just go around stealing boots," Finn said  
"Yeah, and you know the penalty for stealing boots. It's poots...on newts," Jake said  
Finn and Jake laugh as the Fire Newt walks into the ocean. Roxy lets out a sigh and sits on the beach.  
"He's getting away in that lake!" Finn yelled  
"Dude, that isn't a lake. That's an ocean," Jake said  
Jake stretches over the water heading towards the ocean barking.  
Finn laughs and runs after Jake barking too puts stops short at the edge of the water.  
Roxy raises an eyebrow as she watches Finn stare at the water with an anxious look.

"You okay there Finn?" Roxy called out.  
Finn doesn't hear here and backs away from the water, "Uhh…"  
"Poots on newts! Poots on newts!" Jake said farting on the Fire Newt.  
"No!" Fire Newt yelled  
Finn looks at Jake and the Net and laughs. He sits on the sand and removes his shoes, "I'm coming, Jake. I'll poot on that newt as soon as I'm barefoot. Uh…"  
Roxy sits up and gives a worried to look to Finn.  
A wave crashes on the beach and Finn lets out a gasps and frantically crawls away from the water landing next to Roxy's feet.

"Uh….Finn you doing okay there? You look like you're gonna hork up something," Roxy said  
Finn groans and flips over onto his back, "Ow! Why is my stomach going nuts?" Finn lifts up his shirt and his stomach was moving.

"Uhhh that's not normal," Roxy said freaking out slightly.  
A black smoke starts to rise out of Finn's belly button.

"Okay, now I know that's not normal!" Roxy said  
"Ow!" Finn said grabbing his stomach.  
More smoke comes out of Finn's belly button.

"Hahahaha!"

"Okay the smoke is laughing now!" Roxy said

The smoke forms a face startling Finn and Roxy.

"What the snap!?" Roxy said  
"Wh-wh-wh-Who are you?" Finn questioned  
"I am the manifestation of your fear...fear of the ocean!" Fear Feaster said

"Wait Finn isn't afraid of water," Roxy said  
"Yeah! I'm not afraid of lakes, wells, or rivers, streams, or deep wells or puddles. Why would I be afraid of-" The waves roll up next to Finn making him scream and jump up and cling onto Roxy.  
"Hahahaha! Cause you're a wuss," Fear Feaster said  
"I'm no wuss! I'm the hero around these parts!" Finn said still in Roxy's arms.  
"Ha! You're too scared of the ocean to ever be a true hero," Fear Feaster said  
"Not true! I'm not scared of nothin'!" Finn said  
Finn jumps out of Roxy's arms and charges towards the ocean yelling but stops when a wave crashes on the beach.  
Finn shakes his head and takes a deep breath, "I shall conquer my fear."  
"Yeah, right," Fear Feaster said  
"No! I will. I'll conquer my fear," Finn said  
"Of course you will," Fear Feaster started to disappear back into Finn's stomach, "and I live in a two bedroom apartment that doesn't smell like vomit Hahaha...Sarcasm."

Jake comes back on the beach joining Finn and Roxy.  
"Dude. Dude, did you see me? I was all like womp, and then I was all like take this! Womp! Womp! And then...Hey, what's wrong with you, dude?" Jake said

"Finn's having a few issues," Roxy said quietly to Jake.  
"Jake. I think I'm afraid...of the ocean," Finn said  
"Say what, now?" Jake asked  
"I need your guys help to overcome my fear. Will you do it?" Finn said  
"Um...No...I don't really wanna do it," Jake said  
"Jake!" Roxy said  
"Haha, I'm just messing with y'all. I'll do it. Hmm...Where to start? Oh, ok. I think we should just take a few steps in the water. You can hold Jake's hand if you're scared," Jake said

Jake grabs Finn's hand and starts walking towards the water, but Finn doesn't move and falls over.

"Uhmmmm Jake….." Roxy said  
"Um...Oh it's ok, dude. I see the problem. It's just your feet," Jake said  
Jake bends down and grabs Finn's feet and starts walking him forward, "Boop. Beep. Boop. Beep. Boop. Beep. Boop. Beep. Beep. Boop. Beep. Boop."  
"Don't be scared. I shall not be scared," Finn said to himself.

Roxy looks at the scared look on Finn's face.

"Jaaaakkkkeeeeeee…" Roxy said  
The water touches Finn's feet and he immediately starts freaking out.  
"I'm afraid! Ah!" Finn screams and jumps on top of Jake and starts punching him, "Jake, get me out of the water! Now, Jake! Now! Now!"  
Jake inflates his head and walks Finn back to shore.

"I tried to warn ya," Roxy said  
"Hot jam! You're really scared of the ocean. In fact, you're so scared...it gives me an idea. Let's start a business of being scared of the ocean!" Jake said  
"Jake!" Finn said

"Not helping!" Roxy said  
"Ok. Ok. I have a plan to get rid of your fear. We'll start tomorrow morning," Jake said  
"But I must conquer this now!" Finn yells and runs towards the ocean, "I'm not afraid of you!"  
A large wave crashes in front of Finn and a single drop of water lands on his face.  
Finn screams and pulls back in slow motion.

Roxy felt bad for Finn but she had to admit his reaction was priceless.

"I'm afraid of you! I'm afraid of you! Ahhhhh!" Finn crawled over to Jake and Roxy, "Ok, yeah. Let's try tomorrow."

"Come on Rox we got some planning to do," Jake said

* * *

 **** **"** **Jake are you sure about this?" Roxy asked**

"Yeah it'll definitely help Finn get over his fear," Jake said

"Yeeeaahhhh, but what if he flips out and turns your face into pummel cake again?" Roxy asked

"That's why we tied him to the bed," Jake said pointing down.

Roxy looked down and saw the sleeping Finn in his nap sack tied to his bed, "Alright," Roxy said unsure.

"Alright lets wake him up. Fiiiinn. Finn. Hey, Finn. Wake up," Jake said  
Finn yawns and opens his eyes, "Morning, Jake. Roxy."  
"Ready for us to help you get over your ocean fear?" Jake asked  
"Yeah, man," Finn said  
"Cool...but we can only do this if you ask us," Jake said  
"I'm askin'!" Finn said  
"Then get ready for my three-step plan. Watch your troubles melt away with step one! Roxy!" Jake said  
Roxy summons her hammer and hits the wall of the bedroom and the entire structure breaks apart, leaving Finn, Roxy, and Jake floating on Finn's bed in the middle of the ocean.  
"Ahhhhhh! Are you guys crazy? This is not an OK thing to do!" Finn said

"He's freaking out," Roxy said to Jake.

"Dont worry all apart of the plan we just need to calm him down," Jake turns to Finn, "Hey. Hey. Come on. The ocean is your friend, and you got friends all around you right now. Miles and miles of friends."  
"You're nuts," Finn yelled

"Finn calm down you've got Jake and I here to help you," Roxy said in a soothing voice.

Finn just continues to freak out and struggle but can't seem to move.  
"Don't try to struggle, man," Jake pulls Finn's blankets back, to show that he was tied to the bed "I'll let you out in a second. You just need to calm down."  
"Really? Ok. I'm calming down," Finn said taking big breaths.  
"That's great. You're doing great. Ready for step two?" Jake said

"Maybe we should hold off on step two Jake," Roxy said looking down at Finn.

"Nah, Finn's got this," Jake said  
"Yeah. I can do it," Finn said breathing heavily.  
"Alright, dude. Step...two!" Jake said untying the ropes.  
The bed falls into the ocean, leaving Finn floating inside his sleeping bag and with Roxy and Jake on top of him.  
"Jake, this isn't a joke! It's touching me!" Finn screamed  
"Let it hold you, man! Let it hold you like a child!" Jake said  
Finn's face starts to contort into one of fear and pain, "I'm trying to let it hold me."  
"Breathe Finn! Breathe!" Roxy said  
Finn breathes in and out deeply but is still freaking out, "This isn't working!"  
"That means we gotta move to step three. Just don't scream," Jake said  
"W-what?" Finn said

"Wait Jake! Step three bad idea! Bad idea!" Roxy said  
"It's fine," Jake looks down at Finn, "I'm gonna push you underwater with my jowls. Just don't scream. Don't scream."  
Jake's jowls stretch down and he pushes Finn's head underwater.  
"What?!" Finn screamed as he was pushed underwater.

Finn screams and struggles underwater air bubbles coming out of the water.  
"Don't scream. Hold your breath, Finn. You got it, dude!" Jake yelled  
Finn screams and breaks out of his sleeping bag, sending Jake and Roxy flying into the water. Finn jumps onto Jake's head and starts pounding on him.  
"Get me away, Jake! Now, Jake! Now! Right now! Get-Get me away! AHHHHHH!" Finn screamed  
"Finn! Stop it, Finn! Ow!" Jake yelled  
Finn grabs Jake's ears and stretches them until they catch wind lifting Jake and Finn up. Roxy grabs Jake's legs as they are carried and to an island of pre-war ruins.

Finn lands on a building while Roxy and Jake land in the water. Jake pops out of the water to reveal a bruised face.  
"Hahaha! I'm safe! I'm safe! How'd I do?" Finn asked  
"I think we should give up," Jake said

"Yeah Finn, you don't have to conquer every fear. Nothing wrong with that," Roxy said  
"What? I made it all the way to level three," Finn said  
"Look, Finn. It's not that I don't want to help you...I just don't wanna get beat up anymore. I mean this," Jake points at his face," is my bread and butter. I can't have you messing up my bread and butter, dude."  
"You have to help me you guys. I can't do this without you two," Finn said  
"Ok. Fine...but only if you swear not to hit me anymore," Jake said  
"I swear I won't hit you anymore," Finn said  
"And also swear to only speak in rhymes. Speak in rhymes all the times," Jake said  
"I swear...and pigs have hair," Finn said  
"Yes. Perfect," Jake stretches big so he's towering over Finn, "And since you want more... it's time for step four."  
"What? I thought you said it was a three step plan...man," Finn said  
"I'm not that good at counting. Hahaha!" Jake said

"Yeah, he made like over 20 plans," Roxy said

Jake reaches behind the building on the island and pulls out a submarine, "Come on. Let's go kick your fear of the ocean where the sun don't shine...in the sea cucumber."

* * *

Roxy looked around in awe. The ocean was so beautiful. She just wished Finn felt the same way. She looked behind her to see Jake piloting the submarine but Finn was huddled in a corner hyper ventilating.  
"Check it, dude. One hundred percent awesome-itude," Jake said  
"Yeah. It's pretty math...you psychopath," Finn said  
"You know, it looks way more math if you open up your eyes," Jake said

"Come on Finn the sight is breathtaking," Roxy said  
Finn slowly opens his eyes and looks out the front, "Whoa…"  
"See, man? The ocean is beautiful. There's no reason to be afraid of things that are beautiful," Jake said  
"Hey. This isn't that bad. I'm actually glad," Finn said  
Jake points out the window, "Hey, look! A black abyss! Let's go check it out...sauerkraut."

"Jake!" Roxy said  
"No, Jake! Turn around! Turnaround!" Finn yelled, "Noooo!"  
"Saying, "Turn around" twice doesn't count as a rhyme, dude," Jake said  
Finn pushes Jake away from the submarine controls.  
"Hey, you swore!" Jake yelled  
Finn then pummels Jake.  
"Ow! My bread and butter!" Jake yeled  
Finn grabs the controls and jerks them violently.

"Finn calm down!" Roxy yelled grabbing Finn's arms and holding him back. Finn then uses his legs to kick at the controls.  
"No, dude! Don't!" Jake yelled  
The submarine moves wildly and launches torpedoes. One hits a building making it topple over onto the submarine. From the damage the submarine starts filling up with water.  
Finn freaks out as Roxy and Jake put on their dive suits.  
"Don't worry, dude. Everything's cool. This is the perfect segue into level five. Here, put this on," Jake said handing Finn a dive suit.  
Finn quickly puts the suit.  
"Just make sure you don't pull the emergency tab," Jake said  
Finn does the opposite and pulls the emergency tab.  
"No, dude! I said don't…!" Jake yelled  
Finn's suit expands rapidly and knocks Jake and Roxy back, making them hit their heads knocking them out. The submarine burst apart. Finn floats to the surface while Roxy and Jake float down into the abyss.

* * *

"Ughhh...my head," Roxy said sitting up.

Roxy looks around her to see she was lying on some type of underwater grass. She spots Finn holding up Jake.

"Finn! Jake!" Roxy said

"Roxy! You're okay!" Finn said grabbing the girl in a hug with Jake.

"Yeah I'm fine, and I'm proud too," Roxy said

"Huh?" Finn questioned.

"You faced your fear you're at the bottom of the ocean," Roxy said  
Finn finally realizes where he was and starts freaking out pulling on his emergent tab but nothing happens.

Roxy notices Finn freaking out, "Well it's a good first step."  
"Maybe we should celebrate on land," Jake said grabbing Finn. They pop up out of the water and swim onto the beach laying down.  
"I'm proud of you man. You did it!" Jake said  
"Thanks, dude," Finn said  
Finn's stomach starts to gurgle and then the Fear Feaster comes out of Finn's navel.  
"You've nothing to be proud of, boy! You will never get of your fear of the ocean!" Fear Feaster yelled

"You again!" Roxy said  
"Whoa, dude! What's with your bellybutton?" Jake asked  
"What the flip, man? I just swam to the bottom!" Finn yelled  
"No you didn't, cheater! You just sank to the bottom. You will never be a great hero," Fear Feaster said  
"He's right. I'll never be a hero," Finn said

"Don't listen to this butt nugget Finn. You can be a great hero even with a fear," Roxy said

"No he can't!" Fear Feaster yelled

"Yes he can!" Roxy yelled

"No he can't!" Fear Feaster yelled

"Yes he can!" Roxy yelled getting in Fear Feaster's face.

"No he can't!" Fear Feaster yelled getting in Roxy's face.

"HE CAN NOT!" Fear Feaster yelled

"HE SO CAN!" Roxy yelled  
Finn's stomach starts to rumble again and a black-smoke limousine comes out of him. The limousine's windows rolls down and Three gaseous beings come out.  
"Finn, you are wrong. The mark of a great hero is his flaw."  
"You know nothing, Wise Men!" Fear Feaster yelled  
"Silence, Fear Feaster! We know a lot!" Wise Men yelled  
Wait...Why did you wait so long to tell me?" Finn asked  
"Because the limo driver's flaw is being late!" Wise Men said  
"Sorry," The limo driver said  
"Farewell, Finn. You truly are the greatest hero of Ooo."  
The Wise Men go back inside the limo and then the limo drives back into Finn.  
"It's time for you to go away, Fear Feaster!" Finn yelled  
"What? Am I supposed to live in your tummy for the rest of my life?" Fear Feaster asked  
"Everybody has a flaw...and it looks like yours is smelling like my nasty guts," Finn said  
Fear Feaster is slowly sucked back into Finn's stomach.  
"Wonderful…" Fear Feaster said sarcastically.  
 _~And so fear is forced deep within the soul of a hero. Conquered... at least, for now...~_


	17. When Wedding Bells Thaw

**When Wedding Bells Thaw**

Roxy was sitting on the couch eyes closed listening to Jake play his viola. Finn was sitting next to Roxy but he had a glazed expression and his mouth was wide open.

Jake stops playing and looks up at Finn, "Are you okay, dude?"

"Yeah, why?" Finn asked

"You look bored," Jake said

"Naw, that's just how I look when I'm listening to music," Finn said

"Well good, because I'm about to kick it up a notch," Jake said

"Bring it!" Finn said

Jake starts playing again, and Finn's face slowly turns back into the same expression. Jake continues to play until there's a knock at the door.

"Who do you think it is?" Finn questioned going to the door.

"Could be anybody," Jake said stretching up with Finn on his back so he could see out the window.

"Who do you see?" Roxy asked

"Hmm...I can't quite make it out," Finn said

The figure turns around to reveal its Ice King.

"Ahh! It's the Ice King!" Finn yelled

"The Ice King?!" Jake yelled

"Ice King!" Roxy yelled falling off the couch.

Finn and Jake run outside followed by Roxy.

"Eiiiiaah!" Finn screamed kicking Ice King.

"Yeah! Kick his butt, dude!" Jake said

Finn attacks Ice King with his sword, but the Ice King hovers in the air dodging the attack and fires ice at Finn.

"Eat my sword, Ice King!" Finn yelled throwing his sword in the air. He throws it at the Ice King who uses his ice as a shield.

"Aww," Finn said

"You can not defeat me, child!" Ice King yelled

"I will, though! With a sweet kick!" Finn yelled launching himself at Ice King, but instead of kicking the Ice King he punches him, "Psych!"

The Ice King reflects Finn with his beard and freezes his head then flings him on the ground.

"Whoo, hoo hoo!" Jake said

"Finn!" Roxy said

"Now I can kill you! Oh wait, wait, wait. I am so stupid! Silly Billy! I came by to tell you the good news!" Ice King said

"What's the good news?" Finn asked

"I'm getting married...to someone who wants to marry me!" Ice King said happily.

Roxy's eyes widened and she reached over and pinched Jake.

"Ow! What'd you'd do that for?" Jake asked

"I wanted to make sure I wasn't dreaming," Roxy said

"You're supposed to pinch yourself!" Jake said

"Ooooohhhhh," Roxy said

"My betrothed is right over there!" Ice King said pointing to his left.

The group looks over and sees an Old Lady Princess sitting in a wagon surrounded by penguins.

"Hi, honey!" Ice King said waving over.

"Hey, cool guy," Old Lady Princess waved back.

"I'm a lucky guy. I didn't even have to kidnap this one! She fell in love with me the moment I slipped on her engagement ring!" Ice King exclaimed

"Eww," Finn said

Ice King walked over to Roxy, "My little diamond you're gonna be in papa's wedding!"

"What?!" Roxy explained

"That's right! I've even got a dress for you!" Ice King said with a wide smile.

"NO!" Roxy said falling to her knees in horror.

"YES!" Ice King yelled thinking Roxy was playing.

"The lady penguins are throwing my bride one of those "bachelorette" parties and guess who gets to join in all the fun," Ice King said smiling down at Roxy.

"Uhhhhh….Gunther?" Roxy said

"Nope! You!" Ice King said

"Hold on I-!"

Roxy was cut off when the penguins picked her up and threw her in the wagon with Old Lady Princess and wheeled the two away.

"Save me!" Roxy cried out to Finn and Jake.

"Haha! Have fun!" Ice King called out.

* * *

Lights, music, smoke machine, crazy mythical creatures, the lady penguins were throwing a raging party. Roxy waves her arms around as she danced around. A penguin walked by with a plate of food and Roxy grabbed a slice of cake off of it. A snow man's head was being bounced around the crowd like a beach ball. Roxy looked across the dance floor and saw Old Lady Princess sitting by herself with that creepy blank look in her eyes.

"What is up with her?" Roxy thought to herself.

Roxy took a few steps over to the princess but was stopped by a few penguins crowding around her.

"Huh? What is it?" Roxy asked

"Wenk Wenk!"

A penguin walked over with a blindfold and handed it to Roxy.

"Whats this for?" Roxy asked

Suddenly a large pinata shaped like the Ice King dropped down in front of her.

"Ohhoho!" Roxy said with a smile.

Another penguin walked over with a bat but Roxy stopped her.

"Nah I got this," Roxy said

She summoned her hammer and with a large swing hit the pinata and it exploded. Everyone in the party cheered as candy rain down on them.

"Whoooooo! Best party ever!" Roxy yelled

* * *

Roxy woke up with blurred vision. She sat up and rubbed her eyes hoping to clear her vision.

"Whoa," Roxy said once her vision focused.

The Ice King's lair was trashed.

"I really hope I don't have to clean this up," Roxy said

* * *

Roxy had tried to sneak out of the Ice kingdom but was stopped by some penguins. Luckily they weren't looking for her to help clean but to get her fit for her dress for the wedding today.

Roxy was now standing in front of a mirror wearing a blue cinderella ball gown. An ice minion was hemming the bottom of the dress as Old Lady Princess sat behind Roxy. Roxy could see the princess sitting behind her with that still dazed look on her face with her wide eyes looking larger than before.

"Sooooo, how'd you and Ice King meet?" Roxy asked Old Lady Princess.

"Oh, he kidnapped me," Old Lady Princess said as if it was normal.

"Riiggghhht….hehe he does that," Roxy said

The ice minion spun his finger signaling for Roxy to give a spin. Roxy spins around in the dress. She had to admit it was pretty when Ice King said he was putting her in a dress she had her doubts, but as soon as the wedding is over she is getting out of it.

"Oh, darling! My little Diamond! The ceremony will be starting soon," Ice King said walking into the room.

"Let's just get this over," Roxy said

* * *

The Ice King created an altar made out of snow and he had one the penguins playing music on a giant ice sculpture. Ice King had also built a priest snowman. Finn and Jake walked in wearing black bow ties. Roxy was standing next to Old Lady Princess who had a veil over her head. She noticed the princess had few tears coming from her eyes.

"Are you okay?" Roxy asked

"Yes, I'm fine," Old Lady Princess said

"Are you sure because your-"

"Now now, ladies they'll be plenty of time to talk after the wedding," Ice King said moving Roxy away and bringing out some rope.

Roxy looked confused as she watched the Ice King tie up his bride.

"Finn! Jake!" Roxy called out.

"Wow, Rox you look great!" Jake said

"Ya think so?" Roxy asked looking down at her dress.

"Definitely," Finn said giving Roxy a thumbs up.

"Finn, Jake, you made it! Come on up here. I'm almost finished tying up my bride," Ice King said

"Weird and your bride is into that?" Finn asked

"This is a traditional wedding ritual for good luck in the Ice Kingdom. You see, she'll be hoisted up and then lowered down and when she touches my beard from above, she will be my queen!" Ice King said giggling

Finn shrugged his shoulders, "Well...cool, man. I'm glad y'all are happy...being crazy together."

"Thank you! Excuse me as we finish preparing for the nuptials. 2, 4, 8, 16, 20, uh-"

"32," Snowman Priest said

"Yes—32, 64, one hundred and—eh," Ice King said

Old Lady Princess opened her eyes and they were larger than before.

"Okay something is definitely going on here," Roxy said, she grabbed Finn's arm, "Come with me, Finn."

As the two approached Old Lady Princess Finn finally caught sight of the older woman's eyes,

"Whoa, you've got ridiculously large eyes, princess! Are you allergic to somethin'?" Finn asked

Old Lady Princess's eyes started to leak even more, "No, Finn. I was just born like this."

"No they were definitely smaller than before," Roxy said

"No, darling you must be mistaken," Old Lady Princess said

"Why are you crying?" Finn asked

"I'm not crying my tear sac is broken!" Old Lady Princess said

"What the whiz is going on?" Roxy said

Finn and Roxy looked closer at Old Lady Princess's eyes and see Old Lady Princess in her own eyes in some type of jail cell.

"Help me!" Eye Old Lady Princess yelled

"What?!" Finn and Roxy yelled

"I knew something weird was going on," Roxy said

"The Ice King cursed me! You've gotta set me free. I would rather die than marry the Ice King!" Eye Old Lady Princess said

"He tricked me! And I was happy for that son of a toot!" Finn said

"I put on a dress for that wing nut!" Roxy yelled

"Look at her ring," Jake pointed out.

"That's what cursed her! Don't worry, princess. I'll remove this ring and save your life," Finn said as he tried to remove the ring.

Ice King spots this and immediately become angry, "No! She's my love boat!"

"No, man. You cursed her. She hates you!" Finn yelled

"Okay, that's your opinion!" Ice King yelled

"Wait a minute! So you knew she was cursed all along, which means you knew she wasn't trying to steal your Demonic Eye Junk or whatever, and you knew you had total control of her!" Jake yelled

"Yeah, yes, that's right," Ice King said

"So then why did you make us go through all that junk about why marriage is worth stuff?!" Jake yelled

"Oh, I don't know...I'm complicated and spontaneous! Hahaha! That's probably why she wants to marry me!" Ice King said

"She doesn't!" Roxy yelled

"Awwww is my little diamond sad that papa will have another woman in his life," Ice King said

"No you coot!" Roxy yelled

"She wants to marry you because you brainwashed her!" Jake yelled

"Silence!" Ice King yelled shooting ice at Finn and Jake.

"Whoa, wait!" Finn yelled but his feet got frozen along with Jake's, "Aw, man!"

"Stop this!" Roxy yelled about to attack.

Ice King then freeze's the bottom of her dress sticking her to the ground.

"Oh come on!" Roxy yelled

"It's time for the lowering ceremony! Hoist her up!" Ice King said

Some penguins pull on the rope, lifting Old Lady Princess up into the air.

"Hehehehe! Commence the lowering!" Ice King yelled

Roxy was having trouble chiseling away at the ice so she did the only thing she could think of she started tugging at the dress hoping it would rip.

The Old Lady Princess starts to be lowered slowly. Finn takes off his bow tie and uses it to break the ice on his feet. Roxy finally rips her dress breaking her way out of the ice.

"Yes, nothing can stop me now, Ice King said

"Hyah!" Finn yelled punching the Ice King and they both fall of the ice chapel.

"What is wrong with you, man?!" Finn yelled grabbing the Ice King's nose.

"Strangling the groom's nose at a wedding? What's wrong with you?! You're the one that there's something wrong with!" Ice King yelled

Finn gets knocked into the penguins and they drop the rope making Old Lady Princess fall, but she's luckily caught by Roxy.

"Got ya!" Roxy said

"Thanks, man," Old Lady Princess said

Ice King approaches Finn, "I think you dropped something," He tosses a penguin at Finn, "Catch!" He yelled freezing the penguin.

"Huh?" Finn said catching the penguin. The weight of the penguin causes Finn to sink into the snow.

Roxy placed Old Lady Princess in Jake's arms before running at the Ice King, "Attack!"

Ice King creates an ice trail making Roxy slip and slide into another room. Roxy's scream is followed by a large crash.

"Roxy!" Finn yelled

Ice King then blast Jake's body making him let go of Old Lady Princess.

"Jake!" Finn yelled

Jake falls back due to the weight of the ice but he's able to slip off the ring that was controlling Old Lady Princess.

Old Lady Princess's eyes go back to normal as she looked around, "Huh, what?"

The frozen Jake slides next to Finn.

"Oh hey," Finn said

"Hey," Jake said

"You got the ring off her finger?" Finn asked

"Huh? Oh. Oh yeah. Now she's not hypnotized, but we're still frozen," Jake said

"I got a plan," Finn said

"Oh, good," Jake said

"We just need a distraction," Finn said

"Now, let's try that again. Lower her!" Ice King yelled

"You lousy, butt-faced pig! I hate you!" Old Lady Princess yelled as she was lowered to Ice King.

"Here she comes. Yes, touch my beard, deary. Yes, that's right. Almost there…" Ice King said holding his beard up.

Suddenly there was a rumbling sound and the room started to shake. The doorway Roxy slid into was broken open.

"Onward my steed!" Roxy yelled

Roxy was riding on top of Iceopede holding her hammer up.

"Wha?" Ice King said looking over at Roxy.

"Now!" Finn said

While the Ice King was distracted Jake stretches his finger and touches the Ice King's beard.

"Oh! I'm married, right, snowman?" Ice King said

"Yes, it's official," The snowman priest said

"It's official! You done married a dog, dude!" Finn said

"What? What's that supposed to-" Ice King looks to see Jake's finger was touching Ice King's beard, "-Oh no."

Finn, Jake, and Roxy all laugh.

"Wait, what the? What am I laughing' about?" Jake said

"Let's go home, boys!" Roxy said

She directs Iceopede to pick up the two in its mouth and they leave the Ice Kingdom. When they make it back to the Treehouse Iceopede drops Finn and Jake and Roxy hops off the ice creatures back.

"Be free my Iceopede!" Roxy said before slapping Iceopede's backside.

Iceopede lets out a screech and runs off.

"Bye!" Finn asked

"See ya!" Jake yelled

Roxy looks down at the still frozen Jake, "I'll go run you some hot bath water to unthaw you."

* * *

Roxy, Finn, and Jake were now relaxing in the living room of the Treehouse.

"And now everything's back to normal," Finn said

"Well, I wouldn't say everything," Jake said

The three look at the door to see Ice King knocking on the door.

"Come on, guys. Help me celebrate my un-marriage," Ice King yelled

Finn, Roxy, and Jake laugh as Ice King continues to knock on the door.


	18. The Duke of Nuts

**The Duke**

"So what's all the hubbub about Princess Bubblegum?" Roxy asked

"I wanted to show you something," Princess Bubblegum said walking Roxy to a room.

As Princess Bubblegum opened the door Roxy was awed at all the sciencey looking stuff.

"Oooooo," Roxy said about to touch something.

"Don't touch," Princess Bubblegum said smacking Roxy's hand away.

"Awww," Roxy said

"Come come, what I wanted to show you is right over here," Princess Bubblegum said

She stopped in front of a large object that was covered with a sheet. Princess Bubblegum gripped the sheet, as Roxy watched.

"Allow me to present the Memotrometoer!" Princess Bubblegum said pulling the sheet off.

In front of Roxy was a large metal chair that resembled a throne. On top of the chair was a metal helmet and hanging above the chair was a large tv screen.

"Oooooo…..what does it do?" Roxy asked

"It reaches down into the deep depths of your mind to pull out memories which are recorded and displayed on the screen above," Princess Bubblegum explained

"So this thing can reveal old memories. *GASP* Do you think it could recover the missing memories I have?" Roxy asked

"That's exactly what it's going to do," Princess Bubblegum said

"Whoo! I wanna try it out!" Roxy said

"Just sit in the seat and I'll hook you up," Princess Bubblegum said

Roxy excitedly walked over to the chair and sat down. Princess Bubblegum lowered the helmet onto Roxy's head. The helmet sat over the girl's eyes blocking her vision of the outside world.

"Now just relax and clear your mind," Princess Bubblegum said turning on the machine.

"Can do princess," Roxy said

Roxy took a deep breath and relaxed into the chair. As the machine turned on a low humming sound was heard as the viewing screen above flickered on. The screen only displayed static as Princess Bubblegum turned some dials. As Princess Bubblegum continued to mess with the dial an image started to display on the screen.

"Oh, I got something," Princess Bubblegum said

The image was extremely fuzzy and could barely be seen beneath all the static.

"Gotta clear up the picture," Princess Bubblegum said

"Is it working?" Roxy asked

"It's displaying something but I can't get a clear picture of it," Princess Bubblegum said

As Princess Bubblegum fiddled around some more the picture started clear up. She could make out the image of two hands. The hands were intertwined with each other and they both had bracelets on the wrist.

"Hmmmmm…" Princess Bubblegum said squinting as she looked at the picture.

Suddenly the machine started to spark as smoke came from it.

"Whoa!" Princess Bubblegum yelled

"Ah! I smell smoke!" Roxy yelped

"Take off the helmet!" Princess Bubblegum yelled

The machine then caught on fire as Roxy ripped off the helmet and jumped away from it. The door to the lab was kicked open as Peppermint Butler ran in with a fire extinguisher. He effectively put out the small fire on the machine as Princess Bubblegum and Roxy opened up some windows to clear out the smoke.

"What happened?" Roxy asked

"Seems it overheated. The machine took a lot of power trying to dig out your memories. It just couldn't handle digging that deep into your mind," Princess Bubblegum said

"Awww man," Roxy said

"Don't worry it just needs a little recalibrating and I should be able to get it up and running," Princess Bubblegum said

"Yay!" Roxy said

"But it's gonna take a while," Princess Bubblegum said

"Boooo," Roxy said

"Buuuut I was able to get an image out of it," Princess Bubblegum said

"Yay!" Roxy said

The two girls walk over to the screen and see the image of the two hands holding frozen on it.

"Does this look familiar?" Princess Bubblegum asked

Roxy stared at the screen staring intently at the locked hands. Her focus was on the bracelets on the wrists. Roxy then lifts up the sleeve to her sweater revealing the leather bracelet she had on that she had found. She looked from her bracelet to the one displayed on the screen.

"It's the same. It's the same! Princess Bubblegum it's the same!" Roxy exclaimed showing Princess Bubblegum the bracelet.

"That must mean that the hand on the left is yours, but who's holding your hand?" Princess Bubblegum pondered

"I don't know, but whoever it is had a matching bracelet just like this one. I found this one recently, so that must mean the other one could be found too. If I find it I might get some more clues about who I am," Roxy said

"It's very plausible," Princess Bubblegum said

"Thanks for the help Princess Bubblegum, I'm one step closer to discovering who Roxane is," Roxy said

"Glad I could help," Princess Bubblegum said

"Oh, Princess," Peppermint Butler said getting the girls attention.

"Yeah Peppermint Butler?" Princess Bubblegum asked

"Don't forget that you have to make preparations for the Grand Meeting of Ooo Royalty," Peppermint Butler said

"Of course, thanks for the reminder," Princess Bubblegum said

"Grand meeting?" Roxy asked

"I'll tell you all about. Come on you can help me pick out a dress and I can test out my speech on you," Princess Bubblegum said before walking out the room.

Roxy shrugs her shoulders before following Princess Bubblegum out the room.

"Wait, Princess, there's one more thing!" Peppermint Butler said

"Hmmm?" Princess Bubblegum questioned turning around.

"You have a visitor," Peppermint Butler said

"A visitor?" Princess Bubblegum asked, "Who is it?"

"The Duke of Nuts," Peppermint Butler said

Princess Bubblegum suddenly got a dark look on her face, "Duuuukkkkeeee."

Princess Bubblegum clenched her fist before stomping out the room.

"Is she okay?" Roxy asked Peppermint Butler.

"She'll be fine. Would you mind following the Princess and keep her from harming the guest," Peppermint Butler said

"Can do Pepps you can count on me," Roxy said

Roxy ran out the room catching up with Princess Bubblegum. The pink Princess stomped her way into the meeting room of the castle with Roxy skipping behind her. As the two girls entered the room they spotted no one there.

"Where the heck is he?!" Princess Bubblegum said angrily.

"She really does not like this Duke," Roxy thought

As Princess Bubblegum fumed in the room Roxy heard a strange noise, it sounded like slurping. She turned her head to see a door to another room wide open.

"Hey, Princess maybe he wandered into there," Roxy said pointing at the open door.

Princess Bubblegum whips her head around and looks at the door. She let out a gasp before running over to the room. As Princess Bubblegum looked into the door she let out an angry shout. Roxy ran over to the door and peered inside. Inside the room was a tall guy with a walnut for a head. He was crouching on the ground clutching an empty pudding cup in his hand. He also had several dozen cups of empty pudding around him along with a large mountain pile of empty pudding cups behind him. It was clear he was the culprit with all the pudding smeared on his face.

"Dude how'd you eat all of that?" Roxy asked

"Duke of Nuts!" Princess Bubblegum yelled

The Duke yelped and jumped back fear in his eyes as Princess Bubblegum lunged at him.

"Whoa, Princess Bubblegum calm down!" Roxy yelled pulling Princess Bubblegum back.

"Get him out! I want him out!" Princess Bubblegum yelled kicking at the Duke.

"You heard her man run!" Roxy said

The Duke got up and ran out the room. Roxy let go of Princess Bubblegum once the Duke was out of sight. Princess Bubblegum ran out the room and Roxy chased after her. Princess Bubblegum chased the Duke all the way to drawbridge waving her fist around angrily.

"Yeah, go on, get out of here! Unless you feel like a fist cookie, you better keep runnin'!" Princess Bubblegum yelled

"Wow Princess Bubblegum, I've never seen you this angry before," Roxy said

"I hate that guy!" Princess Bubblegum shouted

"Okay…..hey how about we go prepare you for that big important meeting, yeah that sounds like a good idea," Roxy said as she led the fuming Princess back inside.

As Roxy led Princess Bubblegum up to her room the pink princess kept muttering on how she was gonna throttle the Duke of Nuts.

"Let's get you ready for the meeting that'll calm you down Princess Bubblegum," Roxy said

"Nothing can calm down my hatred for that man," Princess Bubblegum said

"Okay…" Roxy said

Princess Bubblegum opened the door to her room and walked in. Before Roxy could enter a window in the room shattered open and something flew in smashing into Princess Bubblegum's face. Roxy coughed as green dust wafted out of the room.

"Princess Bubblegum!" Roxy yelled

She ran into the room and gasped seeing Princess Bubblegum.

"P-P-Princess….." Roxy pointed at Princess Bubblegum not knowing what to say, her eyes wide.

Princess Bubblegum turned around looking in a mirror and once she saw her appearance she let out a scream.

Her skin was no longer pink but green. Her hair was green too, or at least what was left of it.

"Duke of Nuts! What have you done?!" Princess Bubblegum yelled

"Uh…...I'll go find help," Roxy said

* * *

"Dr. Ice Cream!" Roxy yelled kicking a door open.

"Oh Roxy, what's w-whoa!" Dr. Ice Cream said

Roxy had picked up Dr. Ice Cream and carried him out of the room. Roxy ran out of the infirmary and carried Dr. Ice Cream to Princess Bubblegum's room.

"This!" Roxy yelled putting Dr. Ice Cream down.

"Oh Princess!" Dr. Ice Cream yelled running over to Princess Bubblegum.

Dr. Ice Cream started putting Princess Bubblegum in a rubber suit and filled it with some type of medicine. At that moment Finn and Jake entered the room.

"Don't worry, my dear. I'll have you fixed up in no time!" Dr. Ice Cream said

"Princess! Are you OK?" Finn asked

"Yeah, I guess if green and bald is okay," Princess Bubblegum said sarcastically pointing at her head.

Finn gasps as Jake starts to laugh.

"Oh boy. I'm sorry! I can't stop now," Jake said laughing.

"Jake!" Roxy said

"My dear, not to worry! The medicine milk in this suit will have you healed lickety-split! In just five days you'll be back to your beautiful bubblegummy self," Dr. Ice Cream said

"Five days?! The Grand Meeting of Ooo Royalty is tonight!" Princess Bubblegum yelled waving her arms around.

The movement causes a hole in Princess Bubblegum's suit making the liquid flow out of it. Roxy hands Dr. Ice Cream some tape as the Dr. tries to patch the hole up.

"Princess Bubblegum calm down," Roxy said

"Calm down! I will never calm down after what he did!" Princess Bubblegum yelled

She continued to wave her arms around angrily causing more holes in the suit.

"Oh boy," Roxy said

"Uh...hey, Princess. There's something I should tell you about that bottle that hit you in the face," Finn said

"I already know, Finn! The Duke of Nuts has always been a bad guy. But now that he's done this, I'll never forgive him! And it's not just because I hate the Duke! I'd never forgive anybody who did this to me! I'd hate them!" Princess Bubblegum yelled

"Yeah but-"

"FOREVER!" Princess Bubblegum yelled out.

"Forever?" Finn squeaked out.

"Finally. I have a witness to his misdeeds!" Princess Bubblegum yelled pointing at Roxy.

"Three witnesses!" Jake said gesturing to himself and Finn.

"Jake!" Finn said

"Oh Finn, my flawless, flawless champion, bring the Duke of Nuts to justice. The justice of a cold dungeon! Hahahahahaha!" Princess Bubblegum continues to laugh hysterically as more holes in suit appear.

Roxy lets out a sigh before pulling out a large roll of duct tape.

Jake pulled Finn over to a corner in the room as the two talked quietly.

"This is not gonna hold up," Roxy said as she tried to help Dr. Ice Cream patch up the holes in Princess Bubblegum's suit, "Is there something we can put her in and let her soak?"

"That's a perfect idea. I'll go get Nurse Poundcake," Dr. Ice Cream said

"Princess! I won't rest until the villainous duke is captured!" Finn said

Princess Bubblegum got a creepy smile on her face before rubbing her hands in a villainous way, "Oh, thank you, Finn! Hahahahaha!"

"Woah. Okay, and by then, hopefully, you'll have taken care of...this," Finn said gesturing to Princess Bubblegum's face.

Roxy leans in close to Finn and Jake, "Please take care of the Duke and I'll take care of…." Roxy turns to Princess Bubblegum who was still laughing crazily, "of that," Roxy starts to push Princess Bubblegum out the room, "Come on Princess Bubblegum, let's go," Roxy said pushing out the still laughing Princess.

* * *

Roxy was standing on a stepping stool stirring a large tub of the milk medicine needed to heal Princess Bubblegum.

"Now we just need to add in the sugar," Dr. Ice Cream said

Nurse Poundcake picks up a large sack of sugar and dumps it into the tub as Roxy stirs the concoction.

"We're ready Princess!" Dr. Ice Cream called out.

Princess Bubblegum steps into the room wearing a purple and green bathing suit. She steps into the large tub and sits down soaking her body.

"How you feeling Princess?" Roxy asked

"Green," Princess Bubblegum said

"...Sorry to hear that," Roxy said

"Now Princess in order to fix this you're going to need to stay immersed in the milk medicine at all times," Dr. Ice Cream said

"Ughhh, how am I supposed to go to the meeting like this!" Princess Bubblegum said

"I have an idea," Peppermint Butler said appearing.

"What's the plan Pepps?" Roxy asked

Peppermint Butler pulled Roxy down and whispered in her ear.

"Oooo sounds fun! I'll get em'!" Roxy said before running out the room.

"What is she going to get?" Princess Bubblegum asked

"The transportation," Peppermint Butler said, he then pulled out a welding torch and a mask, "Now I must make the preparations."

* * *

"I'm almost done Princess," Peppermint Butler said

Princess Bubblegum looks over the side of the tub to see Peppermint Butler had put wheels on it.

"I see now but what's gonna pull it?" Princess Bubblegum asked

As soon as she said that a wall smashes open.

"Whoooooowhooooooo!" Roxy yelled

She was riding on the back of a gummy bear horse as it bucked around the room wildly.

* * *

Roxy was sitting next to Princess Bubblegum on the edge of the tub as Peppermint Butler drove the carriage to the meeting. Princess Bubblegum had a glum look on her face as she sulked in the tub.

"Aww don't look so down Princess it's not….too bad," Roxy said

"You can't even say that to me with a straight face," Princess Bubblegum deadpanned

Roxy looks at Princess Bubblegum and goes to repeat her sentence but the words get caught in her throat, "*SIGH* Your right."

"Uggghhh!" Princess Bubblegum said falling back into the tub.

"Halt!"

The carriage stops as Finn jumped in front of the tub holding his hand up.

"Finn! Did you find the duke yet?" Princess Bubblegum asked

"Not yet, but you are in grave danger, Princess. There is an assassin in these very woods, dead set on stopping you from reaching the Grand Meeting. In fact, what's that rustling in the bush?" Finn said pointing at a bush.

The bush moves, "Rustle. Rustle, rustle."

That's when Jake pops out of the bush wearing a burglar mask, "I'm an ambush! Halt!"

"What's going on?!" Finn yelled with bad acting.

"Oh, Did I come out too early?" Jake said

Finn coughs giving Jake a look, "What are you here to do, stranger?"

"I've come for the princess. I'm an assassin!" Jake said making his hand into an ax.

"Do you know what they're doing?" Princess Bubblegum asked Roxy.

"No clue," Roxy replied

"Stand back! I will stop him!" Finn yelled, he jumped at Jake with a kick missing the dog completely, "Hi-yah!"

"Hi-yah!" Jake yelled kicking back at Finn.

The two pretend to fight some more making Roxy and Princess Bubblegum look even more confused.

"I will kill you! And raise your children as my own!" Jake yelled

Jake then punches Finn in the stomach knocking him into a rock.

Finn lets out a groan as he sits up, "Remember, it's just acting, Jake!"

"Sorry, dude!" Jake said, he runs over to the carriage and kicks Peppermint Butler off of it. He holds up his ax hand standing in front of Princess Bubblegum, "Now, to kill you up. But wait, surely this cannot be the fair Princess Bubblegum! Where are her pink, flush cheeks?" Jake grabbed Princess Bubblegum's cheeks, "The long gooey hair?"

With an annoyed look, Princess Bubblegum slaps away Jake knocking him onto the ground.

"Clearly, the princess travels elsewhere. Later, Bubblegum!" Jake said before jumping into a bush. The bush rustles for a second then Jake's voice is heard again, "Get out there, man!"

"I don't know if I can do this," The Duke of Nuts voice came out from the bush.

"Go, go, go, go!" Jake said

The Duke of Nuts steps out from the bush, "And that's how I, the Duke of Nuts, by disfiguring you beyond all recognition, humbly saved your life."

"Yeah, alright!" Jake said reappearing clapping.

"Yeah!" Finn said happily.

Roxy lets out a groan before pinching her brow, "Boys…."

"What was the point of this little play again? And why isn't the duke clapped in irons?!" Princess Bubblegum said

"She's right. Innocent or not, I should accept what's coming to me," The Duke of Nuts said putting his head down and holding his hands out.

"Peppermint Butler!" Princess Bubblegum said

Peppermint Butler comes out with golden handcuffs. He walks over to The Duke of Nuts holding the cuffs up. The Duke of Nuts was much taller than Peppermint Butler so the small piece of candy couldn't reach the man's hands to cuff him. He jumped a little not being able to reach the Duke.

Princess Bubblegum lets out a sigh, "Roxy! Chain the Duke!"

"Oh, no!" Finn said

"Princess Bubblegum don't you think this might be a little too much," Roxy said

"DO IT!" Princess Bubblegum said with an angry look.

Roxy jumps away from Princess Bubblegum and takes the cuffs from Peppermint Butler.

"Nuttin's going my way today," The Duke of Nuts said

Before Roxy could move Finn jumped in front of her and kicked the cuffs out of her hands.

"Finn! What the hey hey man!" Roxy said

"Finn?" Princess Bubblegum said

"The duke didn't throw that bottle! Ahh-Princess, I have something sucky to confess. I'm the one who threw the bottle. I'm sorry, but I knew if I told you, you'd hate me forever!" Finn said

"Awww Finn," Roxy said putting her hand on her forehead.

"Hmm...well, I could never stay mad at you forever. And you seem genuinely penitent," Princess Bubblegum said

"I don't even know what that means, but thank you!" Finn said

"But that doesn't douse my hatred for the duke!" Princess Bubblegum yelled pointing at The Duke.

"Yeah, what's up with that hate?" Jake asked

"That jerk always empties out my pudding pantry!" Princess Bubblegum yelled

"Wait he eats that much pudding every time he comes!" Roxy exclaimed

"Every time!" Princess Bubblegum yelled

Roxy lets out a low whistle, "That is a lot of pudding. I can see why you get so mad."

"Aw, shucks. He just can't control himself around pudding. He goes cocoa-nuts for it! Because he has a pudding deficiency!" Finn said

"It's true, your majesty. I'm sorry for my medical condition," The Duke of Nuts said with a sad face.

"Oh, my, you poor man! Of course, you're forgiven!" Princess Bubblegum said, she then leans over to Finn, Jake, and Roxy, "Yeah, I don't believe a word from him."

"I'm really sorry about making you temporarily ugly, Princess. Especially before the Grand Meeting of Ooo Royalty. I wish there was some way to make it up to you," Finn said

"Maybe there is, Finn. Maybe there is...hey!" Princess Bubblegum stopped mid sentence when she saw Finn and Jake walking away.

"Hmm, what? You said maybe," Finn said

"Roxy I'm gonna need you to get me my extra crowns," Princess Bubblegum said

"Oh, I see where this is going," Roxy said with a smile.

* * *

Roxy was sitting on the couch at home. In her hand was a picture Princess Bubblegum had printed out of the recovered memory. Roxy stared intently at the photo, looking at the picture, she focused on the person's hand who was holding hers.

"Who are you," Roxy questioned

Roxy looked at her picture and then back at her bracelet. She squinted as she looked at the bracelet the other person in the photo was wearing.

"My bracelet has my name on it, so does that mean that their bracelet has their name on it?" Roxy questioned

She held the photo extra close to her face trying to find the name on the bracelet.

*BAM*

Roxy jumped when the front door was slammed open. She looked up to see Finn and Jake run into the house slamming the door behind them and they looked terrible.

"Whoa, what happened to you two?" Roxy asked

Princess Bubblegum had Finn and Jake replace her at the royal meeting. She had them in pink wigs wearing her extra crowns.

Now the boys were missing their crowns and their wigs were torn up. They also had a couple of scrapes and bruises.

"We had a heavy debate at the meeting," Jake said

"Okay…." Roxy said

*Tap Tap*

Roxy looked to her left hearing a tapping noise. She saw a red squirrel and a little legume boy sitting outside the window.

"Who are those guys?" Roxy asked

"No one! Don't let them in!" Jake said

"Uh….." Roxy looked back over at the window and saw the red squirrel glaring at Jake, "I'm just gonna head to bed. Night guys."

"Night Roxy," Finn and Jake said

Roxy changed into her Jammies and laid in her hammock. She pulled out her picture again giving it one last look, she then folded up the picture and puts it under her pillow before going to sleep.

 **End**


	19. Freak City

**Freak City**

Roxy, Finn, and Jake were enjoying their time as they walked through a forest. Roxy walked casually behind Finn and Jake as the two boys messed around. In her short time in Ooo she's realized that she's taken on the role of the boy's older sister, even if Jake was older than her. She seemed to be the most mature of the group, which was saying a lot. Even though she's found out only a minuscule piece of her past she's not all that saddened by it, she's come to really care about her new family.

"Walking, walking, walking. Hambone break!" Finn said before he started hamboning on his knees.

"WooHoo! Hey!" Jake said when Finn's hands went to Jake's head, "Get away from me. Quit it. Hahahaha!" Jake laughed as Finn hamboned on him.

Roxy giggled at the two, then joined in hamboning on Jake with Finn.

"Hahaha you guys," Jake laughed

"Food for a beggar…"

The three stopped what they were doing and looked over to see a large man cloaked in a brown fur coat, so only his eyes could be seen. He had a yellow hat on and as soon as Roxy looked at the man she got a strange feeling from him.

"Food for a poor old man?" The man said

"Whoa!" Jake said

"Geez Louise, guy," Finn said

"So you got any, kid? Food?" The man said sticking his hand out in front of Finn.

"Hey, man back up," Roxy said stepping between Finn and the man.

Finn stands behind Roxy with Jake as he reaches into his backpack pulling out a sugar cube. Finn was talking to Jake about giving the sugar cube to the man but Roxy wasn't paying attention to the two boys conversation as she was putting all her focus on glaring at the man before her. She didn't notice her bell on her necklace glowed slightly.

"I don't like you….your weird," Roxy said to the man.

"You're weird," The man retorted back.

Roxy growls at the man.

Finn stepped in front of Roxy facing the man holding out the sugar cube out, "Here you go, buddy."

"Wait, Finn," Roxy said

The man snatches the sugar cube out Finn's hand stuffing it in his mouth.

"You know, believe or not, I'm not really a beggar. I'm actually a…" The man throws his coat off, "Magic Man!"

"Whoa!" Finn and Jake said

Roxy just narrows her eyes further.

"This guy….just looking at him makes me angry," Roxy thought

"Aw, yeah!" Finn said

"He's magic! I didn't expect this," Jake said

Magic Man gets down on one knee and starts whistling as he holds his hand out, a bird flies over and lands on his outstretched hand. He waves his hand over the bird and it turns inside out, "Magic...Away!" He shoos the bird and it tries to fly away but it just falls to the ground flopping away making a squishing noise as it goes.

Jake was shuddering holding onto Finn while Roxy was behind a rock vomiting.

"Think happy thoughts…Little, cute, bees, little babies, tiny, tiny bunnies," Jake said shuddering.

"What is wrong with you, Magic Man?!" Finn yelled

Roxy looks over the rock and points at the Magic Man, "I knew he was weird!" The inside out bird flops by again and Roxy's head ducks back behind the rock and she hurl's some more.

"You gave me that candy now I'll do you a favor in return. A magic favor," Magic Man said. He zaps Finn and the boy's body starts to contort, "A mystical, magical favor!"

Roxy looks up and her eyes widen, "Finn!"

Finn's body transforms and he's turned into a giant foot.

"Whoa, dude!" Jake yelled

"...For you!" Magic Man said

"Why did you do that!?" Finn yelled

"Because on this day, a magical life lesson comes to you," Magic Man said

"No! Change me back," Finn yelled

"Yeah change him back before I turn _you_ inside out!" Roxy yelled

"Not until you appreciate what a jerk I am. Wazoo!" Magic Man said, he jumps into the air and explodes into fireworks and the fireworks spell out "Eat It."

"What a nutty guy," Jake said

"What kind of deal is that? I help somebody out and they make me a stinky foot," Finn said

Jake sniffs Finn, "You smell pretty good."

"Get off of me, man! I can't be a hero if I'm a big good-smelling foot!" Finn yelled

"I will destroy him once I find him," Roxy lays her hand on Foot Finn, "I'm so sorry Finn, don't worry I'll mash that guy's face in and make him turn you back to normal."

"Maybe you guys are looking at this magic gift all wrong. Now that Finn's a huge foot he can kick evil's butt, like, way more times as hard. He's 100% kick!" Jake said

"Jake!" Roxy yelled

"Why are you being so level-headed about this?" Finn said

"Don't be a siss, Finn. Here, c'mon kick my butt," Jake said before making his butt big.

"You're the SISS, siss! Augh!" Finn yelled before kicking Jake, but just ends up falling over.

"Ouch! oooh! Ouch," Jake faked out, "See, man. Let's give your foot body a shot."

"No, dude! I wanna go find that magic man and get my body back!" Finn said

"Shhh shhh shhh shhh. Just be a foot for a little bit," Jake said, he walked over to Finn and grabbed his mouth moving Finn's lips, "Ok, I will. Awesome! Dude, you will never regret this. Hahaha!" Jake said before picking Finn up.

"Jake! We gotta find that Magic Man and turn Finn back to normal!" Roxy yelled

"Nah Roxy this will be much more fun!" Jake said

"Then I guess I'll be on my own," Roxy narrowed her eyes and brought out her hammer, "I'm going Magic Man hunting," Roxy said darkly.

"Oh okay. Have fun," Jake said before running off.

"Find him, Roxy! Find him!" Finn yelled as Jake carried him off.

 **~Montage Time~**

Roxy had her hammer slung over her shoulder as she knelt down. She brushed her hand against a footprint, she pulled her hand back showing purple dust.

"Magic Man….." Roxy said

Roxy saw various creatures warped and distorted. She saw a deer but it had a second head where it's butt was. A snake slithered by Roxy's foot and it opened its mouth making a ribbit noise.

"Magic Man…...I shall end you," Roxy said

Roxy walked by an orange tree. She stopped under the tree and plucked an orange from the tree. She peeled away at the orange and instead of finding fresh orange slices she found teeth. Roxy let out a shutter and dropped the orange.

Roxy held up a drawing of the Magic Man showing if off to some people. Most of them shook their heads no. One guy pointed at the picture screamed and ran away.

Montage Over

Roxy came upon a village, where all the buildings seemed to be built for smaller people. Roxy noticed that a majority of the buildings were burnt.

"A fire? Could this be the Magic Man's doing?" Roxy pondered

Roxy spotted a villager and stopped him bending down to his eye level.

"What happened here?" Roxy asked

"It was those freaks!" The Villager yelled

"Freaks?" Roxy asked

More villagers started to gather around Roxy murmuring and yelling about freaks under the bridge.

"Okay okay calm down. Have any of you seen a weird man with green skin wearing a yellow suit?" Roxy asked bringing out her drawing.

The villagers looked amongst each other shrugging and shaking their heads.

Roxy sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Food...Food for a beggar….."

Roxy snapped her head to the left and saw the familiar brown fur coat with a yellow hat.

"You!" Roxy yelled pointing at the Magic Man.

"Me!" Magic Man exclaimed

"Change back my brother!" Roxy yelled

"Not until he learns his lesson," Magic Man said

"GAAAAHHHHH!" Roxy yelled lifting up her hammer, she threw it the Magic Man yelling, "Hammerang!"

The Magic Man just laughed as he jumped up avoiding the hammer. The hammer flew back around just like a boomerang hitting the Magic Man in the back. Roxy gave a triumphant smile as she caught her hammer.

"No I've got you," Roxy said

"Time to skedaddle," Magic Man said jumping up and running away.

"Get back here!" Roxy yelled chasing after the man.

Roxy kept running and the Magic Man soon disappeared from her view.

"I won't lose to you weirdo!" Roxy yelled in the air.

"You're the weirdo!" Magic Man voice drifted out.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Roxy yelled in anger her face turning red.

* * *

 **Back to Finn and Jake**

"Food. Food for a beggar. Y'all got any food?" Magic Man said walking around.

"We've got a little orange juice leftover from-Wait a second…" Gork said

"That's right. It is I, the magic Man!" Magic Man yelled revealed himself, "Come on, apple grease! What are you gonna do?"

"We're not afraid."

"Are you sure about that?" Magic Man asked

"You're darn right we are!" Finn yelled

Gork vomits lava but Magic Man blocks it.

"Give us our bodies back!" Finn yelled

"Why should I? You still act like a hero only so you can get what you want," Magic Man said

"Oh. You were trying to teach us to be kind without expecting anything return. I should've given you that sugar cube without even thinking about a reward," Finn said

"Wrong!" Magic Man said zapping Finn in the face.

"Ah, geez!" Finn yelled

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

Magic Man jumped back as something fell from the sky and smashed hard cracking the ground where the Magic Man once stood. Roxy stood up huffing angrily as she lifted up her hammer.

"I finally caught up to you," Roxy said

"Roxy!" Finn and Jake said

Roxy turned around and raised an eyebrow. Finn was still a foot but he seemed to be a part of a body made up of other people who had been turned into body parts like him, and Jake seems to have stretched himself into pants, "Finn? Jake? Annnnddd….other body part people? What is going here?"

"It's the Magic Man's fault!" Finn yelled

"Yes, it was I!" Magic Man said

"I will destroy you!" Roxy yelled

"Zap!" Magic Man said shooting a magic blast at Roxy.

Roxy rolls out the way.

"Pole extend!" Roxy yelled holding her hammer tightly.

The Pole of her hammer extends shooting the mallet part at the Magic Man.

"Nope!" Magic Man said dodging the attack, "Magic!" He yelled as he sent a magic blast at Roxy.

Roxy lets out a yelp closing her eyes as she puts her arm up. The pain never came and she opens her eyes, "Whoa…."

A pink crystal shield was on her arm and blocked the magic blast.

"This is new," Roxy said, she smiled and held up her hammer and her new shield, "Now I can easily kick your butt. Return Finn and whoever those people are back to normal!"

"Not until they learn their lesson!" Magic Man said

"You've gifted us nothing but heartache, Magic Man! What is the life lesson in that?!" Finn said

Magic Man starts to laugh, "Yes, my children, you are so close to the answer."

"Answer this!" Finn said

The jumbled body Finn and the others created run and jump onto the Magic Man crushing him beneath Foot Fin.

"Get his eyes! Cut him in the eyes!"

"I agree with the arm woman!" Roxy yelled

"I wish I'd never been nice to you 'cause you're just a big jerk!" Finn yelled

"Oh, yes, that's it!" Magic Man slips from under Finn, "You've finally learned your lesson," He zaps Finn and everyone else turning them all back to normal, "And now I'm off spread my teachings to more sissy do-gooders," Magic Man opens a portal, "You're welcome!"

"Man, I frickin' hate that guy," Finn said

"Mee too," Roxy said, she rung the bell on her neck and the hammer and shield both disappeared.

"But at least now we can all go back to our regular lives," Finn said

"Well, actually, we like being like this," Gork said

"Yeah, we're strong together," Zap said

"Bye, Finn! Thank you!"

The group walks away waving goodbye to Finn.

"Oh, okay. Bye, guys. See you, later. Wait, so, what was the lesson we just learned?" Finn asked

"Maybe it was, don't give your sugar to jerks," Jake said

"Don't talk to weird weirdy jerks," Roxy said

"Speaking of jerks, what the blubbins, man?!" Finn sad turning to Jake, "Why wouldn't you help me turn back into a boy?!"

"Well, because I kind of always wanted….." Jake said

"What?" Finn said

"I said, I kind of always wanted to be a foot myself," Jake said embarrassed.

"What! Jake, you can be a foot anytime," Roxy said

"I saw you change into a foot twice yesterday," Finn said

"It's complicated, man. You'll understand when you're older," Jake said

"This has been a stressful day," Roxy said

"Ya know Roxy, I've never seen you that angry before," Jake said

"I know. You were even madder than me, and I was the one who was turned into a foot," Finn said

"I really don't know. For some reason, that man made me really angry. Just his presence gives me this rotten feeling," Roxy said, "But at least I got a cool shield out of it."


	20. Donny

**Donny**

Roxy made her way downstairs heading into the living room.

"Hey Roxy, you ready for some safety patrolling?" Finn asked enthusiastically.

"You know it," Roxy said, she looked around not spotting Jake, "Where's Jake?"

"I think he's still upstairs," Finn said, he walked over to the ladder leading upstairs, "Hey Jake you ready bro!?" Finn shouted up.

"Yeah dude, I'm coming! I'll meet you and Roxy outside!" Jake shouted back.

"You heard him, let's go," Roxy said

* * *

A field of tall grass rustled as three figures moved about it.

"Safety! Patrol!" Finn shouted jumping out of the grass.

"Safety! Patrol!" Roxy shouted out jumping out of the grass next to Finn.

"Safety!" Jake jumped out of the bushes wearing an orange vest, a traffic cone as a hat, orange triangles on his feet, and he was holding a yield sign, "Patrol! Safety patrol! Safety-Oh…" Jake finally noticed the strange looks he was getting from Finn and Roxy, "Were we not wearing the uniforms?"

"C'mon. Let's keep lookin' for hazards," Finn said walking forward. The young boy only takes a few steps forward before he holds his arm up, "Look out!"

"What is it, dude?" Jake asked

"Shushers, man!" Finn said, he points down a hill, "Look there!"

"Just looks like an ordinary little town, man," Jake said

"Yeah…" Finn pulls out a pair of binoculars, "Suspiciously ordinary. Oh! Little house people!"

"Oh! Let me see!" Roxy said

Finn handed her the binoculars and she uses them zooming in on the town.

"Aww they're adorable," Roxy said

"Anything going on?" Finn asked

"Nope, everything seems normal-oh wait I got something!" Roxy said, she focused the binoculars seeing a giant green creature terrorizing the little house people, "There's some type of grassy giant picking on the house people."

Roxy hands the binoculars back to Finn and the boy looks down at the village looking for the giant.

"It's a Grass ogre," Finn said

The Grass ogre picks up a chicken and stuffs it into a mailbox laughing the whole time, "Hey, chicken, you're travelin' egg-spress!"

"It's an obnoxious grass ogre," Finn said

"Well then let's go teach him some manners," Roxy said

"Yeah!" Finn and Jake cheered

* * *

"You get my joke, right?! Hahaha!" The Grass Ogre said

A Barn House person walked up shaking his tiny fist, "Careful, you oaf! Those chickens are rentals!"

The Grass Ogre turns around and holds two chickens up under his arms and squeezes them shooting eggs out at the little barn man.

"We're havin' so much fun, huh?!" The Grass Ogre laughed

A Jailhouse housie ran up, "Drop that chicken!"

"Huh?" The Grass Ogre said stopping.

"You're under arrest!" The Jail House said making the Grass Ogre drop the chickens, "Good...Now get in your tiny cell…" He said holding the door to his house body open.

The Grass Ogre picks up the Jailhouse Person and lays him down on his back as the house person flails his limbs trying to escape.

"Hey, ogre! Stop hazing these cute little houses!" Finn yelled

"Ya jerkball!" Jake shouted

Roxy, Jake, and Finn ran up to the Grass Ogre.

"My name is Donny, idiot!" Donny yelled

"Sorry. I was just tryina' get your attention," Finn said

"What kinda houses are you supposed to be? A...stupid...uh...a dumb house?!" Donny said

"He's not very bright," Roxy whispered

"Haha! Hey, what's with your jowl?!" Donny said flicking Jake's jowl.

"Ow!" Jake said pulling his head back.

"Hahaha! I'm gonna mess with these housies some more," Donny said

"NEVER!" Finn yelled running to Donny. He jumps onto Donny's back holding tightly onto the Grass Ogre.

While that's happening Roxy is helping the little house people up and cleaning the eggs off the barn house.

"So you wanna wrestle, huh? 'Cause I know, like, this ninja move to get out of this lock instantly! Okay...Now, first I…" Donny tries to grab Finn but Finn just holds on tighter to Donny, "Hey! You're doin' it wrong!"

"Thank you, young lady," The Barn House said

"No problem. You're adorable," Roxy said

The Barn house blushes and shyly looks away from Roxy.

"You're doin' it wrong!" Finn said

"Whaddaya mean?" Donny asked

"First, you roll your right shoulder forward…" Finn said

"Like this?" Donny said doing what Finn told him.

"Yeah, but then I counter it by doin' this!" Finn said countering the move.

"Hey!" Donny exclaimed

Donny starts to pant heavily as his face turned red.

"Someone's getting frustrated," Roxy said coming up next to Jake.

"Um...You need to take a break?" Finn asked

"No...but if you need to, we can stop...Ya baby," Donny said as Finn let go of him.

"Whoa, I zoned out there for a bit. Did you win?" Jake asked

"I think so," Roxy said to Jake.

"Nah. Just takin' five. Donny's pretty good," Finn said

"Yeah, well, you're okay, too," Donny said

"Thanks, man," Finn said

"...For a complete idiot!" Donny said

"Aww…" Finn said

Roxy lets out a sigh as Donny laughs.

"Donald, quit all this jerky nonsense!" Jake stretches into a giant tree like entity, "Unless you wanna get gored by a forest prince!"

"I was just kiddin' around, but then you took it too far! You guys are the real jerks!" Donny yelled before running off.

"Seems like someone is going through Grass Ogre puberty," Roxy said

"Nah. He's just rough-and-tumble, like me, but deep down, he's probably really sensitive, like me," Finn said, he runs after Donny, "Hey, Donny!"

"What?" Donny said turning around

"I was thinkin' that since you're a pretty good wrestler, maybe you'd wanna hang out with a couple a' rascals like me, Roxy, and Jake!" Finn said

"What?" Jake and Roxy said

"Muuuh...I don't know. Messin' with these housies is pretty fun. You got somethin' better?" Donny asked

"You sure this is a good idea?" Jake asked Finn.

"Donny seems like…." Roxy looks over at Donny and sees him juggling screaming house people, "...he's a tough person to deal with."

Finn ignores Jake and Roxy and turns back to Donny.

"If you come to the Tree Fort, we got video games and apple juice!" Finn said to Donny.

"Really?!" Donny said eagerly, then he pulls back his enthusiasm pretending not to care, "I mean...if it keeps you from cryin'..."

Finn turns to Jake and Roxy, "Donny's problem is that he's treated like an outsider, like me."

"You are not an outsider. You wear cute little blue shorts!" Jake said

"With a cute little white hat," Roxy added in.

"I...am complicated," Finn said

"Your something all right," Roxy said with a smile.

* * *

Finally having got Donny to put down the housies the group brought him back to the Tree Fort.

"Uh...This fort isn't so great. Not as cool as the fort I'm gonna build," Donny said walking into the house. He sat down in a chair, "I call this chair!"

"Hey, Donny, you should play Bug Battle," Finn said

Roxy put BMO on the table in front of Donny.

Jake grabs the game and puts it in BMO, "And hey, can you put on some pants?!"

"I agree! I can see all your mess man!" Roxy exclaimed

"You put on some pants!" Donny retorted back.

"I'm wearing a skirt! It complements my girly yet heroic figure," Roxy said giving a twirl.

"And I have pants…" Jake grabs a translucent pair of pants, "spun from spider webs...by pixies."

Donny grunts as Finn hands him BMO's controller. The game turns on and Finn starts to explain the game to Donny.

"Okay. There's you, and here come the bugs," Finn

Donny does what Finn says and destroys multiple bugs in the game. Donny seemed to be enjoying the game because he was laughing as he destroyed more bugs. Suddenly, a spider drops from above onto Donny's character and kills it resulting in a game over.

"Huh?!" Donny yelled

"Oh, yeah. Those guys'll get ya," Finn said

"Urgh!" Donny yelled breaking the controller.

"Hey!" Roxy yelled

"This game cheats!" Donny yelled throwing the broken controller at BMO knocking the poor game console on the floor.

"Not cool, dude," Jake said

Roxy walked over to BMO and picked him up hugging him close to her.

"Don't worry BMO I'll protect you from the mean Grass Ogre," Roxy whispered

BMO snarled looking at Donny as he held onto Roxy.

Finn walks over to Donny holding a glass of juice, "Have more apple juice. It always makes me feel better when I-!" Donny slaps the glass out of Finn's hands splashing him in the face, "Aaah! Donny! Quit being a jerk!"

"What? What'd I do?" Donny said

"Finn, I don't think this is gonna work," Jake said

"I am incapable of all emotion...but you are making me chafed!" BMO said

"Everybody's gettin' mad at me for nothin'!" Donny exclaimed

"You have to think about how your actions make other people feel," Jake said

"Ohh. Hmm. I don't understand at all," Donny said

Roxy facepalms at Donny's words.

"Ooh! Teach him that little empathy song I taught you!" Jake said

"Okay, yeah! Empathy, empathy, put yourself in the place of me!" Finn sang, then he pointed at Donny. "Your turn!"

"Uh...Empathy, empathy, put yourself...Ohh! So it's like, when I squeeze eggs outta chickens, I should let them squeeze eggs outta me, too!" Donny said

Once again Roxy facepalms.

"...Um...kinda right," Finn said

Suddenly screams could be heard in the distance reverberating in the treehouse.

"Someone needs our help! Jake, Roxy, you stay here and try to fix him, while I deal with an unknown possibly deadly emergency!" Finn said before running out the house.

"Dude, trade me jobs," Jake said

"Well this is wonk," Roxy said

"Agreed," Jake said

"Hey what's this!" Donny said

Before Jake and Roxy could turn around the sound of shattering glass could be heard. Donny laughs and runs to another part of the house and something else could be heard breaking.

"Not the crystal skull!" Jake said, "He's breaking everything!"

"That's it! We're doing Donny's training spray bottle style!" Roxy said running into the kitchen.

As Jake was trying to hold back Donny from breaking other stuff, Roxy came running back in with a spray bottle. Donny was about to pick up something when Roxy ran in front of him spraying him in the face.

"No! Bad Donny!" Roxy said

"Ragghh!" Donny yelled pulling back, "What's your deal?!"

"What's my deal! What's your deal, you big jerk! Your breaking like all our stuff!" Roxy exclaimed, "How'd you feel if we went to your home and thrashed all your valuables!"

"I….wouldn't like it?" Donny said

Roxy froze for a second then leaned into Jake, "I think he's starting to get it."

"Yeah, I'm gonna teach him some more songs," Jake said

"Okay…..I'm still keeping the spray bottle out," Roxy said

* * *

Roxy was rather impressed with how quickly Donny picked up things with Jake teaching through songs, she only had to spray him in the face four times. Jake was even able to get the Grass Ogre to wear pants. Now Jake was teaching Donny how to play the cello as Jake was on his viola.

Donny was acting really calm and polite, it was actually a little weird, but it was better them him smashing everything in the treehouse.

Suddenly the door was kicked open and Finn ran in talking quickly, "Donny, you have to go right now, and stop the Why-wolves from-!"

Finn stops when he sees Donny.

"Ah! Master Finn has returned!" Donny said in a pleasantly calm tone.

"What's it goin'?!" Finn exclaimed

"Thanks to you, I shall never be jerky again!" Donny said

Oh, no...Oh, no. Oh, no, nonononononono! No! This is all wrong! We need jerk Donny to make the obnoxygen, and, and!" Finn rambled

"Finn calm down breathe," Roxy said grabbing Finn's shoulder.

"Perhaps he's are dehydrated! It's as Jake taught me: '8 ounces, 8 glasses, 8 days a week!' ~ I'll fetch you some tap water," Donny said

"Are you wearing jeans now?!" Finn yelled

"Surely! ~Gotta get pants! Go get your pants! Button, fly!~ I wrote that one myself. Perdoname," Donny said, he smiled before walking to the kitchen.

"Yeah, singing is like his thing now," Roxy said at a stunned Finn.

"But, but, but-!" Finn said

"Butt, butt, butt! Yeah, Donny! You're lookin' good in those jeans!" Jake called out.

"What did you two do?!" Finn asked

"What we were supposed to do?" Roxy said confused tilting her head.

"Miraculous, isn't it? With a few squirts from Roxy's spray bottle and with me teachin' him my musical rules, he's become perfect," Jake said

"No jerkiness left," Roxy said

"No! We messed up, you guys! The House People are doomed if Donny doesn't go back to being town jerk!" Finn exclaimed

"Wait what?! The little house people are in danger?!" Roxy said

The sound of throat clearing gets everyone's attention and they turn around to see Donny, "I have no intention of being a jerk again. Hmph."

"But the housies will be wiped out if you don't!" Finn yelled

"It sounds tragic, but I'm turning over a new leaf!" Donny said as he turned over the leaf on his head.

"Donny, you gotta go!" Finn said

"Finn, "no" means, "no." I'm sure you'll respect my wishes," Donny said crossing his arms.

Finn, Roxy, and Jake look at each other before looking at Donny.

* * *

"No! Stop! No!" Donny yelled

Roxy, Jake, and Finn were all pushing Donny forcing him back to the house people village. As they arrived they saw the poor house people running around screaming in terror as giant wolves chased after them.

"The poor adorable house people!" Roxy yelled

"The only way to stop them is if Donny goes back to being a jerk!" Finn said

"Donny be a jerk!" Roxy yelled

"No! I'll use my musical messages to stop them!" Finn, Jake, and Roxy all mouths agape not believing what Donny just said, "Let's see...I've got one on the ethics of laundry...Crosswalk-ery...Ooh! Here's a good one!"

"Arrgghhh!" Roxy yelled pulling at her hair.

"Man! The town is getting creamed! By not being a jerk, you're being a real jerk, Donny!" Finn yelled

Donny ignores Finn and starts to sing, "~Comb your hair right! It's a good time! Sticky, sticky pomades, short back and sides!~ Why isn't anybody paying attention to my words?"

"He sure is sensitive about his songs!" Finn said. Finn gasps then gets an idea, "It's cuz they think your songs are dumb!" Finn yelled at Donny.

"Wha?!" Donny said

"What're you saying?! If you don't encourage his talent, he might revert back to jerk-!"

Roxy covers Jake's mouth shushing him. She looks between Donny and Finn and realization fills Jake's face as Roxy removed her hand.

"OHHH, OHHH! HEY, DONNY! EVERYONE SAYS YOUR SONGS ARE SUPER BALLS!" Jake yelled

"They all think you're a real jerk!" Roxy yelled

"But...but I've changed! Why would they say that?! ~Empathy, empathy, put your mind insi…" Donny trails off in his song as the why-wolves start pointing and laughing at the Grass Ogre.

"You're so pathetic! So comical!" A Why-Wolf laughed

Donny's face starts to turn red and his face turns from disheartened to angry, "Rrrrr...Think I'm a jerk, do they? I'm feelin'..obnoxious!" Donny yelled as he flexes effectively ripping off his pants.

"He could still be a jerk and keep his pants on," Roxy said

"HEY, YOU WHY-WOLVES ARE COOL! JUST KIDDING!" Donny said punching a Why-wolf in the face, "HAHAHAHA!" Donny laughed as a large cloud of obnoxygen gas was released from him.

"Obnoxygen cloud! EGRESS!" A Why-Wolf yelled before fleeing.

The other Why-Wolve's start to run escaping the toxic gas.

"The town is saved!" The house people cheer. They start to gather around Donny cheering and celebrating.

"Get offa' me, nerds!" Donny yelled

"You did it, Donny! You're a full-blown jerk again!" Finn said

"What?! You're the jerk! Housies! Ready to hear my new song?! It's about how Finn will betray you, just to save lives!" Donny said

"I'm sorry, Donny," Finn said gravely.

"You did what was right Finn," Roxy said patting the younger boys back.

"I'll never forgive you, Finn!" Donny yelled picking up two chickens under his arms, he squeezes the chickens and starts pelting the house people with eggs, "WAAAAAAH!"

"C'mon. We can go stare wistfully at the lake," Jake said

"I'd...I'd like that. Very much," Finn said

"Reflection time is always good," Roxy said

Donny continues pelting the housies with eggs, laughing, "Hey! I love bein' a jerk! Thanks, Finn! Finn?" Donny looks to see Finn gone, "Finn, you loser! I'll never...forget you!"


	21. Henchmen

**Henchmen**

Finn and Roxy were laughing as they sat on top of a large animal skeleton. Jake was in a large hole filled with more smaller bones.

"Hahahaha! Here we go!" Finn said

Roxy sat right behind Finn as they sat on the bones. The two laughed as they slid down one of the bones landing in the hole with Jake and the force propels all three of them into the air. The three laughed together as they flew out of the hole.

A bush a few feet away rustles and a familiar pale face appears. The person gazes at the trio keeping his focus on a particular girl.

"Awesome!" Finn said as they landed on the ground. Roxy and Jake continue to laugh, and Jake had a large bone in his mouth. Suddenly the three hear loud sobbing making them instantly stop laughing.

"Someone needs our help!" Finn said

Finn immediately takes off running with Roxy. Jake spits out the bone and follows the two. As they arrive at the source of the crying they spot Marshall Lee with an Old man.

"What is it about "henchman for life" that you don't understand?" Marshall Lee said

"Oh, come on!" The Old Man lamented.

"Dude! It's Marshall Lee the Vampire King!" Finn said

Jake lets out a minute scream and cowers back in fear.

"Can't you find the compassion to release this poor old body?" Old Man asked

"'Henchman for life' means, 'henchman for life!'" Marshall Lee said

"You still petrified of vampires?" Finn asked Jake.

Jake's head has sunk into his body, "No...I'm not…"

"You acting like a turtle says otherwise," Roxy said

"Fall on the ground for me!" Marshall Lee said

"Yes, Master," The Old Man said, he fell forward right on his face.

"Now cry for me!" Marshall Lee said

"Okay. I don't want to cry, but I shall cry for you," The Old Man said, before he started weeping.

"Hey! Cut that out!" Finn said running out of the bushes. Roxy and Jake follow after Finn as the three step in front of the Old Man.

"Oh! If it isn't my favorite little goodie-two-shoes Roxy and Finn!" Marshall Lee said

"Stop making this poor old man cry!" Roxy said

"I can make him do whatever I want. Watch. Henchman, amuse me," Marshall Lee said

The old man stands up and then balances himself in a handstand on his cane.

"Stop it!" Finn yelled

"Now hop around in a circle," Marshall Lee commanded.

The old man hops around on his cane but then the end of the cane snaps and he falls down.

"Oh, no. Don't worry, sir. I'll see to it you get set free," Finn said

"Oh, and how're ya gonna pull that off, hero?" Marshall Lee asked

"I'll do what I need to. I'll even take his place!" Finn said

"Dude, what?!" Jake yelled

"Hmmmm….my henchman might be old but he's strong. One young boy might not be enough for me. I guess I'll just have to keep my old henchman," Marshall Lee said turning around while crossing his arms.

"Then I'll do it too," Roxy said

"No don't!" Jake yelled

With his back turned Marshall Lee smiled. He changed his smile into a smirk and turned back around.

"Do you mean it?" Marshall Lee asked

Finn and Roxy look down at the Old Man who was groaning on the ground.

"Heck yeah!" Finn said

"Absolutely!" Roxy said

"Deal! Old henchman, you're free," Marshall Lee said

The Old Man Henchman stands up with a happy smile, "Whoo-hoo!" and then leaps off.

"What're two doing?" Jake asked

Marshall Lee came up behind Jake, "Hey, Jake...BLEH!" Marshall Lee yelled making a scary face.

"EEH!" Jake screamed and grabbed onto Finn.

"I couldn't watch that old man suffer, Jake. My code of honor wouldn't allow it," Finn said

"Ditto for me," Roxy said

"Hahaha! 'Oh, my code of honor wouldn't allow it.' Haha!" Marshall Lee laughed

"Rrrr...HEY!" Jake said

"Yes, Jake?" Marshall Lee asked as he morphed his face into a werewolf like creature, "What would you like to talk about?!"

"AAAH!" Jake yelled running away hiding behind Roxy and Finn, "I wanna help you outta this, guys but...he scares the filling out of my doughnut. Let's just leave."

"We can't Jake," Roxy said

"As heroes, were bound by our," Marshall Lee grabs Finn and Roxy flying off, "WOOOOORD!"

"Finn! Roxy!" Jake yelled as Marshall Lee flew off with the two, "Don't worry, dudes! I'll figure something out!"

* * *

Marshall Lee flew in the air Roxy under his left arm and Finn under his right.

"You guys are lucky. Your first job as henchmen is to help me feed," Marshall Lee said

Finn gasps and looks at Roxy and starts to harshly whisper, "Feed?! What does he mean? L-Like, like, oats? Like, sentient beings, or oats?!"

"Finn! Whatever it is we can handle it," Roxy said

"Yeah," Finn said with a determined look.

Marshall Lee flies down and the three land in front of a small house. The sound of a piano playing and singing could be heard coming from inside the house.

"Sounds like dinner. Finn, open the door," Marshall Lee said

Finn approaches the door and reaches for the knob. He hesitates hovering his hand over the door.

"OPEN IT ALREADY!" Marshall Lee yelled

"No way, Marshall Lee! I'm not gonna open this door if innocent people will be hurt!" Finn yelled

"This wrong man!" Roxy yelled

"I'm getting hungry one of you open the door!" Marshall Lee said

"No!" Finn yelled

"Never!" Roxy yelled

"Aren't you two bound by your word. Don't you have to do what I say," Marshall Lee said

"He's….right Finn," Roxy said

Finn sighs and grievously opens the door. The breeze from the door opening blows out the candles in the house making it dark within the home filling it with a sinister vibe.

The man in the house stops playing his piano and gasps as he looks up at the intruders.

"Sorry about this," Finn said

"Haah!" Eberhardt screamed

"Hold him down!" Marshall Lee said

Finn lets out a groan as the three enter the house. Jake appears in the window of the house peeking through observing what was happening inside.

Finn and Roxy hold the man down each grabbing an arm, as Marshall Lee hovered over him.

"Are you enjoying this, you two?" Marshall Lee asked

"No!" Finn yelled

Roxy grunts frowning at Marshall Lee as the vampire king sent her a smirk.

"Rrr...Don't you worry, guys. I'll get you outta there. I've got a perfect plan!" Jake said outside the window. Marshall Lee laughs as he notices Jake through the window and hisses at him, turning into a lizard creature.

Jake screams and runs away from the house, "AAH! I'm not running away! This is just part of my plan!"

"Please, humans! Let me go!" Eberhardt said with a few tears.

"I'm sorry, sir," Finn said

"We have to do what he says," Roxy said

"I understand. I was married myself once," Eberhardt said looking at Roxy, then he looked at Finn, "You're a very good boy listening to your sister."

Roxy flushes looking at Marshall Lee whose smirk was even wider, "Married?! Wait, wait! I'm not married to-!"

"Ugh! Enough talking! Dinner is served!" Marshall Lee said

He dives his head forward fangs out.

"No!" Finn yelled pulling Eberhardt out of the way. Marshall Lee goes for another bite but this time Roxy pulls Eberhardt out of the way. This goes back and forth until Marshall Lee got frustrated.

"How dare you, henchmen?! I order you to let me feed!" Marshall Lee yelled

Marshall Lee blasts Finn's arms with a red beam, making them curl up and become immobile, then he grabs Roxy pushing her into the ground and sits on top of her back. Marshall Lee laughs and hisses diving his head down biting Eberhardt.

"NOOOOO!"

Roxy covers her eyes in fear afraid to look but when she doesn't hear screams of terror she peeks through her fingers to see Marshall Lee is only sucking the red out Eberhardt's bow tie.

"Mmm. That red bow tie was delicious!" Marshall Lee said wiping his mouth.

"Huh?" Finn said as his arms uncurled.

"What's wrong, Finn?" Marshall Lee asked

"I...I thought you were…." Finn said

"Oh, my! A white tie! Thank you so much! This is so beautiful!" Eberhardt said, he lets out a happy sigh then passes out.

"B-but…" Finn said

"What? You know I eat the color red sometimes," Marshall Lee said

"I didn't know that," a dumbfounded Roxy said still under Marshall Lee. Marshall Lee laughs as he lets Roxy up.

Marshall Lee flies out the house holding onto Roxy and Finn's hands.

"We've got plenty more evil to do!" Marshall Lee said with a laugh.

Roxy narrows her eyes looking up at Marshall Lee with a thoughtful look.

"Something about the way this guy is acting is…..familiar. It's like he's evil but not," Roxy thought.

Finn had a scrunched up look on his face as he thought about Marshall Lee's actions.

"Hey, Finn. You thinkin' about how that guy's bow tie sorta looked like a bra?" Marshall Lee asked

"Huh? No!" Finn yelled

This actually made Roxy laugh and Marshall Lee smiled down hearing the girl's giggles.

Marshall Lee descended down to the ground and lands in a graveyard.

"I know this place seems a little dead, but don't worry. It'll soon be undead," Marshall Lee said

Finn shutters holding onto Roxy's arm.

"Corpses buried in mud that's black, from death I command you to come back!" Marshall Lee chanted as bodies started to rise out of the ground.

Finn shakes and clings onto Roxy, who had a wide-eyed dazed look on her face.

 _ **Memory**_

A young Roxy was sitting by herself on a log swinging her legs back and forth. Roxy smiles when she feels a hand on her shoulder.

"You're finally here I was ge-ahhhhh!"

Little Roxy screamed and fell off the log once she spotted the hand on her shoulder was a skeleton hand.

"Hahaha!"

* * *

"Hahaha!"

Roxy was taken out of her flashback by Marshall Lee's laugh,

"Are you ready to lead an evil army of the undead?!" Marshall Lee asked

"Uhh, NEVER!" Finn yelled, then a skeleton grabbed his butt, "Okay! I'll do it!" Finn said eyes wide.

"How about you Roxy?" Marshall Lee asked

"I don't think-ahhhh!" Roxy screamed when a skeleton put a hand on her shoulder and she fell forward right into Marshall Lee's arms. Marshall Lee started to laugh loudly as Roxy's head landed on his chest. He wrapped his arms around he as she looked up at him and his laughs got softer.

In the background, Jake appeared out of a bush.

"Don't worry, dudes," Jake said pulling out a stake, "I'm comin' to help. YAAAAH!" Jake battle cries as he ran at Marshall Lee, stake above his head.

"Huh? What's that noise?" Marshall Lee questioned turning his head around. As he does so, Jake shrinks down and retreats.

"Sorry, guys," Jake said

* * *

Finn, Roxy, and Marshall Lee are now walking towards the Duke of Nuts' castle with the undead army following behind them.

"Excited to hear the wild screams of an entire castle?" Marshall Lee asked with a smile.

Finn let out a nervous chuckle, "Haha, aw, yeah, that sounds bombastic, dude! Hey, I'm gonna run up ahead and scout it out for you, bro!" Finn said before he runs ahead.

Marshall Lee laughs as he turns his attention to Roxy who was staring at him.

Marshall Lee smirks and raises an eyebrow, "You've been staring at me a lot tonight. Don't tell me you've fallen for me. I couldn't blame ya though," Marshall Lee said flipping his hair.

Roxy scoffs and crosses her arms looking away from Marshall Lee, "As if!"

Marshall Lee chuckled as he saw the pinkish tint on Roxy's cheeks.

As they arrived at the castle they could hear Finn yell "EVERYBODY! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

"Hahaha!" Marshall Lee flies into the castle holding up his ax base, "I wrote this next song about a fisherman."

"~You look so good sittin' in your boat. I wanna suck out your eyeballs and rip out your throat. I wanna suck out your eyeballs and rip out your throat.~"

Roxy raised and eyebrow as she listened to Marshall Lee sing.

"This guy….he just like to mess with people," Roxy thought

"Don't do this, Marshall Lee! I beg you!" Finn yelled

"Don't do what?" Marshall Lee asked landing on the ground.

The Duke of Nuts runs over holding his infant son and put an arm around Marshall Lee, "You're late, Marshall Lee! My son has been dying to hear your undead music!"

"Wha?!" Finn yelled

"Oh, I forgot! Marshall Lee is playing tonight!" Lisby said

The party officially got started as Marshall Lee played his bass filling the castle with music. Everyone danced and enjoyed the party.

"Okay...So, he makes things seem bad, a-and then...or-or his personality makes them seem bad, or...I'm over-reacting,' Finn said to himself.

"Hey!" Lisby said

"Huh?" Finn questioned

"Why are you thinking so hard?! Just party hard! Whoo!" Lisby said dancing.

"Alright! Whoo-hoo! Hahahaha!" Finn said joining in on the dancing.

Roxy smirks and crosses her arms leaning against a wall as she watches the party. She's got this guy all figured out, he was just a cold hard prankster. She notices Marshall Lee walk over to Finn and hand him a cute plant. Finn gets a worried look as Marshall Lee hands him his ax. Once Marshall sent Finn outside he made his way over to Roxy.

"Hey, sweets," Marshall Lee said sliding up next to Roxy.

Roxy smirks and looks up at Marshall Lee, "I'm onto you vamp dude."

Marshall Lee smirks, "Me? Now, what could you mean?" Marshall Lee said overdramatically placing a hand on his chest.

Roxy smiles and elbows him lightly in the stomach, "You just like messin' with us don't cha. Your nothing but a nice guy with

a wicked sense of humor."

"What are you-?", Marshall Lee laughs and puts his hands up, "Ahhh you got me."

The two laugh together. Marshall Lee calms down his laughing and grabs Roxy's hand making her abruptly stop laughing.

"Cool bracelet where'd you get it?" Marshall Lee asked gesturing to Roxy's leather bracelet.

"Oh...uh I found it. I uh can't remember my past," Marshall Lee gets a small frown on his face but Roxy doesn't see, "but someone obviously made this for me so they must know where I came from. I must have been meant something to them if they made me this."

"Yeah…." Marshall Lee said a small yet doleful smile.

A loud crash from outside catches their attention.

"Better go check on Finn," Marshall Lee said

The two run outside to see the cute plant from before was now a giant monstrous creature.

"You should've hacked it to pieces when it was still adorable…" Marshall Lee said shaking his head.

"I-I thought-!" Finn dives out of the way as the monster attacks. He jumps towards the dimple plant monster and cuts one of its limbs. The detached limb sprays juice into Finn's mouth causing dozens of dimples appear on his face as he spits the juice out.

"Sick!" Finn yelled

The monster then grabs Finn and eats him.

"Finn!" Roxy yelled summoning her hammer, "Attack!" she yelled jumping into the fray.

Marshall Lee chuckles, "Oh, boy…"

Roxy holds her hammer tightly and then starts to spin around like a top. She spins at the dimple plant and cuts off all of its limbs making it fall to the ground. The monster lets out a screech as Finn breaks free from the plant's stomach covered in juice and holding Marshall Lee's ax high in the air.

"Not bad...for henchmen," Marshall Lee said

* * *

The sun started to come up as the group made their way to a strawberry field.

"Hey. Can't the sun, like, destroy you?" Finn asked

Marshall Lee pulled out a maroon umbrella, "Yeah, it hurts, but I kinda like it. Reminds me of when I'd scrape my knees up as a kid, and my mom would patch me up...you know what I'm sayin'?"

"Uh...Jake told me I came out of a cabbage," Finn said

All three of them laugh.

"Hey, you guys, I need you to strangle some pixies," Marshall Lee said

"Yeah, sure. That sounds good," Finn said

"Fine with me," Roxy said with a knowing smirk.

"Whoa, why are you being so casual about that? Strangling pixies is some hardcore evil," Marshall Lee said looking at Finn.

"I'm not fallin' for your junk anymore, man! You just like sayin' poop that jacks with my brain!" Finn said

"Haha! He got you, dude!" Roxy laughed putting an arm over Finn's shoulder.

"Dang, man, I didn't think you'd ever catch on!" Marshall Lee laughed

"Hahah! I knew it! Hey...what about your old henchman? Who was that guy?" Finn asked

"Oh, just an old diving buddy," Marshall Lee said sucking the red out of strawberry.

As the three converse, Jake appears out of a strawberry bush dressed like a giant strawberry.

"So, you ready to go strangle some pixies?" Marshall Lee asked

"Yeah, man!" Finn said

"Can't wait," Roxy said putting her hands behind her head.

"Oh, no! My buddies are totally under his vampire spell!" Jake jumps out of the bush with garlic and stakes, "Die, unholy thing!" Jake yelled throwing garlic.

"Jake?" Finn and Roxy said

Marshall Lee turns around as the garlic pelts him surprising him and making him drop his umbrella. He lets out a hiss as the sun's rays hit him and he starts to burn up.

"Marshall!" Roxy said kneeling next to him.

"I'm stakin' that vampire and settin' you two free, no matter how terrified I am!" Jake yelled

"He's alright, man!" Finn yelled

"Calm down man!" Roxy yelled putting herself over Marshall Lee.

"He's still controlling your mind with evil! Now, back off and let me vanquish him from existence!" Jake said

"I can't let you do that, Jake!" Finn yelled

"I love you, brother. YAAAH!" Jake yelled before jumping onto Finn.

"Marshall…." Roxy said leaning close to Marshall Lee.

"Jake, listen! Marshall Lee is not how he seems! He's a bomb-bastic dude who likes to play games!" Finn

"What are you even talkin' about, dude?!" Jake yelled throwing Finn off him and into a bush.

Roxy runs over and grabs Marshall Lee's umbrellas putting it over him and covering him.

Jake runs over with a stake held high.

"Wait, Jake!" Roxy yelled putting her hands up.

"Oh sweet sweet mind controlled Roxy," Jake said, he made his hand large and swatted her away.

"Marshall Lee!' Jake yelled as he staked the umbrella. He lifts

the umbrella to reveal smoke along with a yell, "Where is he?!"

"I-I'm free! Jake!" Finn said

"You faced your fear and saved us!" Roxy said

"I did?! I did! Yeah!" Jake cheered, he ran of chanting to himself, "I saved my sibs from a scum-sucking vampire!"

Finn picks up the umbrella holding it over himself and Roxy.

"Is it cool?" A voice whispered

"Yup!" Finn said

A bat flies out of Roxy's sweater, revealing its Marshall Lee.

"You guys, I owe you big-time! Changing into a bat and hiding in your sweater Roxy, was genius!" Marshall Lee said

"That's what henchmen are for," Finn said

"Ya know letting me get so close to you, I'd say you're falling for me," Marshall Lee said to Roxy.

Roxy smiles, "As if."

"Oh, uh, that reminds me. You two are fired from your henchmen-ships. It's no fun when I can't trick you guys," Marshall Lee said

"We're still on for pixie-strangling tomorrow, though, right?" Finn asked

Marshall Lee takes his umbrella, "Definitely."

Marshall Lee flies off as Roxy and Finn smile waving goodbye.

"Hey wanna help me pick strawberries for some pies?" Roxy asked Finn.

"Sounds fun!" Finn said

* * *

"A pie for our hero," Roxy said putting a pie in front of Jake.

Jake smiles and picks up the pie shoving his face in it eating it happily.

"One for my little bro," Roxy said setting a second pie in front of Finn.

"Whooo pie!" Finn cheered fork in hand. He digs into his pie too.

Roxy smiles looking at her two brothers. Finn and her decided to tell Jake the truth about Marshall Lee after they ate.

A knock on the front door catches Roxy's attention and she walks over. She opens the door, "Hello…?" Roxy said confused seeing no one at the door. She looks around seeing no one. She closes the door and turns around. Before she could step away from the door another knock sounds and she quickly turns back around throwing the door open, but no one was there.

"What….huh?"

Roxy looks down to see a present. It was a small box with red wrapping paper and a white bow on top. She looks confused as she picks it up. There's a label on the package, she turns it over and reads it.

"To Roxy….don't open for 3 months and 6 days?" Roxy said

She shrugs her shoulders and goes inside.


	22. What Have You Done?

**What Have You Done?**

"Roxy quick I need more warmers over here!"

"Coming Princess Bubblegum!"

Roxy was running around with Princess Bubblegum holding medicine and buckets full of hot water. Candy people were laid out on cots groaning and in pain, various parts of their bodies frozen in cold ice.

"Check Chocoberries temperature," Princess Bubblegum said

Roxy went over to the chocolate coated strawberry and went to pull out the thermometer that had been resting in her mouth. Roxy pulled on the thermometer but it didn't budge. She looked down at Chocoberry to see that half her face was frozen over freezing the thermometer in her mouth.

"Uhhhh...Princess…." Roxy said

"Oh no, it's getting worse. Ice King! How could you do nothing!" Princess Bubblegum yelled flipping over a table.

"Princess Bubblegum calm down," Roxy said

Princess Bubblegum shoved something into Roxy's hands, "Quickly put this on!"

Roxy looked down to see what Princess Bubblegum had handed her, "What is th-gah!"

Roxy jumped when she looked back up at Princess Bubblegum. The pink princess was wearing a bird-like mask with goggles on.

"Hurry we have no time to lose!" Princess Bubblegum said

Roxy puts on the mask and goggles Princess Bubblegum handed her. Then Princess Bubblegum grabbed two gas tanks handing one to Roxy.

"Hurry!" Princess Bubblegum said before running out of the castle.

Roxy follows after Princess Bubblegum carrying the tank on her back.

Roxy and Princess Bubblegum were walking down the streets of the Candy Kingdom spraying a foggy fumigation mist. Roxy stops when she hears voices and looks down the street spotting Finn and Jake, with the Ice King tied up. She tugs on Princess Bubblegum's arm getting her attention. She points at Finn and Jake and the two girls walk towards them.

Finn and Jake reel back scared when they spot Roxy and Princess Bubblegum faces obscured by their masks.

"Ich bin hier, Finn," Princess Bubblegum said, her voice muffled by the mask.

Finn and Jake scream grabbing onto each other. Princess Bubblegum takes off her mask along with Roxy, and the two boys calm down seeing their familiar faces.

"It's me, the princess," Princess Bubblegum said

"And it's me your sister from another mister," Roxy said

"Did you bring him?" Princess Bubblegum asked

"Sure did," Finn answered

Jake shows the Ice King, who was bound and gagged.

"So, what did the Ice King do to-?"

Princess Bubblegum cuts Finn off putting a hand over his mouth, "Ah-bababap! No time! Now quickly, with me!"

Everyone follows the princess back to the castle. They walk around the side and go to a blank wall.

"Ttubllaw!" Princess Bubblegum spoke to the wall.

A face appears on the wall.

"What's the password?" Stonesy asked

Princess Bubblegum squeezes the faces cheeks making it laugh.

"Oh, you got me!" Stonesy said, he opens his mouth revealing it to be a door.

"Secret door!" Finn and Jake said

"This stairway leads to the dungeon where we'll toss that lousy Ice King!" Princess Bubblegum said

"What awful thing did he do to get tossed in there?" Finn asked

"Chhh, he didn't do anything. Not a thing," Princess Bubblegum said

"Wha?" Finn said confused

"It's a long story, Finn. You see, the Ice King-"

"Princess Bubblegum and her assistant, are needed at once in the Grand Hall," Manfred said

"No! I need more time!" Princess Bubblegum yelled flipping over another table.

"That's like the fifth table today," Roxy said, putting the table back in place.

"Gosh, I'm sorry," Manfred said

"Alright, alright, I have to go. You two just guard the Ice King until I return and be prepared to make him howl with pain," Princess Bubblegum said

"You got it, princess!" Finn said

Finn and Jake take the Ice King down to the dungeon while the girls return back to the Great Hall.

"Noodles! There's even more sick candy people here," Roxy said looking around.

In just the few minutes that Princess Bubblegum and Roxy were gone the number of sick candy people had nearly doubled.

Princess Bubblegum slammed her hands on a table, "The fumigation did nothing to stop the spreading of it."

"Princess, what should we do?" Roxy asked

"Right now we have to properly situate the new candy people then we can work with Finn and Jake to get the cure," Princess Bubblegum said

"Right on it!" Roxy said saluting Princess Bubblegum.

Roxy ran around disturbing hot water bottles to sick candy people and setting up more cots for them to lay down on.

Princess Bubblegum started to block off the windows and other entryways turning the room into a quarantined area.

"There, now no one who isn't sick doesn't get in. Almost the whole kingdom is sick, we need to prevent any more candy people from falling ill or worse spreading the illness to other kingdoms," Princess Bubblegum said

"Right," Roxy said, "I got all the sick candy people situated properly."

"Good. Now we can get to the cure," Princess Bubblegum said

? ﾟﾘﾷ? ﾟﾘﾷ? ﾟﾘﾷ? ﾟﾘﾷ? ﾟﾘﾷ? ﾟﾘﾷ? ﾟﾘﾷ? ﾟﾘﾷ?

"I think this will do the trick," Princess Bubblegum said pulling out a large gauntlet.

"I think that might be going a little overboard," Roxy said, "Ice King is pretty….wimpy. We could probably just tug on his beard and he'll cry."

"We need his wails of pain. Terrible, immense, wails of utter pain and torture," Princess Bubblegum said

"Something tells me you're enjoying this too much," Roxy said

"Let's go! We don't have a moment to lose," Princess Bubblegum said before walking over to the wall. She knocks on the wall and a secret door opens.

"Wow, this place has a lot of secret doors," Roxy said

Roxy and Princess Bubblegum entered the secret door and ran through the passageway. They reached the end and Princess Bubblegum pushes on the ceiling revealing yet another concealed door. The two girls climb out of the secret door coming from the floor of the dungeon.

"Sorry for the delay," Princess Bubblegum said

"Man, there are a lot of secret doors around here," Jake said

"That's what I said," Roxy said

Princess Bubblegum puts on her metal gauntlet, "And now, Ice King, prepare to howl with….pain?"

Roxy notices how quiet Princess Bubblegum got and looked around the room. She spotted Finn and Jake in the cell but they had no Ice King with them, and her she furrowed her brow confused and a little angry.

"Wow, their so proud we did the right thing, they almost look enraged," Finn said

"Where is the Ice King?" Princess Bubblegum snarled taking off her gauntlet.

Before Finn or Jake could answer they hear the distinct voice of the Ice King from outside shouting, "Finally! Freedom and friends FOREVER!"

"What have you done?!" Princess Bubblegum yelled, yet again flipping over a table.

"And that is table number six," Roxy said

"What have we done?" Finn asked

Princess Bubblegum opens the cell door and grabs Finn and Jake.

"I'll show you," Princess Bubblegum said

? ﾟﾌﾨ? ﾟﾌﾨ? ﾟﾌﾨ? ﾟﾌﾨ? ﾟﾌﾨ? ﾟﾌﾨ? ﾟﾌﾨ? ﾟﾌﾨ? ﾟﾌﾨ? ﾟﾌﾨ? ﾟﾌﾨ?

Princess Bubblegum carries Finn and Jake to the Grand Hall as Roxy follows. Once they arrive Princess Bubblegum pulls back the quarantine containment curtain.

"AHHH!" Finn screamed

"Heah, even old Starchie's sick," Starchie groaned out.

"A plague of Freezer Burn Flu," Princess Bubblegum said

"Ice King did this?" Finn asked

"Yeah, kind of," Roxy said

 _ **Flashback**_

"It happened 3 days ago."

Roxy was over at the Candy Kingdom hanging out with Princess Bubblegum and Lady Rainicorn, when the Candy Kingdom got an unexpected visitor.

"Princess, he's back," Roxy said looking out a window.

"Oh what now," Princess Bubblegum groaned out.

Ice King flew over the kingdom, "Hey, hey, Princess, check out my new trick!" He starts scratching his beard making flakes fall out.

Roxy stuck out her tongue with a grossed expression.

"It's snowing it's snowing for you!" Ice King said as he continued to drop the flakes over the Candy Kingdom.

Snow falls over the kingdom and the Candy People play in it.

"That's just extra nasty," Roxy said

"We don't think he was trying to spread disease, but soon the entire kingdom was infected by his beard flakes," Princess Bubblegum narrated, "Through my research, I quickly discovered that the only way to cure my people was to obtain the pained howls of the Ice King himself."

Princess Bubblegum and Roxy flew on Lady Rainicorn to the Ice Kingdom.

"But when I pleaded with him directly…"

"Please, I beseech your aid. In the name of common decency!" Princess Bubblegum said

"So let me get this straight...You're hitting on me," Ice King said

"No!" Princess Bubblegum shouted

"으으, 웃기시네! 너는 우리 공주님과 판결 상대도 안 될 그런 가치없는 놈이야!" Lady Rainicorn said

"I think I heard the word "Virile" in there. Oh, she is definitely hitting on me," Ice King said

"No, she's not!" Roxy said

"말도 안 돼!" Lady Rainicorn said

"Be gone, you biddies!" Ice King said

"He had his chance to help and he did nothing!" Princess Bubblegum narrated

"Oh, my gosh, she came to me this time," Ice King said

 _ **Flashback Over**_

"I had no choice but to try and take his wails by force," Princess Bubblegum said

"It was the only way," Roxy said

"By getting us to beat the tar out of him," Jake said

"The only way!" Roxy said

"I can't just beat up the Ice King for nothing. That's against my alignment," Finn said

"I know, I know. You're right," Princess Bubblegum said as she started to cry.

"But I'll get him to give up those howls. Voluntarily. I swear it," Finn said

Princess Bubblegum's eyes got big and full of tears, "Oh, thank you, Finn. I…" Her words become incoherent as she starts to sob.

"Shhhh…" Finn said putting a hand on her face.

? ﾟﾤﾒ? ﾟﾤﾒ? ﾟﾤﾒ? ﾟﾤﾒ? ﾟﾤﾒ? ﾟﾤﾒ? ﾟﾤﾒ? ﾟﾤﾒ

"Princess Bubblegum you have to remain calm. If you start freaking out then the candy people will too," Roxy said handing Princess Bubblegum a handkerchief.

"You're right," Princess Bubblegum said blowing her nose.

"I know Finn and Jake will be able to get the Ice King's wails. Even if Finn can't beat the old man up, knowing Jake he'll get fed up and do it himself," Roxy said

"We'll just have to wait for them. Right now we must tend to the sick candy people," Princess Bubblegum said

"Can do," Roxy said

While Roxy got to work Princess Bubblegum kept pacing back and forth the worry clear on her face.

Roxy went dipped a towel in hot water and wrung it out before putting it on a candy person's forehead. As she went to pull her hands away they wouldn't move. The ice from the candy person was creeping up onto her arms freezing her in place.

"Princess Bubblegum...a little help," Roxy said worriedly.

Princess Bubblegum looked over and gasped before running over to Roxy.

"Oh no!" Princess Bubblegum said, she grabbed onto Roxy's shoulders and started to tug on her.

"It's creeping…." Roxy said as the ice moved more up her arms.

The two girls started to pull more but Roxy's arms weren't budging.

Suddenly the bell around Roxy's neck started to glow a faint pink then her hands started to glow the same pink. The ice turned pink then shattered, startling Princess Bubblegum and Roxy as they fell back onto the floor.

"What….just happened?" Roxy said confused

Roxy and Princess Bubblegum looked at each other confused neither not sure what just happened.

"WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!"

A shattering wail broke the confused silence. All around the room, the ice on the candy people started to break and fall off.

"Starchie's feeling healthy again!" Starchie said standing up. He suddenly grew large muscles, "A bit too healthy if you ask me."

More candy people sat up happily, healed from their ailment.

"They're all getting better! Finn and Jake did it! Ich bin so glücklich, ich koennte, ich koennte…" Princess Bubblegum said, she grabbed a cot about to flip it over but then fainted onto it.

"Well, then…" Roxy said

 ********************Line Break Brought to you by the Ice King's Wails***********************

"Roxy, thank you for all your help. You were an excellent assistant for me in helping the sick candy people," Princess Bubblegum said

"No problem, princess," Roxy said

"In honor of your work, I'm naming you my official royal assistant," Princess Bubblegum said

"Ka-wow! Thanks, Princess Bubblegum!" Roxy said

* * *

"So how'd you make the Ice King wail. Did you punch him, Jake?" Roxy asked

"No Finn pretended to be his friend then die," Jake said

"Oh….interesting," Roxy said

 **END**


	23. Finn Meets His Hero

**Finn Meets His Hero**

"ATTACK!" Roxy yelled

Today our hero's were fighting a giant swamp creature who had stolen Mini Queen. The three jumped onto the Swamp Giant knocking it off a cliff as they continued to fall they still fought on.

"Last chance, Swamp Giant! Tell us where you hid the Mini Queen!" Finn demanded from the swamp creature.

"NEVER!" Swamp Giant yelled in defiance.

"Give us the Queen or I'll turn you into a swamp rug!" Roxy yelled punching the Swamp Giant in the face.

Suddenly a squeaking noise catches Finn's attention, he lifts up a piece of grass on the Swamp Giant's shoulder revealing the Mini Queen tied to a mushroom, "Hi, Mini Queen! Jake! Roxy! I've got 'er!"

"Grab onto my hand guys!" Jake said as he held his hands out. Roxy grabs Jake's left hand and Finn grabs his right.

"Whoooop!" Jake said inflating himself like a balloon.

The group floats in the air as the Swamp Giant continues to fall quickly plummeting down.

"Aaaah!"

The swamp giant hits the ground hard creating a crater. Finn, Roxy, and Jake land on the flattened giant and Jake deflates himself going back to normal.

"My inflatable angel," Finn said giving Jake a pat on the head.

"Heh heh heh. How's the Mini Queen?" Jake asked

"I dunno," Finn said looking at the Queen in his hand, "Can't understand a word she says."

The Mini Queen promptly writes a message on Finn's hand that.

"THANK YOU 4 SAVING ME, XOXO CALL ME," Roxy read, "Oooooo…," Roxy said elbowing Finn.

The Mini Queen shapes her antennas to look like a heart.

"Aww! My pleasure, ma'am! I just like beating up evil!" Finn said

Finn gives a handshake to one of her antennae and she squeaks happily.

"Okay...Didn't...catch any of that either," Finn said

The Mini Queen jumps on Jake's nose and using it like a spring board she leaps away.

"Mini Queen must've stepped in somethin' funky. No...It's not tiny feet I'm smelling!" Jake sniffs around then presses his face to the ground, "This way!"

Finn and Roxy follow Jake as he sniffs the ground. Jake continues to sniff and his head hits a large sword stuck in the ground, "Whoa!"

"What?" Finn and Roxy said

"Do you know whose sword this is?! This is the sword of Billy!" Jake said

"Billy?!" Finn exclaimed

"BIIILLYYYYYY!" Finn and Jake yelled

Roxy raised an eyebrow confused, she had no idea who Billy was.

"Uhm...whose Billy?" Roxy questioned

Finn gasps putting his hands on his face. "How do you not know who Billy is!?" Finn exclaimed.

"Dude remember she fell from a whole in the sky," Jake said

"Oh yeah right," Finn said, "Billy is the most mathematical thing ever!"

"Yeah! Hahaha! He fought a bear!" Jake said

Roxy gets a thoughtful look then she snaps her fingers, "I remember he's that guy in one of those story books you have me read before bedtime."

 _Flashback_

Roxy tucked Finn in his bed, then she tucks Jake into his bed. She smiles as she sits on the edge of Finn's bed pulling out a large book that read 'Adventures, Tales, and Even More Adventures'. She opens the book as she reads the stories to her brothers.

 _Present_

"This is so cool!" Finn said looking at Billy's sword.

He grabs the sword and starts to pull on it. As he attempted to pull the sword out the ground it was in starts to crack. The cracks grow and stretches to the side of the mountain creating a large hole in it.

"Whoa!"

"It's Billy's legendary crack!" Finn and Jake said

The boys get happy looks and they excitedly run in. Roxy smiles seeing her brothers happy and calmly walks in following the two.

Roxy stops walking standing behind a frozen Finn and Jake. Before them was a large guy with blue skin and a long white beard.

"*Sigh* Hello."

"It's him! It's him!" Finn whispered eagerly.

"I know, I know! Be cool!" Jake whispered back.

"Yep. It's me," Billy said

"Sup, dude," Roxy said

"Sup," Billy said

"Man! I'm such a huge nerd for you! Please take us on as hero apprentices!" Finn said bowing before Billy.

"What for?" Billy asked

"So that we could learn to kick evil's butt...just like you!" Finn said

"I wanna be the dog version of you!" Jake said

"I'm just following the two, but learning some kick butt moves would be awesome," Roxy said

"Ahh, that'd be a waste of time," Billy said

"Heh. Yeah. I-I'm a little paunchy...but I could do some sit-ups!" Jake said

"I don't think that's what he meant, is it?" Roxy said directing her gaze to Billy.

"She's right, I was talking about beating up monsters. It's as pointless as a dog chasing his own tail," Billy said

"Heh. See, that's where you're wrong...'cuz watch!" Jake said as he started to chase his tail, "Ah...ah…" He continues to go in circles not catching his tail.

"It may seem pointless but he's having plenty of fun," Roxy said

"What do you mean, "pointless?" We just saved the Mini Queen from a monster!" Finn said

"You know where she is right now? She's probably being eaten by a different monster. She's probably dead," Billy said making Finn gasp.

"Dude!" Roxy said covering Finn's ears, "That is too much for my little bro's heroic ears."

"In my youth, I was much like you. Motivated. Headstrong. Wore a silly, little outfit. Had a female companion. Even had a magic dog," Billy said

He points over at a skeleton of a dog.

"Gah!" Roxy yelped

Jake gets a scared smile on his face, "Heh...I'm gonna pass out…" Jake sways before falling back.

"All my life, I've beaten on evil creatures," Billy let out a deep melancholy sigh, "But new evil keeps popping up. Kicking their butts was a hopeless effort!"

"*GASP* How could kicking butt be hopeless!" Roxy said

"What other way is there?" Jake asked

"Nonviolently. Help people by being active in your community," Billy said

"Could we do both?" Roxy asked

"Only nonviolence," Billy said

"Nuts," Roxy said, snapping her fingers.

"Nonviolently? I gotta try being nonviolent...the Billy way…" Finn said

"Me, too!" Jake said

"Guess that means I'm in too," Roxy said

"Billy, I won't let you down!" Finn said

"I love you, Billy! I got a secret crush on you, Billy!" Jake yelled

The two boys run out of the cave shouting. Roxy follows but stops at the mouth of the cave looking back. She looks at Billy seeing his saddened face. She frowns wondering why he looked so down, before she ran out of the cave.

Finn and Roxy were riding on Jake as he walked through the Grasslands.

"This is gonna be tough. I'll have to suppress my every warrior instinct," Finn said

"Yeah, this is gonna be tough, kicking butt and daring heroism is what I'm all about," Roxy said

"Relax. It'll be easy not to beat up on monsters and still help people," Jake said

"Help! Help! A monster!"

A man runs into Jake's leg and he falls over.

"Oh! Thank goodness! Heroes! I'm being chased by a horrible Dragon! Please, please help!" The man yelled

"Oh, uh…" Finn said

"Oh…" Jake said

Roxy just looks anywhere but the man.

"Act quickly! He's almost upon us!" The man yelled

"Sorry. We don't beat stuff up anymore," Jake said

"No, but please!" The man said before he started stammering incoherent words.

"We gotta do something to help him," Finn said to Jake and Roxy.

"I could teach 'im how to not be such a spaz," Jake said

"Hey, Mister. Besides being chased by a monster, what else is wrong?" Finn asked

"Well...I've been running all day. I guess I'm pretty hungry," The man said

"Say no more. Come on, you guys," Jake said walking away and dragging Finn and Roxy with him.

"Where're you going?!" The man yelled

"To make you somethin' to eat!" Jake called back.

As the three leave the scene the dragon appears.

"AAAH! NO! HELP!"

Jake, Roxy, and Finn were at a stand with pots of stew.

"I still feel weird about not fighting off that dragon," Finn said

"Me too. I feel like I'm suppressing a part of me," Roxy said

"Trust me. This is a way better way to help 'im," Jake said, "Gruel! Get your free gruel!"

"What's this all about?" A Lady asked walking up.

"Free gruel, ma'am. I can't beat monster butts, but I can beat your hungry guts. That's for sure!" Finn said handing the lady a bowl.

"Hahaha!" The woman takes a bite, "I didn't throw up! This gruel is very adequate."

"YEAH!" Finn said happily.

More townspeople come getting gruel too.

"This is great, you guys!" Finn said

"Yeah, we're really helpin' people!" Jake said

"Guess being involved in your community can be just as heroic as kicking butt," Roxy said

"Whoa! Look who it is!" Finn said

The man from before walks up his body covered in soot and scorch marks.

"Dude! You're alive!" Jake said

"No thanks to you three!" The man yelled angrily, "That dragon chased me for two days!...And then I was lost for.. uh, three days...and then I...I fell under a spell of a beautiful enchantress for...a week? So that's two, plus three, plus a week—"

Jake shushes the man cutting him off, "Dude. Gruel," He said handing the man a bowl.

"Oh, thank you!" The man said before taking a bite, "Hahahaha! Hahaha," The man seemed to be enjoying his food until his hand started to turn to stone, "AAAH! WHAT'S HAPPENING?!"

"Huh?" Finn said holding up a glass potion bottle, "Oh, that's probably the stone skin potion I added to the recipe. It gives your body the power to grow armor."

"Wha? Ah...uh?!" The man yelled as his body was encased by stone.

"Finn!" Roxy yelled giving the boy a bop on the head with a wooden spoon.

"Dude...how much of that potion did you use?" Jake asked

Finn holds up five more empty potion bottles.

"Finn!" Roxy yelled giving him another bop on the head.

All of the townspeople scream as rock started to grow on all of them. A man ran yelled loud as his belly button started to shoot out flames.

"AAAAH! MY TUMMY IS BREATHING FIRE!"

"Geez...I thought people would like that," Finn said

"Why?! Why would anyone want that?!" A man yelled

"So you can defend against evil monsters!" Finn said

"You're supposed to beat up monsters so we don't have to defend ourselves!" The man yelled

"No, see? I'm helping you nonviolently!" Finn said

"Helping?! I can't even move my hands! I'm a cobbler! How'm I supposed to cobble with these useless chunk mitts?!" The cobbler man yelled

"Sooo...the village needs the help of a new cobbler, eh?" Finn said

"Hmmmmmm…" Finn and Jake thought out.

"WHAT?! NO—"

"Alright! We're cobblers!" Finn said

"No, you're not! You're just watching my shop while I go to the dermatologist! And don't try to cobble anything!" The cobbler said

"What does "cobble" mean, anyway?" Jake asked

"I think it has something to do with shoes…" Finn said

"Can we just go back to kicking butt?" Roxy asked

"No! We have to do this the Billy way," Jake said

"But the Billy way suuuuuucks," Roxy said, letting out a groan.

Jake shushes Roxy putting a hand over her mouth, "Never doubt the Billy way."

"Excuse me! Can you help me?" A woman said entering the shop. She held up a black pump, "I need a broken heel fixed. I'm going to a fancy funeral."

"Of course I'll help!" Finn said

Finn got to work quickly fixing the woman's shoe.

"There!" Finn said holding up the shoes, "Whah!" He said flipping over to the lady and holding up her shoe, with a "Pa-kow!" He slips the woman's shoe on her foot.

The woman smiles as she taps her foot on the ground satisfied with the repair. She's rather surprised when a blade suddenly comes out of the toe of her shoe.

"Now you can fight off evil if it shows up at the funeral!" Finn said

"Did you fix that shoe with a magic nail?" Jake asked

"Maybe…" Finn said

The shoe changes more creating axes and a lasso.

"Oh wow! I want a pair of those mamajamma's!" Roxy said happily.

"I cannot go to the funeral in these!" The lady said

"Hey, everyone! I'm back from the doctor!" The Cobbler said walking in, before he could make it three steps into the shop the lasso from the woman's shoe wraps around his head, "WHY?!" Then it drags him to the ground.

"...And I'm not supposed to bring a guest," The lady said.

"GET OUT!" The Cobbler yelled

"Apparently, I suck at being nonviolent," Finn said

"Then let's just ditch this idea. Helping the community is good but I'd rather kick butt!" Roxy said

"Shush Roxy! Remember the Billy way! Suckin' at somethin' is the first step towards bein' sorta good at somethin'. We're like little baby Billys right now, and we're "sucking" on our first bottle of nonviolent milk!" Jake said

"Totes. I'll stop "pooping" my diaper," Finn said

"Whoa, what?!" Jake said

Suddenly the man who had fire bursting out of his stomach ran by screaming.

"HELP! I NEED MEDICAL HELP!"

"Medical help? Hmmmmm…"

Roxy let out a sigh as she was now dressed in a pink nurse dress standing next to Finn and Jake who were dressed as doctors, with their patient….Lumpy Space Princess.

"Maybe I can kick butt in secret," Roxy whispered to herself.

"How can we help?" Finn asked

"I want surgery to make my body hot," Lumpy Space Princess said

"Yikes…" Finn said

"Yeah. I know I'm already pretty smokin'...but I bought this swimsuit," Lumpy Space Princess said holding up a red one piece, "so I need a swimsuit body."

"You up for some serious plastic surgery?" Jake asked Finn and Roxy.

Adventure Time

"That…..was surprisingly easy," Roxy said

"Yeah, I know right!" Jake said surprised.

Lumpy Space Princess comes out of the hospital with a new body, she even had legs.

"Aw, yeah! This body's hot! And powerful!" Lumpy Space Princess said, she flex her arms then knives form out of her fist and her legs transform into a cyborg wheel, "Huh?! Aw, what?!"

"Dude, did you use a magic nail again?" Jake asked

"I've got three left!" Finn said holding up the nails.

"Ohhhh…" Lumpy Space Princess groaned as one of her eyes turned into a robotic lens, "What did you do to me?"

"We transformed you into a cyborg fighter! That's hot, right?" Finn asked

"No one thinks this look is hot!" Lumpy Space Princess yelled

That's when the Cobbler walked onto the scene spotting Lumpy Space Princess.

"Oh, my laces! You're the most beautiful-!" The poor man was cut off when a laser from Lumpy Space Princess's robot eye shoots him.

"Huh?!" Lumpy Space Princess yelled as her robot wheel activates and runs over the Cobbler.

The townsman with the flame-shooting belly button runs by again screaming as Lumpy Space Princess screams no control over her body.

"..You guys...?" Finn said

"...Yeah...?" Jake and Roxy asked

"I think us being nonviolent...is hurting people. Man...Billy is gonna be so bummed out…" Finn said

"Not if we run away! We'll have to live in halfway homes and be cannibals! We'll survive!" Jake said

"I just wanna sit here and moan," Finn said sitting down.

"Then I'll moan with ya, buddy,' Jake said

"Thaaaanks, buuuddy…" Finn said moaning

"Yoooouuu'rrre weeeelcooome…" Jake moaned

Roxy lets out a sigh and rolls her eyes about to say something but she was cut off by a scream.

"AAAH! AAAH! HELP ME!"

The three look over to see an Old woman being held by the Swamp Giant from before.

"Hahaha! Relax! I'm just gonna grind you up!" Swamp Giant said

"AAAH! AAAH!"

"Aw, man, this grass-bag again? HEY, EVIL-DOER! Um...could you keep your evil-doing quiet? Finn is dealing with some heavy stuff over here," Jake said

"It's not evil! When they get this old, they wanna be ground up! Hahaha! Right, you old bat?!" Swamp Giant said

"Help!" The old woman yelled

"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

"What-?!"

*SMACK*

Everyone was surprised to see Roxy standing tall holding her hammer up high as she had just used the weapon to hit the Swamp Giant. The old lady giggled as she was kicked out of the Swamp Giant's hand and into the air.

"I am a warrior of peace and love! I am Roxy the guardian! I will no longer stand by and let people get hurt. Fudge the Billy way! I will help my community by defeating the evil within it! I shall do good with my heroic fury!" Roxy yelled

The Swamp Giant sits up but is quickly knocked back down by a fist to the face.

Finn yelled kicking the Swamp Giant knocking him out.

"Whooo!"

Finn and Jake held their arms out catching the old woman as she fell from the sky.

"POOP! I saved her with violence…" Finn said

"What's your huff, son?" The Old woman.

"The greatest hero in the world told me to help people without being violent...and I promised I would do that and not let him down...but I did let 'im down," Finn said

"Stuff and nonsense! You sure helped this old gal out! And you did it with violence! Like a true hero, you were born to punch evil creatures! Just like I was born to be an old lady! Don't deny your rowdy nature, paladins!" The old woman started dancing, "And don't take advice from old people!"

"She's right Finn! We are warriors! Heroic warriors! Let's not suppress it any longer," Roxy said

"Yeah...Yeah...! YEAH!" Finn said

"Wait, didn't she say not to take advice from old peo—"

"It's all so clear to me! Back to the cave of Billy!" Finn said

"It's us again," Finn said as he, Jake, and Roxy entered Billy's cave.

"And we've got exciting news!" Jake said

"Aw, I don't—I don't wanna buy anything," Billy said

"Billy, an old lady told me that I shouldn't listen to you because you're old. Also, that I should do what I was born to do…" Finn said

"Which is kickin' major buns!" Roxy said

"Don't you see how pointless it is? You know what's probably happening to that old lady right now? She's probably dead!" Billy said

"Wrong!" Roxy shouted pointing at Billy.

"She's right here," Jake said turning around revealing the old lady.

"Hello!" The old lady said making Billy gasp in surprise.

"We saved 'er, Billy," Finn said

"Using violence!" Roxy said

"We saved 'er, Billy. We saved 'er using violence. And that's not a bad thing, Billy! This old lady is alive because of these!" Finn said holding up his fist and leg.

"And this!" Roxy said showing her hammer.

"And look how happy she is, man! She's elated!" Finn said

"Hmm. Perhaps you're right," Billy said

Suddenly he started making pained groans grabbing at his stomach, "It's...it's as if your words are filling a void in my very being...You wanna watch?"

Billy lifts up his beard to show an empty void in his chest. Finn, Roxy, and Jake gasp as they watch the hole fill up turning his chest back to normal.

"Nothung!" Billy shouted standing up, he holds his hand out and his sword flew into his hand, "Finn, Roxy, Jake...truly, you are my heroes. Hahaha. Now you're freakin' me out."

"We're his heroes!" Jake said, "Ha! Haha! I love you, Billy!"

"Get outta here!" Billy said enthusiastically.

Finn and Jake run out laughing. Roxy looks at Billy. The two stare at each other then smile. Roxy waves and then runs after her brothers laughing.


	24. Gut Grinder

**Gut Grinder**

"Jake! Roxy! Jake!" Finn called out. The young hero walked out of a set of tall bushes and spotted Jake's viola sitting up against a rock. He picked it and started playing a horribly high-pitched tune.

"Aaaaah!"

Jake fell out of the bushes holding his ears rolling on the ground as he kicked his legs furiously.

"Bl-bl-bl-bl-bl!"

Jake sits up and kicks the viola out of Finn's hand and flies into another set of bushes.

"Ow!"

Roxy came out of the bushes rubbing her head holding Jake's viola.

"Uh! That sounded horrible, man!" Jake told Finn.

"I don't know how to play," Finn replied

"Exactly!" Jake said trying to take his viola back from Roxy but she just holds it over Jake's head out of his reach, "No way man. You hit me with it so I'm keeping it as punishment."

Suddenly in the distance screaming is heard catching the attention of the three.

"Huh? Let's go!" Finn said before running off.

"Oh, wait up ad Roxy give me back my viola I gotta tune that thing!" Jake called out making Roxy stop running and turn back around. She tosses Jake his viola before she continues to follow after Finn. Jake catches the instrument and instead of following Roxy and Finn he stands there starting to tune his viola.

Roxy and Finn follow the crying which leads them to Soft Village. As they enter the village they see several villagers standing around crying, on was even on the floor holding her eyes as she cried.

"Soft People! Why are you all in a tizzy?" Finn asked

"The Gut Grinder! He's back!" A Woman Soft Villager said

"The 'Gut Grinder?'" Roxy questioned

"Yes, the Gut Grinder is a gold-eating monster," An Old man Soft Villager said walking up, "In the past, the Soft People of this village enjoyed piling our gold in the center of town and dancing wildly around it. It was awesome haha! But then, the Gut Grinder came and stole our pile of gold. So we adapted and learned how to hide our gold using a big cup. And it worked! The Gut Grinder didn't come back! But recently, and admittedly it was probably a bad idea, we took our gold out from under the cup and we put it in the center of town. Haha, 'cause-'cause we really like dancing around it! But, boy oh boy, was that a mistake. You know what happened?"

"Uhhh...it came back and ate all your gold?" Finn guessed

The Old Man Soft Villager started to cry, "Yes, oh, yes!"

"Aw, don't cry, Soft Old Man. We'll find this monster and bring peace to this village, right Roxy?" Finn said

"Right! We swear it!" Roxy said

"Swear to what?" A Woman Soft Villager asked.

"We swear to justice!" Finn said

"Whoa! They swear to justice!" Two Soft Villager's said

"Roxy! Notepad!" Finn said

"On it!" Roxy said, she reached into Finn's bag and pulled out a pad of paper and pencil.

"Okay, so, what does he look like?" Finn asked, as Roxy stared intently holding the pencil over the woman,.

"Ohh, it's so scary we usually close our eyes and go wee-wee when he attacks," The Old man Soft Villager said

"Well this is useless," Roxy said tossing away her notepad and pencil.

"But!" The Old Man Soft Villager said, he started to walk and pointed out a large footprint, "He left this footprint…"

Suddenly there was loud stomping and a giant sized Jake appeared as he stepped into the village his foot landed right in the Gutt Grinder's showing the two to be a perfect match.

"Yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo!" Jake said smiling.

"Look! His paw matches the footprint!" The Woman Soft Villager said pointing at Jake's feet.

The Soft People started to murmur a lot, some of them even started to tremble with fear looking at Jake.

"I'm so scared, I'm gonna go wee-wee!" A Soft Villager said

"Whoa, no, no-no-no-no! Calm down, everybody. This is our friend, Jake the Dog," Finn said

"Yeah he's harmless," Roxy said

"Thank goodness," A Man Soft Villager said calming down.

"Yeah. I almost wee-wee'd!" The Soft Villager said

"Wait, you were gonna wee-wee if I was the Gut Grinder?" Jake asked

"Oh, yeah! We're terrified of him," A Soft Villager said

"Then I am the Gut Grinder!" Jake yelled making his voice low and guttural.

"I'm gonna wee-wee!" The Soft Villager yelled, he spins around in a circle as a liquid squirts out of his armpits.

"Haha! That guy wee-wees weird," Finn laughed out.

"I'm just kiddin', everybody. I'm not the Gut Grinder. I'm…" Jake shrinks back to normal size, "Jake the Dog! Woohoo!"

"Aw, he's just a cute little dog!" A Yellow Soft Villager said

"Hey, I'm not cute!" Jake said

"You're pretty cute," Roxy chuckled out.

A Soft Villager child ran up to Jake, "Doggy!" The kid laughed as he started to pet Jake, "Pet, pet, pet!"

"Huh? Oh, hehe."

Jake starts to enjoy the attention laying down as he drooled.

"Pfft," Finn laughed

"What?!" Jake said

"I didn't say anything," Finn said, "People of the village of Soft People, I, Finn, and my buddies Jake and Roxy, will find this monstrous monster and slay it!"

The Soft Villager's cheer hearing Finn's declaration.

"Come on, let's go, Jake," Finn said

Jake who was in the middle of getting a belly rub doesn't respond and continues to moan as his belly was rubbed. Finn simply grabs Jake pulling him away from the kid.

"What? No! Noooo…" Jake said disappointed he's losing his belly rub.

"Bye-bye, doggy!"

"Bye, Soft Village," Jake said

* * *

Finn, Roxy, and Jake followed the Gut Grinder's footprints hoping they'd lead them to the gold stealer. Jake nervously walked as his footsteps fit perfectly in the Gut Grinder's.

"Hey guys, my feet fit these prints pretty well. Hm, what if I really am the Gut Grinder?" Jake said letting out a nervous laugh.

"Jake, your paws will fit in anything," Roxy said

"Haha. That is true. Check this out," Jake shrinks down his feet and legs and starts to walk in Finn's footprints, "I'm Finn the Human and I stink at viola!"

"I'm Jake the Dog and I put my nose in poop," Finn said

"There's a lot of interesting smells in poop," Jake said

"I'm Roxy, and I'm grossed out," Roxy said

"Help! Ah!"

"Huh?" Finn said

"To the cries of help!" Roxy yelled pointing to the horizon.

* * *

Roxy, Finn, and Jake run into Cube Village.

"Hey Cube People, what's going on here?" Finn asked

"The Gut Grinder stormed into our village and ate all of our gold!" A Cube Villager said

"Wait, what happened?" Jake said appearing from behind a wall.

"Aaah! The Gut Grinder!"

"Whoa, no, no, no! He's not the Gut Grinder! He's my friend!" Finn said

"We saw the Gut Grinder and he looks exactly like him!" Another Cube Villager said

"That's ridiculous!" Roxy said

Jake lets out a nervous laugh, "Yeah, Th-that's ridiculous."

"Jake, back to your normal size," Finn said

"Oh yeah," Jake said shrinking down to normal size, "Ooh ooh ooh. I am not...the Gut Grinder. Ooh ooh-ooh ooh-ooh ooh," Jake sang as he danced.

"Aw, he's just a cute little dog," A Cube Villager said

"Hey! Y'all are the ones who are cute. I'm hot," Jake said

"Aw, look he's all mad!"

"Even cuter."

"Aaah!" Jake grunted out.

A Cube Villager ran over to Jake and hugged him as he started to rub Jake's belly, "So cute! Aw, so cute, so cute!"

"I'm not cute! I'm-mnh, ooh," Jake said closing his eyes enjoying the belly rub.

"We are also seeking the Gut Grinder. Me and my friends Jake and Roxy will find it and slay it! Tell us what he looked like," Finn said

"Exactly like him," A Cube Villager said pointing at Jake, "but bigger."

"Ruff, ruff, grrrr…" Jake said still getting his belly rubbed.

"Huh...Which way did he go?" Finn asked

All of the Cube Villager's point to their left.

"Jake! Hey, come on!" Roxy said

"Wha-? Where am I?" Jake asked coming to.

"Thanks, guys!" Finn said

"I'm not cute. I'll mess you up," Jake said

"Come on tough guy," Roxy said

* * *

Roxy and Finn rode on Jake's back as the large magical dog ran through a field.

"Guys...? What if I am the Gut Grinder?" Jake asked worriedly.

"What?!" Finn and Roxy said

"What if I'm, like, stealing gold in my sleep?" Jake questioned

"You can't be stealing gold in your sleep. I watch you while you sleep," Finn said

"Wha-? Yo, Finn, that is creepy, man," Jake said

"Agreed," Roxy said

"I can't help it. I take pictures. I've even do it to Roxy," Finn said

"Wha-!?" Roxy said with a look of confusion.

"Although some of the pictures of Roxy have mysteriously gone missing," Finn said

"WHAT!?" Roxy said loudly, "Why? In fact, how do you do it! I tuck you into bed most nights, when do you sleep?"

"Justice never sleeps," Finn said as his eyes go large.

"Well, there's gotta be a time when you're not watchin'...that-that I-that I might be stealin' gold unconsciously!" Jake said

"You...are...not...the...Gut...Grinder!" Finn said

Jake lets out a worried moan not believing Finn's words.

In the distance, an alarm sounded catching the group's attention. They looked over to see a distant village.

"City in danger! City in danger!"

"Let's go! Oh, wait-what if these guys think you're the Gut Grinder? Hmm…" Finn said

"We need a disguise," Roxy said

"Perfect!" Finn reached into his bag, "Ah-ha! Got the perfect thing for ya: Groucho glasses!" Finn pulled out a pair of glasses and put the glasses on Jake's back.

"I love it!" Jake said kissing it, he stretches his body so his face is in his chest and the Groucho glasses were now his head, as he made a horse-like shape, "Launch in 3, 2, 1!"

Jake jumps launching the three to the village. As they land in the village they find several Spiky people crying.

"Oh, man! These people are a mess!" Finn said

"Halt! Identify yourselves immediately!" A Spiky Guard said

"I am Finn the hero!" Finn said

"And I'm Roxy the heroine," Roxy said

"I'm Groucho!" Jake said

"We're on a mission to catch the Gut Grinder," Finn said

A Spiky man walked up, "I am the mayor of this village. Our gold has just been stolen by the very monster you speak of."

"I hereby vow to catch that thief and bring your gold back!" Finn said

"Our people thank you. I present to you this photo of the Gut Grinder to help in your mission," The Spiky Mayor said

"Oh, thanks," Finn said taking the photo.

"Oh that's not good," Roxy said looking at the photo.

"Wha-? Guys, it's me!" Jake whispered

Finn crumbles the paper, "Well, duh, it looks like you," He puts it in his pocket, "We already knew that. It's just one of those weird coincidences. Like how my belly button looks like your face."

"Yeah, I-I know you think it does, but this is different. I'm scared, Finn," Jake said

He started to shake nervously.

"Calm down Jake!" Roxy said patting him.

Jake continued to shake and ends up shaking the glasses off of him.

"Wha-? Oh, it's the Gut Grinder!" The Spiky Mayor said

The Spiky People start to gather around Jake, Roxy, and Finn looks of anger on their faces.

"No, no-no-no-no! He's not the Gut Grinder! I swear on my good name...and justice...and Jake's cute face!" Finn said

Jake girlishly bats his eyelids.

"His face is weird. The truth is obvious: your friend is the Gut Grinder!" The Spiky Mayor said as the Spiky people grabbed Jake and dragged him away.

Finn and Roxy yelled out, "Noooooo!", As Jake was taken from them. The Spiky people drag Jake away and throw him into a jail cell.

"You are under arrest for stealing our gold," The Spiky Mayor said pointing at Jake.

Finn and Roxy ran over to the jail cell. "We'll get you out of here...somehow," Finn said as he stared at Jake.

"No...I belong behind bars. Look at the evidence-I really am the Gut Grinder," Jake said sadly.

"Wrong! Your wrong Jake! There's no way!" Roxy exclaimed in a huff.

"Buddy, listen to me. You've been my best friend for as long as I can remember! That's enough evidence to prove to me that you're not a monster!" Finn said

"Then...why am I in jail? Only Gut Grinders go to jail," Jake said as an Old Man appeared behind him in the cell, "I'm in jail and I'm not the Gut Grinder. I'm here for the free grub. Hehehehehe!" The Old Man laughed allowing his gold tooth, and only tooth, to gleam.

"Huh? Wait, I got an idea!" Finn said and he reached through the bars of the cell and pulls out the old man's gold tooth. He runs into the middle of town followed by Roxy, as he waved the gold tooth around.

"Hey, Gut Grinder! I got some gold here that you missed. Come and get it!" Finn yelled as he waves the tooth around. Suddenly a manhole a few feet away rattles catching Finn's and Roxy's attention. The manhole cover lifts up revealing a rather cute dogs face.

"Huh. Whoa, you're the Gut Grinder?" Finn questioned looking down at the dogs face.

"It's cuter than I thought," Roxy said as she gazed at the dog.

The two were quickly surprised when the dogs face shot out several sharp spikes on its face and rose up out of the manhole. It turns out the dog's face was just a mace weapon held by the real Gut Grinder. The Gut Grinder completely crawls out of the manhole standing before the two heroes. The Gut Grinder lets out a feral growl as it spots the gold in Finn's hand.

It charges at Finn ready to steal the gold. Roxy rolls out of the Gut Grinder's path as it punched Finn knocking the boy to the ground. It quickly steps on him snatching the gold from the downed boy's hand.

Roxy summoned her hammer and shield, "You're not getting away!" Instead of throwing her hammer Roxy threw her shield at the Gut Grinder. The monster ducked down avoiding the attack. It smiled and laughed pointing at Roxy, but its laughter was quickly cut short when the shield bounced off a building and came back hitting the monster in the back of the head.

"Haha!" Roxy laughed out as the shield vanished. The Gut Grinder let out a growl as it rubbed the back of its head. Roxy smirked as she rung her bell necklace and a second shield appeared.

"I can keep this up all day! I have an infinite supply of weapons!" Roxy said as she was about to charge at the Gut Grinder but the monster was suddenly kicked away.

The gold tooth the Gut Grinder had been holding soared through the air as a giant Jake appeared, having been the one who had kicked the Gut Grinder.

Finn stood up and caught the falling gold tooth, "Woohoo! Yeah! We got him! Good job Jake!"

"Grrrr! I'm not Jake. I'm the Gut Grinder! Now give me that gold tooth!" Jake yelled

"What? Jake?" Finn said as Jake tried to take a bite at him, "Whoa!"

"Oh great he's made himself crazy in jail in a matter of seconds," Roxy muttered, she grabbed Finn's arm and the two started to run. As they turned a corner Finn's bag catches on a spike ripping it open spilling its contents everywhere.

Jake cornered Roxy and Finn, "Rawr! Now give me that tooth!" He shouted out crazily.

Finn held up the tooth, "If I give you this stupid tooth, will you stop being a crazy jerk?!" Finn doesn't get and answer as Jake snatches the tooth out of Finn's hand and tosses it into his mouth. He lets out a laugh then turns around stomping away.

"What the-? Jake! You never turn into a monster when I want you to. It's always, "Not now, Finn. I have a headache." Oh, Jake, you're viola is all I have now," Finn said as he picked up the fallen instrument.

"Viola….? Finn that's it! Play the viola! Let your sad tune reach Jake," Roxy said making Finn look at her.

"But I can't play," Finn said looking at Roxy making her smirk as she said "Exactly."

Finn started to play the viola making Jake yell and grab his ears. The giant dog runs over and smacks the viola out of Finn's hands.

"Ah, stay away from my viola! You stink hard at playing it. And dookie is radical, man! I don't care what anyone says," Jake said before he shook his head. He looked dazed as he grabbed his head, "Wha-huh? What? Where am I? Finn, Roxy, is that you?"

"Who else would it be, baby?" Finn chuckled out.

"Whoo!" Jake exclaimed happily as he shrunk back down to normal size, "I guess I went nuts."

"Nuts man, you went crazy. Like super crazy, for a second I thought I'd have to knock you out with my hammer," Roxy said

Jake smiles then lets out a loud burp coughing up the gold tooth he had swallowed. Finn smiles and pats Jake's back saying, "It's good to have you back."

"It's good to have you pat my back," Jake said

"How bout I give you a nice belly rub when we get home," Roxy said making Jake smile.

Finn continued to scratch Jake turning the dog into putty in his hands, "Man, if I had known you were so easily manipulated, I would have eaten more of your ice cream."

"Cut it out!" Jake stated as he pushed Finn away from him.

* * *

Everyone gathered around the knocked out Gut Grinder.

"Cut open the Gut Grinder's belly!" A Spiky person shouted out in the crowd. Before anyone could move the Gut Grinder's belly started to move and then it splits open the gold it had stolen spilling out of its stomach.

The Spiky Mayor walked up a look of confusion on his face, "What the-?", a Spiky Woman crawled out of the stomach of the Gut Grinder making the Spiky Mayor's eyes widen further, "What the-? Sharon, what are you doing in the Gut Grinder?"

The Spiky people started to murmur as one of the villagers pointed out that the woman, Sharon, was the mayor's wife.

The Spiky Mayor walked over grabbing the husk of the Gut Grinder, "And the Gut Grinder's skin is not skin at all-it's cloth! Sharon!" The Spiky Mayor exclaimed pointing at his wife, "Have you been sewing?!"

"Yes, Cameron. I've been stealing gold," Sharon said without an ounce of shame in her voice.

"WHY, SHARON?!" Spiky Mayor shouted

"Because I like to buy things, Cameron! I like to shop! And I dressed up like Jake because I think he's hot," Sharon said. Roxy snickers at that and elbows Jake making the yellow dog grunt.

"You have been a naughty girl, Sharon," The Spiky Mayor said, he turned to the guards, "Guards! Throw my wife in jail," As the guards grabbed his wife he turned to Finn, Roxy, and Jake, "Finn and Jake, thank you for saving my Spiky Village."

Finn gives a thumbs up as he said, "No problem, mayor."

"All in a day's work of radical heroes," Roxy said

The Spiky Mayor smiled and held his arms up, "Now give us a hug," He said as he walked towards Finn, Roxy, and Jake. The three start to back up holding their arms up in a defensive position.

"No, don't do that! Don't hug us!" Finn said as more Spiky people approached the group, arms up for a hug.

"Hold on guys we don't need hugs," Roxy sputtered out holding her arms up trying to block her body from the Spiky villagers.

The three were engulfed in a group hug by the Spiky people making them cry out and shout as they were poked and stabbed by the Spiky people's sharp bodies.

"Ow! Hey! Don't touch us! OWWWW!"

 **END**

 _ **Season 1 - Completed**_


	25. It Came From The Nightosphere

**It Came From The Nightosphere**

Roxy was with Finn at Marshall Lee's new house.

"Wow, you really spruced up the place. I really like it," Roxy said

"Thanks. I'm glad you like it," Marshall Lee said with his usual smirk.

Finn, Roxy, and Marshall Lee made their way to the living room where Marshall Lee was going to record his song. Marshall Lee had, of course, his bass axe and Finn had a small recorder in his hand. For some reason, Roxy was sitting at a drum set.

"Thanks for helping me record, you guys," Marshall Lee said as he tuned his guitar.

"No problem, Marshall Lee," Finn said

"Our pleasure," Roxy said, "But uhmmmmm…..are you sure I should be on this?" Roxy asked holding up a set of drumsticks.

"You'll be great," Marshall Lee said

"Yeeeaaaaahhhhhh….I've never touched these…..or at least I don't think I have," Roxy said

Marshall Lee slides up next to Roxy and puts an arm over her shoulder. "You'll do great," He repeated, "Now, I'm gonna sing something really personal, so don't laugh at me," Marshall Lee said

"I would never dream of it kind sir," Finn said

"Now, start a slow beat, and keep it steady, or it'll mess up everything," Marshall Lee said

"You got it!" Finn and Roxy said

Roxy looked down at the drum set then started to tap the bass drum pedal keeping a steady beat. Then as if her hands moved on their own her left hand started to tap the High Tom-Tom and her right hand tapped one of the cymbals keeping the beat. Roxy's eyes were wide as her hands moved on their own playing the drum set.

"Whoa….." Roxy said amazed looking at her hands.

Finn smiled then hit record on his player then started to beatbox keeping in time with Roxy. Marshall Lee started to strum his guitar creating the finishing musical sound for their song.

"Daddy, why did you eat my fries?

I bought them, and they were mine.

But you ate them, yeah, you ate my fries...

And I cried, but you didn't see me cry."

Finn and Roxy looked at each other their faces slowly dropping as they listened to the lyrics of Marshall Lee's song.

"Daddy, Do you even love me?

Well, I wish you'd show it,

'Cause I wouldn't know it.

What kind of dad eats his own son's fries,

And doesn't even look him in the eyes?

Daddy, there were tears there.

If you saw them would you even care?"

As the song went on Roxy and Finn had stopped playing staring sadly at Marshall Lee. Marshall Lee trailed off in his song a frown on his face.

"Huh? Guys, you missed the beat up!" Marshall Lee said

"Marshall Lee, if you're thinkin' about your dad so much, then...why don't you go see 'im?" Finn said

"He's not worth the effort," Marshall Lee said

"Not worth what effort?" Finn said

"Come on man. If I could meet my dad I would. It can't be that much an effort to get to him," Roxy said

"It's a little complicated first, I'd have to draw a circle with a happy face in the center," Marshall Lee said and Finn does just does that, "and then...uh...douse it with bug milk."

Roxy runs into Marshall Lee's kitchen and grabs the milk and throws it on the smiley face and the face quickly absorbs the milk. Marshall Lee was facing away not seeing their actions.

"*SIGH* And then you're supposed to chant something like. Maloso vobiscum et cum spiritum," Marshall Lee said

As he said that the smiley face started to glow and change colors.

"But...I-I don't really wanna see him. I'm still mad about the thing with the fries. Huh?!" Marshall Lee said as he turned around finally seeing what Finn and Roxy did.

The wall opens up like a door and reveals the world of the night-o-sphere. A tall man wearing a suit walks out of the flames.

"What the heck did you do?!" Marshall Lee yelled

"We...reunited you with your family?" Finn said

Marshall Lee's Dad spots Finn and walks over to him, "Is this kid your evil servant?"

"I'm not evil, Marshall Lee's dad. I'm super good!" Finn said

"Super good?"

Marshall Lee's Dad lets out a roar and opens his mouth starting to suck the energy out of Finn.

"What're you doing?!" Finn yelled

"Stealing your soul," Marshall Lee's Dad said

Finn started to scream as the demon continued to try and steal Finn's soul. Roxy runs over and grabs Finn pulling him away.

"Stop!" Roxy yelled

"Wha-?" Marshall Lee's Dad looks at Roxy with a confused face, "What are you doing here!" He yelled pointing at Roxy as his face contorted in anger.

Roxy looks left and right then behind her. She then looks back at Marshall Lee's Dad and points at herself, "Who me?"

"Yes, you!" Marshall Lee's Dad yelled

"Do I know you?" Roxy asked

"Know me?! You-!? Is this one of your jokes!" Marshall Lee's Dad yelled narrowing his eyes at Roxy.

"No?" Roxy said

Marshall Lee's Dad narrows his eyes further at Roxy before grabbing her head.

"Uh…?" Roxy said

Marshall Lee's Dad moved Roxy's head around as if he was examining her.

"Hmmmmm…." Marshall Lee's Dad said tapping Roxy's head.

"Dad!" Marshall Lee yelled pulling Roxy away, "Don't touch her!"

"Haha! Oh, Marshall Lee! You've always been like this. Whoa! Is this the family axe?" Marshall Lee's Dad said grabbing away Marshall Lee's instrument.

"Wha-? HEY!" Marshall Lee yelled as his bass was yanked out of his hand.

"Did you turn it into some kind of lute?" Marshall Lee's Dad asked examining the guitar.

"Give it back, and get out!" Marshall Lee yelled

"Okay, I'll go. I've got business to attend to, anyway. Sucking up all the souls in Oooooo…" Marshall Lee's Dad said

"WHA-Gh-NO!" Finn yelled

"Stop him!" Roxy yelled

"See you, kids, later!" Marshall Lee's Dad said leaving the house.

The Lord of Evil laughed maniacally as he flies away.

"My bass!" Marshall Lee yelled

"What are we gonna do!?" Roxy yelled panicking.

"We've unleashed evil onto Ooo ! We've gotta stop 'im, Marshall Lee!" Finn yelled

"Fine...but I'm only coming with you to get my bass back," Marshall Lee said

* * *

The group who was flying over Ooo, well Marshall Lee was flying while he held onto Finn and Roxy.

"Hey! How do I kill this guy, anyway?" Finn asked

"Finn! You can't kill my dad!" Marshall Lee said

"Oh! I'm sorry! I didn't mean-"

"No! You literally can't kill my dad! He's deathless!" Marshall Lee said

"That sounds super awesome," Roxy said sarcastically.

"There! Below us! A gathering of Fluffy People! May-haps they've seen your father! Marshall Lee...release the Finn-bomb!" Finn said, Marshall Lee drops Finn and Roxy whistles mimicing a bomb falling.

Marshall Lee catches Finn before he reaches the ground and Roxy makes an explosion noise. The three all walk over to the Fluffy people who looked quite scared.

"They're all freaked out!" Finn said

"It's because they're scared of him," Marshall Lee said pointing behind Finn. The three look over to see a Fluffy person he was floating and facing away from the group.

"He seems pretty nor-ooooooooooo snap!" Roxy said as the Fluffy person turned around. His eyes were blank and he was pale. He was moaning and shaking slightly as he floated around. Marshall Lee grabs him examining the Fluffy person, "Hm. My dad's been here. Come on. Let's go."

"No! We gotta help this guy. I've got some soul food that Jake packed for me," Finn said digging into his backpack. He pulls out some tupperware, "You like, uh, collard greens or country-fried steak?" Finn grabs the country fried steak and tries to feed it to the Fluffy person. The Fluffy person just continues to moan as Finn shoves the food in his face.

"I don't think that's gonna work," Roxy said

"Look. You wanna help him? Help me get my bass back," Marshall Lee said

"How will that help hi-?"

"MY DAD STOLE MY BASS GUITAR, FINN!" Marshall Lee yelled his face morphing from anger, "And when I get it back...I'm gonna break it over his neck and slam my dad back into the Nightosphere!"

"That is some serious family issues," Roxy thought

"Oh, clam! But first you gotta return the souls your dad sucked back to these sad, little husks. Right, Marshall Lee?" Finn asked

Marshall Lee let out a huff blowing a piece of hair out of his face, "Uh, sure, yeah, yeah, we'll do that."

"Don't worry Marshall Lee we'll get your bass back," Roxy said

"We're gonna need a plan," Finn said

"How does one go about stopping a demon overlord," Roxy said putting a thoughtful look on her face, "We don't even know where he's going."

"He'll probably be heading to the mountains," Marshall Lee said

Finn rubs his chin, "The mountains huh…..?" Finn snaps his fingers, "I've got an idea!"

* * *

"Red Rock Pass. If my dad wants to get to the mountains, he'll have to come through here," Marshall Lee said

"We can work together! And smash 'im with this rock! And once he's smooshed, all the souls will go back to their rightful bods," Finn said

Roxy looks down the canyon and spots something. She squints her eyes trying to get a closer look. She reaches into Finn's pack and pulls out a pair of binoculars. She focuses on the moving object and spots Marshall Lee's dad. He had a happy smile on his face as he squashed ants and sucked out their souls.

"Lord of Evil coming in," Roxy said

Finn gets behind the large rock and starts to push it. As he did so Marshall Lee flew past Roxy and Finn towards his father.

"Marshall Lee!" Roxy yelled out as Finn stopped pushing the rock.

Marshall Lee hisses and attacks his father but misses as the older demon simply ducks down out of the way.

"So, finally taking a run at your old man, huh?" Marshall Lee's Dad said

Marshall Lee gets up and charges again, but his father parries the attack with Marshall Lee's own bass axe and forces his son up against the rock wall.

"Dad…" Marshall Lee said in a frustrated tone trying to push back. He was able to break his father's grip and jumps onto his dad's shoulders.

Marshall Lee's Dad lets out a chuckle before attacking, "Karate kick!" He performed a straight front kick up, kicking Marshall Lee off his shoulders knocking the Vampire King onto the ground.

"Marshall Lee! Keep 'im right there!" Finn yelled starting to push the rock again.

"I'm coming Marshy!" Roxy yelled jumping down into the canyon.

Roxy lets out a war scream as she falls down heading straight for Marshall Lee's Dad.

Hearing her yells Marshall Lee's Dad looks up, "What?"

Roxy lands on top of Marshall Lee's Dad and the two tumble to the ground. Roxy rolls onto her feet as Marshall Lee's Dad does the same.

"Ugh! You again, seriously!" Marshall Lee's Dad yelled throwing his hands up.

"Leave Marshall Lee alone and give back his guitar!" Roxy said, she summoned her hammer and jumped at Marshall Lee's Dad. The demon grabbed the hammer stopping the attack but Roxy held steady. The two were locked in a standoff each pushing at each other.

"You don't know when quit do you!" Marshall Lee's Dad yelled

Marshall Lee sat up leaning on his elbows and looked at his father and Roxy. His eyes slightly wide as he stared at the two. Above the group, Finn was still trying to push the large rock over. Finn let out a war cry as he headbutted the rock over the cliff. As the rock fell Marshall Lee's Dad and Roxy didn't notice as the two were busy struggling and glaring.

As the rock got close Marshall Lee gasps and gets up, "Roxy!"

Marshall Lee cried out Roxy's name as he grabbed her in his arms moving her out of the way. The two tumble away as the rock landed. For a second it looked like Marshall Lee's Dad had been hit but the demon lord walked from around the other side of the rock unharmed. Finn looks over the side of the cliff seeing his plan hadn't worked and let out a groan as he grabbed his sore head.

Marshall Lee glared at his father and let go of Roxy staring at his father. He once again tried to go for his bass axe but his father hits him hard on the head.

"Karate chop!" Marshall Lee's Dad yelled as he hit Marshall Lee's head, "You can't destroy me!"

Marshall Lee let out a hiss grabbing his head then looked at his father, "No...D-dad...I-I don't wanna destroy you...Look, just...stay out of my life!"

Marshall Lee grabbed Roxy's and he flew back up the canyon.

"You're not even alive!" Marshall Lee's Dad yelled out as Marshall Lee flew away with Roxy.

Marshall Lee flew back up the cliff and landed next to Finn.

"You blew it, dude. We're supposed to be a team-a team whose sport is stop-your-dad-from-suckin'-souls...ball," Finn said

Marshall Lee let out a sigh, "I just want my dad to care about me."

Roxy looked at Marshall Lee sadly. She walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder making him look up at her.

"Marshall Lee...if your dad can't see what an awesome dude you are then that's his loss. If it means anything...I care about you," Roxy said

Marshall Lee looks a little stunned then a small smiles comes to his face.

"Thanks, Roxy," Marshall Lee said

The two sat in a comfortable silence until Marshall Lee's smile turned into a smirk.

"So you care about me huh? Guess that means you're falling for me," Marshall Lee said

Roxy rolls her eyes and pushes Marshall Lee over, "Way to ruin the moment." Although there was a small smirk on her face too.

* * *

Marshall Lee flew Finn and Roxy across Ooo looking for his father. After a while, it wasn't hard to spot the Demon. Marshall Lee's Dad was stomping across a field, he was as tall as a skyscraper as he walked around stealing more souls.

"Aw, man! He's growing huge!" Finn said, "I'm gonna take 'im down!"

"Finn, you're like an ant to him," Marshall Lee said

"Oh, yeah? Well, this ant's about to get in his pants!" Finn yelled

Marshall Lee and Roxy looked at Finn a little amused, "What?"

Finn realizing what he said starts to stammer embarrassed at his words, "You know! Because I'm going to make him uncomfortable while I release those souls!" Finn brings out his sword and charges at Marshall Lee's Dad, "RAAAAAAAAGH!" He starts to climb up Marshall Lee's Dad like he would a mountain shouting the whole time.

"Oh, Marshall Lee. Still following me?" Marshall Lee's Dad said not caring that Finn was on him.

"I'll stop following you if you give me back my guitar!" Marshall Lee yelled

"No, Marshall Lee," Marshall Lee's Dad said as flicked Finn off of him.

"NO ONE FLICKS ME IN THE BUTT WITHOUT MY CONSENT!" Finn yelled, he stabbed into Marshall Lee's Dad's head, but the Lord of Evil just smirks and his head splits open revealing a more monster like head, with tentacles around the neck area.

"Gnarly," Roxy said

Finn falls off of Marshall Lee's Dad but grabs onto one of his tentacles stopping his descent. Marshall Lee's Dad tried to shake Finn off but as he did so he revealed the souls attached to his chest, each soul sitting in a small pod like sack.

"The souls...Lumpy Space Princess! He got your soul, too?!" Finn yelled

"What? Nah. I totally saw Hot Dog Princess get sucked in here, and I wasn't invited?! I was all, "What the lump?" so I'm crashin' this party!" Lumpy Space Princess said

Roxy sighs and slaps her forehead hearing that.

"Well, I'll save you...I'LL SAVE ALL OF YOU!" Finn yelled

"Come on Marshall Lee, we gotta help Finn," Roxy said

Marshall Lee turned away from Roxy and sat on the ground crossing his arms, pouting like a little kid.

"If he's not gonna acknowledge me then I'm not gonna acknowledge him," Marshall Lee said

Roxy slaps her forehead a second time, "And they say girls are dramatic," Roxy mumbled. She summoned her hammer and shield, "Hold on I'm coming, Finn!"

Marshall Lee's Dad spotted Roxy running over and chuckled lifting his foot up, "I've always wanted to squash you!"

Roxy let out a yell and held up her shield as Marshall Lee's Dad brought his foot down. Roxy dropped her hammer holding the shield up with both hands, the shield sparkled and shined as Marshall Lee's Dad's foot landed on the girl. Marshall Lee's Dad laughed but it was cut off when he felt struggling under his foot.

"Oh come on!" Marshall Lee's Dad yelled

Roxy hadn't been squashed under the massive foot, much to her's and Marshall Lee's Dad's surprise. She was hunched over holding the shield up. The shield had gotten slightly bigger being at least six feet in diameter, effectivity protecting Roxy. Roxy let out another shriek as Marshall Lee's Dad pushed his foot further on top of the girl making her fall to her knees.

Hearing the girls outcry Marshall Lee's head whipped around quickly. Roxy's shield started to crack as Marshall Lee's Dad brought his foot down for a third time. Roxy closed her eyes scared bracing herself for the worst. Suddenly arms wrapped around Roxy's waist and the girl was lifted out of the way.

"Marshall Lee…." Roxy said seeing she was Marshall Lee's arms.

"You okay?" Marshall Lee asked, concern in his voice, Roxy nodded her head and looked away, her cheeks slightly flushed.

"RAGGGHHH!"

Marshall Lee and Roxy looked up to see Finn chopping off one of Marshall Lee's Dad's tentacles, making him and Marshall Lee's guitar fall to the ground. With Roxy still in his arms Marshall Lee flashed over and caught the guitar, Roxy winced as Finn landed next to them with a heavy thud. Marshall Lee set Roxy down and waved his axe in a taunting way towards his father.

"IN YOUR FACE, DAD!" Marshall Lee yelled

"Give back that axe, Marshall Lee! You don't respect it enough!" Marshall Lee's Dad yelled back.

"Well...you don't respect anything! Dad! DAD! I'm outta here!" Marshall Lee yelled as he grabbed Roxy's hand and started to walk away.

"BUT-!"

"Fine! Go! I'm too busy sucking to deal with you!" Marshall Lee's Dad said turning away.

"Wait! Marshall Lee we gotta do something," Roxy yelled digging her heels into the ground trying to pull Marshall Lee back.

Marshall Lee doesn't listen and continues to pull Roxy along with him. Roxy lets out a growl and pulls her hand out of Marshall Lee's, she runs towards Marshall Lee's Dad and points up at the demon.

"You stop right there!?" Roxy yelled

Marshall Lee's Dad turns his head looking back at Roxy.

"I don't have time for you pest!" Marshall Lee's Dad yelled

"You need to make time, especially for your son!" Roxy yelled

"And what's that supposed to mean!" Marshall Lee's Dad yelled as he turned around to fully face Roxy.

Finn frantically reaches into his pack searching for something to help, "Diversion...need...diversion."

"It's exactly how its sounds!" Roxy yelled

As the two started to argue back and forth Finn found the recorder from earlier and pulled it out. He holds up the recorder and presses play and music starts to play. Marshall Lee stops walking as Roxy and Marshall Lee's Dad stop arguing. Marshall Lee looks embarrassed as he looked away his eyes looking anywhere but his father.

"Oh, my Glob, you guys! Drama bomb!" LSP said

"Marshall Lee, do you really feel this way?" Marshall Lee's Dad asked in a soft tone.

"Dad, I…" Marshall Lee started but can't seem to form the words.

"Marshall Lee...of course, I love you," Marshall Lee's Dad said

"Dad…" Marshall Lee said looking down rubbing the back of his neck embarrassed.

Roxy looks between Marshall Lee and Marshall Lee's Dad with a smile watching the heartfelt moment.

"I'm sorry I ate your fries. I didn't mean to hurt you," Marshall Lee's Dad said

"It's okay, Dad. It's...it's really okay," Marshall Lee said

"No, it's not okay. They weren't even very good. They were really cold. I love you, Marshall Lee. Don't you ever doubt that," Marshall Lee's Dad said

"I love you, too, Dad," Marshall Lee said

"Oh, Marshall Lee, I am so-"

"YALALALALALALALALALALALALA!" Finn yelled cutting Marshall Lee's Dad off. He jumped into the air stabbing into Marshall Lee's Dad's chest where the souls were being kept. Marshall Lee's Dad let out a shriek of pain as Finn dug the sword deeper into Marshall Lee's Dad's chest, releasing all the souls.

"Wait, Finn!" Roxy yelled

Finn dropped from the ground and started the summoning process again.

"MALOSO VOBISCUM ET CUM SPIRITUM!" Finn yelled

Marshall Lee's Dad let out a last scream as he was sucked back into the Nightosphere.

"I'll see you in the Nightosphere, ya sick freak. YES!" Finn said

Roxy stared mouth agape.

"Finn! How could you do that?!" Marshall Lee said

"How could I...save the day?" Finn said confused. For a third time today Roxy slapped her forehead.

"How could you embarrass me like that and then stab my dad?!" Marshall Lee said

"How could I embarrass-save you?" Finn said

Marshall Lee goes to swing his axe at Finn but Roxy grabs his arms holding him back.

"Whoa! Calm down!" Roxy said

Marshall Lee lets out a huff but quickly calms down, "I'm glad he's back in the Nightosphere. That was emotionally exhausting."

"I'm also exhausted emotionally. Or...wait. I mean, I mean physically," Finn said

"Me too. Your dad was weird," Roxy said

"Agreed," Marshall Lee said

Roxy, Marshall Lee, and Finn lay back on the ground. As they look up at the sky they see the souls flying around a few of them bumping into each other.

"I've been meaning to ask you...What's with that pocket on your shirt?" Marshall Lee asked

"Oh, Jake's in here. 'Sup, Jake?" Finn said opening his shirt pocket.

Jake simply rolls over and farts.


	26. The Eyes

**The Eyes**

Roxy was hunched over a desk pen clenched in her hand writing quickly, her tongue was stuck out as she concentrated.

" _Journal Entry #1. Living in the land of Ooo has been a strange experience. I've made many new friends and even created my own little family. But the question I've been asking myself is who is my real family? Where did I come from? What's with the strange portal I fell out of? What's with the strange leather bracelet I found with my name on it? What's with my crazy necklace that lets me summon weapons? Princess Bubblegum is still working on her memory machine for me. It's gonna take her some time since she needs rare materials to build the machine to last, so who knows when it'll be done. Also, something else has been plaguing my mind. Marshall Lee's Dad. Now that I think back to my encounter with the Nightosphere King he acted like he's met me before. I questioned Marshall Lee about it but he just told me his dad's been alive for like forever so it's possible that he just got my face confused with someone else's. So it may be possible that he confused me with someone else, I mean he spends basically his whole life around fire maybe it's done something to his vision. Or maybe he knew me before I fell from the portal. I'm not sure of really anything at this point but I'm gonna find out. This journal shall be my catalog to finding out who the real Roxy is."_

Roxy set down her pen and closed her book.

"You ready for some night night?" Jake asked Roxy as he appeared behind the girl.

"Coming. Let me just put on my jammy jams," Roxy said

* * *

After slipping on her night clothes, which was a large black shirt that went down to her knees and a pair of pink fuzzy slippers, courtesy of Princess Bubblegum.

Roxy climbed up the ladder leading to the bedroom where Finn and Jake were preparing for bed as well.

"Man, why am I so sleepy?" Finn said yawning.

"Dude, we've been up for like seven days," Jake said

"For real-sies?" Finn asked

"Yeah dude," Roxy said

"Remember? First, we rescued the Slime Princess from the Ghost Ship Vortex. And then we slayed that fire dragon. And that took a couple of days," Jake said

"Then we went to LSP's quinceañera," Finn said

"Helped Peppermint Butler with his Goblin problem," Roxy said

"We rescued Wildberry Princess from the Ice King," Finn said

"Then, we captured that Bandito," Jake said

"And fed that duck," Roxy said

"We've had a busy week," Jake said

"I'm exhausted. But happy!" Finn said

"Good night, buddies," Jake said, as he blew out a candle.

"Good night!" Finn said, tucking himself into bed.

"Nighty night," Roxy said hopping into her hammock.

Roxy laid her head down on her various pillows of her hammock. She closed her eyes and rolled over in her hammock pulling her blanket up to her chin. She let out a content sigh as she tried to drift off to sleep.

Roxy tossed and turned several times but sleep wouldn't seem to claim her.

"Hey, you guys?" Finn asked

"Yeah?" Roxy and Jake asked

"Can you sleep?" Finn asked

"No," Jake said

"Nope," Roxy said

"I can't sleep either," Finn said

"Yeah, what's going on with that?" Jake said sitting up and getting out of his bed.

"I don't know. But, I've got the strangest feeling...that we're being watched," Finn said

"I got that feeling too," Roxy said sitting up in her hammock.

Finn, Jake, and Roxy all looked out of the window to see a large purple horse with large cold unmoving eyes staring directly at them. The dead stare the horse was giving creeped all of them out.

"Why is that horse staring at us?" Finn asked

The longer the three stared at the horse the deeper its stare got. They ducked down behind the window avoiding the horses gaze.

"That's super creepy," Finn said

"It's giving me the uber-creeps man," Roxy said

"Man, I just wanna go to sleep," Jake said

"Well, maybe he's gone," Finn said

He looks back outside to see the creepy strange horse hadn't moved an inch, but its head was facing a different direction. As if the horse had known the group was looking at it the horse whipped its head back around staring again. The three jump slightly and duck back behind the window.

"I don't even think it's blinking," Roxy said

"Not gonna be able to sleep with that horse watchin' me," Jake said

"Let's just close the shade," Finn said

Jake stretches his arm up and pulls down the blinds covering the view of the horse.

"Outta sight and outta mind," Roxy said

The three get back into their beds and lay down closing their eyes. All seemed to be fine until the moonlight shined through the window shades casting a shadow over the room in the shape the horse.

"Ahh! Why won't it stop?!" Finn yelled, running over to the window.

"All right. Let's just go...push it off that hill or something," Jake said

"Agreed," Roxy said

"Maybe we can just...politely ask it to leave," Finn said

"I say we just push it," Roxy said

* * *

The three venture outside walking over to the hill where the starring horse was.

Jake quickly runs upon the horse waving his arms, "Hey! Get out of here, horse! I want to go to sleep, and you're creeping me the math out!"

Finn holds Jake back, "Whoa, man! Let me try, diplomat style," Finn steps forward up to the horse, "Pardon me horse, I beseech thou to split from mine land, this night. But I welcome thee to come back for some luncheth, some other day. Okay?"

The horse's pupils dilate then contract making it even more creepy.

"Forget it, man. This horse is whack. It's got poo-brain," Jake said

Finn lets out a sigh, "Okay, you're right. We can try pushing it, now."

"Good, let's push it and get back to bed, Roxy's getting cranky!" Roxy said

Roxy and Finn get on one side of the horse while Jake's grabs its tail. Roxy and Finn push while Jake pulls. The three grunt and struggle trying to move the horse but it doesn't budge an inch.

"Move, horsey! Good Grod! Are you even pulling?!" Finn yelled

"I'm super-pulling!" Jake yelled

"I'm giving it all I've got, but he won't move!" Roxy said

"This horse has a ridiculous weight!" Finn said

They all stop looking tired and out of breath.

"Math this. What now," Finn asked

"I didn't wanna have to use my powers on you, horse, because I'm so sleepy. But you've pushed Jake too far!" Jake said, he grows large and grabs the horse. He stretches his arm dropping the horse off at a different hill, "RAAAAHH! AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!"

"You shouldn't creep us out from way over there!" Finn yelled

"Finally now we can go to bed," Roxy said

"Oh yeah, I'm so ready for bed," Finn said

"I wanna marry my bed," Jake said

"Me too!" Finn said

As the three turn around they hear the sound of rapid hoof steps. They quickly turn back around to see the horse back.

"No more...NO MORE!" Jake yelled before running.

"Where are you going?!" Finn said

"I have an idea!" Jake runs up to the horse and pulls out a scrap of fabric and covers the horse's eyes, "I did it! Ha-ha! He can't stare at us if he's blind!"

Finn and Roxy get creeped out looks and point behind Jake.

"Look, man," Finn said

The horse's eyes wiggle and stick out from under the blindfold staring at the three.

"Wh..why?! Stupid blindfold! What's your deal, screwy?! Why are you messin' with us, huh?!" Jake said

"AAAAHHHHHH! THAT'S IT!" Roxy yelled bringing out her hammer. She's about to swing her hammer aiming right for the horse but she's held back by Finn.

"Roxy hold on!" Finn yelled

"No! I need my sleep! I'm gonna knock this horse into a new dimension!" Roxy said

"That horse is whack with poo-brain," Finn said still holding back Roxy.

"Yeah, I know. I diagnosed this horse with whacked out poo-brain five minutes ago," Jake said

"Dude, poo-brain means we can lure it away from here using music. Everything brainless likes music," Finn said

"That's true! You're a genius!" Jake said, he stretched his arms out to the treehouse and pulled them back holding his viola.

"Calm down Roxy, you can't smash the horse," Finn said

Roxy lowers her hammer and huffs in anger, "Fine, but if the sun comes up and I've gotten no sleep then I smash the horse."

"All right horse, prepare to be lured!" Jake starts to play Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata while walking away, "Follow me, Horsey," Jake continues to walk but the horse does not follow.

"Jake? It's not luring!" Finn said

"Huh! Hmmm," Jake then plays a new tune, Symphony No. 5 in C minor, "So, Beethoven's not luring enough for you, is it? Well, how about some Mozart?!" Jake starts to play Mozart's Eine Kleine Nachtmusik. As he played snakes start to show up.

"Huh?!" Finn said

"Whoa!?" Roxy said

Finn and Roxy grab onto each other trying to dodge the slithering snakes.

"Stop! You're luring snakes! STOP!" Finn yelled

Jake then stops playing looking at Roxy and Finn, "Huh? Oh, nuts. Let me try and lure a mongoose!" Jake started playing "Ride of the Valkyries", but then Finn grabs Jake's viola and throws it.

"Stop man!" Finn said

"No! Ahh!" Jake lets out a defeated sigh, "Dude...let's kill the horse."

"What?!" Finn yelled

"I agree," Roxy said about to summon her hammer, but she's quickly stopped by Finn grabbing her hand.

"No!" Finn said stopping Roxy.

"I'm so tired, Finn!" Jake said

"No, we're not killing the horse," Finn said

"Then how about I maim it, just so it can't stare at us," Roxy said

"No!" Finn said

"Okay, we won't kill the horse...or maim it. We'll dress him up like a bunny! Ha-ha! And get a giant hawk-Caaaww!-to kill him!" Jake said

"Wah?!" Finn exclaimed

"Caaawww! Caaawwwwww!" Jake said making his hands into a bird.

"Seems like a good plan to me," Roxy said

"No, guys! That is wrong," Finn said

"Eh. Did I say that the hawk would kill him? I meant that the hawk would swoop down gently and take him away to an island of sunshine and love-stuff and, take care of him," Jake lied

"Whoa. That sounds awesome," Finn said

* * *

The three gather up a bunny costume and dress up the horse. They put bunny ears on it and a fluffy white cotton tail.

"What do you think?" Jake asked

"It looks like a bunny?" Finn said with uncertainty.

"As long as the hawk thinks it's a bunny were good," Roxy said

Jake lets out a series of whistles calling for a hawk.

"Hey Come and get it hawk, let's go!"

Finn, Roxy, and Jake run around calling and whistling trying to draw in a hawk.

"Hey Jake, I think I see a hawk or two," Finn said as some hawk's appeared in the distance, "Cause more commotion to help the hawks!"

"Ahhh! Blblblblblblblblblbl! Take the bunny!"

"Hey, there they are! They see our commotions!" Finn said

"Riiiiiighhhhhht here! Yeah!"

"Grab the nice giant juicy rabbit!" Roxy said

"Grab a good hold and fly away!" Jake said

Two hawks swoop down to the horse, and start to peck Finn and Jake on the head. Roxy puts up her shield blocking a hawk from pecking at her.

"The bunny! The bunny!" Finn yelled protecting his head.

The Hawks stop pecking and carry off the horse flying away.

"What a beautiful sight," Finn said

"We did it! Back to sleep!" Jake said

Finn, Roxy, and Jake happily ran back into the house quickly running upstairs getting into their beds.

"Good night, buddies," Jake said

"Good night," Finn and Roxy said.

Before any of them could close their eyes a crashing noise is heard as the roof gave way and the creepy horse fell into the room.

"Ahh! It's in our house now!" Finn screamed.

"That's obvious, Finn! You don't have to say that out loud!" Jake said

"Hey, this is all your fault, dude! If you weren't so darn handsome, animals wouldn't always be staring at you!" Finn said

"You're just mad at me for being...handsome? Well, you're the one who told me to lure snakes! Ahhh!" Jake said

"I told you to lure the horse! You lured the snakes! There's even one here in my underpants!" Finn said holding up his underpants with a large snake in it.

"Why didn't we kill it!" Roxy yelled

"You can't just go around killing innocent creatures, Roxy!" Finn said

"Ughh! Darn you Finn and your perfect righteous heroic morals," Roxy said

"Wait a minute, guys. This horse is tearing us apart," Finn said

"Aw, man..you're right! We have to get rid of this horse, for us!" Jake said

"We can't let this horse destroy our awesome bond," Roxy said

"I know, guys. I know," Finn said bringing Roxy and Jake into a hug.

"Hey look at this. We're together now," Roxy said

"This horse might be a blessing," Jake said

"What?! Dude, you've lost it!" Finn said

"Snap out of it man!" Roxy said slapping Jake.

"You...wait, wait," Jake said, he then started to cry, "The horse is tearing us apart again!"

"You're right! It's about time I show this horse who's the man," Finn said

"What are you going to do?" Jake asked

"Say that to me again," Finn said

Roxy and Jake look at each other confused before looking at Finn.

"What are you going to do?!" Jake said

"Do...Doo-doo. I'm going to kick that horse in the bottom!" Finn said walking behind the horse.

"Oh, my Grod!" Jake said

"Go Finn show that horse what happens when they deprive people of their precious sleep!" Roxy said

Finn kicks the horse right in the butt and as he did so the horse's mouth opened and out flew the Ice King.

"The Ice King?!" Everyone exclaimed

"I should go," Ice King said standing up and dusting himself off.

"What the juice man!" Roxy exclaimed throwing her arms up.

"You were spying on us?!" Finn yelled

"That's none of your business!" Ice King shouted back.

"He was trying to learn our bedtime secrets!" Jake said

"*GASP* Not my nightly girly routines that keep my skin baby soft!" Roxy said

The Ice King ignores Jake and Roxy walking over to the horse and pulling a cork out of it. The horse deflates revealing that it was an inflatable costume.

"Did you find out that I sleep in the nude?" Jake said, "It's none of your business how nude I sleep, Ice King! Nnnnone of your business!"

"Gentlemen, daughter I'll see you later," Ice King said

The Ice King leaves the room and heads toward the front door but Roxy talked him to the ground sitting on top of him. She grabbed the front of his robe and starts shaking him.

"Why man! Why! Why were you watching us! Look how irrational I'm being and look at how big the bags under my eyes are!" Roxy yelled, she pulled the Ice King close to her showing off her red eyes and large bags that were starting to form under them, "Tell us why you were spying!"

"Yeah! Tell us why you were spying!" Jake yelled coming up behind the two.

"Tell us!" Finn yelled

"NO!" Ice King yelled

He pushed Roxy off of him and shot ice blast at Finn and Jake. The boys jump out of the way dodging the attack.

"Oh if it's a fight he wants it's a right he's gonna get! Tired Roxy is crazy Roxy!" Roxy shouted summoning her hammer.

Ice King shot more ice and Roxy spun her hammer deflecting the ice. An ice blast knocks Finn and Jake back making them land in a pile snakes.

"Snakes!" Finn said pulling one off his head.

"Quick! Throw them to the Ice King!" Jake said

Finn and Jake started to toss the snakes at the Ice King but he was unfazed.

The Ice King started to glow blue then lift into the air.

"What's he doing?" Finn said

"He's using his ice powers," Jake said

The Ice King moves his hands and the kitchen fridge opens sending all the ice within it flying at the heroes. Roxy summoned her shield protecting herself but this left Finn and Jake open.

"Ow! Ouch! Ow! Hey! Hey!"

The boys let out a few shouts as they were pelted with ice cubes.

"Is that all the ice ya have?" Ice King questioned

"Yeeesss!" Finn said, jumping at the Ice King. He slapped the Ice King in the face knocking his crown off.

"Well, you should really have more," Ice King said, kicking Finn.

"We don't need anymore," Finn said, kicking the Ice King back.

"What if you had guests?" Ice King asked, grabbing Finn's foot.

"Guests bring their own ice!" Finn yelled, throwing his leg back tossing the Ice Kinng off him.

The Ice King tackles Finn and the two wrestle on the ground.

"Roxy we got help, Finn!" Jake said

Jake didn't get an answer so he turned around to see Roxy was standing up holding her hammer but she was asleep.

"Roxy wake up!" Jake yelled snapping his fingers in Roxy's face.

Roxy quickly woke up looking around startled," Wha-! Who! Huh! No, my sleep! Jake!" Roxy exclaimed

"If I can't sleep, nobody sleeps! Now let's help Finn!" Jake said

"He seems fine to me," Roxy said pointing

Jake looks over to see Finn kick the Ice King in the stomach sending him flying into a wall. Ice King hits the wall hard and slides down it, but before he could get up Roxy puts her hammer in his face in a threatening manner.

"Tell us why you're watching' us or-or-or Roxy will pound your face in!" Finn said

"Yeah and make it quick 'cause we're really sleepy," Jake said

"Ok, ok, I'll tell you! I was watching you...to learn how to be happy," Ice King said

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaa?" Roxy said dropping her hammer.

"What?"

"Huh?"

Finn and Jake looked just as confused as Roxy.

"It's true! I would like to be happy like you guys. But, I have no idea how," Ice King said

"So, you dressed up like a horse?" Jake asked

"Have pity on me. I've been so sad and miserable, I cry all the time. But, whenever I see you three, you always look so happy," Ice King said, "So yes, I've decided to spy on you, dressed as a horse. But, I guess my plan failed. All I observed was you three arguing over...how to get rid of me."

The Ice King turned to Finn, Jake, and Roxy as he ended his story. The three heroes found the Ice King's story to be the perfect bedtime story because they were now curled up on the ground asleep in a small pile.

"Hey, are you sleeping?" Ice King questioned, he looked at the three before giving out a small gasp, "Is this it? Sleeping? Could it be that all I need is a good night's rest?" The Ice King lays down with Finn, Jake, and Roxy before closing his eyes with a smile on his face.

"Ahh...I'm...still not happy," Ice King said

"Go to sleep papa," Roxy said in her sleep as she rolled over cuddling into the Ice King's side.

The Ice King gets a large grin on his face before pulling a blanket over him and Roxy, before he drifts off to sleep as well.


	27. Loyalty to the King

**Loyalty to the King**

Roxy whistled as she walked out of the tree fort. Her whistling was stopped short when she spotted something pinned to the door. It was a letter and it had Roxy's name on it. She pulled the letter off the door and opened it.

"Dear my lovely little diamond. Papa just got a new princess to make his bride. I'm so happy, and I can't wait til we get married and then you'll have a mother. Love your papa, Ice King," Roxy read

Roxy stuck her head into the tree fort, "Finn! Jake! Ice King kidnapped another princess."

There was some shuffling noise than the two boys appeared.

"What time is it?" Finn asked

"Princess Rescue Time!"

* * *

Finn, Jake, and Roxy made their way to the Ice Kingdom and they easily snuck in. In the middle of the room was Engagement Ring Princess who was locked in an ice prison. Laying not too far away was the Ice King sleeping.

"I'll stay here and be a distraction if the Ice King wakes up," Roxy said

Finn and Jake nod their heads before they ran over to the prison.

"Save me, Finn and Jake!" Engagement Ring Princess said rather loudly.

"Shoosh," Jake said

Finn picks the lock opens the prison and Jake takes her hand.

"Save me, Finn and Jake," Engagement Ring Princess said

"We are…" Jake whispered harshly.

"Save me, Finn and Jake!" Engagement Ring Princess said

"Can someone quite her down?" Roxy whispered out.

"Why does she keep saying that?" Jake asked

"I think she's traumatized, dude," Finn said, "Don't worry princess, we're gonna get you out of here," Finn and Jake lead the princess over to the doorway and Roxy followed. Jake changed himself into a sled and all got on sliding down the castle's ice path and out of the Ice Kingdom.

* * *

"Okay here we go time for some practice," Roxy said

Roxy was in a large forest clearing, her shield out. Every once and a while Roxy came out alone to practice her weapon skills. Today she is trying to make her shield grow and shrink like she did when she was fighting Marshall Lee's dad. Right now though she wasn't having much luck.

"Come on! Expand! Grow! Get big!"

Roxy shouted at her shield waving it around hoping that it would expand or at least do something.

"Ughhh….." Roxy said dropping her arms, "This isn't getting me anywhere. At least with my hammer, I can do stuff. I guess I'll just do some target practice."

Roxy set up several targets across the forest hanging them on trees. Once all of the targets were set up Roxy held up her shield like a discus then aimed it at her first target. She pulled her arm back then flung the shield as hard as she could. The shield whizzed through the air and hit the target splitting it in half perfectly but it also got stuck in the tree.

Roxy smiled seeing how she hit the target perfectly and the amount power the thing had. As she was about to run over and fetch her shield when she heard a cracking sound. Her eyes widened when she saw the tree her shield was stuck in start to fall over.

"Timber!" Roxy shouted as she rolled out of the way of the tree. The tree landed on the forest floor with a heavy thud scaring away various woodland creatures.

Roxy stood up and dusted herself off pulling a twig out of her hair, before walking over to the newly created tree stump. It seems like her shield didn't get stuck in the tree but cut through it, not fully, but enough to make the tree topple over.

"Well, this thing is stronger than I thought," Roxy said, "I think I'll end practice here. No need to destroy any more trees."

* * *

"Finn! Jake! I'm home!" Roxy called out walking into the tree fort. Roxy received no response and continued to call out to her brothers, "Finn? Jake?" But yet again she received no response. She walked around the house but saw no sign of Finn nor Jake, "Must not be home."

"Roxy!"

"Hey BMO," Roxy greeted picking up the small console, "Do you know where Finn and Jake went?"

"Nope," BMO said with a big smile.

"Okay," Roxy said setting BMO down.

"But they left you a note," BMO said handing Roxy a piece of paper.

"Oh cool," Roxy took the paper from BMO, "'Rox went out to go chop off an ogres head. Love Finn and Jake.' Well, that answers that question. Now, do I stay home or try to go and find them hmmmmm….?" Roxy looked outside the window, "It is such a lovely day outside and I'd hate to waste it by staying indoors. I guess I'll go find them."

* * *

Roxy was walking through the forest looking for Finn and Jake.

"Now if I were two dudes going to chop off an ogres head where would be?"

Roxy walked through some thick bushes and when she made it to the other side she saw a large gathering of Princesses.

"What is going on here? Some kind of royal princesses meeting," Roxy pondered looking around. She walked to a group of princesses getting their attention.

"Hello, girls what going on?" Roxy said

"The Nice King is looking for a Princess to marry," Wild Berry Princess said

"Yeah, and it's gonna be me!" The Princess with multiple heads said

"No me!" Honey Princess shouted

First insults were thrown then fist were thrown. Pretty soon the princesses were having an all out brawl. Roxy gave a nervous chuckle and slowly slid away from the angry royalty.

"Whoa who knew Princess got so angry over marriage," Roxy said

As she observed the fighting she finally noticed a large castle that had been made out of sand.

"Hmm….lets go see what this Nice King is all about," Roxy said

* * *

Roxy made her way through the castle searching for this Nice King. As she passed a door she heard some muttering.

"That must be where the Nice King is," Roxy stopped walking a knocked on the door before entering. She saw a tall man wearing khakis and a green sweater facing away from her.

"Excuse me but-Ice King!" Roxy exclaimed as the man turned around.

"What!? No, I'm not! Who told you!" Ice King shouted

"Dude, it's not that hard to figure out," Roxy stated, "You've got the same face, just because you shave your beard doesn't mean I can't tell who you are. Also, your voice is the same, you're wearing the same crown and plus your skin is blue."

"Ohoho! I get it!" Ice King had a big smile on his face and he was wiggling a finger.

"Get what?" Roxy said

"You knew it was me, because a daughter can always tell who her papa is," Ice King said

Roxy let out a sigh smacking her forehead, "No I just….seriously I just told you how I knew it was you. Why are you doing this anyway?"

"I'm trying to find a princess to marry," Ice King said

"That's what you normally do. Where's your beard man?" Roxy asked

"I shaved it off after my break up," Ice King said

"Break up?" Roxy questioned confused.

"But now it's growing back," Ice King said

After he said that hair started to pop up all over his face.

"I can't have them growing back yet I need to select my elite army of wives and take over the world!" Ice King said

"You're gonna take over the world….with princesses?" Roxy said confused

"Yes!" Ice King said

"Uh-huh," Roxy was rather confused as she nodded her head hearing the Ice King's plan.

"Nice King!"

"Finn?" Roxy questions

The Ice King walked over to the window, "Did you retrieve my stole razor?!

"Yeah and also this!" Finn shouted as him and Jake held up the Ice King's beard.

"My beard! I-I-I mean what is that?!" Ice King said

"Pfft, he knows what it is!" Jake said

"Now. Let's get him, Jake!" Finn said

Roxy smirked and crossed her arms "You better run," she told the Ice King.

The Ice King immediately ran out the room heading up the stairs. Roxy stood in the doorway as Finn and Jake ran by.

"Hey, Finn! Hey, Jake!" Roxy said waving causally.

"Hey Rox!" The boys said running by.

Roxy heard screaming from upstairs then she saw Finn and the Ice King fall past the window. Finn was on the Ice King gluing his beard back on him.

"Now fly, ya liar!" Finn yelled kicking the Ice King and landing on Jake.

The Ice King hit the ground hard landing on his face. Before he could even pick himself up off the ground he was quickly surrounded by Princesses.

"Ladies, ladies, teh hee, I can shave it off again, a-and when you get fat, I'll grow it back! Eh!" Ice King said

"Oh bad choice of words," Roxy said as she observed the scene from the sand castle window.

The Princess immediately get angered looks and chase after the Ice King with the intent to cause harm.

"Now that's what I call, a close shave," Finn said

"Awww, haa haa ooo," Jake laughed

* * *

Later that day Roxy found the Ice King laid out on the ground beat up.

"Man those Princesses are vicious," Roxy looked down at the poor old Ice King, "Poor guy, he's a really lonely dude. Crazy but lonely," Roxy thought

She walked over to the Ice King helping him up.

"Come on you old coot cheer up. Let's get you back to your castle and we can have some lunch together," Roxy said

The Ice King got a large smile on his face despite the pain and bruising and brought Roxy into a bone crushing hug, "Papa's little diamond! Oh, you make me so happy!"

"Yeah yeah," Roxy said allowing the Ice King to hug her.

 **The End**


	28. Roxy's Birthday Adventure

**Roxy's Birthday Adventure**

Roxy was in the middle of baking when Finn and Jake ran into the kitchen holding something.

"Roxy! Roxy! What's this?!"

"Hmmm?" Roxy looked to see what was in Jake's hands to see him holding the present that had been left on the front porch some time ago.

"Oh, man! I completely forgot about that!" Roxy facepalmed before taking the present. She flips the tag over and reads it. "Geeze I was supposed to open this thing a month ago."

"What's it for?" Finn asked

"Not sure I just found it on the doorstep one day," Roxy responded

"It looks like a birthday present to me," Jake sniffs the box, "Smells like one too."

"Haha, you goof!" Roxy laughed tapping Jake's snout.

"If this is a Birthday present then that means….." Finn lets out a gasp, "Its Roxy's Birthday!"

"Your right man!" Jake exclaimed

"You guys calm down, we don't know that for sure," Roxy said

"Are you gonna open it!" Jake urged holding up the gift.

"Maybe later, right now I'm in the middle of baking." As Roxy said that a ding went off and she turned her attention back to the oven.

Jake and Finn looked at each other then smiled slowly walking backwards out the kitchen.

"Okay Roxy you keep baking," Finn drawled out

"Yeah bake away girl….bake away," Jake intoned

As they hit the threshold of the door they turned around and ran out, wide smiles on their faces.

"Dude it's totally Roxy's birthday. You know what that means?" Jake jested

"We gotta throw a totally bombastic party for her!" Finn answered

"Exactly!" Jake shouted fist bumping Finn.

* * *

The next day Roxy woke up to find Finn and Jake were already up and gone.

"Huh? Where'd those two run off too?" Roxy pondered

As she made her way to the living room she saw no one there.

"Finn? Jake?...BMO?" Roxy called out looking around.

Roxy searched all around the house no sign of its inhabitants. "Man this is strange when the boys leave the usually leave a note. Maybe Princess Bubblegum called them for an emergency. I'll just pop over to the Candy Kingdom."

* * *

Roxy approached the Candy Kingdom's large gates, as she tried to go through two Banana guards stopped her.

"You can't come in!"

"Banana dudes it's just me Roxy."

"Sorry, but you can't come in." The Banana Guard asserted

"Why not?" Roxy asked

"Uh...because uh…." The Banana Guard started to sweat looking at his companion for help.

"You just can't!" The second one shouted with a nervous tone.

Roxy looked between the two Banana Guard's strangely, "Oookay then…." She then quickly pointed to the left, "Look crime!"

"Where!?" The two Banana Guard's shouted turning their heads.

With them distracted Roxy casually walks by the two entering the Candy Kingdom.

As Roxy strolled through the town she noticed that there were only a handful of Candy people present.

"Hmmm? The streets look a little empty," Roxy thought to herself.

As Roxy continued her way to the castle she spotted a familiar little chocolate malt ball carrying a large box.

"Hey Starchy!" Roxy called out waving with a smile on her face.

Starchy quickly turned around and when he spotted Roxy he gave a yelp before running away.

"Uh….." Roxy tilted her head confused, "That was….odd."

* * *

Starchy kicked open a door into the castle, "We have a code Pink! I repeat code Pink!" Starchy shouted running around the room.

"Whoa, whoa Starchy dude," Finn calmly said picking up the panicking candy person.

"What's a code Pink?" Jake asked

"Code Pink! The special guest has entered the kingdom!" Starchy cried

"Roxy's here?!" Finn and Jake exclaimed

"That's right Old Starchy here saw her making her way to the castle as we speak," Starchy explained

"Oh man. She can't come to the castle we don't have everything ready," Finn said

"I guess the Banana Guard's didn't do a very good job of keeping her out," Princess Bubblegum stated, "We're gonna need a different distraction."

Everyone got thinking looks on their faces.

* * *

Roxy whistled as she approached the Candy Kingdom castle doors. Before she could even put her hand on the door it slowly opened by itself. Roxy raised an eyebrow as Cinnamon bun slowly slid himself out of the crack in the door then shut it behind him.

"Haha, hey Roxy," Cinnamon bun chuckled out.

"Hey, Cinnamon bun. What's up?" Roxy greeted

"Princess Bubblegum wanted me to give you something," Cinnamon bun said, he pulled out a rolled up piece of paper handing it to Roxy. She took the paper unrolling it seeing a handwritten note from Princess Bubblegum.

"Dear Roxy, I need you to run an urgent task for me. It's incredibly important that this task be done right now. I need you to retrieve for me a very rare element for an important experiment. Follow the directions on the scroll and retrieve the element. Thank you, best regards Princess Bubblegum," Roxy read

Roxy rolled up the scroll looking at Cinnamon bun, "Welp it looks like I've got a mission. Tell Princess Bubblegum I'm on it and if you see Finn and Jake say hi for me."

"Got it!" Cinnamon bun confirmed

"See ya later CB!" Roxy called out as she ran off.

"Bye!" Cinnamon bun shouted waving at the teen girl. Once Roxy was out of sight Cinnamon bun walked back into the castle.

"So how'd it go?" Princess Bubblegum asked

"Perfect!" Cinnamon bun affirmed with a smile.

"Excellent," Princess Bubblegum smiled, "That should buy us enough time to finish up here."

Everyone cheered before getting to work.

* * *

"Okay let's see…..according to Princess Bubblegum's map I need to head north towards the Screaming Forest." Roxy lowered her map looking at the dense jungle before her.

"Hmmm…? I don't hear any screaming. I wonder why they call it the Screaming Forest?" Roxy pondered looking at the foliage.

She walked forward going through some bushes. The trees of the forest had rather unusual black bark on them. Never having seen anything like it Roxy went to touch it, but as her fingers brushed against the wood of the tree a loud shriek was heard scaring the girl.

Roxy yelped and jumped back summoning her hammer standing in a defensive position. Her last encounter with trees didn't end so well, so she was extra cautious.

She looked at the tree suspiciously before shuffling closer to it. She stuck her hammer out and gave the tree a poke.

"Ahhhhhhh!"

She pulled her hammer back quickly when the tree screamed. She gives the tree a questionable look, she slowly stuck her hammer out and gave the tree another small tap.

"AAAHHHHHH!"

Tap

"AHHHHHH!"

Tap

"AHHHHHHHH!"

Every time Roxy tapped the tree it let out a horrid screech. Roxy gave the tree a weird look and slowly backed away from it, bumping into another tree.

"AAAAAAAHHHHH!"

Roxy jumped turning around as she turned her foot caught a vine and she fell back into another tree.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

Roxy held her ears getting up and pulling away from the screaming tree. She kept knocking into trees earning more screams of terror.

"Now I see why they call it the screaming forest," Roxy groaned

Suddenly the ground started to shake, loud thumping coming from a distance.

"Whoa!" Roxy tried to keep herself steady as the ground shook. She was about to fall over but grabbed onto another tree, getting an earful of tree shrieking. A loud guttural roar came from the distance.

"What is going on?!" Roxy shouted

The sound of trees screaming and being uprooted could be heard, as something large headed right for Roxy.

* * *

Jake stretched his legs making himself taller so he could tie Roxy's Birthday banner up. Finn walked in the room with a stack of boxes. "Party supplies coming through!"

The large stack of boxes started to tip over as Finn wobbled to keep them steady.

"I got you, bro," Jake said going to help Finn.

As he did so one of the boxes fell over knocking into Cinnamon bun.

"Whoa Cinnamon bun? You okay there?" Finn asked

"Haha yeah," Cinnamon bun laughed out.

As he stood up and dusted himself off Jake spotted something stuck to the back of Cinnamon bun.

"Hey, Cinnamon bun, what's this?" Jake questioned peeling the object off of Cinnamon bun.

"Wait a second," Princess Bubblegum began as she walked over, she grabbed the item from Jake, "This is the map Roxy was supposed to get."

"Wait if this is the map Roxy was supposed to get then what map does she have now?" Finn queried

Flashback

Cinnamon bun was making his way to the front of castle going to deliver the map and note to Roxy. As he turned a corner he crashed into a Banana Guard. The two fell to the ground and the Banana Guard dropped the stack of rolled up maps.

"Sorry," The Banana Guard apologized picking up the maps.

"No problem," Cinnamon bun replied.

He helped The Banana Guard pick up the maps then grabbed the one that looked like his, failing to notice that his was stuck to his back.

"Okay, thanks for the help, I gotta go deliver these maps of deadly destinations to Princess Bubblegum," Banana Guard declared

Cinnamon bun smiles and waved the guard off before continuing on his way.

Present

"So Roxy's got the wrong map. I wonder where she's going?" Jake said

* * *

Roxy huffed and puffed as she held her hammer in defense. Her hair was disheveled and had twigs in it, and her clothes had a few tears in them.

"RAAAAAAA!"

Roxy rolled out the way as a giant branch slammed down where she once stood.

"Why does it always have to be trees."

That's right Roxy was fighting a giant tree monster. It was a tall tree bare of all leaves with withered wood. In the middle of its trunk was a hollowed face, that was twisted in anger and agony. The whole time she fought it all it did was scream and roar. Roxy's eardrums were pounding.

"Time to cut you down!"

Roxy exchanged her hammer for her crystal shield. She spun around quickly then launched the shield like a discus. It cut through the air right at the monster tree. The creature let out a horrible roar as it was cut in half. Roxy held up her arm and caught the shield.

She smirked cupping her hands around her mouth. "Timber!" The creature collapsed to the ground with a thundering crash. Roxy wiped the sweat off her face happy that the battle was over.

"Well, that takes care of that. Now, where do I go next?" Roxy pulled out her map finding her next destination.

Montage time

Roxy stood in front of a dark cave. She peeked inside then slowly walked in. Not a second later Roxy ran out screaming as a creature with a horses body, a goat's head, and snake tail chased her out.

Roxy was in the middle of a circle surrounded by rock people. They were cheering as Roxy wrestled another rock person. The two lunged at each other and strained against one another wrestling. With amazing strength, Roxy lifted the rock person up and threw him out of the circle. She threw her hands up in triumph as the rock people cheered and started throwing rocks at Roxy celebrating her victory. Roxy had to duck down and cover her face protecting herself from the celebratory rocks.

Roxy was now sitting in a small clearing surrounded by mushrooms. Next to her was a giant monster. It was at least eight feet tall covered head to toe in fur. The fur was yellow and had black stripes. The creature also had large tusk poking out the bottom of its jaw. Its eyes couldn't be seen as it was covered by its long fur. Roxy along with monster were both holding cups of tea. The two clinked their glasses together but they broke due to the monsters enormous strength. The creature looked devastated then it started to cry. Roxy smiled and comforted the crying creature.

Roxy used a vine to swing across a large river full of purple liquid. A large fin poked out of the liquid showing that something was swimming in it. The vine snapped and Roxy fell. As she plummeted a massive fish with a long snout full of teeth jumped out at her. Roxy kicked the thing in the face then used its body as a springboard to get over to the other side.

* * *

"I finally made it."

Roxy stood before a large castle-like structure completely made out of jagged stone, with a large stone door.

"Time to go get Princess Bubblegum's thing."

Roxy put her hands on the door and shoved it open. She was expecting traps, monster, something that would make this quest even more difficult but nothing. In the middle of the room was a large gem sitting on a pedestal light shining on it. Leading up to the gem was a red carpet.

Roxy calmly walked up to the gem with no issue stopping before it. She looked around her expecting something to happen.

"This seems too easy."

Roxy tapped the gem and nothing happened. She picked it up quickly then put it back, but still, nothing happened. She then shrugged her shoulders seeing as nothing was going to happen. She went to go pick up the gem again when the sound of a toilet flushing caught her attention.

A hole in a wall appeared and a giant cyclops with horns walked out. He was carrying a newspaper and a soda as he let out a noxious burp.

"Ughh that one hurt."

The cyclops lifted his soda taking a drink but then froze when he looked up spotting Roxy. He dropped his newspaper and spit out his soda.

"Uh….hello." Roxy waved

"Intruder!" The Cyclops yelled pointing at Roxy. "What are you doing here!? How did you get past the traps!"

"Traps. Dude, I just walked right in. There were no traps." Roxy said

"What no traps?! Oh yeah, I was supposed to re-calibrate them after the last intruder." The Cyclops said

"Well nice chat, but I'm gonna need this gem," Roxy said

Roxy went to pick up the gem but the Cyclops wasn't having that.

"None shall taketh!"

Roxy went to grab again.

"None shall taketh!"

And again.

"None shall taketh!"

Again.

"None shall taketh!"

Again.

"None shall taketh!"

One more try.

"None shall taketh! What part of None shall taketh isn't registering in your tiny brain!"

"All of it," Roxy stated

"You are not getting that gem!" The Cyclops yelled

"I really need it! Come on dude I've been through a lot today." Roxy groaned

"Your still not getting that gem!" The Cyclops yelled

"Pleeeeeaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssseeeeeeeee!" Roxy stressed out.

"No." The Cyclops simply said

"Come on don't be a soggy tomato," Roxy grunted

"No. Now leave!" The Cyclops yelled

"I'm not going anywhere without that gem," Roxy declared

"Leave!" The Cyclops shouted

"Never! I'll annoy you all day if I have to." Roxy firmly stated

The Cyclops let out a sigh an rubbed his brow. "I don't have time for this." He pointed at Roxy. "Very well mortal! If you want the gem then you'll have to defeat me-!"

Roxy smiled holding up her hammer.

"-in a game of wits."

"Awwwww." Roxy frowned dropping her hammer.

Next thing she knew Roxy was sitting at a table with the large Cyclops.

"In order to defeat me, you must complete a mental task so cruel, so ruthless, soooo brutal that many of men have gone mad from it!" The Cyclops exclaimed

"Whatever can we get this over," Roxy said

The Cyclops dropped something on the table in front of Roxy. It was a long loop rod with a handle on one end that was interlocked with nine rings.

Roxy picked up the metal thing looking at it quizzically. "Uh? What is this?"

"Hahaha! In order to defeat me, you must remove all the metal rings from the rod! Hahaha but be forewarned no one has ever-!"

"Done."

"...what!" The Cyclops looked down to see all the metal rings off the loop.

"I'm done. Here you go nine metal rings." Roxy said displaying the rings.

"Impossible!" The Cyclops picked up the rings looking at them perplexed. "How did you do this?!"

Roxy shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. I just did."

"Noooooo! You defeat me! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHhaaaaa-whatever I'm going back to bed." The Cyclops walked over to the wall he had arrived through opening up its secret door. "Take the stupid gem. I don't care anymore." The Cyclops grumbled as he walked into the wall and closed the door behind him.

"Oooookay." Roxy walked over to the gm plucked it off the pedestal walking out the cavern.

* * *

Roxy was exhausted. She dragged her feet as she made her way towards the entrance of the Candy Kingdom castle.

"I'm so glad this day is over." Roxy opens the castle doors ready to end her quest.

"Surprise! Happy Birthday, Roxy!"

"Wh-what's going on?!" Roxy was clearly surprised at the set up before her. The grand hall of the castle had been decorated and it was full of people.

"Happy Birthday Roxy!" Finn and Jake appeared holding a large cake.

"Finn? Jake? Did you guys plan this?" Roxy asked

"We sure did!" Jake beamed

"We wanted to throw you a bombastic first Birthday party in Ooo!" Finn said

Roxy was truly touched, in fact, she was so touched she even started to cry.

"You okay there Rox?" Jake asked

"Y-Yeah," Roxy sniffled wiping away her tears.

"Well make a wish and blow out your candles!" Jake chuckled

Roxy smiled and closed her eyes making her wish. She inhaled a large breath of air then blew out the candles making everyone cheer. "What are we doing standing around for! Lets party!"

"YYYYEAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

Loud music filled the hall as the candy people started to dance.

"Roxy, what do you have there?" Princess Bubblegum asked approaching the teen.

"Oh, it's the thing you wanted, although I wouldn't think you'd be the kind of princess into large gems." Roxy handed the large gem over to Princess Bubblegum.

Princess Bubblegum's eyes got wide. "This is a chronix gem!"

Roxy looked confused. "Isn't that what you wanted?"

"Yes! Of course! Great job Roxy!" Princess Bubblegum said before running off with the gem.

Roxy shrugged her shoulders at the Princesses weird behavior. Suddenly a pale hand appeared in her view. "May I have this dance."

Roxy looked up to see the smirking face of Marshall Lee floating in front of her.

"Hmm, I don't know?" Roxy joked with a mischievous smile.

Marshall Lee smirked and grabbed Roxy's hand pulling her out on the dance floor.

"Whoa!"

Marshall Lee's smirk got wider as he wrapped an arm around Roxy's waist lifting her up so she was floating with him. He kept one arm around her waist and held her hand with the other. Roxy laughed as Marshall Lee spun them around in the air to the beat of the music.

"Man, that party was awesome!" Jake cheered

"Totally!" Finn agreed

"You guys. It was the best Birthday Party I could have asked for." Roxy said

"Awww anything for our girl Rox," Jake said

"You two are the best. I'm gonna go store the rest of the leftover ice cream in the freezer and then head up to bed." Roxy said

"Okay." The boys replied

"Night Finn, Night Jake," Roxy said

"Night Roxy!"

Roxy carried two large tubs of ice cream into the kitchen. She opened the freezer and plopped the two tubs in. As she was leaving the kitchen she spotted something on the table, the present she had received all those months ago.

"Well, I guess it's time to open it."

Roxy walked over and slowly unwrapped the present. She was rather surprised by what she received. Inside the box was a simple large pink ribbon. It had her name embroidered in cursive on it. The ribbon looked rather old but it was in pristine condition as if someone had been taking excellent care of it.

It was simple but Roxy loved it. As she held the ribbon in her hands the soft material seemed to fill her head with a distance memory.

" _Happy Birthday."_

" _Oh, I love it!"_

" _Y-You do?"_

" _Yeah! It's so cute!"_

" _Y-your mom h-helped me make it."_

" _She did? So that means its handmade! I love it even more now!"_

The memory was brief but from it, Roxy knew that someone special had given this to her, and now someone else had re-gifted it to her. That means someone in Ooo knows her past, she had to solve the mystery of who knew her before she dropped into Ooo and this ribbon was the first clue.

Roxy removed her bell necklace. She unclipped the bell then looped it through the pink ribbon. She tied the ribbon around her neck tying a large bow in the back. She looked into a mirror admiring her work. The bell sat in the center of the ribbon necklace and her name was on the side of the ribbon right next to the bell, the big bow in the back sat perfectly upright.

All in all, today was a good Birthday.


	29. Blood Under the Skin

**Blood Under the Skin**

"Get it, get it!"

Roxy was laying in her hammock reading a book when she heard the shouts of Finn. She flipped out her attempted and dropped down the ladder landing in the living room.

"What's happening?" Roxy questioned

"We've got an evader in the house!" Jake said

"What?!" Roxy summoned her hammer holding it tightly in her grip, "Where?! Where is it?! Is it invisible!?" Roxy looked around quickly searching for any signs of the enemy but saw no one.

"There!" Finn yelled drawing his sword, "Yah!" He jumped in the air landing towards the end of the room pointing his sword at something.

"Oooooooh!" Jake shouted following after Finn.

Roxy ran up behind the two boys seeing what Finn was pointing his sword at. "Huh?" Roxy dropped her hammer seeing Finn was pointing his sword at a ladybug. "Whaaat?"

Finn hits the ground in front of the ladybug and the bug doesn't flinch but simply just crawls onto the sword.

"Get him out!" Jake shouted

Finn threw open the house doors and ran out with the bug still on his sword. He stopped in front of a large blade of grass and lowered his sword on the blade of grass. The ladybug crawled from the sword and onto the grass. Roxy just looked on confused as she put her hammer away.

Finn leaned over putting his face close to the ladybug. "Don't you ever let me catch you here again!" He turned around going back inside.

"Whoo-hoo! Ya ha ha ha ha!" Finn closed the door, "Agh! Ow!" He screamed as he pulled his hand away from his door clutching his finger, "Ooooooow! Agh agh mee duh!"

"Did he get you with his poison stingers?" Jake asked

"No, I got a splinter from the door," Finn revealed his finger showing the minuscule piece of wood stuck in his finger.

Roxy and Jake looked closely at Finn's finger. "Let me see." Jake said, "Wow, that's a tiny splinter."

Roxy reached for the splinter, "Here let me pull it out." She plucked the splinter out of Finn's finger earning a screech from Finn.

"The hurt! I'm gonna need some…"

"...finger protection!" Finn finished revealing a thimble on his finger.

Finn led Roxy and Jake to a marketplace where Finn proceeded to purchase some "armor". As Finn got his armor Jake introduced Roxy to Choose Goose. A silly character who mainly spoke in rhymes.

"Thanks, Choose Goose," Finn said

"I am Choose Goose. Come back for some juice! Ha ha ha ha ha!" Choose Goose laughed waving his arms around.

Finn held up his protected finger. "Man, I am so protected right now!"

As the three walked away from Choose Goose's stand they overheard a conversation between some knights in bulky armor.

"That is mighty thick. Go on, hit me!"

A knight hits another one with a sword and the weapon breaks in half. The other knights standing around clapped impressed by the strength of the armor.

Finn smiled running over to the group of knights. "Hey, guys! Check this out!" Finn turned to Jake, "Dude, hit me!" Jake complied quickly by punching Finn in the arm.

"Oww!" Finn cried holding his arm. "On my armor!" He hinted to Jake.

"Oh." Jake tapped on the thimble making a small clinking noise.

Finn makes an Okay symbol clicking his tongue.

Roxy sighs and starts to shake her head knowing what was going to occur. All of the knights point at Finn as they let out uncountable laughter.

"That is but a thimble! This," A knight gestures to his armor, "is real armor!" The knights continue to point and laugh. Suddenly there was a loud cawing of a crow and a man appears in black armor sitting on a pink horse.

"Wha?" Roxy, Finn, and Jake blurted out confused.

"Sir Slicer!" A knight exclaimed. The knights all start to bow around the newcomer.

"Who is the one that bears the thimble?" Sir Slicer asked

"This dude," Jake gestured pointing over at Finn.

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Oh, you foolish boy. Without full body armor, you're weak! You do not look *tongue click* Ha ha ha ha," Sir Slicer laughed before riding off, "Yah!"

Finn runs back over to Choose Goose. "Choose Goose, I need more armor."

"I've got something for you," Choose Goose held up a metal shoe, "a metal shoe! Don't ya know you might stub your toe?"

Hearing this the knights start laughing again.

Finn's cheeks start to turn red from embarrassment, "Uhh, no, Choose Goose. I need…"

"Look here hun. Choose this one to protect your buns," Choose Goose said holding up a pair of armor shorts.

The knight's laughter got even more hysterical.

"Protect his butt! Protect his butt!"

Finn's face gets redder, "No, Choose Goose. I want-"

"Don't be meek. What if you fall down and scrape your cheek?" Choose Goose rhymed

"Look at his butt! Look at his butt!" A knight laughed out.

Choose Goose starts to laugh too until Finn smacks him in the face, "Choose Goose, I want the most *tongue click* armor you have!"

"Ooh, have a look!" Choose Goose exclaimed, he pointed over at some armor with his foot. The armor was black, red, and gold with a skull on it.

"I'll take that one!" Finn beamed

"Wonderful! I'll need a trade of equal value. I'll take the head of your dog friend!" Choose Goose requested

"Say what?" Jake shouted

"No way!" Finn yelled

"Then about the girl as a slave?" Choose Goose asked

"NO!" Finn shot back. "Choose Goose, this stuff is overpriced!"

"No money for me? How about a poem for free?" Choose Goose sung out holding up a scroll.

More knights laugh and a couple fell over from the constant laughter.

Finn's whole face goes red again. "A poem?"

"If you can decipher the poem and complete the trials, you will receive the magical Armor of Zeldron. It is foretold to be totally *tongue click*." Choose Goose explained

"Skadow!" Finn and Jake cheered

"Cool," Roxy said

Choose Goose handed the scroll over to Finn, "Your quest begins in the marsh over the hill."

"Ah, yes! I'm gonna get that armor!" Finn cheered

"Yeah, man, you're gonna do it!" Jake said

"Were totally rooting for you man," Roxy said

As the three started to walk away Sir Slicer shows up.

"Good luck exposing your soft, vanilla-strawberry skin to the elements, dork! Haaaaaaa! Later, losers!"

Sir Slicer left as quick as he came.

"Jerk," Roxy muttered

* * *

Finn, Roxy, and Jake were walking through a marsh Finn still fuming over what Sir Slicer said.

"He's just jealous that I'm gonna have cooler armor than him!" Finn fumed

"Yeah, what a bumbleberry!" Jake said

"That guy was a total knob!" Roxy spoke out agreeing with her brothers.

As the three walked on but they stopped when they came upon a large area that was blocked by various red curtains.

"Whoa!"

"What's the poem say?" Jake asked

Finn pulled out the scroll. "'The sun nibbles on the clouds, and gum drop tears rain down.' I don't get it."

Jake grabs the scroll from Finn and rubs it, "Hmm...It means that we have to cross that swamp."

"Wow, that's...amazing?" Roxy said

"How'd you understand that?" Finn asked

"You don't just read the poetry to understand it. You gotta feel it. Trust me I'm smarter than everyone. Now get in there!" Jake said

"You guys aren't coming?" Finn asked

"No way, man. This armor thing is your deal!" Jake said

"We'll be with you in your heart," Roxy said getting on Jake's back.

"We'll wait for you on the other side." Jake stretched over the curtain forest with Roxy. He easily landed on the other side and Roxy got off his back.

"You think he's gonna be okay?" Roxy asked

"He'll be fine," Jake told Roxy in a carefree tone.

"What'd we do while we wait?" Roxy asked

"Hmmm? Oh! I know!" Jake answered

* * *

"23. 24. 25-"

Roxy counted as she jumped up and down. One of Jake's arms was stretched out and wrapped around a tree, and he swung his arm like a jump rope as Roxy jumped over it.

26\. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31-"

"Aaaaah!"

Roxy stopped jumping as she heard a loud shriek.

"That sounded like Finn," Roxy said

"It sure did," Jake said

"Do you think he's in trouble?" Roxy questioned

"Nah, that was a cry of embarrassment not a cry for help," Jake explained

"How do you know these things?" Roxy asked

Jake shrugged his shoulders, "I just do."

Jake and Roxy stood staring at the curtain forest as they heard more of Finn's screams. The screams got closer and closer making the two assume Finn was now sprinting towards them. As he got closer they could hear various other screams from different people.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"

"My privates!"

"I'm sorry!"

"My privates!"

"I'm sorry!"

Finn finally makes it out the curtains, face red as a tomato and breathing heavy.

"You okay, man?" Roxy asked

"No!" Finn yelled

Suddenly there was cawing of a crow signaling the arrival of Sir Slicer.

"Ha ha ha ha ha!"

"Wha?!" Finn and Jake exclaimed

"How is he doing this?" Roxy pondered

"What's the matter, crimson cheeks? Feeling a little embarrassed in the swamp of embarrassment? You're so red, you look like a tomato. Ha ha ha ha!" Sir Slicer let out more laughs as he rode away.

"Aahhhh! We'll see who's embarrassed when I get that armor!" Finn barked out. "What does the poem say?"

"Hmm...Ooh! 'The meadow weeps as morning sings of milk and honey and things to come.'" Jake read

"What does that even mean?!" Finn exclaimed

Roxy shrugs her shoulder not knowing either.

"It means we have to silence the echoing in the woods." Jake gestured towards a bush where crying was coming from.

The three go through the bushes and see a red-faced monster sobbing.

"Aw, man! I don't know how to silence that!" Finn said

"All right, I'll handle this one, dude," Jake said

"No. This is my burden," Finn said

"Then just make her think it's her idea. That's how you make the ladies do what you want," Jake said

"That doesn't really work," Roxy chided

"Oh, really. How'd, you think I got you to bake that cake the other day," Jake said with a smirk.

Roxy gasped covering her mouth with her hand. "Oh glob it does work."

Finn walks out of the bushes heading towards the crying monster.

"Hey, Monster Lady! Hey! Stop crying!" Finn said

The monster stopped crying turning to Finn.

"Stop crying because that's what you want to do!" Finn said

The monster gets a smile on her face then picks up Finn cradling him to her.

"Huh?! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh ahh ahh! Ahh ahh!" Finn yelled his face getting red as the monster started rocking him back and forth like a baby.

"Ha ha ha! She thinks you're her red-faced baby or something," Roxy chuckled out.

"I think she wants ya to nurse, dude!" Jake called out laughing as well.

Finn screamed waving his arms around. "Noo!"

Roxy and Jake's chuckling was interrupted by the cawing of a crow.

"Oh great," Roxy groaned

Sir Slicer appeared with a short man dressed in jester garb.

"Minstrel."

The Minstrel pulls out a lute and starts playing it, "He's Finn the blushing baby. His cheeks are bright and red! Be sure to make fun of him before you go to bed!"

Sir Slicer smirked looking at Finn, "Grandfathers will sing that to their grandchildren for generations to come."

"Grandfathers will not sing that to their children!" Finn yelled

The monster tries to knock Sir Slicer away but he simply holds his arm up blocking her with his armour.

Sir Slicer gives a tongue click with a wink before leaving.

"Just wait till I have the Armor of Zeldron!" Finn roared out.

"Yeah! Just you wait, weirdo!" Jake said. Suddenly a shadow was cast over Jake, "Uh? Uh-oh." The monster laid down on Jake taking a nap.

"Jake? You okay? Huh?" Finn asked

Jake stretched himself and was able to pull himself from out under the monster.

"Yeah!" Finn and Jake cheered

The two boys ran off and Roxy followed. They came upon a large cave that had a set of large ornate doors at the entrance. The doors said "Home of Zeldron's Armor".

"Finally!" Finn kicked the doors open with a "Yah!". As soon as the trio stepped in a ghostly figure materialized before them and a green ghost man emerged.

"Hello!" The Ghost Man greeted giving a wave.

"Begone, ghost! I'm here for the armor!" Finn announced

"First, you have to beat my high score in a game of Drop Ball." The Ghost Man pulled out a red ball and dropping it on the ground.

"Drop Ball?" Everyone questioned

"Drop Ball is an extremely addictive, high-intensity game designed for people everywhere. Here, let me show ya." The Ghost Man squats over the ball then picks it up with his butt, "Hut! One point." He drops the ball then does it again, "Two points. Three points."

The more he did it the redder Finn's face got.

"This game looks awful," Finn muttered

"Agreed," Roxy said covering her eyes.

"Oh, no. I absolutely disagree!" The Ghost Man exclaimed

"Let's just kill him and get the armor," Finn whispered to Roxy and Jake.

"How? He's already dead." Jake pointed out.

"Here." The Ghost Man tried to hand Finn the red ball. "It's your turn. Now, I don't want you to be intimidated, but my high score is six!"

"Guh!" Finn jerked away not wanting to touch the ball with his hands. "Just-just toss it on the ground."

The Ghost Man dropped the ball on the ground. Finn embarrassingly tried to pick up the ball but wasn't having much success at it.

"No, no, no! You're doing it all wrong! Let me show you how the pros do it!" The Ghost Man squats hovering over the ball. "See? It's all in the technique. Now, I'm gonna put a little finesse into it, just to shake things up."

As the Ghost Man continued to explain Finn, Jake, and Roxy slowly walk away heading to the next room. They opened the large doors and were blinded by an incredible light.

"Whoa!" The three let out amazed gasps as the armor radiated a magnificent light.

"Finn, it's so beautiful!" Jake said

"I've never seen anything so shiny before," Roxy said

"Guess all the embarrassment was worth it," Finn said

As the three gazed on an orb of light comes out floating in front of them.

"Greetings, young traveler. We know what you seek, and you shall receive it." The light covers Finn and lifts him up in the air. "Behold the Armor of Zeldron! It will protect you from evil, even ghosts."

Finn was laughing happily until the light finally died down relieving himself in his new armor, his new female armor. "No! Dude, this is lady armor!"

Roxy let out a grunt, face red covering her mouth trying to hold in her laughter. The armor was a large chest piece and had a helmet with long pigtails on it.

Jake makes the ok sign and *tongue click* sound and the orb of light copies him.

"No! Not *tongue click* No more embarrassment!" Finn grabs the armor and throws it off. "I don't need armor!"

Suddenly the door was kicked open revealing the Ghost Man who was clearly angry. "You did not watch my Drop-Ball technique!"

"Huh?"

"I give you firsthand tips that no one else knows, and this is how you thank me?! I absolutely disagree with that!" The Ghost Man let out an angry yell as he transformed into a fierce looking spector.

"Aw yeah ghost fight!" Roxy cheered summoning her hammer. "Yaaah!" Roxy shouted aiming a kick at the ghost but she just flew right threw him face planting on the ground. "Well, that didn't work."

"Now what?" Finn said

Jake held up the woman's armor, "Put on the armor! It'll protect you from evil, even ghosts!"

"Never!" Finn shouted "Yaaaaaaah!" Finn ran at the ghost trying to punch him but just like Roxy, he fell right through the ghost.

"Finn! Learn from my mistakes!" Roxy scolded

The ghost picked up Finn and started to suck the boy's soul out.

"Gah! Finn!" Roxy looked around frantically trying to find something, that's when she spotted the armor. "Jake! Armour up!"

"Got it, sister!"

Jake stretched his body into the armor molding his shape to fit perfectly inside it.

"Hey!"

"Huh?" The ghost turned around looking at Jake. "Mama?"

"Uhh…" Jake looked uncertain but then just rolled with it. "Yeah!" He shouted in a high pitched voice, "Listen when your mother is speaking to you!"

"Yes, Mama."

Still in the high pitched voice, Jake continued to scold the ghost. "You should be ashamed of yourself a boy your age sitting in this cave alone for thousands of years. You need to go outside and get some sunlight!"

"But I…"

Jake pointed outside. "No back talk! Outside! Now!"

The ghost drops Finn, and Roxy catches the boy before he hits the ground. He floated outside and once his form touches sunlight he starts to sizzle and burn. He screams out in pain but then in a flash of light, he turned from a ghost back into a normal guy.

"Whoa."

"Oh, thank you, Finn, Roxy, Jake! You've freed me from the addiction of Drop Ball!" The Man said

"No problem, dude. I couldn't have done it without the power of embarrassment!" Jake said posing.

"And I learned I don't need armor to be-"

Finn was interrupted by the cawing of crows which only meant one thing.

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Look at you losers. Finn, you don't have any armor, and your friend is dressed like a lady! Ha ha ha! So not *tongue click*" Sir Slicer said

"Well, at least I don't spend my day following a kid around! Get a life, dude!" Finn countered

"Oooooooooh I hope that armor is fireproof cause you just got burned!" Roxy jeered

"Good one, Finn," Jake laughed

Sir Slicer stuttered not knowing how to respond. "Well, I've...just been in the same areas today."

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

"Yeah, right!"

"Be quiet! I-I am more *Click-click* than all of you!" Sir Slicer yelled

"Come over here and say that to my hammer she's been wanting to talk to you all day." Roxy challenged

"Okay, I will!" Sir Slicer attemped to get off his horse but just ended up falling over. "Whoa! Er...Ugh, this armor's too heavy! Ah, no problem. I'll just prop myself up on this stick." He reached for the stick but let out a scream as he grabbed it. "Aghhh! Splinter!"

"Hey, Sir Slicer, maybe you can use this!" Finn held up his thimble. "Here you go!" He tossed it over to Sir Slicer pegging the guy in the face. "Free of charge!"

Jake picks up Finn with his butt cheeks before putting him on his back. "Come on, dudes, let's get out of here."

"Don't pick me up with your rump dude!" Roxy said jumping onto Jake's back.

Using the armor Jake launches into the sky flying. "Wa-hoo!" He flies into three mountain breaking them. "Dudes, this armor is totally *tongue click*".

 **END**


	30. Slow Love

**Slow Love**

Roxy let out a small yawn, she was a little tired from yesterday. Jake had gotten sick and while Finn left to go find a story for him Roxy went to a market to obtain some ingredients to make a nice tasty soup. Her trip to the market was rather eventful when she ran into some bandits then on her way back home said market she ran into a second group of bandits this group crazier than the first one.

When she finally made it back home Jake was out of bed no longer sick but Finn was now the sick one in bed. So since the ingredients she got for her soup were specifically for Jake's symptoms Roxy had to venture out again to the market to pick out new things for Finn's soup. So yesterday was a little tiring.

Roxy was busy writing in her journal, while Finn was reading Ooo's paper, and Jake was playing a game. BMO was also with them in the living room playing music and dancing.

"BMO, turn the music down. BMO! Turn it down!" Jake shouted

BMO ignored Jake and turns the volume up louder.

Jake groaned, "Come on, BMO you're messing up my game!"

BMO continued not listening and snubbed Jake as the little game console proceeded to continue dancing.

Jake turns to Finn, "Hey, dude, can I borrow that paper?"

"Mm-hmm." Finn nodded handing Jake the paper.

Jake rolls up the paper and swats BMO on the head. "Bad computer! No! No! Now go sit in the corner and think about your life."

BMO frowns but turns off the music going into the corner like Jake had said. Everything seemed normal and the three were about to go back to their normal activities until a giant snail burst through the wall of the tree house.

"Snail attack!"

The snail filled the whole tree house squeezing the three residents against the walls.

"It's so slimy!" Roxy shouted

The snail started crying shooting out goo onto Jake, Finn, and Roxy.

"Oh, sick!"

"Ugh!"

"NO! I think I got some in my mouth!"

"Dude, how do you fight a snail?!" Finn shouted

"Hold on!" Jake stretched his arms and grabbed a salt shaker from the kitchen. "I got this! Don't make me use this, man!"

"Salt?!" The Snail cried, "But I heard you guys were heroes."

"We are heroes. We thought you were trying to attack us. Why'd you break in here all mad, squirting that juice all over us?" Finn said

"It's not mad juice. It's sad juice. My name's Snorlock, and I'm saaaad!" Snorlock started sobbing again squirting slime all over the place.

"Stop squirting slime! Just tell us what's wrong!" Finn shouted

Snorlock sniffed and stopped crying. "I need a girlfriend. I have no one to love."

"Roxy, Jake, hero huddle." The two comply getting in a huddle with Finn. "What do you think?"

"I think our house is all jacked up," Jake stated

"And we're all sticky," Roxy added

"Yeah, but he's just an innocent goober looking for love," Finn said

"Yeah. Okay, let's help him. But he's got to lay off the house." Jake said

"And no more slime. It's gonna take several showers to get this out of my hair." Roxy said

Finn smiled, "Right!" He looked at Snorlock, "All right, man. We'll help you hook up as long as you-"

Finn is cut off when Snorlock burst through another wall of the tree house.

"Yay!" Snorlock now had the whole tree house on his back.

"Whoa!"

"Aaah!"

Finn, Roxy, and Jake climbed to the top of the house where they had a small observatory boat sitting in the leaves of the tree house.

"Lay off the house, man!" Jake demanded

Snorlock looked down sadly, "You guys...won't help me?" He started whimpering about to cry.

"No more slime!" Roxy shouted

"All right! All right! We'll help you, dude! Just put our house back!" Finn said

Snorlock smiled, "Okay! Right after I get a girlfriend."

"Aw! All right, you big crazy. It's a deal." Finn turned to Roxy and Jake. "You guys, what time is it?!"

"I don't know, but you're probably going to say…"

"Lady time!" Jake and Finn shouted as Roxy put two fingers in her mouth giving a whistle.

? ﾟﾐﾌ? ﾟﾐﾌ? ﾟﾐﾌ? ﾟﾐﾌ? ﾟﾐﾌ? ﾟﾐﾌ? ﾟﾐﾌ?

"Okay, Snorlock, if you want a lady, you have to be yourself," Finn explained

Snorlock looked confused, "How do I be myself?"

Finn pondered the question, "Uh, how does he be himself, Jake?"

"Just do whatever you want, man, as long as it comes from the inside," Jake stated pointing at his heart.

"Like sad juice?" Snorlock asked

"NO!" Roxy screamed

"You keep that stuff inside you, brother. You just got to talk to 'em." Jake said

"Oh. I never done that." Snorlock said

"Finn, you see any hot mamas?" Jake asked

Finn took out a telescope surveying the area. "Ummm…..Baaaaaam!" He pointed out in the distance showing he found a snail lady.

"Go talk to her!" Jake said

"Yeah go get 'em, big boy!" Roxy cheered

Snorlock seemed apprehensive. "Uhmm…"

"Go talk to her!" Jake and Roxy said

Snorlock let out a sigh. "Okay."

He slithered his way over to the Snail Lady.

"Oh! Hello." The Snail Lady greeted

"Hi." Snorlock nervously greeted back.

"Mm. You seem like a reasonable male. We should go to a movie sometime." The Snail Lady suggested

"He's got this," Jake whispered

"Yeah," Finn whispered back.

Snorlock started to shake nervously and sweat. "Uhh…"

The Snail Lady smiled and let out a giggle not noticing Snorlock's nerves. "I like old movies."

"Uh..uh uh…" Snorlock started to shake even more.

"Uh oh," Roxy said

"Um, are you okay?" The Snail Lady asked

Snorlock then started screaming scaring the Snail Lady. "Aaaaaaaaah! Girlfriend! Girlfriend! Girlfriend! Girlfriend! Girlfriend! Girlfriend! Girlfriend! Girlfriend!"

The Snail Lady looked frightened and quickly fled the scene.

Roxy could hear things shattering inside the house as Snorlock continued to freak out.

"Our house! We got to do something!" Finn shouted

"Relax. I got it. Snorlock! Hey, Snorlock. You okay, buddy? Went a little nuts there, guy. You got to get that under control, 'cause you're scaring ladies and jacking up our house.'" Jake spoke calming down the snail.

Snorlock eventually calmed down. "I'm sorry. Are you gonna leave me?"

"Aw, who could leave you? Come here, you big hot mess." Jake smiled giving Snorlock a hug.

"Break it up, you two! We have ladies to attend to!" Finn announced

"Yeah, the ladies." Jake nodded

"Talking to ladies is hard." Snorlock sadly moaned.

"But I'm a lady," Roxy said

"Yeah but you're not a snail lady. It's different." Snorlock said

Roxy shrugged her shoulders. "Fair point."

"Talking to the ladies isn't hard. Check it out, Snorlock. Finn, you be the guy snail, and I'll be-" Jake stretched shaping himself into the form of a female snail. "-the chick snail."

"Ugh! Gross, Jake!" Finn complained

"Come on, man. We're just pretending. Do it for love." Jake said

Finn cast his gaze to Snorlock who was whimpering.

"Please Finn. I really don't want another dose of sad juice." Roxy said

"Okay. I'll do it for this guy." Finn said

Snorlock gasps happily.

Finn looks uncomfortable as he coughs clearing his throat. "What's up, lady snail?"

"Well, I'm just sitting here thinking about mating with snails," Jake replied in a high-pitched tone.

"No! I can't do this, man! I-am-out!" Finn shouted

"I'll mate with you," Snorlock said

"We're just role-playing, buddy," Jake said to Snorlock in his normal voice.

Snorlock looked down sadly. "Aww."

"Here, Finn. This time you be the chick and I'll be the snail dude." Jake morphed into the shape of a buff male snail. "Hey, baby. What's up?"

Finn looked just as uncomfortable as before when Jake was the female snail "Uh-WHA!"

"Mm-mmm!" Jake picked up Finn's hand sniffing it. "Mm-mmm! Girl, you smell good. Did you take a bath in rainbows and cupcakes?"

Roxy looked just as uncomfortable as Finn watching the role-playing. "This….is just getting scary."

Jake started switching from the female snail form to the male one. "Say Yes! Say Yes! Say Yes! Say Yes!"

"Okay! Yes!" Finn finally shouted

Jake finally turned back to normal. "See, Snorlock? Talking to ladies is easy. Just act like me."

Snorlock located another Snail Lady going to talk to her with Jake's advice in mind.

"Uh...girl, you smell good," Snorlock said

The Snail Lady looked a little confused. "You can smell me?"

Snorlock started to get nervous but Jake whispered some words of encouragement.

"May I smell you more?" Snorlock asked

"Uh, okay."

Snorlock leans in closer to the Snail Lady and sniffs her whispering. "Cupcakes…"

The Snail Lady quickly pulled away. "Uh, I have to go."

"Did you take a bath?" Snorlock asked

"Don't ever talk to me again." The Snail Lady quickly responded before speedily making her escape.

"Please don't go! Don't go! Aww." Snorlock yelled as the Snail Lady disappeared into the distance.

"Aw, it's okay, buddy. Come here and give us a hug." Jake wrapped his arms around Snorlock.

"Man, I wish you guys were Snail ladies." Snorlock sighed

"Uhh." Finn and Roxy looked uncomfortable not knowing what to say.

"Stay focused, Snorlock. You have any cool talents that ladies might like?" Jake asked

"No." Snorlock shook his head.

"Umm, hey, Finn, teach him how to use swords. The princesses always love this one." Jake said

Finn, the excited young boy he was jumped pulling out his sword performing several cool moves.

"Do you think you can do that, Snorlock?" Jake questioned

"I don't know," Snorlock said

"Hmm. He's gonna need something else. Roxy!" Jake called out

Roxy jumped startled. "What! I was paying attention!"

"You're a bodacious lady. What would a guy have to do to get your attention?" Jake asked

"Hmmmm?" Roxy grabbed her chin thinking.

She never really thought about what she found interesting in guys. The more she thought about it the only thing that came to her mind was a charming fanged smirk.

"Gah!" Roxy yelled shaking her head with pink cheeks.

"You got something, Roxy?" Jake asked

"Uhm huh, I uhm…." Roxy spluttered not knowing what to say still trying to shake out the thoughts of a certain vampire. "Music!" She blurted.

"Music? That's perfect!" Jake exclaimed

He looked at Snorlock. "Maybe you're musical. Can you do this?" Jake took a deep breath then started beatboxing. "Try doin' all that."

"Hmm." Snorlock picks up two swords and starts to beatbox while twirling around the two weapons.

"Whoo-hoo! Yeah!"

"Yeah, Snorlock! Show us that talent!"

As if by magic a herd of Snail Lady's appeared in the distance and started stampeding their way over to Snorlock.

"Oh, my! What is that? What is that wonderful sound? Do I see swords?"

Finn looked worried as the Snail Lady's got closer and closer. "Jake, these chicks look pretty serious."

"Let's just let Snorlock do his thing. Go to it, buddy!"

Jake, Roxy, and Finn tuck themselves away into the observatory boat waiting to watch what was going to unfold.

The Snail Lady all gathered around Snorlock huddling close to him.

"Look at him go! Bringing in the ladies." Jake said

"Uh, he's bringing in a lot of ladies." Finn pointed out.

"Why are there so many?" Roxy questioned

The Snail Lady got even closer to Snorlock dancing into him. The motions of the Snail Lady's caused the tree fort to shake and rock. Inside things started to fall and break, BMO who was inside was slipping and sliding on the floor of the home.

Finn, Jake, and Roxy all screamed watching the destruction that was falling upon their home.

"Snorlock! These ladies are ruining our tree house! Stop!" Finn shouted

Snorlock ignored the young hero boy and continued what he was doing, the destruction of the tree fort getting worse.

"Their gonna destroy our house!" Roxy yelled

"Wedge, dudes!" Jake shouted

The three grab objects trying to wedge them in between Snorlock and their house trying to get their home off the giant gastropod. Even with the use of Finn's sword and Roxy's hammer they were unable to un-wedge the house from Snorlock.

"It's no use, guys. It's stuck with snail slime." Jake said

Finn lets out a yelp as he's shoved back by the Snail Lady's and sent into the mosh pit of slime.

"Finn!" Roxy and Jake yelled but before they could help they too were thrown back and forth by the Snail Lady's.

After being thrown about a couple of times the three land hard on the ground.

"How are we gonna get our house back?" Finn asked

"Dudes, I'm going in," Jake shouted getting an idea.

"Wha? Jake! No! You'll get slimed!" Finn shouted

"Or grinded on!" Roxy added on.

Jake gets a steely look of determination and jumped into the fray diving inside the house. He gets inside going into the kitchen grabbing the salt shaker. He manages to make his way back outside to Finn and Roxy.

Without saying any words the two humans agree with Jake's plan giving him the go ahead.

"Snorlock, I'm gonna give you till the count of three, mister!" Jake hollered holding up the salt shaker and three fingers.

Snorlock continued doing what he was doing.

Jake started counting down. "One, two, three!" When Snorlock didn't stop Jake frowned letting out a little growl. "Fine. I didn't want to have to do this." Jake gently shakes the salt shaker into his hand letting out a single grain of salt into his hand.

He blows on his hand letting the salt grain fly off. It floats in the air landing on Snorlock's face. Snorlock screams as the salt burns the side of his face. He bucks back crazily causing the tree house to slide off his back.

The Snail Lady's all stop dancing staring at Snorlock.

"Oh, my gosh! He's naked!" One giggled out causing the other Snail Lady's to laugh.

Snorlock instead of looking embarrassed just looked confused. "What? I'm naked? But I've never had a shell."

"Snorlock, you never a shell? That means you're not naked. You're a slug!" Jake declared

"Me, a slug?" Snorlock said

"So that's why he had such trouble with Snail Ladies," Roxy said

"Yeah, man. He needs slug chicks." Finn said

Snorlock pouted. "I don't know any slug chicks."

"Actually, I-I'm not really a snail." A female voice called out. Everyone looked over at a pink snail. "I'm a slug. My shell's made of peppermint." She shook off her "shell" revealing that it was indeed a large piece of hard candy.

Snorlock's eyes get bright and he laughs giddily.

? ﾟﾒﾛ? ﾟﾒﾛ? ﾟﾒﾛ? ﾟﾒﾛ? ﾟﾒﾛ? ﾟﾒﾛ? ﾟﾒﾛ? ﾟﾒﾛ? ﾟﾒﾛ

Jake, Roxy, and Finn stood in front of their house the sun setting in the distance. Also in the distance was Snorlock and the Slug Lady making out.

"That's gross!" Finn gagged

"I don't know why they have to make out so close to our house." Jake gagged too.

Roxy just had her hands over her eyes covering them from the sight. "Gah…." She groaned. "I cover my eyes yet my ears can still hear them."

"Come on, let's finish rebuilding it. I got some earplugs you can borrow." Finn said

As the three turn back to go into their house loud music started playing.

"Where's that music coming from?" Finn questioned

"Go! Go! Go! Go!"

The three looked over to see BMO sitting next to Snorlock and his new lady cheering as the two smooched.

"BMO! Get over here and help us rebuild the tree house." Finn shouted

"Yeah. You live here, too!" Jake shouted

BMO ignores them and just turns up the volume of the music.

"Oh, BMO!"


	31. Party Animal

**Party Animal -** **Deadly Treasure Trove Time**

 _Journal_ _Entry #4_

 _I've been helping Princess Bubblegum with rebuilding her memory machine. So far the process is slow, but we are making progress. Princess Bubblegum wants to get stronger materials so that the machine will be able to withstand searching through my mind. We've tested it a few times but the machine can't seem to penetrate the deep crevices of my mind where my lost memories are buried._

 _I've also been searching through Turtle Princess Library trying to find something on my magical necklace. So far I've got nothing but I'm not going to give up. The secret of Roxy will be uncovered!_

"Roxy come on!"

Roxy paused her writing. "I'll be right there Jake!"

 _Roxy out!_

Closing her book Roxy stowed away her journal and hopped out the window. She grabbed a rope and pulled herself up the side of the treehouse going to the roof where a group people had gathered.

"I'm here!" Roxy announced

"Finally!" Jake responded. "Now all we need is Finn."

At that moment Finn appeared on the other side flipping onto the roof, carrying a bag of chip.

"You got that cooler, buddy?" Finn asked

"Yup!" Jake nodded his head.

"Good, 'cause we're gonna need it for this ROOF PARTY!" Everyone around Finn cheered. "Watch this, everybody! Triple flip with chips for the dip!" Finn flipped in the air three times and throws the bag of chips into a bowl.

Roxy clapped at Finn's stunt. "Whooo! 10 points!"

"Watch this, everybody! A cooler! With stuff...for the thing!" Jake picked up the cooler but accidentally dropped it. He gave a sheepish smile a tad embarrassed causing everyone to laugh.

Cinnamon Bun turned towards Finn. "Finn, you always focus an endless amount of energy on everything you do."

"Yup that's Finn giving 1000% in everything he does," Roxy added

"What about me? What do I focus my energy on?" Jake asked

"Jake, your attention span is smaller than a pea. You don't focus on anything," Roxy said

Jake, who had only listened for a second, now had his face buried in a toaster that for some reason had ice cream jammed in it.

"Huh?" Jake questioned looking up at Roxy.

Roxy smiled rolling her eyes. "Thanks for proving my point."

"Finn, do another flip." Cinnamon Bun called out.

"YUP! YAH!" Finn shouted doing more flips across the roof.

"Hahaha! You're a dynamo, Finn!" Cinnamon Bun cheered

Once Finn stopped flipping around a tall man appeared by his side standing rather close to him.

"YEAH! I NEVER SLOW DOWN!"

The strange man slid closer to Finn touching him. "Never slow down?"

Roxy raised a brow and interjected herself in between the two pushing Finn behind her.

"Yo creepy mick touchy, hands off my little bro," Roxy stated with an authoritative tone.

"Sorry, sorry, he's just so full of _energy_." The Stranger said holding out the word energy in a creepy manner.

Roxy narrowed her eyes and took a step back, sliding away from the man pulling Finn with her.

"Do you think your energy could be used to power a huge machine?" The Stranger asked

"I guess so-"

Roxy covered Finn's mouth. "Finn we don't answer questions of creepy weirdos."

Roxy pulled Finn over to Jake.

"Hey, Jake. Your friend is super weird, dude."

The three of them look over at the Stranger who stuck his bare hands in the chip dip before eating it laughing maniacally.

"I thought he was your friend," Jake stated

Before the three could ponder on whom this guy was Princess Bubblegum spoke up.

"It's starting, everyone! The celestial alignment!"

The group got silent and stared up at the night sky. Roxy awed at how the sky lit up and it looked like lights were dancing across the night.

* * *

The party came to an end and the residents of the tree fort we're cleaning up. Once their home was back in order Finn, Jake, and Roxy made their way to the bedroom getting ready for sleepy time.

Finn laughed bouncing on his bed. "Dudes! That party was super fun!"

"Nothing like a beautiful force of nature to help put you to sleep." Roxy tiredly said climbing into her hammock.

"Man, I'm sleepy." Jake let out a large yawn.

"Then go to sleep, man!" Finn said

The two humans looked at Jake to see the yellow dog once again holding a toaster eating ice cream out of it.

"Huh?" Jake lifted his head out of the toaster. "Oh, yeah, right." He threw the toaster away and climbed into his bed. "Goodnight, homie."

Finn continued to bounce in his bed.

"Man Finn, _*YAWN*_ You sure are energetic," Roxy said

"That's right!" Finn bounced himself up and blew out the candle lighting the room.

"Goodnight."

* * *

Roxy sat up in her hammock cracking her back. "Man, that was a good night's sleep."

She slipped out of her hammock and put on her fuzzy slippers. She saw Finn was already out of bed and spotted Jake still asleep.

"Hey, Jake I'm making breakfast wanna join?"

The answer Roxy got was a loud snore as Jake turned over in his bed.

"Guess that a no." Roxy smiled. She made her way downstairs heading to the kitchen. As she passed by the table she spotted BMO in sleep mode but did a double take seeing something taped to the little game consoles face.

She walked over and took it off BMO revealing the object to be a note from Finn, written in sloppy handwriting with bad grammar.

Roxy squinted her eyes trying to read the note but saw a lot of things scribbled or scratched out, and paired with how bad the handwriting was made it rather difficult to read.

"Went…..out…..later…..I'll…" Those were the only words Roxy could read. "Man I'm gonna have to talk to Finn about his penmanship."

Roxy crumbled the note and threw it in the trash.

Roxy was dressed in her normal clothes her hammer slung over her shoulder. "Jake! I'm heading out!" She shouted upstairs.

She waited for a response and only got a grunt along with more snoring in return. Roxy smiled rolling her eyes before leaving the house.

* * *

"Knock knock! The one and only awesomely awesome Roxy has arrived!" Roxy called out knocking on a door.

"Boo." Someone whispered putting a hand on her shoulder.

"AH!"

 ** _*SMACK*_**

"OW!"

Out of instinct, Roxy had backhanded the person who had grabbed her in the face. She turned around to see a slightly stunned Marshall Lee rubbing his nose.

"That stung you know."

"Well, you should have known from the first time we met. I startle easy and I respond by hitting." Roxy mused

"Don't I know it," Marshall Lee mumbled to himself a small smirk playing on his lips.

"What?" Roxy asked

Marshall Lee smirked sliding up next to Roxy. "You should feel lucky not everyone can hit the vampire king and live to tell the tale."

Roxy giggled shoving Marshall Lee away, and he laughed floating off the ground.

"Alright tough guy. What's this important mission you need me for?" Roxy asked

"Come on in and I'll tell you." Marshall Lee led Roxy into his home, and she sat down on the couch.

Marshall Lee floated in front of Roxy. "You and I are gonna go on a little treasure hunt."

"Treasure?" Roxy perked up. "Go on…."

"It's a really valuable treasure I lost a long time ago." Marshall Lee said

"Go on…." Roxy said

"And we gotta get it back….from my dad-"

"I'm out," Roxy stood up throwing her arms up.

She went to walk out the house but was stopped when Marshall Lee blocked her path.

"Whoa whoa hold on!"

"I have no interest in seeing your soul-sucking father again. I rather like where my soul is right now. Right here, in my body." Roxy said

"Come ooooon, it'll be fuuuun.." Marshall Lee smiled dragging out his words.

"Nope." Roxy tried to sidestep around Marshall Lee, but she was blocked again.

"Come on, for a friend," Marshall Lee gave Roxy puppy eyes….or vampire eyes? "I really really need this treasure."

Roxy let out a sigh throwing her head back. "Is this treasure really that important?"

"Heck yeah! My Dad has had it too long and I need it back. This is like life or death stuff here." Marshall Lee said

"Fine then." Roxy agreed

"Awesome!" Within seconds Marshall Lee summoned a portal to the Nightosphere. He grabbed Roxy's wrist. "Let's go."

* * *

Roxy didn't even have time to think before she was dragged into the portal.

Roxy let out a grunt as she hit Marshall Lee's back. She peeled herself off the vampire king and took in her surroundings.

"Whoa, this is a lot of red and black," Roxy said

She and Marshall Lee seemed to be in a large throne room. There was a black throne in the back of the room with a red carpet leading up to the seat.

"Where are we?" Roxy questioned

"Were in my Dad's palace." Marshall Lee answered

"Wait you just portaled us into the middle of your dad's home?" Roxy exclaimed

"Yeah, it's the quickest way to get in grab the treasure and get out." Marshall Lee said

"But how did you know he wasn't here!" Roxy said

"I didn't." Marshall Lee said

"Well, how do you know he isn't here now?" Roxy asked

"Simple he would have attacked us the moment we got here." Marshall Lee said

Roxy let out a sigh palming her forehead.

"Ahhhhhh!"

Roxy jumped when she heard a loud terrorizing scream.

"What the crackers was that?!" Roxy shouted

"Oh, that's just the daily torture train." Marshall Lee said like it was no big deal.

"Torture train?!" Roxy cried

"Well, it is the Nightosphere." Marshall Lee said

Roxy went to walk over to a window to take a peek outside but the back of her shirt was grabbed, and she was dragged away from it.

"You can sightsee later. Right now we're on a mission." Marshall Lee said

* * *

Marshall Lee dragged Roxy down a hallway, and she took in the creepy decor.

"Your father sure likes torches and skulls," Roxy commented

Marshall Lee stopped in front of a wooden door, it would have been your average door if it was for the large lock and chains wrapped around it. Not to mention the lock was shaped like Abadeer's face, mouth open like he was about to suck out your soul.

"Here we are." Marshall Lee reached into his pocket and pulled out a black key. He put the key in the lock. As he turned the key a loud click was heard and the chains around the door burst into flames disappearing. The Abadeer face shaped lock fell to the floor with a loud clatter.

"Were in." Marshall Lee slowly pushed the door open revealing the what lies behind.

"Whoa….." Roxy's eyes widened plain before her. "This really is a treasure room."

The room We're with gold, gems, jewelry, weapons, and various other expensive things.

"Pffftttt!" Marshall Lee blew a raspberry. "This is just stuff my Dd has stolen. He's just hoarding things."

"Oooooo." Roxy got distracted by a set of demon skulls each one made of a different rare gem.

"Roxy! Pay attention!" Marshall Lee said

"Right! Right, so before I get distracted again what exactly are we looking for?"

"We're looking for a chest about this big." Marshall Lee gestured with his hands a medium-sized box. "It's pretty plain looking and all black. It's also has a silver lock on it."

"Got! Roxy awaaaay!"

Roxy dove into a pile of gold beginning her search.

Marshall Lee laughed at her antics before starting his search too.

Roxy wandered around the cave-like room searching for Marshall Lee's chest.

"Hmmmm?" She spotted something black and pulled it out of a pile. When she got it out it was a black lamp. "Nope." She tossed it over her shoulder. Roxy continued this method rummaging through the treasure.

"Demon vase, no. Shrunken head, no. Possessed pants, no. Cursed mask, cool but no."

"You find it?!" Marshall Lee called out

"Nope!" Roxy called back. "Man this is getting now where!" Roxy kicked a shield and it flew into the air. The shield rebounded off the wall then landed in a pile of gold. The gold shifted and fell away revealing the very chest that they had been looking for.

"Oh, awesome." Roxy walked over to the chest about to pick it up but stopped when she saw some words written on the chest obscured by some dust. She wipes the dust away and immediately covers her mouth choking back laughter.

"Oh, Marshall Lee I found it." Roxy sang out.

Marshall Lee floated over to Roxy a smile on his face. "Awesome now let-? What's with that look?"

Roxy was shaking her cheeks red from holding in her laughter. "Oh, nothing….Little Lee Lee."

"What?!" Marshall Lee shouted

Roxy finally burst out laughing as Marshall Lee's cheeks tinted pink.

"Where did you hear that?" Marshall Lee questioned

"It's written on the chest." Roxy pointed at the chest.

"Aw, what?!" Marshall Lee looked at the chest and written on the front in gold lettering was "Little Lee Lee's Secret Treasures."

Marshall Lee let out a groan grabbing his face. "Ugh, Dad." He hissed.

He picked up the chest and started walking out the room. "Let's just get out of here."

"Whatever you say _*giggle*_ Little Lee Lee." Roxy giggled

* * *

Marshall Lee and Roxy made their way back to the throne room.

"Soooo is Little Lee Lee like a pet name or….."

"You will never ever say that name again in front of anyone understand." Marshall Lee said

"Whatever you say…..Little Lee Lee," Roxy smiled

Marshall Lee let out a groan throwing his head back. "Let's get outta here before my Dad shows up."

Marshall Lee hands the chest over to Roxy about to open a portal back to his home.

 ** _*SLAM*_**

Marshall Lee and Roxy jumped turning around. Their eyes wide and surprised at the sudden entrance of Marshall Lee's demonic father.

Abadeer looked just as surprised as the teens, staring back at them.

"What are you doing here!" Abadeer screamed growling at Roxy.

"Uhmmmm sightseeing?" Roxy said

"Ragh!"

"Ahhh!"

Roxy screamed running around as Abadeer chased her. She held the chest over her head running around the room like a mad woman.

"If you think you can break into my home and live you're sorely mistaken!" Abadeer shouted

"I was invited!" Roxy shouted back.

"Slow down so I can suck out your soul!" Abadeer shouted

"Never!" Roxy cried

"Dad! Stop trying to take Roxy's soul!" Marshall Lee shouted

Roxy grabbed a touch off the wall and threw it at Abadeer. "Back! Back I say back demon!" She ran across the wall throwing al the torches at the Demon.

Abadeer just lets out a chortle grabbing each torch juggling them. "Haha, I still got it!"

"Wow, awesome dude!" Roxy said

"Haha, thanks! Changeup!" Abadeer smirked throwing the torches at Roxy.

"Ah!" Roxy summoned her shield blocking each torch.

"Aw, and I wanted to see you get burned. Now get over here and gimmie your soul!"

"Never!" Roxy went to run again but Abadeer jumped over her landing on a wall in front of her hissing in her face.

"Gotcha!"

"Bad demon!" Roxy cried slamming Marshall Lee's treasure chest in Abadeer's face.

"Ow!" Abadeer fell off the wall landing on his back. He slowly stood up a sharp glare coming to his face. "Now you've really done it."

The demon slowly started to shift his form into the on that he had used in Ooo to suck out souls.

"Time to go!"

Marshall Lee grabbed Roxy's arm pulling her through the portal.

* * *

A portal opened up in Marshall Lee's living room. Marshall Lee came flying through then Roxy, who landed on top of Marshall Lee and the chest landed on her back.

"Oh, thank glob I still have my soul," Roxy whispered

"You know in this position I'd say you were falling for me."

Roxy looked below her to see Marshall Lee, a cocky smile on his face, arms behind his head.

Roxy rolled her eyes and got off the vampire. She picked up the chest and set it right up.

"Whoooo." Roxy sniffed her shirt. "I smell like fire *sniff sniff* and fear."

"Yup that's the scent of the Nightosphere. Thanks for the help Roxy my girl. I owe you one." Marshall Lee said

"No problem Marshall Lee, next time I get to decide the deadly adventure and you can't complain," Roxy said

"Fair enough." Marshall Lee said

Roxy waved Marshall Lee bye as she left his house. When Roxy was finally out of sight Marshall Lee unlocked the chest revealing the treasure within.

* * *

Roxy opened the front door to the treehouse.

"Finn! Jake! I'm home!" Roxy shouted announcing her presence.

"Roxy! You're okay!"

Finn and Jake shouted running over to the teen. They wrapped their arms around her sandwiching her in a tight group hug.

Roxy's cheeks were squished as she had a perplexed look on her face. "Why wouldn't I be okay?"

"You and Finn were gone when I woke up-!"

"-and I was captured by that weird guy from the party-!"

"-who actually turned out to be a bunch of gnomes-!"

"-who wanted to use me to generate a machine that would destroy the planet-!"

"-but I was given amazing powers by the God of Party and rescued Finn!"

"Uh….." Roxy didn't know how to respond to the wild tale. "Good...job?"

 **END**

 _~Come along with me and the butterflies and bees. We can wander through the forest and do so as we please~_


	32. Crystals Have Power

**Crystals Have Powers**

Finn was sitting at the kitchen table with a giant crystal in his arms. On the table was a holobook, that he was searching through.

"Hmm…"

Jake walked into the kitchen. "Yo, man, what's going on?"

"I found this crystal on our doorstep, it's pretty mysterious, I'm trying to find information about it using the holobook," Finn explained

"What's this I hear about a crystal?" Roxy walked in the room.

"You know mysterious crystals are cool but do you know what's really cool? Tough Guy contest!" Jake shouted flexing his bicep. "Whoo-hoo! Tough Boys!"

Finn looks closer at the crystal. "Wait, man, doesn't this look like Tree Trunks' lipstick?"

"That's impossible, Tree Trunks exploded in the scary dark forest after she ate that Crystal Gem Apple, remember?" Jake said

"Poor poor little Tree Trunks," Roxy said

"Yeah, I remember," Finn looked down sadly.

"Come on man! Tough Guy contest me!" Jake cheered

Finn cheers up a little shouting "Ha!"

Jake starts flexing again. "You got what it takes to rip-it?!"

"Uh, yeah!" Finn stood up putting down the crystal.

"Then let's get it on! Roxy got get the scorecards!" Jake said

"Alright. I'll also make sure to put up the fragile items this time too." Roxy went to walk out the room, but stopped when she heard whispering. "Huh?"

"You say something Rox?" Jake asked

"No….did you guys say something?" Roxy asked

"Nope." Finn and Jake answered

"Okay then….."

Finn and Jake walked out to the living room. Roxy was about to follow, but she heard the whispering again making her pause mid-step.

Roxy shook her head. "Nope, I've already got enough on my plate to be worrying about mysterious whispers." The whispering got louder and Roxy covered her ears. "La la la can't hear it." She walked out the room not noticing the crystal Finn had set down was blinking.

* * *

Roxy sat on the couch holding some scorecards.

"Let's get this Tough Guy Contest started! Round 1: Wood Breaking!" Roxy announced

Finn grabbed a branch and broke it over his knee. "Yeah-yo!"

Jake grabbed the wood chaise lounge and broke the piece of furniture over his knee. "Hee-yah!"

Roxy gave a sigh pulling out a list. The top of the list read "Broken Things To Be Replaced After Tough Guy Contest". Roxy wrote down wood chaise lounge right under 2 End Tables and Picture Frame.

"Round Two! Pain Tolerance!"

Jake held his arm out to Finn. "Do it, Finn, do it!" He clenched his fist waiting.

Finn reaches out and pinches Jake's arm.

Jake's face wrinkles up as a tear started to come out, but he sucked the tear back into his eye. Finn lets go of Jake and he rubs his arm.

Jake then quickly grabs Finn chest and twist.

Finn holds back a shriek but a single tear comes out hitting the floor. "Noooooo!"

"Round Three! Wrestling!"

Finn and Jake run at each other and lock hands, trying to push the other over. Finn manages to overpower Jake and put him in a headlock.

"Got you, dude!" Finn said

"I'm gonna break out!" Jake shouted. He started to inflate himself growing bigger.

"No way!" Finn shouted

Jake laughed as he got bigger and bigger. "I'm breaking out of my fat!" He gets so big that he ends up squishing Finn. "I win, Finn! Finn?"

"Oh glob Finn! Jake, he's under you!" Roxy said

Jake quickly deflates going back to normal size. Finn was laid out his face on the ground. "Finn, Finn! Are you okay?!"

Roxy runs over and rolls Finn onto his back, and he starts to cough.

"I was just messing with ya, dude," Jake said in an apologetic tone.

"I...was just...messing with...you," Finn weakly said poking Jake's forehead. He stands up a little wobbly and staggers over to the upstairs ladder.

"Are you okay?" Jake asked concerned

Finn held his stomach. "Yeah," He pauses taking a deep breath. "I'm just going to rest my muscles." He climbs up the ladder leaving behind a worried Jake.

Roxy notices Jake's troubled look and pets his head. "Don't feel too bad Jake. He knows it was an accident. Just give him some time to recuperate. I'll go bake something to make you both feel better."

Roxy walks into the kitchen leaving Jake alone. Although her words made him feel a little better, Jake still felt really bad.

* * *

Roxy was now in the kitchen humming as she mixed some batter. Over her ears was a pair of big pink fuzzy earmuffs, to block out sound. Or to be more specific the whispering. She had started baking and the whispering had started up again. She tried to ignore it, but it kept on going, so she just grabbed the ear muffs.

Although she was getting a little curious about the whispering….

"Nope, not gonna think about it! I'm just gonna stand here and bake," Roxy said to herself.

* * *

"They're done!" Roxy cheered

She smiled and put on her oven mitts before pulling out a hot tray. She turned around and jumped surprised.

"Jake!? How long have you been in here?"

Jake was sitting on the floor slumped over holding a cup of coffee.

"I've been here for a while," Jake answered in a monotone tone.

"What?!" Roxy shouted

"I've been here for a while," Jake said again in the same tone.

"What?! Oh, wait," Roxy wiggled her head skewing the earmuffs, so she could hear. "Sorry. What did you say."

"I've been here a while," Jake said

"Okay, but why are you sitting in the corner?" Roxy asked

"I hurt Finn really bad. So in order to not lose control anymore, I'm going soft." Jake declared.

Roxy gave Jake a small smile. "Jake you don't have-"

Roxy was interrupted when Finn came into the kitchen.

"Sup, dudes?" Finn yawned

"Finn, you're okay! I was afraid I mashed your potatoes too hard." Jake said

"Ha, you didn't mash my potatoes! You didn't even make me cry silently into my pillow last night for thirty minutes. In fact, you ready to go again tough stuff?!" Finn said

"Nope, no more, dude," Jake stated

"What?!"

"I never wanna lose control again, man! I'm going totally soft," Jake's body went soft making him resemble a large pile of dough.

"You look like a wuss!" Finn said

"Mmm hmm." Jake hummed

"Come on Jake. Cheer up," Roxy held up the baking sheet, "Here have a cookie. There are snickerdoodle and peanut butter."

Jake without moving from his position stretches his arm out and grabs a cookie off the tray, then stretches it back. He slowly chews on the cookie not moving from his slumped position.

Finn laughs and walks over to the table. "Hey, the crystal is glowing a different color!" He picks up the crystal examining it. It glows brighter and brighter causing Finn to drop it.

"Whoa…" Jake said

There was an explosion of bright light knocking Finn to the floor. A portal opens up and three crystal men step out.

"Chip-chap-chop, what's going on?!" Finn gasped

"Uh, which one of you is Finn the Human?" A Crystal Man asked

"It depends on who's asking, are y'all good or evil?" Finn questioned

"Uh, we're good." He answered

"Oh, I'm Finn," Finn said

"Get him!"

The Crystal Men swarm Finn making him scream.

"Finn! Cookie attack!" Roxy shouted tossing her tray of baked goods at the Crystal Men. She then jumped on one of the Crystal Men's back and proceeded to hit him repeatedly with the baking sheet.

"Stop that."

The Crystal Man grabbed Roxy and tossed her over his shoulder knocking her into a shelf. She fell to the ground but before she could stand up the shelf falls over causing several jars to fall on her head. She groans slumping against the wall dizzy.

The Crystal Men pick up Finn.

"Hey, you guys, put my bro down," Jake said

"Jake! Roxy!" Finn shouted as he was being carried off into the portal.

"Finn!" Jake finally stands up and runs into the portal.

"Finn...ugh, Jake…." Roxy tries to shake off her dizziness as she stands up a bit wobbly. She runs at the portal but due to her dizziness, she misses the portal landing on the kitchen table as the portal closes.

* * *

"Princess Bubblegum! Princess Bubblegum!" Roxy was shouting as she ran through the Candy Castle. She kicked open the door to Princess Bubblegum's lab. "Princess Bubblegum!"

"Roxy!" Princess Bubblegum quickly looked up from a microscope surprised.

"Princess Bubblegum!" Roxy was huffing having run all the way from the Treefort holding the crystal over her head. She ran into the room and slammed the crystal on a table. "Finn was kidnapped by Crystal Men and Jake followed him through a portal created by this crystal."

"What?" Princess Bubblegum responded confused.

Roxy had talked so fast that the Princess hadn't fully picked up on what she had said.

Roxy once again started shouting while pointing very animated at the crystal.

"Roxy!" Princess Bubblegum said getting the girl to quiet down. "Please in slower words explain to me what has happened."

Roxy takes a deep breath, and slower this time, explained to the princess what had happened.

"So do you think you can get the portal back open?" Roxy asked

Princess Bubblegum was hooking the crystal up to some sensors. "I'm not sure but I'll do my best."

"I need to save Finn and maybe Jake. He's going through some things, so I don't know how he's handling himself right now." Roxy said

Princess Bubblegum typed on the computer. "Hmmmm? Interesting…."

"What is it?" Roxy asked looking at the computer too.

"Do you see these wave lines here?" Princess Bubblegum pointed at the computer screen. "This is showing that the crystal is giving off some type of energy signal."

"Aaaand that means?" Roxy said

"That this crystal is a doorway to another dimension." Princess Bubblegum said

"Cool cool, but do you know how to open said portal?" Roxy asked

"No." Princess Bubblegum said

"Ugh!" Roxy groaned slamming her head on the table.

* * *

Roxy was getting really agitated as the seconds ticked by. Princess Bubblegum was doing her best, but she wasn't any closer to figuring out on how to open the portal.

"That's it!" Roxy picked up the crystal and started shaking it. "Crystal I command you to open up the portal!" She shouted at the inanimate object.

"Roxy calm-" Princess Bubblegum stopped when the computer sensors started beeping wildly. "What's going on?! The energy reader is going crazy."

There was a bright light and the portal reappeared from the crystal.

Princess Bubblegum stared agape at the portal, "How did-?"

"No time to think about it now!" Roxy summoned her hammer. "I'm coming for you, Finn and Jake!" She shouted running into the portal.

* * *

Jake was still having some personal issues, and that wasn't helping him when it came to rescuing Finn. Finn was screaming as the Crystal Men were turning him into crystal.

"JAKE! AHH! HELP!" Finn screamed

"Finn, oh no!" Jake shouted reaching out to Finn.

A Crystal Man pushed him back, "Cut it out he looks good."

"MY BODY!"

With one final scream, Finn is completely turned into crystal and he falls to the ground with a heavy clunk.

"Nooo! My bud!" Jake cried

"Ah, let him in, he can't do nothing now." A Crystal Man said

The Crystal Men move and Jake runs over to Finn.

"I'm sorry, Finn, I'm super lame and now...you're dead," Jake said

"I'm not dead, I'm just all crystal stiff," Finn said

"Oh," Jake said

"Get your hands off my lover!" A Voice boomed.

"That voice," Jake said

"It sounds like-"

Finn and Jake were both surprised to see a large Tree Trunks floating down to them. But something was way off with her. Her skin was paler than normal, and she had large red crystals gems for eyes.

"Yes, Finn, it's me, Tree Trunks. But in this world, I am known as Quartzion the Crystal Queen." Tree Trunks said

"Oh my grosh, you're alive!" Finn exclaimed

"Oh, I'm more than alive, Finn. After I ate that Crystal Apple in the scary dark forest, I was transported to this crystal dimension where I become ruler of the crystal men. And the crystal men are all in love with me." Tree Trunks explained

All the Crystal Men ran up to Tree Trunks and start bowing before her praising the elephant.

"Love you Quartzion!"

"Quartzion, I love you!"

"Quartzion, we love you!"

"Yes, yes I know, but you love is not enough," Tree Trunks eyes glow, and she shoots a beam out of her trunk zapping the Crystal Men turning them to dust.

Finn and Jake gasp seeing the sweet little elephant doing that.

"I wanted you, Finn, so you could be transformed into my sexy crystal king." Tree Trunks said

"Tree Trunks, you've gone bananas with crystal power!" Finn shouted

Tree Trunks frowned, "Finn, it's not sexy for a king to call his queen bananas!" She shoots another beam aiming for Finn but Jake grabs him pulling him out the way.

"Jake, you totally gotta stop her!" Finn said

"I'll try man, but I'm still figuring out my bizz." Jake stretches his legs to get at the same height as Tree Trunks. "Here I come, Tree Trunks!" He lightly taps her, "Taste my gentle rubs!"

"Whoa there," Tree Trunks slaps Jake's hand away. "Don't you put your junk on my trunk!" She grabs Jake wrapping him up with her trunk.

"Go, Jake, go!" Finn cheered

"She's too sassy and powerful!" Jake shouted

Tree Trunks threw Jake away knocking him into a crystal wall.

Before he could get back up there was a flash of bright light and a portal opened up.

"ALALALALALALAL!"

Roxy came running out of the portal hammer raised and ready for battle.

"Roxy!" Finn and Jake said

"Jake!" Roxy then spotted Finn. "Holly nuts Finn! What happened to you!"

"I've been crystallized by Tree Trunks!" Finn sounded

"By Tree Truuuuuuuuuun-?" Roxy went wide-eyed as she looked at the giant floating elephant.

"Another interloper. You won't be stealing my crystal man." Tree Trunks said

"Uhhhh….what is going on here?" Roxy questioned

"Tree Trunks has gone coo-coo mad with crystal power!" Finn exclaimed

"She's got the power of crystal and sass!" Jake shouted

"Okaaay then…." Roxy said

"Roxy, hit Tree Trunks in the tummy, she's probably still got that crystal gem inside her! That's what's making her all bananas!" Finn shouted

"Got it!" Roxy turned to Tree Trunks clenching her hammer. "Tree Trunks I hate to do this but….attack!" She shouted running at Tree Trunks.

Tree Trunks fired several beams and Roxy spins her hammer deflecting the attacks. When Tree Trunks attacks were over Roxy jumped up swinging her hammer but Tree Trunks dodged. Roxy swung again just missing the elephant lodging her hammer in one of the crystal walls.

"You're becoming a real thorn in my side!" Tree Trunks said

Roxy went to pull her hammer out of the wall but Tree Trunks wrapped her trunk around Roxy's midsection then tossed the girl away.

"Hey!" Roxy was able to shift herself midair and land on her feet putting a hand on the ground as she slid across the crystal floor. "I need my hammer to knock some sense into you!"

"Jake! You gotta help Roxy!" Finn shouted

Jake got a worried look his gaze drifting between Roxy and Tree Trunks.

"Taste my crystal beam!" Tree Trunks shouted

She fired a beam right at Roxy, who brought up her shield. Tree Trunks kept firing blast after blast causing Roxy to slide back. She ended up being pushed back into the crystal wall. The force of the attack combined with her hitting the wall caused her to drop her shield.

"Roxy!"

Tree Trunks blasted the unarmed girl causing Finn and Jake to yell. Roxy closed her eyes and quickly brought up her arms.

"Gaaaaaah-huh?" Roxy's scream trailed off when she felt no pain. "Oh, haha! I'm fine!" She looked to see what had blocked the pathway of the deadly beam and saw a small wall of crystal had formed in front of her acting as a shield.

"How can this be!" Tree Trunks gasped

"Sweet!" Roxy hoped over the crystal wall and slid under Tree Trunks to the other wall retrieving her hammer.

"Ha-haha!" Roxy laughed grabbing her weapon.

"Man oh man, I'm not doing anything to help save my buddies. First I let Finn get all crystal, now I'm leaving Roxy alone to fight." Jake said

 _"Jake, Jake,"_ Jake started to hear the voice of his father again as a vision of the elder dog appeared in a dream cloud. _"I brought someone here to see you, it's your brother."_

Joshua reached over and pulled another dog into the dream bubble.

"Jermaine?! Are you dead?" Jake said

 _"Nah man, we're just dreamin' at the same time,"_ Jermaine said

"Oh, I'm sorry about that time I beat you up." Jake apologized

 _"That was an accident, I knew you were just horsin' off!"_ Jermaine said

"But dad, you said I was going to hurt everybody!" Jake exclaimed

 _"Yeah, every-_ bod-y _,"_ Joshua emphasized

"I don't know, dad, that doesn't really help me," Jake said

 _"Everybody who is evil, Jake,"_ Joshua added in. _"Let me finish next time, hm, yeah?"_

"Oh, well then I'm over it then!" Jake makes himself big and rushes over to Roxy's aid. "Rarr!"

"Marry me, Finn, we can snuggle through time and space and kiss each other in an alternate dimensional place." Tree Trunks said

"Jake hold her down and I'll smack the apple out of her!" Roxy said

"Right!" Jake said

Jake stretched his arms putting Tree Trunks in a hold. Roxy ran under the elephant and swung her hammer upwards hitting Tree Trunks right in the stomach.

Tree Trunks coughs up the apple and quickly turns back to normal. The crystal apple bounces off a wall and when it lands on the floor a portal opens.

"Oh, dear." Tree Trunks said

Finn's crystal body shatters, and he cheers jumping to his feet.

"Tree Trunks, you're back." Jake set the small elephant down.

"Sorry for having to hit you girl but I'm glad your back," Roxy said

"Oh, Jake, Roxy, I was behaving so inappropriately I'm so embarrassed." Tree Trunks said

"Oh shush, Tree Trunks, if I had a penny for every time someone went crazy hopped up on magic energy...I'd be Abraham Lincoln!" Jake laughed

"Yeah, we forgive ya! We know if it wasn't for that apple you'd never would have acted that way." Roxy said

Finn ran over. "Tree Trunks, you're okay! I'm okay toooo!" He said cartwheeling over to his friends.

"Oh, Finn, I was trapped here for so long and all I could think about was you and how your so nice to me and I, and I just wanted to say...I think...you're cute and I like you." Tree Trunks blushed

Finn gave a nervous smile his cheeks turning pink. "Okay, okay, let's go."

"Finn, when we get home, it's apple pie time." Tree Trunks said

"Ooooh!" Finn cheers

"Wait before we go! Jake, I gotta know, in your passive doughy state how'd you get rid of those Crystal Men from before?" Roxy asked

"Oh, I didn't. Tree Trunks did," Jake answered

"Wha?" Roxy was confused.

"They're right over there." Jake pointed at a pile of ash.

Roxy gave a low whistle. "Wow uhm, wish there were something we could do for them to make them go back to normal but uhm...Did someone say apple pie! Let's go home!" She pushed everyone through the portal.

 _ **~Apple pie in the oven, Tell me you can taste lovin'~**_

* * *

In the crystal dimension, the ash pile of the Crystal Men started to sparkle with a pink light. The light spread and slowly the Crystal Men reformed. The only thing was instead of being blue they were now pink.

"Whoa hey, we're back! And pink!"

"I feel awesome!" One cheered throwing his arms up.

"Me too whooooo!"

"Yeah!"

All of the Crystal Men got up and started whooping.


	33. The Other Tarts

**The Other Tarts - Roxy Makes the Perfect Cut!**

"In the Kingdom of Ooo there is a galaxy of flavors, but only one taste sensation is amazing enough to kill for…..the Royal tart. Royal tarts are very rare. They are only eaten at the most sacred gathering in Ooo, the annual Back-Rubbing Ceremony. The tart is so legendary that countless thieves will risk their lives for just one bite."

Jake, Roxy, and Finn stood before Princess Bubblegum listening to her explain the importance of the Royal Tarts.

"My head will be decapitated if the tarts don't make it to the ceremony. I only trust one guy to deliver them," Princess Bubblegum held up a painting, "the Royal Tart Toter."

The painting was of a large gingerbread man standing on top of a mountain in a very noble position.

"Whoa!" Finn gasped

"Cooool!" Roxy awed

"He's magnificent!" Jake said

Princess Bubblegum put the picture down, "He used to be, but he's gone mad and old. So he can't deliver the tarts anymore. Cinnamon Bun offered to fill the position, but he's kind of," She leaned down close to three and whispered, "half-baked."

Off to the side stood a happy Cinnamon Bun. "Hey, Princess! Here I go!" Cinnamon Bun got into a headstand but got stuck in the upside down position. "I'm stuck."

"Princess, let us deliver the tarts," Finn said

"Are you sure Finn? This is really important," Princess Bubblegum said

Finn got down on one knee grabbing Princess Bubblegum's hand. "Princess, I have never been more sure of anything in my whole life! I'll do anything it takes to keep you alive and safe. We won't let you down."

"Well...I accept your offer," Princess Bubblegum agreed

* * *

Princess Bubblegum guided Roxy, Finn, and Jake to a factory.

"Welcome to the Tartorium!" Princess Bubblegum announced

A conveyor belt rolled out dozens of tarts a large machine mass produced the desserts.

"Wow. They're so beautiful," Finn got close to the conveyor belt watching the tarts roll by.

"No. Those are the reject tarts, full of imperfections," Princess Bubblegum held up a container filled with tarts, "These are the perfect tarts," She gave the container a little kiss, "Safely packed into one of my anti-gravity tote chambers."

Princess Bubblegum handed the tote over to Finn.

"Tote sweet!"

"Now, I want you to tote those tarts through that tunnel." Princess Bubblegum pulled out her Holo-pendant projecting a map, "The Royal Tart Path takes you directly to the Royal Congressional Hall in the Bad Lands. The path is really safe and well protected, but keep your eyes open for any sign of danger, okay?"

Finn nodded his head. "Mmm hmm."

"Don't worry Princess we got this!" Roxy declared

"Oh, Roxy you won't be going with the boys." Princess Bubblegum said

"Huh?" Roxy voiced confused

"I've got a more important task for you," Princess Bubblegum said

"Oh….Okay!" Roxy said

"Good. Now here's your map." Princess Bubblegum gave the Holo-pendant to Finn.

"Hey Princess," Finn picked up a beaker, "What are all these bubbling chemicals all over the place?"

"That's paralyzing potion, Finn! Don't touch it. It'll paralyze you forever!" Princess Bubblegum gave him a nervous chuckle causing him to put it back down. "Thank you, boys. Come along Roxy." The two girls walk over to an elevator stepping in. Before the door closed Princess Bubblegum stuck her head out, "And remember, my head is on the line!" She pulled her head back in the elevator just as the doors shut.

* * *

"So Princess Bubblegum what's this important task you need me for?" Roxy asked as she followed the Princess.

"As I can no longer use the services of the Royal Tote Toter I also can not rely on the Royal Tart Ax Carrier," Princess Bubblegum said

"There's a Royal Tart Ax Carrier?" Roxy questioned

"That is correct. Their job is to carry and deliver the official tart cutting ax. I need you, Roxy, to take over this duty for me. Plus it's always tradition the Royal Tart Ax Carrier be a girl," Princess Bubblegum explained

"Oh wow, how cool!" Roxy smiled, "But uhm, what happened to the last Ax Carrier?"

"She's in here," Princess Bubblegum opened a door. There was giant sugar cookie sitting alone in the room, but she was lacking her arms.

"Hello!" She greeted shaking her body.

"Ooo!" Roxy winced

Princess Bubblegum close the door and the girls continued walking.

"What happened to her?" Roxy asked

"Unfortunately she wandered into a den of sugar-hungry lava dogs. I'll be able to fix her arms but not in time for the ceremony," Princess Bubblegum said

"Then I shall take this honor and do my best!" Roxy said

"Fabulous, now we must hurry and get you fitted," Princess Bubblegum said

"Alright, let-wait fitted?"

* * *

Roxy stood in front of three large mirrors staring at herself.

Princess Bubblegum sat off to the side observing, "What do you think Roxy?"

"I think it fits right I've never worn anything like this before," Roxy said

Standing next to Roxy was Peppermint Butler with a tape measure. Roxy's outfit consisted of a two-piece outfit. The top half was a white armor that had a gold lining. Etched on the left breastplate was a tart insignia. The bottom half of her outfit was a white skirt and the bottom of the skirt was decorated with gold strawberries. On her feet, she wore white metal boots that stopped right below her knees.

"Looks good to me!" Peppermint Butler gave Roxy a thumbs up.

"Not tight anywhere?" Princess Bubblegum asked Roxy.

"Nope," Roxy answered

"Excellent," Princess Bubblegum stood up, "Now we must grab the Royal Tart Cutting Axe and be on our way."

Roxy followed Princess Bubblegum to a large set of doors.

"The ax is in here, guarded by the Tart Cerberus," Princess Bubblegum said

"Tart….Cerberus?" Roxy questioned

"Just walk in there ask for the ax and show no fear," Princess Bubblegum said

"Uhmmm okay," Roxy shrugged her shoulders opening the doors. She stepped inside and the doors shut behind her engulfing the room in darkness.

Roxy stood still in the darkness and she heard heavy breathing along with panting.

"Hello is someone in here?" Roxy called out.

She walked further into the room her hands out. "Hellooooo!" Her hands finally touched something causing her to pause. She patted the surface under her hands feeling something soft.

 _"Hmmm? What's this?"_ Roxy rubbed the soft surface some more and it shifted a bit. _"Hmmm?"_ She put her face close to the moving softness. _"Smells sweet."_ Roxy shoves her face into the softness. "So soft!"

She rubbed her face and hands into the plush surface. Whatever it was it started to move and shift. As she continued a loud thumping was heard.

 _"Huh?"_ Roxy stopped and pulled away and the thumping stopped.

"Hmmmm," Roxy went back to rubbing the surface and the thumping started up again. Suddenly the fuzzy surface rolled taking Roxy with it.

"Whoa!" Roxy was lifted off the ground and was now laying on the fuzzy surface.

"T-Turn the lights on!" A gruff voice said

Lights were switched on and the room was bathed in light. Roxy was finally able to see what she had been messing with. She was laying on the belly of a large fuzzy three-headed wolf. Its fur was red and each head had a ring of green fur around their necks.

 _"Oh, they look like strawberries."_ Roxy thought

"P-Please continue," The second head cried

"Huh?" Roxy asked confused

"The belly rubs, please!" The first head said

"Oh! You mean this," Roxy started rubbing the Cerberus large belly and all the heads smiled happily. Their large tail started thumping on the ground as Roxy continued.

 _"So that's where the thumping was coming from,"_ Roxy thought

After about ten straight minutes of belly scratching the Cerberus seemed satisfied. Roxy slid off its belly and the large red animal rolled over sitting right up.

"We haven't had a belly scratching that good in ages!" The first head said causing the other two heads to nod in agreement.

"Cool glad I could help. So now that I'm in here could I please have the Royal Tart Cutting Axe?" Roxy asked

"Hmmm normally we'd make you'd go through a perilous trial to make sure you were worthy but after that belly rub how could we say no," The first head said

"Awesome!" Roxy cheered

"Give us one moment," The second head said

Roxy watched as the middle head started coughing and hacking. She was about to ask if they were okay but then the Cerberus spits something out. Something metal clatters to the floor landing at Roxy's feet. Roxy looks a tad grossed out seeing a large ax covered in drool.

"Ewwww," Roxy whispered picking up the ax. "Uhm...thanks!"

* * *

The large doors opened in front of the Princess Bubblegum, who had been waiting patiently.

"Haza!" Princess Bubblegum cheered as Roxy exited the room, "You retrieved the ax. I knew you'd be perfect for the task. Now we must hurry and make our way to the Back Rubbing Ceremony."

"I wonder how Finn and Jake are doing with their task?" Roxy thought out loud

"Let's check up on them." Princess Bubblegum pulled out the Holo-pendant. "Hey, Finn."

On the screen, Finn freaked out before falling back.

"I'm just checking in using the Holo-pendant. How are my tarts doing?" Princess Bubblegum asked

"They're, um...th-they're-"

Jake interrupted getting on the screen, "They're radical! No tart problems here!"

"Uhh, yeah! Right! Everything's, uh-bazoobs! Oh, look, something is eclipsing the sun. It's so dark now." Finn said as the screen went black.

"Finn? Finn! Oh, well, I'll see you soon enough!" Princess Bubblegum stopped the transmission before putting the pendant away.

Roxy and Princess Bubblegum loaded up in a carriage heading to their destination.

"Now Roxy before we arrive we should go over your duties as the carrier of the Royal Tart Cutting Ax." Princess Bubblegum said

"My duties? I just thought I had to deliver the ax to the ceremony," Roxy said

"That is just a small part. As the carrier of the Royal Ax, you must make the first cut of the first tart for the opening of the ceremony," Princess Bubblegum said

"Oh….neat," Roxy said

"If you do not cut the tart perfectly in half. Then you are the one who gets cut in half," Princess Bubblegum said

"What?!" Roxy shouted

Princess Bubblegum laughed waving a hand, "I'm just joking!"

"That's some sense of humor you've got there, princess. Wait, does that mean what you told to Finn and Jake about them cutting off your head wasn't true?" Roxy questioned

Princess Bubblegum nodded her head, "Correct. But I did that, so they wouldn't eat the tarts."

"Makes sense. Finn you could trust but Jake….when he gets hungry he gets hungry." Roxy said

"But the tart you will be cutting is being held by two people so if you do miss you might chop someone in half," Princess Bubblegum said with a smile.

Roxy blanched at the statement her lips going into a tight line.

"Princess we have arrived," Peppermint Butler announced

Roxy and Princess Bubblegum made their way into the castle, Roxy awing at all the tart themed decorations.

"Have the tarts arrived safely?" Princess Bubblegum asked someone.

"Yes, yes, safe and sound."

A table full of tarts was laid out as people gathered around marveling at the delicious desserts.

"Your new tart toter arrived right on time." The person said pointing behind him.

Princess Bubblegum and Roxy looked over and were surprised to see a smiling Cinnamon Bun waving at the two.

"Hi!" Cinnamon Bun greeted

"Cinnamon Bun? So where's Finn and Jake?" Roxy questioned

"Hmmm, I'll find out," Princess Bubblegum pulled out her Holo-pendant.

"Beginning Transmission."

"Hello?" Princess Bubblegum asked as the screen pulled up.

There was a shout and instead of seeing Finn or Jake on the screen, it just showed a flying scenery of a desert before the screen cut off going blank.

"Transmission Disconnected."

"That was odd," Roxy said

"No matter," Princess Bubblegum waved off the strange occurrence. "The tarts are here. So let the ceremony commence!"

Everyone cheered at Princess Bubblegum's declaration. Princess Bubblegum made her way over to the tart filled table and grabbed the largest tart.

"Now the Royal Tart Ax Carrier will begin the ceremony by making the first cut!" Princess Bubblegum announced

Roxy walked over holding the ax over her shoulder. "Good thing Marshall Lee let me swing his ax bass around." She whispered to herself.

"Are you ready official Royal Tar Cutter?" Princess Bubblegum asked

Roxy held up the ax giving Princess Bubblegum a salute.

"Proceed!" Princess Bubblegum said

Just like Princess Bubblegum said, the tart was lifted up and held by two people. Roxy held the ax up over her head taking a deep breath. She was about to swing it down but paused.

 _"No I gotta do this Roxy's way,"_ Roxy thought

Roxy smiled flipping the ax into the air. As it came down Roxy grabbed the ax handle and spun her body forward the spinning action giving her more speed. Once she got close to the tart Roxy untucked her body and swung the ax right down in a perfect arc cutting dead center through the tart.

A blue man walked over with a tape measure examining the tart.

"It is a perfect cut!"

The crowd cheered at the declaration and Roxy smiled.

* * *

The opening of the ceremony was going quite well with Roxy cutting several more tarts.

Princess Bubblegum held out the next tart for Roxy to cut as people stood around chanting, "Chop! Chop! Chop! Chop!"

Roxy held the ax over her head about to bring it down. In the middle of all the commotion the doors to the tart hall were kicked open as Finn and Jake rushed in.

"ROXY! NOOOOO!"

Roxy swung her ax down and Finn screamed.

"Aaaaah!...Huh?" Finn's screaming trailed off when he saw Roxy had chopped a tart in half and not Princess Bubblegum's head.

"Another perfectly chopped tart!" Princess Bubblegum announced

Cheers rang out through the crowd as Princess Bubblegum took a picture of the cut tart.

"Let the annual Back-Rubbing Ceremony begin!"

"Dude, they were just slicing tarts!" Finn said relieved

"And there's Cinnamon Bun over there!" Jake pointed out.

"Hey!" Cinnamon Bun waved at Finn and Jake.

"He must have delivered the decoys…" Finn paused the words that he just said registering in his and Jake's minds.

"The ones we poisoned!" Jake and Finn shouted

Thye quickly looked over to see Princess Bubblegum about to take a bite out of the tart.

"Nooo!" Finn ran over slapping the tart out of Princess Bubblegum's hands. "Princess, don't eat that tart!"

Roxy raised a brow confused at Finn's odd behavior.

"Okay! Jeez, Finn, I won't eat that tart." Princess Bubblegum then smiled holding up a second tart. "I'll eat this other tart instead!" She stuffed the tart in her mouth before Finn could stop her.

"No, Princess, no!" Finn cried falling to his knees.

Princess Bubblegum froze with a glazed look on her face as she stood in a statuesque position.

"The princess has been paralyzed!" Finn cried

"What are you talking about Finn? What's got your balloon in such a twist? Princess Bubblegum's fine," Roxy said

"She's right, I'm not paralyzed! I'm gripped with the flavor!" Princess Bubblegum said

"That means we must have been carrying the poisoned tarts all along! Yep! All part of my master plan." Finn said

"Psht! Whatever, man. Heh heh," Jake laughed

"Excuse me! What is this about poisoned tarts and alternate plans?" Princess Bubblegum interjected

"Roxy would also like to know about this poisoned tart plan," Roxy added in.

"I-I-alright, here it comes. I had a brilliant plan to tote the tarts along a dangerous path, but I mucked it up." Finn sighed, "You oughtta give this toter job to Cinnamon Bun. He's the real hero."

Over in a corner, Cinnamon Bun was laughing as he attempted to do a flip. "Yeah!" He just ended up flopping into a punch bowl.

"I'm sorry for not following your instructions and for lying to you about it," Finn apologized

"Oh, Finn, I forgive you 'cause I lied to you, too! They weren't going to decapitate me; I just said that so you guys wouldn't eat the tarts!" Princess Bubblegum revealed

"Oh!" Finn said surprised

"So I guess we're even," Princess Bubblegum brought Finn into a hug causing the preteen to blush.

"Uhh, yeah, I guess so," Finn nervously laughed

Suddenly the doors were kicked open for the second time and in came The Royal Tart Toter holding a squirrel in one hand and a hen in the other.

"Ladies and gentlemen! The Royal Tarts have arrived," The Royal Tart Toter declared

Everyone gasped seeing the senile looking gingerbread man, drooling frosting as he stood in the doorway.

"The old Tart Toter!" Princess Bubblegum gasped "Nobody move! He can't see or hear, but he can feel your movement."

Following Princess Bubblegum's words, everyone froze not moving a single inch.

The Royal Tart Toter looked around rather confused, "Hello? Eat my tarts? This cosmic dance of bursting decadence and withheld permissions twists all our arms collectively, but if sweetness can win and it can then I'll still be here tomorrow, to high-five you yesterday, my friends. Peace."

"Sheesh!" Finn winced watching the guy.


	34. To Cut A Woman's Hair

**To Cut A Woman's Hair**

Finn, Roxy, and Jake were out doing their good deeds for the day. Finn was up in a tree next to a nest of baby birds.

"Hey, Jake, give me some of that apple," Finn called out.

"Coming up."

Roxy hands an apple over to Jake, and he stretches his arm handing the apple over to Finn.

Jake smirks as Finn chewed on the apple. "I know what you're thinking about."

"Huh?" Finn's muffled voice came.

"Kissin' Princess Bubblegum on the mouth!" Jake smirked

Roxy laughed as Finn did a spit take, spraying the baby birds with bits of apple.

"No, I'm not! And...I wouldn't even do that ever," Finn nervously stated

"Yeah, you would. You're just bad at talking to ladies," Jake said

"Hmph." Finn tried to ignore Jake as he continued to feed the baby birds. "Uh, should I keep going, Mrs. Yoder?"

Mrs. Yoder, the mother bird, whose beak was bandaged up, shook her head. "No, Finn, that's plenty. Thank you."

"Okay." Finn threw his apple away. "Let us know if you need anything else. Hyah!" Finn cheered jumping down the tree.

"You three are heroes!" Mrs. Yoder said gratefully.

"Come on, dude," Jake said

"Hey! Do you hear that? She called us heroes!" Finn beamed

Jake chuckled, "Yeah, I heard."

Roxy smiled, "Finn you get called a hero at least twice a day."

As the three walked a bush started to shake catching their attention.

"Huh?"

The bush rustled again and a person rolled out. They stood revealing themselves to be a woman, who looked like her skin was made of wood. She also had a large balding pot on top of her head.

"Hey! How's it going?!" The woman brushed off her dress. "Ugh! Is that true, what the bird said? You guys are heroes?"

"Why were you hiding in that shrub?" Finn asked

"Oh, I wasn't hiding. I'm a Tree Witch. I can turn into trees and shrubs and bushes and stuff. Check it out." The Tree Witch held up her hands and mini trees grow out of them before she turned them back to normal.

"Bleh," Jake sounded bored.

"So listen, I need you three heroes to get me a lock of princess' hair." The Tree Witch scratched her armpit before sniffing her hand.

"Ew," Roxy muttered

"Why do you need princess' hair?" Finn asked

"Why? 'Cause I have a balding problem! What, are you, blind?" The Tree Witch pats her bald spot. "Are You blind!?" She shouted

"No, we're not blind." Jake and Finn nervously laugh.

 _"Just trying to not be rude,"_ Roxy thought

"I had no idea...I don't know…"

"Anyway, I need the princess' hair, so I can put it on my head. And then I'll be beautiful." The Tree Witch said

"Oh, well, uh, we know lots of princesses-,"

Jake covers Finn's mouth cutting him off.

"Uh, can you, um, give us a minute?" Jake said

"Yeah, okay," The Tree Witch said

Jake pulled Finn away leaving Roxy with the Tree Witch.

"Uhhh...I'm just gonna...go with them." Roxy quickly slid away from the witch joining Finn and Jake.

"Dude, I don't think we should help her," Jake whispered

"This time I agree with Jake," Roxy whispered

"Why not?" Finn questioned

"Cause she's a witch!" Jake said

"Maybe she's a good witch," Finn said

"Her? Are you kidding? Come on, look at her!"

The three look at the witch to see her turn her hand into a Venus flytrap and swallow a butterfly.

"If she was good, she wouldn't be so ugly," Jake said

"Kay I don't agree with that, but the last few witches, no let me rephrase that. All the witches we've met so far have been evil." Roxy said

"Are you guys still talking?!" The Tree Witch shouted

"So what do we do? Tell her we can't help her 'cause she's ugly?" Finn questioned

"No, man! She'll kill us or put a freaky curse on us or something." Jake glances at the witch. "Let me get rid of her with some of my world-famous smooth talking." He walks over to the witch and Roxy sighs shaking her head.

"Hopefully he doesn't get a hex put on him again. That would be like the fifth one this month," Roxy said

Jake walked over to the witch laying down next to her. "Hey. Sorry about that, girl." Jake spoke in his "smooth charming" voice. "Ahh. You don't mind if I take a load off, do you?"

"What were you guys talking about?" The Tree Witch asked

"How pretty you are," Jake said

"Huh?" The Tree Witch said perplexed

"We were just saying someone as pretty as you doesn't even need a full head of hair. Isn't that right, guys?" Jake said

"Uh, yeah, totally!" Finn shouted

"* _COUGH*_ Yeah _*COUGH_ *" Roxy said

"Nuh-unh!" The Tree Witch giggles

"Girl, if I didn't already have a G.F., I'd be on you like butter on toast!" Jake said

The Tree Witch smiles lying down next to Jake. "I don't mind if you have a G.F."

This catches Jake off guard and he blinks pulling back. "Oh. Umm…"

"I don't think it's working," Finn whispered to Roxy

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure Jake's just making things worse," Roxy whispered back.

The Tree Witch scoots closer to Jake and caresses his leg.

"Ah-ah-ahhh!" Jake jolted pulling back.

"How would you...court me?" The Tree Witch asked Jake.

"Yup definitely making things worse," Roxy said

"Um...spaghetti dinner?" Jake answered The Tree Witch.

The Tree Witch hmmed staring at Jake.

Finn finally stepped forward intervening. "Look, Lady, we can't help you get princess' hair."

The Tree Witch frowned. "Why not?"

"Because...we only help when someone's in danger," Finn said

"Oh! Well, why didn't you say so?" The Tree Witch stands up and using her magic she picks up Jake.

"Hey...uh...what's?! Yaaah! Hey!" Jake shouted

The Tree Witch put him back on the ground then sat on top of him. Jake screamed as he was squished under the bottom of the portly witch.

"There. Now someone's in danger," The Tree Witch declared

"I told you she was evil!" Jake cried

"Get off him!" Roxy shouted

"Yaah!" Finn shouted

The two humans jump at the witch, but she deflects them with a force field flinging the two back.

"What, you forget I'm a witch?" The Tree Witch said

"Maybe," Finn and Roxy whispered the older of the two pouting a bit.

"Well, maybe you two should get me some princess' hair, so maybe your friend doesn't get sucked into my bottomless bottom!" The Tree Witch said

Jake's body started to slowly vanish under the witch as he was sucked into her bottom.

"Get some princess' hair!" Jake cried

"All right, fine!" Finn said

"Wait! Uh, you...you can't tell anyone why you need it," The Tree Witch said

"What? Why?" Roxy questioned

"I don't want anyone to know I have a balding problem," The Tree Witch said

"O...kay?" Roxy slowly said

The two turn and runoff.

"Okay, Finn we split up and try to get hair. Whenever you get some head straight back to Jake and save him from the witch," Roxy said

"Got it!"

Finn and Roxy split up heading off in search of Princess' hair.

* * *

Roxy ran and ran, she didn't stop running until she came across a princess. The first Princess Roxy had come upon was Raggedy Princess.

"Raggedy Princess! Raggedy Princess! Raggedy Princess!" Roxy shouted waving her arms getting the Princess's attention.

"Hello, Roxy."

Roxy stopped running skidding in front of the princess. "Raggedy Princess! I need-" Roxy took a deep breath gasping. "Hold on a sec." She put her hands on her knees taking several deep breaths. "I've been….running for while."

Roxy inhaled and exhaled several more times refilling her lungs with much-needed precious air. When she was better Roxy stood up straight.

"Okay, I'm good. Now then….Raggedy Princess, I need some of your hair to save Jake's life!"

"Hmmmm, okay!" Raggedy Princess agreed

"Yes!" Roxy cheered

"But there may be a problem," Raggedy Princess said

"Problem?" Roxy said

Raggedy Princess leans in close to Roxy showing her hair.

"Huh? Your hair….its yarn…..crud." Roxy started running off. "Thanks anyway Princess but I need real hair! But you wear that yarn well!"

"Thank you!" Raggedy Princess called as Roxy ran off.

* * *

Roxy ran into several more Princesses including Slime Princess, Bee Princess, and Breakfast Princess. None of them had the right kind of hair that Roxy needed. Neither Slime Princess nor Bee Princess had any hair, and Breakfast Princess had hair made of egg whites. Nutritious and healthy but not what she needed.

Roxy ended up running back to where Jake and the Tree Witch were.

"Jake! Jake!"

"Roxy! Please tell me you have the hair," Jake pleaded

"Uhm….."

"Nooooo Roxy!" Jake cried

"I'm sorry but I never knew there were so many princesses that didn't have any hair," Roxy exclaimed

"Jake! Jake!" Finn arrived on the scene.

"Finn thank glob, tell me you have the hair. Roxy wasn't any help," Jake said

"Hey," Roxy whined offended.

But just like Roxy, Finn too didn't have any Princess' hair. "I'm sorry, man. Getting princess hair is-is impossible! They all just think I'm in love with them! Ugh! I can't do it. You're gonna have to spend the rest of your life in this witch's butt."

"Noooo!" Jake cried

"Eh! Quiet down! I'm daydreaming!" The Tree Witch scolded

"Finn, if they think you like them, then use that. Embrace it! Find the least terrible princess you can, play her some music, cook her a meal, smooth talk her until she likes you. And then get the hair!" Jake whisper shouted

"Wait. You mean like go on a date?" Finn questioned

"Marry a princess if you need to! Just get her hair!" Jake shouted

Jake suddenly started to sink further under the Tree Witch, and he screamed.

"Jake!" Roxy and Finn cried.

Roxy grabbed Jake's legs and dug her heels into the ground trying her best to keep him from going further into the Tree Witch's bottom.

"Go get the hair!" Jake's muffled voice cried

"I'll stay here and do my best to keep Jake from getting sucked up quicker. Get the hair, Finn!" Roxy said

"Okay! Hold on!" Finn sprinted off leaving his friends.

* * *

Roxy didn't loosen her grip for a second, holding on tightly to Jake's ankles. There were two lines in the ground under her, where her heels had dug in when she was pulled forward.

"You can pull all you want that's not gonna stop him from getting sucked in," The Tree Witch said

"Says you!" Roxy said

She dug her heels further into the ground determined not to let Jake go.

 _"What I wouldn't give for some kind of anchor to keep me from moving,"_ Roxy thought

Jake started to be sucked in further and Roxy tightened her grip digging her heels deeper into the ground.

 _"Jake...I won't let you go. I won't budge,"_ Roxy thought

Suddenly the bell on Roxy's ribbon necklace glowed, then her feet started to glow. A heavy weight dropped on Roxy's feet, and she was weighed down stopping Jake from being sucked up even further.

"Huh?"

Roxy looked down at her feet and saw pink crystallized boots had formed. The boots were pink and smooth looking like polished crystal. They were heavy too acting as anchors to keep Roxy grounded, so she could hold onto Jake.

 _"This-This is awesome. Did these come out of my bell like my hammer and shield do?"_ Roxy thought

"Don't worry Jake I won't let you go no matter what!" Roxy declared

* * *

Hours went by and the sun started to set. Roxy's arms were tired, but she refused to let go of Jake.

"My cat had kittens...and I'm thinking of naming one 'Little Whiner.' What do you think? Is that a good name?" The Tree Witch said

"About 'Evil Witch Let Go of My Friend'!" Roxy shouted

"Now that's not a very good name and it's too long," The Tree Witch said

Roxy groaned seeing that The Tree Witch didn't get what she was saying.

In the background, some bushes stirred and Finn came running out waving around something pink in his hand.

"Totally did it! Genuine princess hair. You hear that, Jake?" Finn smiled

"Just give it to her, already!" Jake cried

"All right, lady, a deal is a deal." Finn handed the hair over to The Tree Witch.

She gasped excited looking delighted but then her smile is quickly wiped away replaced with a frown.

"Ahh! This isn't hair! It's bubblegum!" The Tree Witch said

"What?!" Jake shouted

Finn takes the so-called hair and licks it. "It is bubblegum!"

"Seriously!?" Roxy exclaimed

"Well, I guess you failed. Say goodbye to your dog." The Tree Witch clenched her fist and Jake started to quickly disappear in the witches bottom.

"Aaaah!" Jake screamed

"Jake!" Roxy cried pulling him back but it seems the force of The Tree Witch's bottom was too strong.

"WAAIT!" Finn shouted

"What?" The Tree Witch asked raising a brow.

"If I learned anything today, it's that I'm awesome at talking to ladies! And, lady, you are crazy ugly!" Finn said

"Wha-a-a-t?" The Tree Witch gasped

"Whoa Finn," Roxy whispered

"Duuuude!" Jake cried

"Having beautiful hair isn't gonna get you anywhere, because you're ugly, inside and out, so ugly I want to throw up," Finn stated

"Duuuude!" Jake cried even louder.

"No one will ever find you beautiful. everrr! And it's got nothing to do with the ol' chrome dome. It has to do with what's in here." Finn pointed at the Tree Witch's bald spot. "Can you get off my friend now?"

Jake could be heard crying underneath the Tree Witch. "Du-u-uuude…"

"Man Finn, talk about being brutally honest," Roxy said

"He's right," The Tree Witch said

"Huh?" Jake gasped

"Well, don't get me wrong. I know I'm ugly. And evil." The Tree Witch stood up letting Jake go free.

He fell back into Roxy's arms who in turn fell onto her back looking exhausted.

"Oh thank glob I thought my arms were going to be pulled off," Roxy said

"I thought if I had some beautiful hair, I could learn how to love myself." The Tree Witch looked down sadly and started sobbing into her hands.

"Gee...I feel kind of bad," Finn frowned

"I don't," Jake said

"Roxy is too concerned about how she doesn't feel her arms right now," Roxy stated

"Hey, witch! Does it have to be princess' hair?" Finn asked

"No. Just beautiful hair." The Tree Witch sniffled

"What!" Roxy shouted sitting up. "Seriously?! Why didn't you say so earlier." She then facepalmed herself. "Why didn't I ask sooner?" Roxy stood up and reached up taking a dagger out of her hair, the dagger had been holding up a large portion of her hair. Waves of luscious ebony hair pooled around her feet.

"Check this out too!" Finn removes his hat and blonde hair fell out being three times the length of Roxy's hair. "HA HA-A-A-A-A-A!"

The Tree Witch and Jake gasped looking amazed at the two's hair.

"You'd two really give me your hair?" The Tree Witch asked

"Sure!" Finn smiled

"It grows pretty fast, so I don't mind," Roxy said

* * *

Finn's whole head had been shaved off while Roxy's had been cut with Finn's sword. Her hair now stopping mid back. The large amounts of hair were gathered together making a wig, the top part being black layered over the blonde. The Tree Witch looked excited as she wore the new wig on her head.

"Soooo how do I look?" The Tree Witch asked excitedly

"Totally beautiful." Finn put his hat back on. "Inside and out!"

Tree Witch smiled. "Thank you, Finn and Roxy. And now to use my hair for evil."

"What?!"

"Cause I'm evil!" The Tree Witch gave a cackle. "What did you want from me?" She started to run but ended up tripping over her new long wig. As she landed on her side a loud snapping sound was heard and The Tree Witch groaned in pain. "Ohh Oh, no. I think I fractured a branch."

Finn, Jake, Roxy all laugh watching The Tree Witch.

* * *

The next day Roxy was at the Candy Kingdom visiting Princess Bubblegum.

"My word Roxy what happened to your hair?" Princess Bubblegum asked seeing Roxy's choppy haircut.

"Oh, Finn cut it with his sword, so we could use it to save Jake from a witch's bottom," Roxy explained

Princess Bubblegum raised a brow a bit perplexed by Roxy's story. "Okay."

"Do you think you could help me even this out?" Roxy asked gesturing to her hair.

"Of course. Peps!" Princess Bubblegum called out

Peppermint Butler walked in. "You called for me Princess?"

"Could you help fix Roxy's hair?" Princess Bubblegum asked

"Absolutely!" Peppermint Butler said

Roxy soon found herself in a chair, Peppermint Butler standing on a stool behind her as he cutaway, styling her hair.

"All done!" Peppermint Butler held up a mirror showing Roxy.

"Lookin good!"

* * *

Later that day Roxy went to visit Marshall Lee, joining the vampire for a jam session.

"Whoa Rox what happened to your locks?" Marshall Lee asked

"Huh? Oh just got a haircut. It was getting pretty long anyway," Roxy touched her hair, "What do you think of it?"

Roxy's hair had been layered with sweeping bangs ghosting over her eyes. She didn't know why, but she had hoped Marshall Lee liked her new hairstyle.

Marshall Lee smirked and reached out twirling some of her hair in his fingers.

"I like it." He gave Roxy a wink, "Looks good on you."

Roxy smiled and felt her face get warm. She gave snort like laugh, "Well good it's not like I can change it now. But…" Roxy tousled her bangs. "I love the bangs, but they sometimes get in my eyes when I move around."

"Hmmmm?" Marshall Lee put a hand on his chin thinking. "Hold on a sec." The Vampire King flew upstairs and Roxy heard some things being moved around. Marshall Lee came back down with something in his hand. "Here." He placed the object in Roxy's hand.

"Huh? A clip?"

Marshall Lee had handed Roxy an all black alligator clip, it had silver triangles on each side making the clip look like it had fangs.

Roxy pushed her bangs up and back clipping them down. She looked at her reflection in Marshall Lee's window and smiled. Marshall Lee off to the side watching smiled too.

"I like it. Thanks," Roxy smiled. "Why do you have this though?"

Marshall Lee just shrugged his shoulders acting cool. "I just do, you know, sometimes you just have things lying around."

"Okay. You ready to jam?" Roxy asked

"Always." Marshall Lee said


End file.
